Argh, I'm the crappiest rider ever!

Discussion in 'Training of the Rider' started by Nazdaq, Mar 8, 2007.

  1. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    God, my riding is the worst! Everyone says that I look fine, but when I trot I feel like I'm flapping everywhere and I have just started canter, (I am way behind everyone else in my group anyways they all cantered ages ago!) and I had a different RI today, and she was really mean, saying I am unfit, saying that if I had cramp or was in pain I wasn't allowed to stop and also not being accomodating about me being deaf in my left ear! We were on a left rein, The lead file was cantering round, rest of us in walk. Girl in canter was doing a circle in front of the ride, RI says stop to me, but because we are on a left rein down the other end of the school I thought she said trot! She kept yelling stop at me, and I kept thinking she was saying trot. When I finally got it and pulled pony up, (by this time right next to RI! :eek:) she said to me, "Well you have to look at me!" Grrr, how am I supposed to look at her and keep on the outside track, as I look where I am going, if I look at her I will come off the track! Also am short-sighted, so can't see her lips from the other bloody end of the school in order to lip read! (I do lip read, but she doesn't know that and she can't expect me to do it when I am bloody concentrating on riding!)

    She basically kicked me out of the group at the end of the lesson, saying that I should have a private lesson. I have booked a private lesson at the same time as the group, next Thursday, but I am really tempted to just cancel it and give up altogether until I ride with my parents! I am overweight and a bit unfit, but pointing that out to EVERYONE in the damn group in the middle of the lesson is not on! And what's worse is this is the OWNER of the riding school! And I can't go riding anywhere else, as the only other place in the area is the RI that I went to once. She is a lovely teacher, but I don't fancy learning to canter on hacks, and doing manuvers in her small yard opposite a main road where you can hear the cars whizzing past - I am lacking confidence enough as it is!

    Having typed all this out, I am sat here crying; I just want to give up, but I know if I do that then I will have even less confidence and will never ride again. I love the horses and riding when people aren't shouting at me and just leave me to learn at my own pace! I don't know what to do, please help! :( :mad:
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2007
  2. xxxkristinaxxx

    xxxkristinaxxx arab_equine

    what a horrible teacher :mad:
    Dont let this put you off! If this was me i would have told her were to go then complain to the yard manager. Riding instructors should be understanding.

    Everyone has a bad day now and again.
    You said you had a different riding instructor, so maybe you could change to another one?

    Dont let that awful teacher put you down :)
    xxxx
  3. RustyMary

    RustyMary Spice is nice!

    Don't give up nazdaq! This means you had a bad day and an instructor who should know better, not that you are a c**p rider. Everyone learns at different rates and in different ways. Go to your private lesson next week - will this be with a different RI? It might be an idea to explain about your hearing to her beforehand.

    Are you sure there is no other RS you could go to? It would be better to travel to somewhere good, even if it was quite a distance, than put up with this rubbish - riding should be fun, and you're paying to be made miserable!
  4. *Sez*

    *Sez* Salsa & Solstice Twilight

    Personally, I would complain - that is not on, especially if you have made them aware that you cannot hear very well :mad: . My RI is very accommodating of my disability (perhaps too accommodating :rolleyes: :eek: ), and will ALWAYS tell me to stop and rest if she thinks I'm flagging because she knows I will push myself too hard otherwise.

    In theory, you do need to look towards the middle of the school, as it encourages your horse to look around as well and bend around your leg. I had real problems with my TB spooking until I cottoned on that he shouldn't really be peering to the outside anyway :eek: :D . However, it is a LOT to get your head around (I still forget regularly until my RI says "why aren't you looking at me?" :rolleyes: ), especially when you're still learning to co-ordinate yourself and keep the horse going forwards and on the track and your RI should not be bullying you and beating your self-esteem like this.

    I think private lessons are useful (having had private lessons now for about four years, I couldn't go back to a group session) and you may benefit from a couple of 1:1 sessions, but make sure it's with an instructor you're happy with. Riding should be a pleasure, not a chore :)
  5. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    Rustymary, its always pot luck as to which RI you get, and I always remind the RI no matter who it is about my hearing at the start of the lesson! The RI I had today is one of the OWNERS of the riding school, its a family business, grandmother, mother and daughter thing, this is the daughter. So I can't complain about her because there is no-one else to complain to! And what's worse, I am 'going back to basics' and getting put on George, which is the pony I fell off in my 3rd lesson! He is lovely and steady for everyone else, but I can't help think if I am nervous he will have me on the floor again! To a certain extent this woman is right, I do have to suck it up and get on with it, but sometimes I just want to give up....*cries* :(
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2007
  6. Darcys-girl

    Darcys-girl New Member

    Sending you hugs. Sounds like you have had a pants lesson from a pants instructor, but tomorrow is a new day so put it behind you and start a fresh. You need a lesson with some one is can focus on you and try to sort out your confidence and help you to learn at your own speed. Is the lesson next week with a different RI? I think you should go to it and let the RI know you just want a confidence building lesson with no stress. Every one learns at different speeds some lucky ones can just get on a horse and ride the rest of us have to work bloody hard and still struggle you are not allown - promise (been riding all my life only just learned how to do rising trot on correct diaganol last year - very slow learner!). Keep your chin up and dont give up - you cant let that horrid RI win!
  7. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    Thank you for the hugs, I just feel like i'm unfit and I hurt the horse and I should be banned from riding! I have just phoned them up to find out who the lesson is likely to be with, and the woman on the phone looked it up in the appointments book and said it would probably be the same woman that I had today! :mad: :( Should I just cancel it and take a week out?
  8. Trewsers

    Trewsers Well-Known Member

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    Aw, thats awful, she had no business being so unsubtle about your fitness level. Horrid teacher, there is just no need. My gut reaction is to tell you to find an alternative, after all, you are paying for this, and you should be enjoying it. But you say there isn't really any alternative. Oh dear. Perhaps a private lesson would be better - you may find you learn more. But, still doesn't give her the right to treat you like that in front of others. I feel quite mad for you!!!!
  9. Gimp

    Gimp Gimpy Gimp Gimp

    That is totally uncalled for. At the end of the day you are there to learn not to be picked at and shown up, and personally made a fool of.. Thats not constructive atall?

    I havent had a lesson for a while, however when I last had one I was quite unfit!! I explained to my instructor I am not feeling at peak energy! she quite happily said if I am near collapse just pull into the middle and relax and rejoin.

    Whats the problem?

    How you kept your cool with her I do not know!!!

    Keep your chin up... picture running over her with your horse when shes being rude and you would chuckle to yourself and get on with your lesson and dont let her ruin your fun:D
  10. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    I know, I was like :eek: so now people that aren't very fit can't take up riding in order to get fitter and healthier, we have to be fit first in order to qualify?! I am asthmatic and find it hard to breathe and trot sometimes, so I don't think my muscles get enough oxygen, hence I get cramp! She was just so mean to me, and I don't want to go back there next week because the private lesson I booked is with the same person! - Right, I have just phoned them and cancelled it, and already feel alot better! At least now when she finds out its cancelled she will know she didn't get away with treating me like dirt in front of other people!

    I also didn't want to say this, but I will say it now and if anyone is offended by what I say next just don't read it! I had vibes from her like I have gotten in the past when I have been bullied by racist people....they find other things about me to pick up on because they don't want me to find out its because thier racist! So in this case, perhaps she was picking up on little mistakes I was making and blowing them up huge, demeaning me by making the comments she made and pulling me out of the group because she is racist? I can't help but wonder....If so then :mad:

    P.S: Denbenj, I did do this with all other RIs I have had, just pulled into the middle, count to 100 then rejoin again! It was fine! You made me laugh when you said about running her over! :p I will take a week off, and rebook for week after next, providing at the end of next week I actually have the craving to ride! :D
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2007
  11. Teehee

    Teehee New Member

    That RI... is certainly far from being professional... I'd use a swear word... but it would show up in little stars!!! hehehe ;) Just ignore her... she's just being ignorant!! If you have an hearing disability... well, she the teacher she'll have to find out how to adjust or find a way to comunicate with you without making you feel bad!!! I'd complain also!
    As for if your not fit... that is not something she should use to pick on you, you are paying money to learn how to ride horses... not for someone to insult you!!!
    Hope your private class is with another instructor... and that you have a better time! :) Which is the whole point of it!! :D
  12. sophie33

    sophie33 Active Member

    Glad you've taken some positive action and are feeling better! Can't comment on the racism fear, but I wouldn't be suprised if you are right. Don't let her stop you riding though! 99% of us are probably not the most naturally gifted riders (I know I'm not) but it doesn't mean we can't learn to ride competently and enjoy learning. The people we are paying to teach us should never be mean! I know you say there are no other schools near you but are you sure. I tried a lot of different schools and left several exactly because of being shouted at for being uncoordinated (which of course made me more nervous and more uncoordinated). Maybe the one you mentioned at the start would be better. Perhaps you could do a few hacks there. Hacking can be a good way to learn with a good teacher and a calm horse (and you could always start on a leadrope to help your confidence).
    Oh and one last thing - you mention worrying about hurting the horse. I have always worried about that because I am a bit useless but my new RI has put it in a different light. She says that because I am the kind of person who worries about hurting the horse I am the least likely to do it. And also that as a beginner I have no bad habits and so she can mould me into the kind of rider who never unintentionally hurts the horse, whereas with long established riders with long established bad habits it is much more difficult. Sounds better doesn't it :)
  13. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    Teehee, it wasn't going to be with a different instructor, so I cancelled it...I'm not sure right now whether I will go back there or not, we will have to see. :) :eek:

    Sophie, yes that does sound good, if only the professionals would tell me that so I could believe it! The RI I mentioned that I rode with once that had the outside yard and nothing else, she said things like: "Don't sit like that, your sitting on his kidenys and hurting him!" and "Don't KICK my HORSES!!" Yelled really loud....so thats why I didn't go back becuase she has a point but that doesn't do well for my confidence either! I tend to take everything they say to heart, and if they constantly slag me off then I think I am crap....after all, they are the experts, they should know, right? :eek:

    P.S: After that lesson with the outdoor RI, I went back to the riding school that we are now talking about, and apparently according to them I am too soft with my legs!! :eek: I just can't win, one person says I am hurting the horse, the other says I am too soft! Grrrr... :mad:
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2007
  14. Teehee

    Teehee New Member

    Well done!!!
  15. teabiscuit

    teabiscuit Moooo

    ummm you may have stiff competition from me for the right to that particular title

    get ye to the back of the queue N

    xxx
  16. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    Bump, can anyone help with the mixed signals/advice I get from RIs? See my previous post on this thread. Any advice really appreciated. :D
  17. sockonmyhead

    sockonmyhead Sammy

    I'm so sorry for you, and I'm actually quite angry! These people are being paid to take the time out of their lives to teach someone else something which they *should* love! Being treated like that is not on! You said that it was a family run business? Complain to her mother or grandmother! Your story actually reminded me of the first RS that i went to (before switching to my new, far nicer - and cheaper one!) on my first ever lesson, i was made to feel like a complete intruder! as i drove through the yard to park my car, i was stared at as though i had no right to be there. then, when i went to find the office (which i had been told was clearly sign posted - lie!) somebody came out of a stable and said "why are you hanging around here?", so i explained that i was here for a lesson, and i was told, "wait here, your instructor will come and get you!" ...... 5 minutes after my lesson was supposed to start, no sign of instructor! same woman comes up to me and says "your lesson started 5 minutes ago. they're waiting for you in the school!" i was like FAB! so i went to the school, and was like "i have no hat!" huffs and puffs and tuts all round! the hat i was given started to slip off as i was put into trot as i was being led around like a child on a blackpool pleasure beach donkey! it actually came down to my nose when i had to tell the RI to stop and let me lift it up so that i could see! stupid arse!

    so i found somewhere closer to home, cheaper, and ran by a man who not only taught my aunt to ride when she was 13, but knows my boss! everyone there is lovely, really hospitable, and they work at your pace! plus, they give student discounts!

    oh, and i got confused when one RI was telling me to bring my O/S rein in while i'm turning, when the next one was telling me to keep it completely still! now i only listen to my RI, and i also watch my friends who have been riding for years! that's how i managed to get rising trot on my first attempt!

    GGGGRRRRRRRR at that horrible person! she shouldn't be a teacher if she is going to be a bitch! and please don't stop riding! you obviously enjoy it! don't let one silly person dampen your spirit!
  18. Nazdaq

    Nazdaq Banned

    My love of actually riding and horses is not dampened, but I don't love lessons at the moment and don't really want to go back there! There is no-where else really for me to ride, and if I wait until summer and ride down south (Essex/Hertfordshire border) then it will cost waaaaaay more then it does now and I couldn't afford it! I am going with my parents for moral support on April 5th, they want to try this riding lark, so I booked a lesson at...yes you guessed it, the RS I was talking about in the above posts! Hopefully we won't get the nasty lady, but if we do (as it is pot luck as to who you get) I can hopefully ignore her as she will have her hands full being nice to my parents! :p :D

    P.S: I also have been led round like a little kid, when I went for a lesson with an independant RI (she has this little yard....) and I had been riding 5 months at the time! :eek: :eek: made me feel really stupid! :rolleyes:
  19. kiwigirl

    kiwigirl New Member

    She sounds horrible! I reckon if I was treated like that in a lesson I would want to stop right then and there and go home. For me that sort of treatment would do nothing for my confidence and this is something we all need when riding.

    I have found with some instructors they can get a bit impatient or seem frustrated if you are not getting something. I wonder how much training in teaching they actually have. Its one thing ot be a good rider but to actually teach it is a different skill altogether. I teach nurses and there would be no way I would treat them as some riding instructors treat me. Anyway I think I might start a new thread on this so everyone can tells us why they like their instructor.

    Like you I can have a different instructor each week. But have found a one I click with who works Fridays so try and go then and she trys to have me in her lesson.

    But keep it all in perspective as after your last thread you were glowing after a great lesson. I have totally had crap lessons and great lessons. So don't give up! But if your confidence is knocked with this person you need to be with someone else for a while until you get it back - well thats would I would do.

    In fact when I first started riding I had an instructor that wasn't a clear teacher and gave little positive feeback and generally made me feel like I was slow to progress compared to my friend. Changed instructors and it was amazing - left the yard buzzing!
  20. KarinUS

    KarinUS Active Member

    Don't go back there. No way would I give them any of my money to insult me.
    But definitely don't give up riding because of this cow! Can you find a different place to ride at?

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