Riding once a week..... can anyone help me get better?

[funkyfilly_sos]

I hope you can! :o
Thanks for clicking on this, I havent asked many questions in a while so I hope this one can be answered. :)

I ride once a week in a very advanced group (the most advanced of my school) where we jump, hack out, do lateral work, and basic schooling of the horse. However yesterday I watched my best horsey friend ride. She was amazing.
She was schooling a Connemara gelding and whs doing a lot of progressive transitions (hault to canter, walk to canter etc) and I was speechless at the things she can actually do with that horse.
I struggle to bearly keep a horse on the bit and in an outline, but she kept him in one the whole way through. She truley was amazing.

She's 16 years old and has been riding for nine years, so thats what you would expect. The problem is, I'm 14 years old and have ridden for 10 years yet I'm no where near as good as her. I've thought hard about this, and I know that she has been lucky enough to have other peoples horses to ride (although she has never owned a horse herself), is best friends with my Riding Instructor, plus my YO allows her to ride and school the school ponies free of charge plus she helps out at my RS every day of the week. Additionally, she has been able to compete some of the RS horses and has had proffesional dressage training from my YO and RI. I suppose she was in the right places at the right time and knows the right people.
However in my 10 years of riding I have only had a lesson a week and I've only just started helping out at my RS (due to the age restriction of 13yrs minium) plus I spent 2 years on the lead rein due to my young age when I started (4 yrs). So these are my reasons for not beign at her level. Me and her are uncomparable in ability yet I really have more experience. How's this?

I work at my own pace. As a rider I try my best not to compare myself with others, but I do set aims. My aim is to eventually be as good as her in riding, but can anyone suggest any steps on how to get there? I'd love any suggestion which will help me improve. I cannot afford any more lessons, but surely there is something which will improve me as a rider? I have the best RI ever, she teaches my fabulous horsey friend so I wont change her for the world. I am improving in my riding, just currently we are doing only hacking so we arent actually getting taught. Is there anything you have done which has progressed you on? If so please tell me!

Thanks for reading this any suggestions would help so much. (sorry for the slight blabbering on :o)
xxxKellyxxx

[eml]

Just a couple of points. There is often a big change in people's riding between 14 and 16 just because of growing up physically and mentally.

The fact your friend is asked to school ponies suggests she is already a tactful and knowledgable rider but she has not achieved this on one hours riding a week but on several hours helping with and riding all sorts of ponies.

Presumably like you she started in a weekly class and was given the opportunities because she was keen and willing to help and your RI spotted her potential. There is no reason why you can't also do that. Just work hard in lessons and around the yard and watch as many other ride as you can, not just those better than you but everyone so you can start to understand why some people get horses working better than others.

[horseygirl123]

I agree with eml, its hard to really progress when only riding 1 hour a week, I'm not saying you wont progress its just that it will be alot slower than say someone riding 4 times a week.

Also riding RS horses are a totally different ride to riding say a youngster or a friends horse that isnt particularily well schooled.

And the other thing is, once you progress to your friends level even then, you will watch someone else ride and strive to be as good as they are, there is always so much to learn when it comes to riding.

Why not ask your friend if there is anyway you could help more and tell her to look up to her and want to be able to ride like her, and see what she says

[eml]

Great idea from horseygirl about telling your friend how much you want to ride like her.

Don't discount your RS. We usually have a few 'projects' around from new ponies to those who maybe are being a bit too sharp with little people and often ask our regular riders if they want to help. One 13 year old loves 'sorting' out little school ponies who are taking the mickey too much with little riders, one of my adults rides a horse that does not go forward enough with more novice riders with her daughters lesson to sharpen her up.

Just show you are willing to 'muck in and muck out' and I am sure you will get much more involved and so progress.

[SJ wanabe]

I have always been compared with one of my friends, when we were younger people thought we were sisters and I have always gone everywhere she has but just not done as well as she has, I was like her shadow always where she was but still a step behing. She is 17 and I am 15 we have both been riding since we were 2 so she has had 2 years more experience than I have, but her mum also owns my livery yard and riding school!
I started doing things that she did not do, like show jumping, Now I am known to be a good jumper on the yard and when people say my name they don't say hers afterwards, although I know I will never be as good as her at doing dressage I know that I will always be more confident and jump bigger and more stylishly!!
So try to find something that your friend isn't that good at like jumping or gymkanas and try to improve that so that even if you never get as good as her you will still stand out!!:D Hope this helps!!:D

[Blair Witch]

You really shouldn't compare yourself to your friend. Maybe she has different goals than you do. It does help that she gets more instruction and time in the saddle. Maybe you could rent a horse and ask you friend to give you some tips and tricks. Ask her what she does to make the horse perform like that. I think your aim is a little too broad. Try to focus on something that is achievable quickly. Such as, "I want to be able to go from a walk to canter smoothly." Then, talk to your instructor and discuss your goals. Take it one day at a time. Just enjoy yourself, riding shouldn't always be a contest to see who's the best. It's suppose to be fun. Take advantage of the fact that your friend is such a good rider, she will probably be willing to give you lots of valuable, free advice.

[vonandiz]

Hmmm, not quite sure how to put this... I think that is a good thing to aspire to ride like another person and to constructively compare yourself to another person - position etc.. I do not think that it is a positive thing to compare yourself in a critical manner - I suspect long term this will take the edge of your enjoyment. Perhaps you need to think about how far you have come and that there will be other people aspiring to be like you.:) I would love to have even a teeny bit of the ability that most of the teenagers riding at my RS have!

[Jarani]

Well, this sort of sounds like me--in a way. I just got into riding last year, and get lessons once a week, as well. I'm a jumper/trail rider person. However, there's a 14 year old girl at my stable that has her own TB named Air, and just watching them makes me want to cry with envy. She's a year younger than myself, and I also have my own TB, although older and much larger, named Chance--and the difference in horses would be ten years of age. There's such a difference in ability, definitely due to her growing up around horses her whole life, and me just being introduced last year, but you can't help feeling a bit...inferior. Plus there is another girl with her QH, 6 year old named Sunny, and she's an amazing western rider. But hanging out with them, and getting to know them, and watching them ride a LOT has made me realize that they conquer a lot of obstacles with their horses. Katie is the best westerner and Erica will always be more experienced in riding and handling her horse. I'll get their someday, and Erica and Katie won't always be around to show me up, right? So, just keep it up, and work with horses whenever you can, even if you can't afford lessons. Try to work for lessons in your area, or come in contact with someone willing to let you exercise their horses. There are many ways to get out on other peoples horses. I only get one lesson a week, but I get out on weekends and the other boarders let me ride their horses: An arabian mare, a quarter horse gelding, a stubborn runaway pony, and a drafty welsh cob/halflinger. They're all different from my long and graceful Thoroughbred and overall, it makes me a better rider.

[Ms Kitty]

It is hard not to compare yourself to others, but we are all different and progress at different pace. And even though you have been riding longer in years than your friend, it seems like she has more hours spent in the saddle than you, mainly because she is riding so much more per week. So it is understandable she is better. But not to despare, it does not mean you can't get as good eventually!

If you don't have the finances to ride more lessons per week, how about instead of weekly group lesson, you start taking weekly private lessons. Would that be possible? I rode at home all the time, so I wasn't just riding at a RS, but I did have weekly lessons to learn to ride properly. I think I had once a week group lessons for maybe two years.. I did that mainly because two of my best friends were in the group. But when I grew a bit older (must have been about 10 years old by then) I realised that my friends weren't as interested in riding as I was and I was most often on my own in the group, and also realised that I wasn't actually learning anything. I started taking private lessons instead, once a week. Sure they cost a bit more, but during the next year I learnt more than I had learned in the two years riding in the group.

Maybe that is something for you to think about..?

Nina x

Ps. Talking about comparing to someone else.. I went to a Polo tournament couple of months ago, and on the second field there was some sort of Pony Club rally going on. They had few of their Polo players tapping he ball along the field. They must have not been older than 10 years old and they were soooooo good! :eek: I have been riding my whole life, played Polo now for three years, and I am NO WAY near as good. Felt a bit ashamed to be jealous of 10 year old's skills.. :o ;)

[trina]

Hi

I only ride once a week tops and have a lesson monthly so appreciate what you are going through. I sometimes consider giving it up altogether but am looking for a horse to hack out now more regularly just to keep fit for riding more than anything. Riding well is about good feel and a body that is correctly developed in terms of tone/muscle. These are both what I am struggling to maintain. As a fifteen year old I was always on ponies and my riding was better back then as a result. Stick with it though and use mental rehearsal. Imagine riding perfectly all week and you'll find you body has a uncanny way of helping you out at your next lesson.

Theres an exercise you can do to show this. Stand up straight and hold left arm out in front of you. Rotate from your waist anti-clockwise. Find a mark as to how far round you got. Repeat twice. You should get much further round. Now hold your right arm up, shut your eyes and imagine turning your torso clockwise three time each one taking you further round. Now try it for real and see if theres a difference between what happened on the left and the right. The power of mental rehearsal - spooky!!

Sorry for long post - hope you find it interesting

Trina

[funkyfilly_sos]

Theres an exercise you can do to show this. Stand up straight and hold left arm out in front of you. Rotate from your waist anti-clockwise. Find a mark as to how far round you got. Repeat twice. You should get much further round. Now hold your right arm up, shut your eyes and imagine turning your torso clockwise three time each one taking you further round. Now try it for real and see if theres a difference between what happened on the left and the right. The power of mental rehearsal - spooky!!

Sorry for long post - hope you find it interesting

Trina

Wow! :eek: It works! Thanks for that Trina I found it really interesting and it does work! I will try it with my riding for next week. Thanks! :)

Jarani, Ms Kitty, SJ wanabe and vonandiz its good to know other have the same "issue". It seems that a lot of us compare our abilities with others.

Eml and Horseygirl you both had very clear and encouraging words. You are right due to her increased time in the saddle and the oppotunities shes had it's obvious she'll be better, even though I have been riding longer. Of corse it is right that experience doesnt always equal ability its effort and time which equals abilitly, even if it is hard to face the truth! Plus its promising that eml has found that riders improve a lot between the ages of 14-16 which means the age gap may be "to blame" for the difference in ability.

Blair Witch, you have made a really good point. I should take advantage that she is one of my good friends on the yard. I have actually asked her if she'd give me a lesson when I get to exercise a school horse (as a reward for helping out). Well, to be honest she offered to teach me saying "you have the ability you just need the time to build it". Shes only 16 as well! I'm quite looking forward to it! :)

Ms kitty, I dont think I would be able to afford a privet lesson once a week :( My parents pay for it all and already complain how expensive it is. However, I've worked out that if I save up over a month and do jobs around the house etc I will (hopefully) be able to get enough money for one privet lesson. Do you think one privet lesson a month may improve my riding? They sound like they worked wonders for you!

Thanks guys! Everyone has been so helpful in every way! I cannot thank you all enough, as comparing myself to her does get me down a bit at times.

Any more suggestions are more than welcome!
xxxKellyxxx