Terrified

[ERIKA]

Hi everyone,

Nice to meet you all. I've just registered on this site, and I'm a gal from Budapest, Hungary.
Anyway, I'm trying to deal with this enormous fear I have about riding. I used to ride 3-4 times a week for about 10 years, but 3 years ago I fell off badly and almost got into a wheelchair because of a spine injury. Although I climbed back immediately after falling off, it did not seem to help, as this was my last lesson ever since.

Now I've decided to take up riding again (I'm just missing it too much), but simply thinking about mounting a horse is enough to make my shoulder and back muscles to become tensed, and then I just quit thinking further. So, how will I start? Are lungeing sessions the only way to go? Is there anything else I can/should try?
It's worth mentioning that I've kept strong and flexible by regular training since then: there's nothing wrong with this body, but by mind keeps me from going ahead.

All advices and opinions are very welcome, as I know that I MUST do this, but a little bit of back-up would feel nice.

Thanks, and sorry for my poor English.
Regards: Erika

[Myrmex]

Hi Erika,

Your English is excellent, by the way! Loss of confidence after a fall is a common problem - and the older you get, the worse the dangers seem and the scarier it is getting on and riding. I gave up riding for a few years when I was a student and starting again was incredibly hard - I was nervous around the horse and worried about getting on (annoying, since I used to love riding 'problem' horses). I don't know why I reacted like this - I hadn't had a bad fall or anything. What I did for several weeks was a lot of just handling horses and being around them, grooming, feeding, leading and so on. Then, I rode a very quiet, reliable, elderly and small pony for a few months. And yes, lunge lessons were a great help. Eventually, I got bored and wanted something more challenging. Wearing the safest possible hat I could buy and a body protector helped, too. Now, although I'm not as fearless a rider as I was before my break, I'm back!

Hope this helps,

Myrmex

[KB]

Definitely find a nice solid quiet animal to start back with. My late appalousa gelding (had to put him down last fall) whom I'd had for years got scarier and scarier to ride as I got older. I wasn't taking lessons and he was green (a sweet heart, but still...) and I finally got to the point where I wouldn't ride him. After a few years I finally decided to ride again and started taking lessons on a nice quiet (for the most part) mare. What a difference. I gained confidence and was able to get back on my appy and get him to behave. But the main thing is you have to have a horse that you KNOW is not going to do anything to hurt you - even by accident! That will allow you to start building up your confidence and eventually move on to something with more spice or not. There is definitely something to be said for calm well mannered horses. Go as slow with re-learning to ride as you are comfortable with. Good luck!

[Tikki]

Hi Erika

I agree wholeheartedly with the other posts. Take things at your own pace. It might help if you have someone you know and trust with you, just having someone around can make a tremendous difference.

Good luck.

Tikki

[Heather]

Hi Erika,

If only you lived in, or were able to come to England! What you need is some initial lessons on my Equisimulator- a machine that simulates the movement of horses. With this, I can teach the rider 'hands on', showing you the precise flexions of the lower back and rotations of the pelvis to absorb and synchronise with the horse's movement. It is great for confidence, and enables you to learn in a fraction of the time, and above all, in complete safety. If you are ever in the Uk, let me know well in advance, and I will try to do something for you.

Heather

[ERIKA]

Hello everyone,

Thanks for your lovely support, I just cannot tell you how happy I was when receiving so many answers. You know, it's almost impossible to get advice and/or help from professionals here as you either start to ride at an early age and then belong to the riding society, or you're out... getting the laziest instructor and those tired-of-riders-horses. But this is another story.

Anyway, I had my first lunging lesson, and I kept in mind all those good advices you'd given me... still, I felt totally out of control! I mean, how can you possible forget all those movements, rythm, and so on...Just when everyone told me that's it's like biking, you cannot forget than either! Well, I did, I kept loosing my stirrups, bumped around, couldn't keep up those paces, I was a complete chicken. (OK, it felt lovely to sit on a horse again, all those sounds and smells, I wish I'd been able to enjoy it a bit more).
Then I got home, and I was like no,no,no, you must clear this up, so I got me thinking a lot and I realised that I have to build my confidence and technique up again from the beginning, and then why not doing it the "kinder way"? After checking Heather's sites it sounds definetely more reasonable, easier and more logical than any other method I've heard about insofar.
So, I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who had tried to learn riding from Heather's book totally on his/her own? I have to do it all by myself as these instructors here have never heard about her, (they don't even speak English, so it's no wonder), but it feels a bit strange, as there will be noone around to correct me (and more important, support me when I'm doing the right thing!). What do you think, is it possible at all? And then not to mention those ill-schooled horses, who just won't get the idea what I am trying to achieve...I mean, I will have my head and hands full with my own stuff, how will I concentrate on the poor creature under me? I know that Heather can transform in 15 minutes just about "anything" into a perfect horse, but I'm only too far away from that...

Well, I hope that someone out there will answer me again, as I feel that you'll be my only support if I'm really to give it a try.
Thanks!!!!!!
Regards: Erika

[Heather]

I will be shooting two videos later this summer Erick, which will cover the first six chapters of the book. This should help you a lot, as it will show everything very clearly. I have just had a meeting with the fiilm company today, and they are going to superimpose graphics onto the picture, showing, for instance how the rider's spine flexes etc. My biggest problem is finding the time to shoot, and of course, having weather in this wet country of ours to film it. The companies that sell videos do not like the film being shot indoors, so it has to be done outside. I will just pray for sun, for a change!

Heather

[Moke]

Erick? I guess this really doesn't help now but, maybe a siderunner or something might help. Also, a ohhhhhh, what's it called? You know those things people put on their horses to stay on or grabIt goes around the neck of the horse. It might make you feel a little more secure. Good luck!!!!!!!

[CLAUDIA]

Are you talking about grabbing the strap of the martingale?

[Judy]

Could someone please tell me what lunging is? Sorry, I'm really new to all this.

Erika, I sure can relate to your fear. I'm just a beginner, and I slipped off once in an early lesson because I didn't get the girth tight enough... and even though I didn't fall very far or hard, it HURT and scared me a lot. Ever since then, I have to wrestle with this fear that I'm going to fall off again, and heaven forbid that it should be while we're actually trotting or something. But I keep having this running dialogue with myself, telling myself it's probably just as dangerous to get in my car and drive home. And then I think, "Is this important enough to me to risk the small chance that I might get injured?" And of course the answer is a resounding YES. Maybe fear is not necessarily such a bad thing, as it will cause us to be careful and have a healthy respect for these large animals we're riding, right? But we don't have to let the fear stop us from doing what we love. I'm really glad to see you wrestling your own fear to the ground! I know you will overcome it, and so will I.

Let us know how things go, okay? I am in the U.S. and sure wish I could fly to England and have a few lessons from Heather!

Judy

[ERIKA]

Hi Judy,
Two weeks later I still keep on trying, but I cannot really say that I'm making progress. Yes, technically perhaps, but emotionally my fear's still difficult to deal with.

You know, I've been thinking a lot about those things you mentioned, like is it worth the chance to fall off, and so on... I used to think that oh yes, it is definetely worth it, but when there's literally one inch between you and the wheelchair (for the rest of your life), things are put in a new light. I'm sure that with a less serious injury I'd have never even thought about giving up riding, but that experience was too tough on me... Am I being a chicken? Well, it may be so, but you could call it realistic as well...

Anyway, last week I received Heather's book from England and kept reading it over and over again. I start to realise that a radical change is needed in my approach... I'm working on it.
How is it going for you? Please write to me if you feel like chatting with someone in a similar situation. I'd be glad to hear from you.
Regards: Erika

[CLAUDIA]

One of my friends won't ride because she thinks it's too dangerous (yet she'll happily get behind the wheel after having a few to drink--go figure?). I try to look at everything as if we are all CABS (Currently Abled Bodies). That's what the sociologists call it. I say if you really enjoy riding and have the desire to do it then it's fine. There are a lot of other things that are potentially more dangerous than riding, such as driving down the street to get a gallon of milk. Even leaving the doors unlocked at night could be more dangerous, depending on where you live. I think riding is great for the mind and body, and with every decision you make in life there's a risk involved. I fell while cantering, and although I hit the ground hard I was only bruised. I've watched how the horses where I ride react to riders falling. They all swing their hindquarters in the opposite direction from where you're falling, move away from you then stop looking at you with a thoughtful look on their face. I hope you resolve your fear soon!

--Claudia :)

[~alison~*]

Hi Ericka, I would suggest that at first, you just get used to being around horses, going out to the stables and watching other lessons, walking horses around, grooming them etc...while you still need to get back on, try to feel comfortable around them first.

Also, about Heather's book: My friend was riding this horse named Joe, and supposedly he was being bad...So she got his reins really tight (TOO tight, which was the main problem. Did I mention that she rides western and has never had and lesson for engish?), and she was working him very hard. At first I was going to get on him, but I decided that my wrist would hurt too much (it's sprained), but then she asked me what she should do, because nothing was working. I told her to loosed his reins, and be his partner, not his boss. But she told me that that wouldn't work, so I told her to let me get on him. I did, and I got a normal, not too tight, not too loose rein, and walked him out for a while (he was dripping with sweat) and then asked him for a trot, it was a little fast so I asked him for a half halt, and he listened to everything I asked of him. Then we cantered a little bit, and he was an angel. My friend kept her mouth shut......It works!

I hope you get your confidence back Ericka!!!

[Susan B.]

Dear Erika,

I'm sorry you had such a scary experience.I fell off during my third lesson while learning to canter (I steered my horse to a jump by mistake).Luckily I was only winded and bruised.Strangely enough,this boosted my cofidence in my fit but forty year old body. I did not canter again for about a month and my instructors did not push me. When spring came and we were able to ride outside this was so much fun I was able to overcome my fear. I guess my advice is to hang in there until you're having fun again. The fun will end your fear.Good Luck!