Still lacking in confidence!

[vicky31]

Hi Everyone,
Wonder if anyone has any advice or the same issue?
I've had my horse from being 2 1/2 now 6. Doin ok, he is very honest and genuine and doesn't tend to do anything bad at all.
Whats the problem??
I still feel very anxious tacking up and getting ready to ride. My friend is a riding instructor and she helps me alot when riding, in fact if it hadn't been for her i know me and my horse would not be doin half as much as we are.
I can't explain the feeling i have, I take deep breaths coming round the corner with my tack, my hands shake putting the tack on.
He can be very full of himself and feels really tense under saddle sometimes and i have to stay still and quiet with no leg and minimum rein contact or he is like a coiled spring, which i do and he relaxes, we do some leg yield and moving in and out of circles, stopping & starting and he relaxes and takes the contact. He has never just exploded and thrown a wobbly yet I still expect him too! I find myself making daft excuses not to ride and I don't know why?? When i have ridden him I feel great and am so pleased with his performance and progress. My friend is telling me to get him to do a show but I have the same concerns " oh my god WHAT IF!
He has a very sensitive mouth so I have to ride with little contact or he pulls and pulls and fights, We sussed this last year and the change in technic is working great, also changed from a snaffle to a Myler hanging cheek wide barrel snaffle, he has a very low palet.
Why do I feel this way and how can I overcome it to trust him?:o:o:confused:

[Joyscarer]

I have just gone through a similar thing as you and am just coming out the other side.

Is it just him you feel like this with or would it be the same for any horse?

[vicky31]

Hi, I only have him to ride. I feel a bit silly really!
How did you come to terms with it? was it with just one horse or all?
wondering if a lesson, well a helping hand every time i ride has something to do with it?
I had a nasty fall when i first backed him about 2 1/2 yrs ago, being a bit adventurous and having too much confidence in him. We went on a field and had a trot round which wasn't a problem as he had been backed and brought on in field as we have no paddock then. I guy was dismantling a shed and he spooked, I immediatly grabbed my reins and he started to bronk on the spot, I stayed on that ( god knows how, it was horrific) then he reared up full wack and started walking backwards as he was only a baby and no balance I let go and and he came back down bu then realised I was sat at the back of the saddle bucked and away through the air I was. As a result I had torn the ligaments in my arm from my shoulder joint and elbow joint. If he spooked now I know to release the reins and just let him go forward. He is so good now, he doesn't buck, well unless we have a little jump, never reared since, doesn't bolt, he is sharp but I don't think thats the reason I feel like I do.
Thing is he is getting bigger and bigger and I need to get this sorted before I end up selling him and getting something else or even worse just not riding him and keeping him as a pet which would be a crying shame as the potential is there to make a really talented horse.
Sorry for the essay!

[doris]

There is no rush to go to a show if you really don't want to. Confidence can be a very difficult thing to get back once it appears to have vanished but that is nothing to feel ashamed about. Everyone rides at different levels, some are really competitive and some merely want to enjoy their horse.

Why don't you try going back a few steps to some basics with your horse? Also, why don't you try doing some leading in hand exercises with him as well. These can be real confidence boosters and can help build a bond with your horse.

You can lead him through an obstacle course of poles, either in a line with alternate ends raised. You can lay out a tarpauling and lead him over that. You can also put a line of cones out and tie flapping plastic bags to them. All these things will help both of you, and can be fun as well.

[vicky31]

You must have a crystal ball! Done that tonight, we used to do it with him as a baby to keep his mind active but without doing physical work, mental stimulation is just as much hard work for them. We did scary lady with umberella, tarpoline sheets, empty shavings and feed bags, cones with umberellas in crates to move in and out of. Its so funny how he still hides behind me when he is unsure,like I can block his view now lol, really enjoyed it, had a good laugh. Absolutely drowned but hey we don't melt lol.
Thanks for that advice, obviously on the same wave length.
Shows mmmm, feel a bit pressured I guess, everyone else going. I didn't buy him to do shows, I just wanted a horse I could ride, Think the step back and back to the enjoyment side might be good for us. Vicky :):)