HELP! i have two horrible habits!

[EventPony]

Ok: first bad habit: when I ride, I rely way too much on my hands to control maya. I end up pulling on her mouth to stop her b/c she doesnt listen to my seat , and i think that is b/c i use my hands too much! (plus, shes a very spunky pony, even tho she's 20, and doesnt like to stop!) How can I teach maya to listen to my seat and legs (we also have a bending problem) while at teh same time teaching myself not to use my hands so much??

Second bad habit: My instructor told me that to get maya on the bit i should gently keep tapping maya w/ my heels while at the same time "sponging" w/ my outside rein. it worked, but as time has gone by i have started using my rein a lot harder then just a sponge...so much so that I can see maya's head tilt back adn forth. I try to softly sponge, but it seems as tho she doesnt listen to just that. How can i stop?? also...is it ok to just use one rein to "sponge" no matter wut direction im goin in? b/c it uncomfortable for me to use my right rein. thanks!

[Mehitabel]

have you had lessons in how to use your seat most effectively? close your eyes as you're riding round, and feel the muscles that move as you go with the pony's movement. you can control these muscles and how fast they move. if you resist with them, by holding with your thighs and resisting with your stomach muscles, the pony will slow down. if you look where you want to go by turning your head, use your inside seatbone by tensing the muscle that connects your bottom and the back of your leg, bring your inside shoulder up and back, and use your outside leg behind the girth, the pony will turn. your instructor should be able to help with this better, as she/he'll be able to give you advice more specific to your position. once you've got the hang of it, try riding without reins.
bringing a horse onto the bit is much more about asking it to work from behind and use it's back legs more efficiently. ideally, you should be able to bring the horse onto the bit without using any rein at all. exercises like leg yielding and spiraling circles are good for this. by using your reins too much, you're bringing the pony's nose in, but that doesn't mean she's on the bit.