If you are really "mature", how do you know you can ride?

[Skib]

This carries on from Gruntfuttock's thread about her really mature Mum starting again. We all encouraged her to start.
Starting may be easier when you are old, than the next stage, carrying on?

I was contradictory on that thread. I said that older riders have to be sure of themselves and ask for what they want, rather than to wait for it to happen.

Yes, Linda, I am assertive. Luckily horses know that and do as I want. Yet I am entirely suggestible - and incapable of claiming to be capable.

The problem is that I am not convinced I can ride.
My RI says it is because for most of my life I couldn't ride. My brain assumes I cant. When I see people on horseback, I don't picture myself being able to do the same.
Yet as soon as I sit on a horse I know what I am doing. Which is why I said that Gruntfuttock's Mum needs to sit on a horse and get used to it and see how she feels?

My particular worry is that I am never certain I will be able to canter again after a break. To be honest, my first canter is always bumpy as I am stressed. For various reasons, I haven't cantered since May. This worried me so much that I made my RI promise me before we left for the States that she would help me canter again when we got back. She was bemused.

Since we got back from holiday, I have found countless reasons not to start hacking again and not to canter. My favourite escort left and there was no one left at the yard who knew I could ride. I meet middle aged riders who tell me how brave I am to ride in the Park and I begin to believe them.

But I can now breathe a sigh of relief. Yesterday the escort who knows me was back (surprise). I rode my favourite mare. I forced myself to try a few steps of canter a.s.a.p. Surprise, surprise, it was smooth and instead of avoiding it which is my usual ploy, we went our long, fast circuit and rode lots of canter, both sitting and forward seat.

Do you think I have reached the point where I wont ever forget? Like swimming or riding a bike, canter is safely stowed in my brain? I think next time, I wont worry about taking a break.

But are my doubts after every break, shared by other really "mature" people returning to ride, or continuing to ride when they are older - we may not be entirely sure that we can? Or that we still can?
or that it is wise to try?

[Noblesteed]

I had a similar problem recently. If I did not go to my weekly riding lesson i felt I would forget how to ride. However I did have some breaks and it was all OK. I think my fear of forgetting was in my head because my body certainly remembered! I think we need to trust our body and motor memory in order to overcome our fear. I always used to see myself as a novice rider and always a learner, having started riding at 40. I think it was a defence for me to use if I felt scared or nervous and I used it to excuse myself. However I have recently taken on a horse which I share with the owner and I went to try him with the idea that I could ride and was actually quite competent. And guess what, it is true! I've ditched my mental L plates and ride like a 'proper' rider. I take this horse out on my own, along roads, across fields, exploring the countryside. We still have the odd moment, but it no longer destroys my confidence. In fact now, dealing with incidents out hacking build my confidence and reinforce my belief in my abilities, so I go out feeling much more positive.
Be kind to yourself and remind yourself of what you can do. And most of all enjoy it!

[vince42]

The key word is "ride" isn't it. It's not too hard to sit on a willing horse, pick up the basic aids and get the idea of balance.

I discovered horses about three years ago and I'm only just beginning to "ride" - to feel the differences in the horse beneath and to react and adapt to the situations that arise. It's not easy, some of the things are counter intuitive and I've needed a lot of detailed explanations and instruction as well as time in the saddle to "reprogram" my brain.

I suppose if I had learnt as a child my brain would simply have accepted what was happening whereas now it has 35+ years of life experiences to draw comparisons with. After a couple of crunching falls I became nervous of canter and paricularly of not being able to halt the horse - 18 months on I know this is still lurking in the back of my mind especially if I ride a new horse but I have learned to stay relaxed and not tense and grip.

You can't help how you feel - in much the same way as you can't expect a startled horse not to react - but you can learn to understand your feelings and moderate your reactions. It's not always easy and takes time but if you love doing it it's worth the effort.

Starting may be easier when you are old, than the next stage, carrying on?

I'd say this is probably most true about finding the right instruction - as an adult learner I'm always looking for feedback as I'm riding so I can equate what I feel with what i'm doing to what is happening under me. But everyone learns differently and you need to find a supportive school or instructor.

Vince

[OldandNew]

This is an interesting thread as I can so empathise with Skib - although my experience is comparatively small. I am however "mature" and a beginner! When I first learnt rising trot, I continually worried from lesson to lesson whether I would have forgotten it. Then, when I had to ride a different horse I worried that I wouldn't remember anything at all and would not be able to ride him. Next lesson I am to ride yet another horse and I'm scared and worried all over again that I will be useless.

Skib mentions cantering - well, for me, this is the BIG target, the big ambition. The thought absolutely terrifies me and I do wonder if I am anywhere near ready. My RI hasn't said anything but then neither have I broached the subject.

My RI says riding a horse is "like riding a bike" and you don't forget. But as I pointed out to her - I never learned to ride a horse as a child and I never learned to ride a bike either!!!

[Wobblydeb]

I know exactly how you feel! I think it is to do with not being totally comfortable with the canter pace. I never worry that I am going to forget rising trot for instance, because that is now embedded in my brain, whether I get on a whizzy-paced pony or a long-slow draft. I know I can do it automatically and in reasonable balance.

However asking for, and sitting to, canter doesn't yet happen automatically. Which means it is kind of understandable that on a new horse, or after a break, I worry that it somehow isn't there. :p

Whenever I get on a strange horse and it happens easily I'm always kind of surprised and delighted. It still feels like a bit of a fluke when I deliberately ask, and then get a good balanced canter. That's because there are still plenty of times it doesn't happen that nicely :o

My hope is that with enough time in the saddle in canter, it will become more "automatic" just like trot :)

[coverblown]

..The problem is that I am not convinced I can ride........................

I know I know I know. This I am sure is attributed to starting late. And to the nature of horses and riding, when even the experts are always learning. For me, that is one of the most satisfying and also most frustrating parts of riding - even if you ride the same horse day in day out or lots of different horses.

..My particular worry is that I am never certain I will be able to canter again after a break.......

And this too is my feeling after a break. When I returned from an injury I walked and trotted P in the school; but returned to the lunge for canter - I think WD explains it really well above the different feelings we experience in canter.


..I forced myself to try a few steps of canter a.s.a.p. Surprise, surprise, it was smooth and instead of avoiding it which is my usual ploy, we went our long, fast circuit and rode lots of canter, both sitting and forward seat.

YAYY! Thats great news Skib, and I do think you have reached a breakthrough point, where you probably have some muscle memory for canter. Well done..

[Grace O'Malley]

But are my doubts after every break, shared by other really "mature" people returning to ride, or continuing to ride when they are older - we may not be entirely sure that we can? Or that we still can?
or that it is wise to try?

In a word: yes :)

I know that my skills (not brilliant, but not terrible either :rolleyes:) are way ahead of my confidence and physical stamina. I'm always trying to improve all three, but to some extent I've just had to come to terms with my limitations. And yes, even though I ride my horse almost every day and she's never given me any reason to fear her, I have a little routine of some ground exercises, and things I do when I first get on (having her stand and bend left, then right, then rein back a few steps) which serve to calm my nerves and focus both of us. I've only started cantering her recently, and yes, it's amazingly natural and comfortable, not the out-of-control, heart-pounding experience I had built up in my head :o

[wanabe]

I too, am not sure I can "ride" -- in fact, I'm pretty sure I can't. Like vince42, I also especially fear not being able to stop a horse. However, I do not think that I forget the movements after a break.

[Ruskii]

My hope is that with enough time in the saddle in canter, it will become more "automatic" just like trot :)

I am sooooooooo glad someone else feels the same way about this like me :o:D

[Kittycat]

Thank god it's not just me!!! :D

I've only been riding a year, and have difficulties when riding horses I am not so used to (especially if they are bouncy...) but can cope well with the whizzy NF. I get a bit panicky if the canter is very fast, and have demonstrated a perfect case of 'this is what happens when you tense up completely at canter' in front of an audience. (BTW, you panic, bounce, your seat becomes terrible and you can't stop. You also swear loudly).:o

I am convinced that I can't really ride, that one day someone is going to uncover the fact that I have just been getting by somehow and show me up for a fraud. My RI encourages me and tells me I am coming on really well, I am allowed to handle horses on my own and I ask questions all the time. I just can't convince my head that on a well behaved horse I am reasonably competent at the basics. I would never have been like this as a teenager, it has to be an age thing!!! :):):)

[Afellpony]

Having started riding at an early age (no break for children), everything seems relatively easy (plus I have a very cooperative pony). I do have problems with arthritis in my both my legs now but only have difficulty getting off. Falcon is used to the way I have to get off him and does stand still (bless him). I dread the day that I cant ride any more but when that happens, I guess he'll have to learn how to pull a trap!

[LindaAd]

I too, am not sure I can "ride" -- in fact, I'm pretty sure I can't. .


Thank god it's not just me!!! :D

I've only been riding a year, and have difficulties when riding horses I am not so used to (especially if they are bouncy...) but can cope well with the whizzy NF. I get a bit panicky if the canter is very fast





<snip>.

Yes, Linda, I am assertive. Luckily horses know that and do as I want.

<snip>



I don't think there is such a thing as "being able to ride" - except for those people who know they can get onto any horse and persuade it to co-operate without ever losing their perfect position ... well, hardly ever. The ones I know are pretty well all professionals.

For the rest of us, it's not "I can ride" or "I can't ride"; as some people have said in this thread, it's "I can do these things with a co-operative horse ..." or "I find this difficult ..." or "I haven't learnt this yet ...(and maybe I never will)".

I can understand that it must be hard to see yourself as "a rider" though, if you've been a non-rider all your life. I suppose really it will creep up on you gradually. Of course for those of us who rode as children, it's the other way round: I find it hard to think of myself as a non-rider, even though I may bump and flop and loose my balance and my reins ...

But if being able to say "horses do as I want" is what makes a rider, then I'm not there yet. The best I can manage is "some horses do as I want some of the time ..." ;)

[Trewsers]

I think things like cantering are more of a worry when you are older and riding - I too haven't cantered for quite some time, I know I can do it - but it is a huge mental block with me - I had a couple of bad experiences which cloud me still where canter is concerned. I know what you mean about seeing people on horses - because it was always something I dreamt of as a child (I had very few hacks / lessons mainly due to finances) I still don't equate myself as a "rider" which is absolutely ridiculous - being as I have my own as does OH. I guess I feel a little fraudulent at times!!! But, to get back to the question - I think yes, you are at the point where you won't forget - even after a break - I think we all are - we just don't cope very well with the thoughts of doing certain things!

[icegirl]

I think you will have "body memory" now you have done it again.
It used to scare me to canter when I first had my loan horse because the previous one had gone straight into canter and bucked me off!
The way I dealt with it was to concentrate really hard on getting a smooth transition from trot to canter and visualise "flowing" with the horse. My next horse was much calmer bless her and off she went like a lovely rocking chair and we were cantering. So now I go for several strides of steady trot and moving into slow canter and only speeding up if I feel ready.

[Suzanne2]

I agree with all of the above! But the only positive thing I would say about fear is that sometimes it is good to scare yourself. It makes you feel alive and the next time you do that same thing, it doesn't feel quite so scary the next time. I am a massive wuss but then there is that adrenalin thing that drags you back...

[JustJas]

TBH.... it is not starting late....
I have ridden since the age of 3... but as most of my earlier riding til I bought my own horse in my 20s I was on other peoples horses I never felt a real rider.

The fact I could control every naughty pony/youngster I was (as a competent rider) out on did not change my ideas.

I still have worries.

I would say relax and go with it as you feel happy...that is what I do.

[eml]

I took this the other way round. When I was younger I was convinced I could ride quite well. As I get older I am convinced I am not very good.

I think this however is true of many things. As you get older you hopefully get more experiences if not wiser and with wisdom comes the knowledge that you do not know enough.

Wow sorry thats a bit philosphical for a Monday night!!

[Luxie]

with wisdom comes the knowledge that you do not know enough.



That is so true - "the more you learn, the more you learn there is to learn".

[Afellpony]

Quote:
If you're really mature how do you know you can ride?

If you dont know you can ride by the time you have reached a really mature state, then there really is no hope for any of us then!!!:cool:

[laura jeanne]

Skib, I've always felt like I was not really a good rider. Recently though, I have the feeling that I am not so bad after all. I feel confident on horses and am lately learning a few more refined skills that let me actually feel like I'm cueing the horse with my body position and weight and not depending on the reins very much.

Also, I can see riders who are much better than I am every time I go to the barn (English, jumping and western riding) but instead of it making me feel inferior, I tend to watch them closely for anything I can recognize as something I might be able to do or something that might help me be a better rider.

I haven't cantered in months tho so I know exactly how you feel.

[LizH]

Yet again NR has a thread exactly reflecting how I'm feeling about riding at the moment! Owning Bill has made me realise that I've never really "ridden" a horse before - just been a balanced passenger! After a few recent falls I found I was always deciding "just to go for a slow hack" ,rather than go in the school and work on my skills.
So I decided to go on a "riding holiday" - at home.I booked daily lessons all this week and some days it went well , others it didn't ,but I can now canter round the school - for the first time in a year:D. My instincts still tell me that Bill is going to fall over sideways at every corner :eek:, but my head points out that he won't - and so far he hasn't:o. I don't suppose I'll ever feel I can ride well , but I can ride better than I did a year ago and I feel very proud of myself tonight!!! (Now I must keep up the practise until I can canter on a hack and not worry that a) I'll fall off b) I won't be able to stop c) Bill will fall over.):p

[Whatanejit]

What a great idea Liz.

:)

[Mike S]

All this worry about canter... One of the most pleasurable experiences on horseback. I started riding in the early 1970's but, until now, hadn't ridden for a good ten years or more. Recently, on climbing back onboard, it felt somewhat strange. The horse wasn't brill but it served a purpose. Walk - fine. Trot - barely acceptable (yuk). But canter... Wonderful! For canter, ride soft, ride loose(ish); ride with the horse's own momentum, rather than against it. The only way to succed in getting back into riding after a long lapse of time, is to drop the nerves as quickly as possible, lest the horse senses those nerves.... :D ... Take a deep breath, mount up, sit awhile, forget the world around you, and think 'horse'. If thinking 'horse' makes you nervous, then I suggest you work on your nerves before proceeding too far, too soon. Easier said than done, maybe, but ones own 'nerve thing' has to be overcome, first and foremost. At the end of the day that's down to oneself ... ;)

Mike. And hello all, I'm new here.

[LindaAd]

<snip> The only way to succed in getting back into riding after a long lapse of time, is to drop the nerves as quickly as possible, lest the horse senses those nerves.... :D ... Take a deep breath, mount up, sit awhile, forget the world around you, and think 'horse'. If thinking 'horse' makes you nervous, then I suggest you work on your nerves before proceeding too far, too soon. Easier said than done, maybe, but ones own 'nerve thing' has to be overcome, first and foremost. At the end of the day that's down to oneself ... ;)

Mike. And hello all, I'm new here.




Hello, Mike and welcome.

You're obviously one of the lucky ones, for whom nerves aren't a problem. I used to be like that, often a bit scared, but I'd have a go. Then I had a fall that scared me, to the point where I couldn't actually get on a horse - and that's when I understood what people were really talking about when they talk about nerves ...

As you say, it's easier said than done. I did it (I think!), but it took a long time . We do need to recognise that it's much easier for some people than for others. I do admire the people who struggle with nerves and still go on riding; it's like seasickness – it just makes you feel so awful. I think if I hadn't had all those years of riding to remember, I'd have probably given up. :eek::eek::eek:

[Mike S]

LindaAd: Hello, Mike and welcome.

-----------------------

Thank you most kindly ma'am ... ;) ... Yes, I concede that the 'nerve' bit is a very human emotion. My nerves were tested (riding-wise) after a nasty hunting accident back in the 1970's, which fractured my right femur, added with a most dreadful bruising and swelling of thigh muscles... :mad: .... Weeks later, after leaving hospital - strapped in a hip/leg plaster - an old timer (a friend) insisted I climb back in the saddle, there and then! Was he nuts? .... :confused: ... I trusted him 100%. That trust eased me aboard. He broke my panic. The instant my leg was mended I was itching to start riding again. Lucky? Maybe. But it was also a state of mind. To overcome nerves, jitterbugs, fear, resistence... Yes, for some folk it takes time, as it did you. As regards seasickness, as a comparison, I understand that, too! ... :eek:... Yet I still sailed. Glutton for punishment? Hell, life IS punishment, LindAd... :D:D ...

Glad you regained your nerve, albeit much later, perhaps, than you had hoped. But the fact is, you got there, you perservered. And that, I think, is what this all amounts to - perseverence... ;) ... :D ...

[cecilyhill]

Hi everyone,

I am new as well.

I have ridden for over 40 years and owned horses most of my life.

My daughters horse had to retire last year aged 25 and so I decided to give her my beloved mare.

Now I want to get back in the saddle again, I thought that at 56 I would not want or need to again, I was very wrong.

I do agree that when you are young you have no fear at all, when I was younger I thought nothing of competing cross country, jumping etc now I am not so sure (You dont bounce as well).

I think happy hacking is the way I will go now but perhaps there is nothing to fear as you get older except perhaps fear itself try singing it does help.

[Yummymummy]

I have read through your replies and completely understand where everyone is coming from, I do not understand the mental block that a few have spoken about as I am just not that type of person personally however can completely understand those of you who have this block, for whatever reason, fear, accident, confidence etc.

I started riding again after a 15 year break and find that ever horse is different in most gaits, the first horse I got was so uncomfortable to ride (I never cantered him), the second wonderful, the third and the one I still have a large shire mare is great now but a year after returning to riding I'm only just getting the hang of the canter and have only galloped once cos I keep thinking she will fall and I will be crushed (the distant but terrible memories of recovering from a horendous horse accident of which I have no recolection!)

It takes so much practice to get it right and I try to look down to see which is her leading leg but she gets tired and its so hard to see!! I still feel like a complete novice, and call myself a novice, but if I really think about it, I'm probably not, I just can't remember the leg aids :rolleyes: I try but get all confused, I need to try harder!!