Will i ever loose the fear?????

[viks]

Hi im new,

Started riding lessons about 4 weeks ago after wanting to do it for years but not having the courage to.

Boy i was well and truly hooked very afraid on my first lesson and insisted on having a lead, however moved on from that 8 lessons later have still not mastered much but i am starting to get the feel of things. I have done a bit of everything ie walk/trot/sitting and rising/and even had a few canters not bad but im sure the face told a different story ha ha.

I am able to stay behind to help to muck out etc find this scary as the horses seem so big.

Lesson 9 feeling great then CRASH BANG WHOLLOP i fell off in canter cuts bruises everywhere now im afraid of everything the horse pass wind and im OH MY GOD WHATS HAPPENING ha ha ha.

Had my first chance to feed the horses today only managed to feed 3 then got so scared as they where chomping to get it and i chickend out.

I have come to the conclusion i must be a control freak LOL.

Anyone else ever been in the same boat will this fear ever go????????

Vikki

[Kacey_Baby]

It depends really, some people never get over the fear.

A friend of mine fell of during a lesson once but she was straight back on the horse the next week and she was fine, although she was obviosuly still a little scared, but after a few weeks it didnt even bother her anymore:p

You could try getting on again but maybe asking someone to walk by you for that lesson and then see how it goes from there:)

[Nazdaq]

I was a bit of a nervous nellie but I think it was partly because of people looking over me all the time expecting me to mess up, and also becuase of a fall in my third lesson.....bruised tailbone and dented confidence. But I can say that I may have had a breakthrough only just yesterday. First I had a break from lessons for approx. 2 months or so. Second, I met up with Pibstar from this forum, yesterday and we did all the chores with her horse; mucking out, grooming, tacking up. Then we went for a hack (which I used to be scared of!) and I even cantered (which used to also be scary for me!)

There was no pressure to have the perfect position or anything like that so it was all about having fun. Who cares if we don't ride like the professionals, as long as neither horse or rider is in any discomfort/get hurt then its fine. Pibstar taught me that; its the attitude of a true happy hacker and thats what I want to be now. I can work on my canter out on hacks, so I am probably going to give formal lessons a miss for a while and just get out there (with an RI of course) on hacks, which are much more relaxed affairs.

I think that perhaps doing something like that will help you as well. Also, Pibstar's horse Molly is the sweetest thing on 4 legs, she doesn't bat an eyelid...I (a stranger) gave her carrots, brushed her, washed her sensitive areas and brushed her tail and mane and she was fine with it all (even though I had never done that before in my life) It was the most fantastic thing ever, I only wish to have such a kind animal of my own one day.

Hope that goes some way to helping you. :D

[viks]

Thanks for the replys,

After i fell in my lesson i got straight back on and just stayed with the rising trot it seems to be when i get home i keep thinking about it and what i could have done and the more i think about it the worse i feel i have had 2 more lessons since my fall 1 being today and i was a wreck today cant beleive that im being so stupid.

Anyway im going out on my first hack tomorrow so im hoping that this will help as i might get the feel a bit better and there are no corners or circles to do in rising trot i lve riding and horses so much and will keep at it but i only want to be a happy hacker and just be able to care and look after a horse fingers crossed the hack out wiil do the trick.

vikki:confused: but still i :)

[eml]

I am sorry to disagree but to canter on week 4 and then go out for a hack is going too fast. No matter how talented you are you cannot learn enough in this time to understand or be in control of a horse.

If on the other hand you just want to have thrilling ride then visit a theme park.

[Nazdaq]

Well you say from your posts that your next lesson will be lesson 12, I think perhaps you need to potter about a bit on a hack and then only canter if you feel its safe enough for you to do so. Do not push yourself to canter as I have only just started to after about almost 9 months of lessons and I struggled with fear like you did...fell off in lesson 3, got back on straight away but was still afraid. Like I said earlier the breakthrough for me only came yesterday. So make rides fun, relax and don't push yourself too far too fast. Aim to have fun, not to be a perfect rider, or to compete with anyone else. Hope that helps. :D

[viks]

Thanks for that i do feel that i am moving on too quick and i know myself that i just do not get the horses movement at all, i have refused on my last 2 lesson to do any cantering and told my ri that on the hack tomorrow i only want to walk i was hoping that this would give me a chance to feel what the horses movement was like and perhaps just learn to sit and find my position while walking.

I have been told that the area we are going is very quiet and flat and that i would not have to trot or canter at all do you think this will help my confidence??

vikkixx

[BeachRiding]

I wasn't cantering until a year after my first lesson! :eek: You really need to get them to slow down so you can learn to balance better.

[Est]

I get the feeling you're being pushed a bit too quickly with the riding!
And helping out on the ground, you're being expected to deal with some pretty risky situations for a beginner.

If you get on well with your RI and are very attached to the school, then speak to her about working out a much slower lesson plan - many people start with several lunge lessons at walk, and then walk and trot, before moving onto several months of walk and trot off the lunge. I'd also ask if you can book a few stable management lessons so that you're being *taught* how to move around the horses and handle them safely, before going back to helping out in general.

The only thing is, if your RI hasn't seen the problems that are being stored up here (health & safety, confidence, not developing a deep and balanced seat etc) then chances are they may not be the right person to teach you. They might be perfect for someone else, but perhaps not for you at this moment.

Are there any other riding schools near you? Perhaps you could start a thread asking for recommendations from NR members in Cornwall?

Good luck with this viks :) The right school/lesson plan is just round the corner and then you're going to have so much fun and come away from lessons looking like this :D instead of this :eek: !

-----------------
Edited to add: I wouldn't under any circumstances recommend you go out for a hack at this stage in your riding and confidence levels.

[laceyfreckle]

yes, definitely going too fast!! I am teaching my daughter and after 6weeks she has only done walk, rising and siting trot, steering, mounting and ***-mounting! maybe ask for some mounted exercises o help you balance and improve your confidence.

See if you can find a small genuine pony to help on the ground with - one in particular to help you get confidence.

if you were closer you could play with my pony as shes a great confidence giver but your miles away!!

I lost my nerve some time ago and had a 6yr break from ponies but now own my own! I may never jump 3ft fences again but i'm still enjoying riding and driving.

[RustyMary]

I'm really with the 'going too fast' faction here. If you fell off in canter in your 9th lesson then you weren't ready to canter at all. I've been riding for a year and I didn't canter for over 8 months; by the time my RI suggested it I felt completely ready for it and had no problem at all. Also many of the issues that people get worried about on here, eg losing stirrups all the time, maintaining rising trot and so on, were difficult for me at first but have resolved by themselves simply with my improving position and experience.

Horses are big scary animals no matter how much you love them - being guided slowly through working with them both on the ground and in the saddle will give you confidence and leave you able to enjoy them without being scared, but it takes time - a long time. It's supposed to be fun and that is spoilt by being frightened. I was really lucky in the way I was taught - if you feel you are being expected to do too much, maybe you could look for somewhere else? I don't want to criticise in any way but having had such a good experience I wish others could be taught the way I was/am!

[sophie33]

Yes, sorry to add to the chorus but I do agree! I have been riding a couple of years and feel that I'm only just getting the hang of my seat and hands in walk and trot now. I'm also starting to realise this riding business is a constant learning process, you're never 'finished'.
I think I would have progressed quicker in the first year if I'd gone slower! My new RI doesn't get me to canter (partly because I'm riding a young horse but also because she is concentrating on sorting out my basic position first) but I am learning so much more with her than I ever did in my previous lessons.
Ask to go slower, and if your RI isn't keen look for somewhere else.

[Mistertron]

Hi welcome to the forum!. To canter on week 4 does seem very fast progress!! on week 4 i think i was still working on rising trot. I do believe my RS is excellent and all the RIs are fantastic and never push me to do things i'm not sure about, allowing me to hold on if i need to!. I did have a bad lesson once where i just couldn't do anything right so my RI took me on a small hack (being led), just walking down the bridlepath near the school. It helped to relax me and it was much more chilled than a lesson. So maybe the hack will help you -ask to be led if it helps.

Anyways well done for getting back on after your fall and i hope gradually you get your confidence back!

As for confidence around horses on ground level - i hear what your saying! but hopefully Est is going to help me with that when i start helping out with her ponios! :D :D

[Afellpony]

I agree with others on here that say you're being pushed too fast. Personally, I think you should be taught to master one pace before going on to another. I know people want to move on - but taking it a bit slower does pay off. The more thorough you are taught to ride one pace before starting another gives you more confidence. For me rising trot was the pace I found hardest to master, it took a good 3 weeks having 2 lessons a week before I managed to rise with any finesse!!!!! Canter was the easiest pace.

[nelle]

I'm another who thinks you are being pushed way to fast. It also happened to me though, my (very young) RI had me cantering and jumping within weeks. I just didn't feel ready for it and fell off jumping - I never went back to that riding school. 18 months later I am still nervous (which i put down to my experience at that particular RS).

My freelance RI is lovely, she understands my nerves which revolve around cantering. Every lesson we have a few circuits of canter slowely building up my confidence. Then we move onto something else - she pushes me just out of my comfort zone, but not so much that i'm terrified. We aren't even thinking of jumping yet.

If I was you I'd be looking for another riding school - there is no better feeling than having a good lesson and nothing worse than loosing your confidence.

[Nazdaq]

I think pottering about in walk on a hack won't hurt at all....I did this when I was struggling with my confidence in canter....went right back to basics riding out with my parents on thier first ever time on a horse and we just walked (and I did a tiny bit of trot as well!) and it helped me loads I was brimming with confidence after that and that is part of the reason I was able to canter on this hack sucessfully (the other was Pibstar being so kind to me! :p)

I would say go on this small 'potter about' hack but like others say perhaps you can try out some other RS as well, don't necessarily quit going to this one, just try others as well....you might find something you liike better. That is the process I am sort of going through right now as well.

I hope that helps you further....I am posting a rather lot on this thread, hope you don't mind! :D

[Afellpony]

When I started to learn to ride (1963 was my first official lesson) it was expected of you to be cantering by your third lesson. So that is what happened; there was 6 of us in the Beginners' Class and we all went into the outdoor school and did our usual walk and trot rising and sitting. As we'd only had a couple of lessons previous to this one, none of us was 100% proficient even in the trot. Then we were told by the ex-army instructor that we'd try something new and that was cantering. We did our usual trot as a ride, then individually to the back of the ride and then we started to try and canter. Considering none of us were too keen, we didn't do too badly. That is to say, none of us fell off. On the 4th week of riding we went out for a hack on Streatham Common where the horse I was riding (Pepe) but his head between his knees and bucked. Of course, I came flying off. (There was no sympathy then, the peeps who ran the yard (even the younger ones) were around in the war so for this reason, they were quite hard). You just couldn't show you wre nervous then, other you would have been severely criticised and made fun of. A few weeks after that, I left and went to a wonderful school near Wimbledon Common. I stayed there for years and even became one of the weekend workers there.

[horseygirl123]

I'm with Naz on this one, I think a nice slow hack wouldnt be pushing it, on the other hand, if she wanted you to trot and canter, then I would definately say NO !!

Make sure you have a suitable, well schooled, horse to ride and your RI also is riding a well experienced horse, take it slow and try to relax, talk lots and enjoy the ride.

As far as canterring on week 4 I would say that you obviously werent ready or you wouldnt have fallen off !!!
You will know when you are ready as you will be trotting around quite happily, nicely balanced, steering well, on the right diagnal etc etc and have the urge to go faster, thats when YOU are ready, not when your RI thinks you are.

You have a lifetime of learning ahead of you, dont rush the basics now, as learning the basics puts you in good standing to be a good rider later on ;)

[viks]

Thank u all so much for your comments u have been really great and im so glad that i have joined this forum.XXXXXX

However i feel that i would like to say that the RS im with is great and the RI are very friendly and helpful i think it is me that is being pushy, being that i was very nervous when i first started to then be on a horse and going on my own i think i got a bit too big for my boots it has been me that has been asking to stay behind to do this and that which was all fine untill my fall.
Maybe i have just been put right back in my place and i now know that im not as good as i thought (teach me won't it).

Anyway went out on my first hack today very edgy after reading some of the comments on here but took notice and only walked and a light trot 10-12 paces found it great much more relaxed. Did the 1 and 2 count this helped loads as it gave me somthing else to think about and then i felt the horses movement, not all the time but at least i could feel it in places which is more than before.

Thanks again all that have replied
viks
xx

[horseygirl123]

Oh I'm so pleased you enjoyed your hack :D

Is it raining there? ITs been bucketing it down here for 3 days now, and I'm not even attempting a hack in this weather!!

[viks]

Yesterday was evil all horses were having none of it the wind and rain has been bad i said that if it was the same today there was no way i was going out on my first hack but today the sun has been shining all day just a little windy very enjoyable.

[lizzy]

I'm glad you enjoyed your hack. I am with all the others in agreeing that you may be being pushed on to quickly, but I think that a little walking/trotting carefully supervised hack gives you the oppertunity to see what there is to do 'outside' of lessons.

Good luck to you - from your profile I assume you are a 'mature' rider. It gets harder as you get older. Did you ride as a child? I started to ride 6 years ago at the age of 43 and now have a 16 year old cobx Adam who I love to bits and have owned 3 years. He knows his job and sometimes I think he is limited by my confidence and nerves. I hope to get at least another 9 or so years out of him (we have a horse at the yard who still events occasionally at the age of 32) and then who knows, I'll be nearly 60 by then and will have to have a think.

[viks]

Yes i am 35 years old and have never sat on a horse before in my life, i always wanted too but being 1 of 5 children the funds were not there for us to do this.

My husband and son (dylan who is 11 also just started to ride) knew how much i wanted to ride and got me riding lessons for my birthday it was the best prezzie ever that was on the 4th may.

I now have so much more symphay for my pupils when they are learning to drive than i ever did before (im a driving instructor) to me this is easy, when u see people riding a horse that looks easy OH how wrong u can be.

viks:confused:

[lizzy]

I'm always surprised at people who go on holiday abroad, go for a ride where the instructor/guide doesn't speak much English, ride without hats, get bolted with and think it's really funny - I'm such a wimp I'd never ride a horse that didn't speak English:D

Good luck to you, let us know how you get on - I'm sure you have now got the bug and will come on in leaps and bounds

[Mistertron]

I'm such a wimp I'd never ride a horse that didn't speak English:D


lol :D i wonder what 'Walk On' is, in different languages!