Fishing and Horses

Hooptedoole One

There was this horse which sneaked up behind Mad Mac and me on the bank and scoffed Mac's pork pie. The act established two things about the horse: firstly, it wasn't vegetarian, and secondly, it wasn't Jewish.

Young Mcginty Number One went fishing at the same spot, encountered the same horse and established two other things: firstly it's an alcoholic, and secondly, it's not very nice to know.

Young Mcginty and his mates were sitting there when the horse appeared and attached their beer cans. It bit the cans in two and slurped down the contents. When they protested, it reared up on its hind legs and came flailing at them with its front hooves. They got very wet on account of leaping into the water to escape. Then the horse stamped all over their gear, smashing the rods and baskets and leaving the bank crawling with maggies from the crushed bait tins.

The lads were wondering how to get out of all this, especially out of the water, when a little girl of seven or eight appeared with a bridle.

Come here at once, you naughty horse, she said. She slipped the bridle over the brute's head and led it away, quiet as a lamb, leaving behind four blushing, thirsty, and very damp lads.

Jan

Extract from: - Fishing For Laffs by Cliff Parker. Published by Sphere Books Ltd., 1985.

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