I have my beautiful baby but can't ever imagine having the time for a horse! [Archive]

Mary Poppins

23rd Feb 2007, 05:23 PM

I am very pleased to share with everyone on NR that I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy on Friday 2nd February. I can't believe that he is already 3 whole weeks old. To cut a very long story short, I had a very complicated birth which resulted in an emergency c-section, a 14 day stay in hospital with my baby in intensive care for the first week of his life. However, we are now both mended and enjoying life at home. He is a very placid baby apart from a few hours in the evening where he shows us how loud his lungs are, but he pretty much sleeps through the night and has the most beautiful eyes and cheeky face.

I can't drive for another 3 weeks or ride for another 2 months so anything horsery immediately is out of the question, especially as the yard is a 25 minute drive away. The problem is that I never realised just quite how attached I would be to my baby and I just can't imagine leaving him for a second, yet alone a few hours to go horse riding. When he was in hospital I couldn't even hold him for the first 3 days as he was too ill and I have been told that this has probably contributed to my overprotectiveness towards him, or maybe this is how everyone feels. I feel that I have entered a whole new world - previously all my conversations were about horses at the yard - now I spend hours talking to other new mums about baby colic and going to baby groups etc.

Its funny how things change. Someday I will get my much longed for pony, but for the time being I am just going to enjoy being a mum looking after my baby. I do miss my loan horses but know that they are being looked after just fine. I wil probably end up getting my son a pony before I get my own!

Cool Rider

23rd Feb 2007, 05:25 PM

Congrats :D

Bay Mare

23rd Feb 2007, 05:26 PM

MP - HUMUNGOUS CONGRATULATIONS :D

I hope that you're ok and don't worry, you'll soon be able to start looking at shetlands for Baby MP :D

Teehee

23rd Feb 2007, 05:29 PM

Congratulations on your new born son!!! :)

As for the horse... I imagine that in time... once you're fully recuperated... and have your routines down packed... There might even be some time for a bit of horse visiting now & then!!! :)

evilgiraffe

23rd Feb 2007, 05:32 PM

Yay Baby Poppins! Congrats to you and Mr Poppins! Does he have a name yet? Have you got any photos you're willing to share? :o

laura jeanne

23rd Feb 2007, 05:42 PM

oooohhhh, congratulations!!!

I'm looking forward to my new grandson in May and have been going slightly mad in the baby stores (I call them grandma stores).

Babies are pretty all-consuming at first so just indulge yourself!

Skib

23rd Feb 2007, 05:55 PM

Mary Poppin, I am so very glad to hear your news and that all is now well.
What a worry for you all.
Dont blame yourself for the attachment. Motherhood takes many of us that way, even when we had problem free natural births. And babies are designed to monopolise our attention. Their survival depends on it. (The human version of natural horsemanship).
As for your own horse, it may not be postponed as long as you fear? A year from now you may well feel ready for something for you again?
My daughters have been quite ready to go back to work and use their minds again and reclaim their lives after 5-6 months at home. So when summer comes I can picture your being tempted back into the saddle for a ride. Just to keep your horsemanship going and be in the fresh air.

NoviceNic

23rd Feb 2007, 05:59 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boy....:) Dont get me wrong I love my kids and my daughter spends every waking moment with me still 9 years on. But to be a full time dependant Mum with a baby clinging to me. Never ever again......:p :o

Lgd

23rd Feb 2007, 06:13 PM

Congratulations on the new arrival.

Little Dolphins

23rd Feb 2007, 06:21 PM

Hearty congratulations, MP!

There's nothing that prepares you for the amazing feeling of holding your very own child.
I love my HQ and would walk a million miles for her (and I nearly have:D), but for my sons I'd run.

Enjoy life as it unfolds and you will get more horsey times when you're able to cope with them!

Bobbin

23rd Feb 2007, 06:29 PM

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So nice to hear from you!!

So whats your little boy called then? Vital stats please weight etc?

millie n pride

23rd Feb 2007, 07:44 PM

Congratulations :D :D

domane

23rd Feb 2007, 07:51 PM

Congratulations! Sounds like you have both been through some tough times. Mother nature has programmed you to be interested in nothing but your newborn at the mo... and that's how it should be :D As your son gets older your feelings will adjust and alter.... at the moment you are in no physical position to be with horses either.... concentrate on your son and enjoy... the time passes TOOO quickly!!! :D

Stella2

23rd Feb 2007, 07:51 PM

Congratulations, so glad to hear that you are both well and happy :)

sheryl

23rd Feb 2007, 08:08 PM

CONGRATULATIONS!! Glad your baby is well now:) .
Sounds like you had a similar experience of child birth, to me:eek: . Luckily for me though, my baby was atleast well at the end of it.
I also had an emergency ceasarian. Its amazing how quickly you heal though. I was back in the saddle after 5 weeks, and I was fine, once in the saddle;)

If you don't fancy riding though, thats fine.
You may find eventually, you need some space occasionally, and riding is a real good chance to chill out.

In the meantime, enjoy your baby, they're not small for long:)

kianjoseph

23rd Feb 2007, 08:21 PM

Congratulations, what lovely news - and I'm glad you got through the initial problems well. :D :D

I was exactly the same when my youngest was born, and actually used to take him all wrapped up in his little car seat to my riding lessons. My RI though I was mad, but used to insist that I sat him behind the gate just in case - I'm sure that's sparked his aversion to riding lessons now.. :D :rolleyes:

As he gets older and more confident, so will you and you'll be glad of a 'healthy' hobby. I don't think I'll ever stop being ridiculously over protective, but I have got used to trusting other people with them.

In the mean time, enjoy him as much as you can, because like somebody else said earlier, they grow so fast and it goes so quickly. :D :D

Congrats again, and when you have time to get to your computer, in between feeds and changes, you must tell us his name, weight, piccies etc. :)

KarinUS

23rd Feb 2007, 08:25 PM

Congrats!
:)
I guess that's one real positive thing about loaning instead of owning. You can take as long a break as you wish. ;)

I don't think I know a single baby that really sleeps through the night. My son just turned 9 months old and he still nurses at least once or twice during the night!
Time flies though and maybe in half a year you will a little less overwhelmed by it all.
Glad you and your son are doing well now. :)

Chinarider

24th Feb 2007, 08:23 AM

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy :D

Before you know it , he will be off to school, his sibling in playschool, and youll be back on a horse !!

Enjoy....

Tots N Dots

24th Feb 2007, 08:38 AM

:D CONGRATULATIONS :D
My youngest was poorly from birth and I was very over protective of her :D
they are both at school now and I love it, everyone is different, but I am sure you will find that after a while when you have an A level in jibberish you will maybe start to crave some adult down time, having just had half term here, the fact my friends 15 year old kept stealing my kids was wonderfull :D I could play with Pickle :D

nutkin

24th Feb 2007, 08:54 AM

congratulations on the birth of your son.Enjoy the early days with your baby.They really do grow up so fast.There is no rush to get back to riding and don't let anyone make you feel you should be taking time away from your baby to be with the horses.It is natural to feel you want to be with your baby and not leave him at this stage and I'm sure as time goes on you will welcome a break to be able to go and ride,but whether that is within a few weeks or even a few years its your choice and you should only do it when you feel ready.

Mary Poppins

24th Feb 2007, 09:16 AM

Thank you everyone for your kind words - they really are appreciated. There were some advantages to being in intensive care in that the hospital got my son on a solid 4 hour routine which we have continued to follow at home. That means that he wakes like clockwork for his 3am feed and goes to sleep for the rest of the night which is great. The reason we both ended up so ill was due to my pre-eclamsia which meant that my placenta failed and there was a lack of fluid around him when he was inside me. When he was born he was really weak with dangerously low blood sugar levels so had to be wired up on loads of drips etc. I am so grateful to the hospital for saving his life (and probably mine as well).

My husband doesn't want me to post too many details about him and won't let me put pictures up - we really are overprotective. However, I can say that he was 6 pounds 5 at birth - which wasn't bad for 38 weeks considering the problems we had. On Wednesday he was 6 pounds 15 and is continuing to gain weight fast. He is a long baby and is fast growing out of his newborn clothes - I am only 5 foot 2 so he will be towering above me at some point. He is still suffering from jaunice at the moment which is another problem that we are trying to get to the bottom of, so he has a suntanned look about him. He has beautiful blue eyes and I think that his hair will be very blond just like his mum and dad.

I could go on forever, but I guess I need to remember that this is a horse forum and not a baby one! I also have the mother in law coming round this morning so had better go and prepare!! All is not lost on the horsey front as last night I spent a good few hours looking through horsemart and other internet sites at potential horses. The bug is still there, it is just on hold for a while!

Thanks again for all your comments.

Bronya

24th Feb 2007, 10:09 AM

Congratulations!!!!

Roseanne

24th Feb 2007, 12:38 PM

Congratulations Mary Poppins, and to your husband! :)

It's natural to feel as you do-having a baby-two actually, were the best things to happen to me in my life. There were many happy times and hillarity as they grew and changed. I thought mine were the best in the world, naturally, the most intelligent, the brightest, the most beautiful, and I loved them to bits!

Have a wonderful life with your baby boy both of you:

Roseanne :) :) :) xxxxxxxxxx

greeneyes13

24th Feb 2007, 01:36 PM

Congratulations Mary Poppins!!

Mary Poppins seems like a very apt name now doesnt it! :)

Ginger Thing

24th Feb 2007, 01:55 PM

CONGRATULATIONS!!:D :D

Glad you're both home safe and well.

And to think you were saying 'my husband can look after him while I ride' - wouldn't be able to tear yourself away long enough would you ;) :D

But how nice when he's older and you can both ride together, I love to see Mums riding with child's pony on a lead rein, so cute.

I'm sure you'll soon be back into horses but enjoy the break from them while it lasts...no mucking out, no straw or hay in your hair, no horse slobber on your clothes......oh, doesn't sound much different from changing nappies and baby sick, never mind :D

pengapenga

24th Feb 2007, 10:59 PM

Congratulations on the birth of your son. Glad all turned ok in the end. It is normal to feel overprotective with your kids - even when they 14 & 12 much to thier digust:)

I took a 12year break from horses because of babies:D but I am back and really enjoy being with my horses and my daughter and I spend some great times together with the horses:D

Ptaty70

24th Feb 2007, 11:12 PM

Congratulations! I am pleased everything worked out for you, it must have been a very worrying time, no wonder you are protective! A friend of mine went through a similar experience and it's flipping scarey just for those of us on the sidelines!

Don't make any decisions re horses yet. You may well find down the line that having something else to occupy your time instead of your son may be a nice release (in the nicest and healthiest sense), something for you.

A friend at the stables has a 15 month old son. She got her horse back off the loaner about 3 months ago and has certainly found it difficult but has loved coming out on rides. They only gave pleasure though if everything was okay at home.. if her son was a little off-colour it changed the whole ride, she was tense and the horse acted up. Best to just groom in those circumstances!!

I think that in about 12 months you can properly think about what you want to do re horses. It could be that you take a break until he's a little older, but I do firmly believe that going to the stables can relax you and it's nice to spend time just grooming a horse. You will have to separate yourself from your son at some point, so why not spend that time with another being that needs your nurture and support.

Take your time and make the right decision for you.

colettybetty

25th Feb 2007, 05:47 AM

Congratulations ! So glad everything is now ok, sounds like he made a pretty dramatic entrance into the world, thank goodness for the skill of the doctors and nurses.
Your feelings of protectiveness are sooo natural, I couldn't bear to leave any of my six (yes, silly me !) when they were babies.They grow so quickly, that its only a short time that they are so dependant, although I'm still trying to wean my 25 yr old :D :D
I doubt your love of horses has changed at all, its just that you've joined the secret world of motherhood which is a pretty profound experience - all that overwhelming love for your tiny boy. Enjoy this special time with your husband and son, and when you're ready, I bet you'll be yearning for the lovely smell of horses too and the quietness of being out in the fresh air again while your lovely OH takes sole charge.
Your name Mary Poppins was quite prophetic, wasn't it !

BeachRiding

25th Feb 2007, 06:18 AM

Congrats!!!

horse_converted

25th Feb 2007, 07:25 AM

Congratulations!! Glad to hear that everything is good with you and bub. :D

Imp

3rd Mar 2007, 06:42 PM

A rather belated congratulations from me too MP :D

There's nothing like the joy of a much wanted baby and nothing can prepare you for the feelings and strength of bonding you feel, even though you may have been reading about it for months :)

The horses will come, they always do ;)

mu0ljk

3rd Mar 2007, 06:53 PM

Congratulations!! Glad to hear you are doing okay!

:)

Esther.D

3rd Mar 2007, 07:08 PM

First - HUGE CONGRATULATIONS :) And I'm not surprised after such a traumatic time you feel you can't leave him. Don't judge yourself - you will come back to having your own horse when and if you feel the time is right. Beth is becoming a real horsey little girl and already has her own saddle to ride the Shetlands but she does limit our horsey activities a bit, things do change when you have a baby.

Congrats!
I don't think I know a single baby that really sleeps through the night. My son just turned 9 months old and he still nurses at least once or twice during the night!

Beth slept through for the first time at 8 months - so maybe not long now for Duncan :) She just suddenly decided one night that she didn't need a feed and that was it...she has slept through ever since (coming up 15 months now).

Mary Poppins

5th Mar 2007, 08:29 AM

Thanks everyone. I can't believe how quickly time is passing - he is 4 and a half weeks old already, and it is 6 weeks since I have been to the yard. My horses are just fine but I am starting to itch to get to the yard - I just wish that it wasn't a 25 minute drive away (as I can't drive for another 2 weeks!). Being a mother is the most fantastic experience - I haven't slept all night, the house is a total mess but every time I look at my little boy it is all worth it. It is scarey that we are now planning when to have number 2 - but not for a few years.

My doctor recommended that I take at least a couple of months out before I ride again, she said that my abdominal muscles had been cut through during the c-section and I have to give them time to join together and tone them up again before I get on a horse. Just as well really as I am 3 stone overweight now and would faint after 5 minutes walking!

Skib

5th Mar 2007, 09:11 AM

Very sensible advice Mary Poppins. My daughter is an obstetrician. Sjhe explained to someone else on NR, that it isnt getting on the horse and walking that is the danger.
But, as with driving a car, it is the risk of having to use your arms and back strongly in any emergency that might come up controlling a horse. That stresses the abdominal muscles. So you want to be absolutely sure that they have knit together again properly before you risk exposing the join to any strain?
Not because fussy doctors say so, but because it is in our own interest. We riders need to use our abdominal muslces when riding. So we want them well healed and back in shape.
O yes and she added that in any preganancy the abdominal muscles part to make room for the baby, and need time to come together again. So it is not just after a caesarian that one should take care.

Glad that you are hankering after the yard. And feeling better. Please keep posting.

Lucyad

5th Mar 2007, 12:11 PM

Congratulations! Give yourself some time and I'm sure that you will get back into the swing of things - in fact you will be dying for some time to yourself!

appaloosahoney

6th Mar 2007, 06:13 PM

Esther.D

6th Mar 2007, 06:59 PM

Mary Poppins

7th Mar 2007, 05:42 AM

Massive congratulations!!! I had a very similar situation to yours and we spent the next year after the birth going back for operations (hers). All I can say is dont push yourself, you cant be all things to everyone. In time everything falls back into place, and now although where my little girl walks there is sunshine, I find that now riding is my time and slowly you are able to allow them to be with others such as hubby and grandparents who also get great joy from them. Best of luck, treat yourself gently, these things go deep, and whilst you may wish to prove to everyone that you are back on top form and coping well, you need time to recover both physically and mentally from this.
xx

Thanks for that very good advice. If I am honest I do think that this whole experience has had a profound emotional effect on me. I do try to prove to everyone that I am coping and I am most of the time, but every time I have to take my baby back to the hosptial (weekly at the moment) it really breaks my heart to see the doctors take blood tests etc. My main problem at the moment is that I stay awake almost all the time to watch him. He is a very good sleeper, most of the time he feeds well but I worry about him so much I just can't get any sleep myself. Hopefully this will improve in time or I really will be a permanent walking zombie!

Mary Poppins

7th Mar 2007, 05:51 AM

I rode again at 7 weeks after a section but it was 10 min on a very sensible cob in an arena and my scar had surprised everyone by how fast it healed and how fast I recovered so I was given the ok HOWEVER I didn't ride until it had ceased to feel tender and pull, while it was still like that I stayed firmly on the ground!

Take your time and see what you feel like :) but the couple of months seems a sensible margin. 15 months after my section sadly my stomach muscle still aren't what they used to be..

I never had a very good stomach to start with! The whole area just feels very numb and if I apply pressure it feels tender. When walking in the rain on Sunday I jumped over a puddle and really felt a pull so I know that I am not ready yet. My weight is the other issue - whoever said that breastfeeding made the weight drop off was lying!

nfamber

7th Mar 2007, 08:44 AM

http://www.simply-baby.net/forum/images/smilies/strollerboy.gifCongratulations!!!http://www.simply-baby.net/forum/images/smilies/strollerboy.gif

Esther.D

7th Mar 2007, 01:46 PM

While it is still pulling I'd stay clear of the riding. Half my stomach is still numb 15 months on I'm afraid...Mine was never flat either, and like you I had a lot of weight gain to contend with. However on a positive note, now that I am on thyroxin for my PND that turned out to be an underactive thyriod :rolleyes: I have finally got down to my early pregnancy weight although a lot floppier.

Rollestone

8th Mar 2007, 05:57 AM

I have 2 young daughters (2 & 1) and have had to accept that I am going to have to put riding on the backburner for a year or so - I just don't have the time!

I had natural births and was back in the saddle after a week with my second but soon realised that I don't have the time to keep my horse fit and in work! So he's enjoying being a pasture ornament for a bit...

Dawn_connie

13th Mar 2007, 10:36 PM

Congratulations mary poppins!

I had my big emergency c setion drama almost 2 years ago (pre-ecclampsia like you, led on to placentral abruption) Again, my baby was 1 week in intensive care then another week in SCBU. I was in intensive care for 3 days so didnt meet him till day 4!!!

Keep doing the silly pelvic floor excersizes they give you, they do actually work... eventually....

I tried riding a year after he was born and managed ok, except getting off! I have to dismount (still) at a wall because it is agony swinging my leg over to dismount, whether it was the c section or as a result of mild SPD I dont know.

Appart from that, I can say im all healed up. And over-protective of baby too! (hes not a toddler, hes my BABY!). Though, he has mild CP and I can say that I am GLAD of some time out!!!

enjoy him very much, pretty soon he will be demanding 'biks' and throwing toys at you while climbing up on tables and not wanting you to help him at all, terrible twos... wait till they hit 3, thats even more fun!

Dawn_connie

13th Mar 2007, 10:37 PM

I have finally got down to my early pregnancy weight although a lot floppier.

Amen to the floppy bits!!!! :D

Skib

14th Mar 2007, 08:12 AM

For Dawn
I tried riding a year after he was born and managed OK, except getting off! I have to dismount (still) at a wall because it is agony swinging my leg over to dismount, whether it was the c section or as a result of mild SPD I don't know.

Have you seen the other threads on dismounting problems? You are not the only one - though in my case the cause was spinal degeneration, not childbirth.
My first thought (from my experience) is that if it hurts, don't even attempt it. Pain is a warning. On the rare occasions when I have made an effort because an RI has not understood, I have suffered afterwards.

However, I don't need a wall or mounting block to dismount. But use the stirrup as a substitute. Have you tried the cavalry dismount keeping your left foot in the stirrup as you bring the right leg over? You need to support your weight on that left leg, keeping it straight so that you are standing to attention on the left side of the horse. Then put your hands on the saddle to take your weight, release your left foot from the stirrup and drop to the ground (gently) with knees and ankles relaxed to absorb the impact.

I was taught this by my first teacher as something used in RDA, and without it I wouldnt be able to ride. But when re-reading the original edition of Jill's Gymkhana the other day I saw to my surprise that her teacher had ticked her off for dismounting sloppily by freeing both feet from the stirrups (the accepted modern way) and taught her the way I use instead.

In the days when there were quite a few other oaps in the Mature section we would share this information and it made a difference to a lot of people.