My friend seems to be jelous

[Beck]

romngggg

[CurlyWurlyRach]

firstly - congratulations! hope the loan works out!

Do you help with her horse or anything now? she might like being 'the friend with the horse' and feel that you getting a horse would take some attention away from her. is she happy with her horse? she might like the one you might be getting more.

[sheryl]

Yes, your friend (so called) should be happy for you, but you will always get people like this in life, so unfortunately we just have to accept it, and get on with enjoying your own life;)

Hope the loan works out. Good luck:)

[Beck]

;lol

[vannroy]

One thing i have learned in the last year is the red ball.
If someone has a problem then it is their's and not yours.

Imagine a red ball with a whole in it, put their problem in the ball, then roll it back to them.

I know it sounds mad but it works

[puzzles]

i'm fully ashamed to admit that i am quite a jealous and prossessive person over some things. I truly love my friends as though they are family, but this 'jealousy' only really goes for my best friend Charlotte who I have 'had to myself' for the past 5 years. now that she has made up with a friend who used to be incredibly horrible to her, and another friend (who is lovely) has moved just up the street (we both live next door to each other) i feel threatened and terrified that my security will disappear should she prefer to spend time with them instead of me).
We have been inseperable and are very alike yet so different because she is extremely attractive and constantly has boy attention (which I envy, naturally, as i myself have very low self esteem and confidence, the very opposite of her). So when she got her 1st proper boyfriend i was like an overprotective parent! i knew it was wrong and i tried to act happy for her and things, but i just couldn't accept it - how stupid and pathetic is that?! i'm a bit better now but that monster still lurks inside of me because, really, Charlotte is everything I'm not and what i fear i never will be.
anyway, getting nearer to the point ;-) I think that your friend may (like me) feel a bit threatened by your coming to 'her' yard. it sounds silly i know but she may be confused as to how to feel about this because she knows it's daft but can't help feeling this way. she may feel that you threaten her authority and may 'take over' the yard, be liked more than she is by others, do better than she is . . . perhaps she is ashamed of something and tries, in your presence, to appear confident and carefree and good at things only to, underneath it all, be rather ordinary and not quite who you think she is/ not as good as you. she could also fear that you won'yt like her this way and you'll grow apart/replace her with others should you prefer them over her.
people do get possessive over what they consider to be 'theirs' - 2 iof my closest friends admitted this when i was considering moving to their different riding schools as they wanted me, in a way, 'in my place'.
do you see?
be assertive and not passive or dominanting when you move. give your friend lots of attention and, though it may be attempting to distance yourself from her both physically and mentally, just be yourself and give her time to re- adjust, which she will eventually. accept that your friend may be feeling a bit off with you at first and be careful not to 'step over the line' as you weill want to stay in her good books i'm sure.
this may sound very stupid and complicated but it will all work out in the end - perhaps suggest that you porganise something together, like a pub ride or group together to hire a box to take you for an early morning
beach ride or something? as well as some things for just the two of you - picnic hacks, etc. asking her advice on something will make her feel valued.

good luck!

:-)

[puzzles]

all throw stones at me :-/

[Beck]

dunno

[puzzles]

hmmm, well i hope it goes ok for you hun because she has no right to treat you that way and i'm interested to know why. she should settle down but could you try talking to these other peeps to find out why she's acting like this? good luck and i hope it all goes well for you. even i wasn't like that! :-)
would a true friend honestly deliberately try to make you feel this way?

[Beck]

oh i dont know!

[Beck]

This is a joke

[LongShot]

hmm sounds like a tough possition... All I can say is try not to really talk to her if all she has to say is negative comments back. You said you know the other boarder at the barn, so you shouldn't feel outcasted while at the farm. When your horse comes she'll most likely either ignore you or try to act all buddy-buddy or something. Sometimes a friend at my barn gets a bit upset when she does bad in a lesson on her older horse (about 16) and starts to complain about how I came to the barn and got a lease on a my horse (who's 6). You can't really change that you're grtting a horse just for a friend and you can't really change the way your friend's reacting so you might want to confront your friend in a nonchildish way and be like 'look, lately you've been acting a bit rude to me and I'm not completely sure but what ever it is I can't really change it if you're goiong to act all childish about it so what's bothering you?' Don't get rude back to her because that'll be going down to her level of thinking

Hope the lease works out and remember your horse will be you're best friend ;)

[puzzles]

that's a good point, ditto.
be strong and assertive and don't let her put you down - you're worth far more than that and this can go on no longer! Stand up for yourself and try not to seep into passive or aggressive mode - regardless of how she is.
Do your best not to give her a reason to act how she is by reacting to her (rather pathetic) rude and unnecessary comments.
Overall, confront her and tell her how you are feeling, why and what you want to do about it. Then you will be giving her the option of accepting the change of you getting your new horse and getting on with each other again, or being the bitter and angryperson she is now. Give her every chance to reform and think, and try to stay on friendly terms with her (or even better be 'neutral' and don't say much at all). Then the choice is hers.

Good luck, fingers crossed!

:-)

[catwoman]

just take jealousy as a form of flattery, your loan horse is obviously going to be great! :)

good luck with it xx