God, my riding is the worst! Everyone says that I look fine, but when I trot I feel like I'm flapping everywhere and I have just started canter, (I am way behind everyone else in my group anyways they all cantered ages ago!) and I had a different RI today, and she was really mean, saying I am unfit, saying that if I had cramp or was in pain I wasn't allowed to stop and also not being accomodating about me being deaf in my left ear! We were on a left rein, The lead file was cantering round, rest of us in walk. Girl in canter was doing a circle in front of the ride, RI says stop to me, but because we are on a left rein down the other end of the school I thought she said trot! She kept yelling stop at me, and I kept thinking she was saying trot. When I finally got it and pulled pony up, (by this time right next to RI! ) she said to me, "Well you have to look at me!" Grrr, how am I supposed to look at her and keep on the outside track, as I look where I am going, if I look at her I will come off the track! Also am short-sighted, so can't see her lips from the other bloody end of the school in order to lip read! (I do lip read, but she doesn't know that and she can't expect me to do it when I am bloody concentrating on riding!) She basically kicked me out of the group at the end of the lesson, saying that I should have a private lesson. I have booked a private lesson at the same time as the group, next Thursday, but I am really tempted to just cancel it and give up altogether until I ride with my parents! I am overweight and a bit unfit, but pointing that out to EVERYONE in the damn group in the middle of the lesson is not on! And what's worse is this is the OWNER of the riding school! And I can't go riding anywhere else, as the only other place in the area is the RI that I went to once. She is a lovely teacher, but I don't fancy learning to canter on hacks, and doing manuvers in her small yard opposite a main road where you can hear the cars whizzing past - I am lacking confidence enough as it is! Having typed all this out, I am sat here crying; I just want to give up, but I know if I do that then I will have even less confidence and will never ride again. I love the horses and riding when people aren't shouting at me and just leave me to learn at my own pace! I don't know what to do, please help!