Ho-Hum Instructor -- what to do?

[Debutante]

Here is my dilemmaÉ
I have been taking lessons for several months with an instructor who is VERY knowledgeable about riding but pretty lacklustre about teaching. Lately, he drives me insane by socializing with visitors who come right into the arena DURING MY LESSONS!!! :eek: While IÕm up there doing endless sitting trot (ouch!) or posting trot, or even attempting to canter correctly, heÕs yapping away with the kiddies whose lessons will follow about which horse theyÕll ride, the latest broodmare in town, a show he competed in, his favourite jodhs, or the weather. :mad::mad::mad:
Obviously, I feel IÕm not getting my moneyÕs worth but I donÕt know how to raise the issue tactfully without sounding like a Prima Donna and a big Whiner and setting up Ôbad vibesÕ between us forever more. After all, I do learn quite a bit from him on the ÔgoodÕ days as I see him at least weeklyÉbut IÕm getting more and more bitter. :mad: I'm especially interested in hearing the points of view of other riding instructors about this; is this 'normal'?! What am to do? Go somewhere else?

Cheers,
Debutante
;)

[CrazyfurAnimals]

Oh, I feel so bad for you! :(

Some instructors can be REALLY good riders, but not-so-good teachers. Like, there could be an olympic medalist, and you could say to yourself, "I wish I could have him/her as my instructor!". But just because they are good riders, that doesn't make them good teachers.

My instructor did the same thing. She would start talking with all the workers at the barn, and I found it sooooo annoying! I was kind of like, "hey, I'm paying for your time, and your off talking to everyone like you don't care!". I got kind of upset, so I ended up talking to her. She clearly understood, and tries to stay centered on me now. So give your instructor a talk (nice and peacefully), but if that doesn't change anything I would consider other places to ride. Theres no sense in staying somewhere where the instructor doesn't pay attention to what your doing.

Good luck!
Sarah

[lamprellsarah]

no this isn't fair to you!!
speak to her tactfully, explain that you want to have her attention, as you don't know what you are doing thats why you are there to learn, not to just be left to your own accord!!
i am sure that she will undestand properly doesn't even realise she's doing it.
if she does get annoyed, and frustrated i would look eslewhere you don't want an instrauctor like that!!

[kedwards]

As everyone else said, you're paying for the time, you deserve to have your instructor's attention. If you really like the instructor, have a talk with him. Still, if he's as lackluster as you say, the chatting is probably not the only problem.

[FreedomStar]

I suggest that you talk to him, or leave a note for him, or something. He has to understand that he's doing something wrong, and if he doesn't figure that out soon, he won't know till it's too late. If this problem doesn't stop soon, then try switching instructors, or riding at a different stable.

[senjj]

Can you not change instructors. There's enough good nice one's out there to not stick with someone who isn't interested.

[Heather]

Don't put up with it!! It is so incredibly rude of instructors to behave in this totally unprofessional way. Don't for one minute think that you are being a prima donna- it is he who is being that!

I know of a couple of top dressage trainers who have a portable or mobile phone in the school whilst teaching, which is a disgrace.

You are paying this guy money to teach you not to chat to his cronies. Give him a good verbal kick up the ........ - and if he doesn't like it, vote with your feet!


Heather

[Wally]

How dare he, time how long he chats, the second he stops teaching you time him, START THAT CLOCK!! then when you come to pay knock off the time he spent jawing to his friends.

It it so unprofessional, rude and inconsiderate.

Do as Heather says, vote with your feet and your purse.

If someone has booked a private lesson with us we don't even allow the next folk to watch while they wait for their lesson to start. Private means private and 100% attention on the rider and horse.

[Debutante]

To all who replied to my dilemma, thank you VERY much for your insights and advice. Most of all, thanks for reassuring me that the problem wasnÕt just me being a spoiled brat. :)
Interestingly, since I submitted that post, I have gone for two private lessons at another well-respected school near my home. WHAT a difference!!! I canÕt tell you how encouraged I am by what IÕve found Ð an instructor who is incredibly knowledgeable and sensitive to my being an adult, somewhat-nervous rider. She knows exactly how hard to ÔpushÕ me, and believe it or not, sheÕs willing to actually get ON the horse to demonstrate some particular technique. She constantly asks me what my goals are and on top of all that, she dearly loves her horses, protects them, and embraces all the ÔEnlightened EquitationÕ ideas pioneered by Heather. Now is that GREAT NEWS or what?! :D I feel like IÕve died and gone to heaven. The only Ôdown sideÕ is that this barn will only allow private lessons to go on for a limited period of time then **POOF** -- all students must be assigned to a Ôgroup classÕ. I don't know if this is a 'standard practice' everywhere. WeÕll see how that goes. :(
This weekend I plan to discuss my concerns with the ÔchattyÕ instructor at the old place, and will probably still stick with some sort of lessons there Ð but only if things improve. :mad: After all, as I mentioned I did learn a great deal from this fellow, and itÕs more time in the saddle which counts for a lot at the moment.
Again, thank you all for your advice and comments. I REALLY appreciate it!

Cheers,
Debutante :p

[cvb]

..brick

If you can't face the direct approach but still want to work with this instructor, then ..

One way to deal with this is that every time he starts getting distracted, you come to a halt by him and wait, eagerly and expectantly, for his next word. If he ignores you, then make sure your horse gradually encrouches on his personal space - breathing down his neck or standing on a foot if necessary :D

Actions speak louder than words. At the very least he will have to acknowledge you are there. If he looks at you quizicaly or asks why you have stopped, you could say something like "well we appeared to have finished that exercise so I wondered what you wanted me to work on next". i.e. that him losing focus signalled the end of the exercise for you.

If he makes the decision to carry on with whatever other distraction, then he's probably thick skinned enough to go for the direct approach without worrying !

He appears to be relying on the fact that you carry on by yourself to allow him to wander off mentally - by NOT carrying on, he has to focus back again.

[kedwards]

CVB, I was genuinely laughing aloud reading your post. The image of pulling the horse right up to the instructor and literally breathing on his neck was precious. Passive agressive, I suppose, but very funny!

And Debutante, I'm glad you found greener pastures elsewhere.

[CrazyfurAnimals]

Debutante----I'm so glad that your lesson went good. Isn't it great when you can get good lessons? :) You could always go one week to one barn, one week to the other, and sort of compare which one you like best. :)