those of you with young kids, how do you manage?

[suzanne7575]

I would love to own my own horse again but at the moment I have no idea how i would fit it in with the kids. They are 5 and 3 and as we live away from family we have no handy grandparents so it's down to me and DH and as DH works away a lot there would be times i would have to take the kids with me to the yard and i don't think i would get anything done with them around.

So how do you all manage

In fairness it will most likley be a couple of years before i can buy my own by which time kids will both be at school all day and will be older and more responsible so i could take them with me to do stable chores, then i would have all day whilst they are at school to ride and I guess once they are older there will be their ponies too :confused::eek: so in the meantime i guess it will be riding lessons and possible a share horse.

[Siogfinsceal]

Hi, at the RS where I keep my horse they do a 'mums' lesson on a weekday morning where mums can ride while their kids are at school. Another option once they are older is to bring them too. I'm not sure about other RS but at ours they don't seperate lessons by ability to ride so in a lesson you could have advanced and beginners mixed (really helps people to learn) so if you found a school similar the three of you could ride together in a lesson.

[suzanne7575]

Hi, at the RS where I keep my horse they do a 'mums' lesson on a weekday morning where mums can ride while their kids are at school. Another option once they are older is to bring them too. I'm not sure about other RS but at ours they don't seperate lessons by ability to ride so in a lesson you could have advanced and beginners mixed (really helps people to learn) so if you found a school similar the three of you could ride together in a lesson.

the school I am going to has adult lessons during the week and at weekends, I will be going at weekends as hubby is at home with kids, the problem is my youngest only goes to nursery for 2 hours per day so it's not long enough to do anything really, but it's only another year until she is at full time school so more options then

[coyote]

i have 4 children aged between 4 and 12 ,my youngest starts school in sept and have had horses through-out having all of them,i never remember it being a problem at all,maybe im lucky,i have no family close either, so the kids came with me everywhere and it has never stopped me doing what i wanted,except for hacking out,that waited until hubby was home,all i have to say is WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY!!!!!!:D:D

[Gruntfuttock]

I'm glad you've posted this, Suzanne, because its an issue that's really bothering me as well. My daughter is 4, she's at school full-time and i work full-time. I pick her up at about 5.30 as her school does after-school care. If i had a horse, I would absolutely have to take DD to the stables with me as no other option (DH works in London and doesn't get back until late). But, am i then doing her a disservice by spending more time with the horse than with her?

[laceyfreckle]

#I have 4 children aged a year on saturday:eek:, 2yrs, 5yrs and 8yrs and they do have to come to the yard with me. i constantly worry i'm not doing right by them but they actually ask to come up now! (although the electric fencing the 2yr old and the filly do make me think i may go prematurely grey) oh, and they LOVE ragwort picking and anything that makes them feel they're doing a job. Saying that the 6 weeks holidays we're now in are a bit more tricky and it will be easier when the oldest two are back at school which will leave me just with two down the yard. I hack out evenings and weekends when OH is home but i'm not allowed to go too much when he's home or he starts to feel neglected!

[Gruntfuttock]

Happy birthday for your little un on Saturday, laceyfreckle ! Where does the time go?

My daughter does love ponies, and i am sure she'd love to come up to the stables and spend time with me and any horse I happened to buy. I actually think thats one issue i'd have to take seriously into acccount when buying a horse, of how safe it is around small children. She isn't a silly child, and she knows how to behave around horses, but it does worry me a little.

It would be useful to have a small person to groom tummies - would save me bending down :D

[NicP]

I solved that one - I have three labradors instead of kids! :p

[vonandiz]

I also have 2 children (6 and 19months) and work full-time. I don't have a horse (yet) but do spend 2-3 afternoons/evenings riding or just at the yard learning stuff.

The way I look at it is (on a good day) is that I'm a much happier relaxed person if I get time to do my own thing so when I'm with the sproglets they get a happier, chilled out mummy who is lots and lots of fun. Though I have to say that the ironing never gets done and my house could be cleaner.

[Lucyad]

I have had a horse since my now 2.5 year old daughter was under 1. The only way I can manage though is to keep him at home, so it is still techincally legal when I leave her sleeping in the house to go into the garden to muck out!! My OH isnt reliably home every evening, so in winter it is the only way I can manage without going full livery. I work full time as well, and it is difficult to spend as much time riding as I would like, but particularly with these light evenings I ride after she is in bed (with OH in the house!), and at weekends when we take turns to look after her.

She also has her own pony now, and loves going for pony rides and brushing him, so it looks like she will be joining me on hacks very shortly! She also loves going to horse shows to watch me jump!

[kat1]

My girls are age 2 and 5. I also work full time as a teacher so whenever I am off, my kids are too - eeek!

However, although having ponies bankrupts me on a monthly basis, it actually saves money where kids are concerned. No need to pay a fortune at the wacky warehouse - just take some chocolate buttons and a wellies and find a puddle and SPLASH! My kids are constantly filthy and never ill!

I did concede to buying my eldest a pony when she was 2 so we have the pony now for them both to ride. My eldest is into going to shows and we do LR dressage now but really at home, it is 10 mins in the saddle and we have had enough, she loves groming, feeding, mucking out etc.

I do keep a buggy at the stables though for my youngest as you cannot turn your back without her being head first in a water bucket or heading towards a horses rear end so if I am busy, she sits in there so I know she is safe (although there is often objection as she wasnts to help!!)

Hubby is a gem, I go to stables at 6am to feed, muck out and turnout etc and get home for 7, He gets kids up and gives them their brakfast - I then dress them and take them to nursery / school etc on my way to work! - summer is obviously easier when ponies are out. I do look mucky still when I get to work but Iteach PE so by period 1 , I look a state anyway!!!

After school I lunge or my eldest rides etc before picking youngest up from mums. Ponies tucked up by 5 in winter (nip back to chen on them through)
My serious schooling takes place at weekends - portable DVD player in car and car next to sand paddock - works a treat or I leave them at home with hubby.

Babies and horses are easier than toddlers - they dont argue! - I have spent many shows sat on trailer ramps bottle feeding babies between classes!!

When my other half complains about the cost of keeping our **** machines, I remind him how much our kids get out of it - works every time lol!

[suzanne7575]

thanks all

I guess i am lucky in that i don't work full time. i am a bank nurse so i work when i want to and at the moment it is just 1 nightshift a week, although once kids are t school i would be increasing that to 2 nights per week, however as i don't do them together I can manage with just a few hours sleep.

I know my 5 and 3 year olds would not be very manageable at the moment to take them with me, they would be fine for horse chores as they could help out with mucking out etc. but they couldn't be trusted to sit quietly and watch whilst i was riding in the school, so riding during the holidays would be difficult and would be restricted to either very early in the mornings or late in the evening when OH is around.

If i could take kids with me at weekends I'm sure hubby would be quite pleased to get some peace and quiet.

As I've said though i don't even want to consider it until both are at school full time so another year at least and maybe in another year they will be older and more sensible.

I am also conscious that they will both fall in love with riding and want their own ponies and that will make life a little easier although not sure financially we can afford a horse for me and ponies for the kids unless i send OH on a job hunt or go full time myself and I've kind of got used to being a lady of leisure

[blues mum]

I only commited myself full time to a horse once my boys were 10 and 16 (sorry ) untill then i part shared and took lessons ect.
And they still make me feel guilty when i sneak off for a quick hack!

[Joyscarer]

I waited until my little one started at school full time.

I was determined that my hobby would remain MY hobby and I would not inflict it on hubby or daughter. My daughter isn't into horses and I don't want to force my interest in horses on her. She is an only child so doesn't have other siblings to play with (which is a shame as that would make things easier) and is only 4 so I wouldn't expect her to be able to amuse herself. I certainly can't ride if I have her with me as it would not be posible to ride effectively and supervise my daughter at the same time so I don't try.

I am lucky because I am a housewife so I spend lots of time down the yard on term time weekdays. Weekends are precious family time. Hubby works long erratic hours and we relish our family time together. I get up very early at the weekends and do a flying visit so I can be back just as they are both waking up. It doesn't intrude on our time that way :)

Now it is the summer holidays, Joy is effectively turned away and I grab and opportunity I can to do a bit more than a flying visit. My dad is having my daughter 1 morning a week so I can have a riding lesson on Joy. If hubby is home anytime before 7pm then I go down the yard in the evening to ride - I have only managed this once since daughter broke up although later visits still allow me to spend time pampering Joy and poo picking.

Although I love the fact that my daughter is on holidays so I can spend time with her, I still really miss my me time and am more stressy for not having my weekday fixes!

[moli]

Very interesting thread for me as I hope to start family soon and wonder how I will fit it in with horse and am also a nurse but work earlys and lates. Have thought that I might get a share or give her a few months off. Where do you live as I livery near Perth but on the fife side? You can come and ride my mare!!!!!!

[suzanne7575]

Very interesting thread for me as I hope to start family soon and wonder how I will fit it in with horse and am also a nurse but work earlys and lates. Have thought that I might get a share or give her a few months off. Where do you live as I livery near Perth but on the fife side? You can come and ride my mare!!!!!!

Have Pm'd you

[Ruskii]

I solved that one - I have three labradors instead of kids! :p
:D:D

Ditto ;)

[doolally_tap]

My two sproglets are aged 8 and 5. After almost a decade out of the saddle (apart from the odd hack on occasion), I took up riding again when my youngest started school last September. The horse-bug bit immediately and my two-weekly private lessons soon became weekly, then weekly plus a weekly hack - it was costing me a fortune!!

I really don't have the time to be able to devote to a horse of my own - unless I could have afforded to keep a horse on full-livery (which I can't! :rolleyes:), so the best solution for me was to part-loan/share. The arrangement I have means the horse is 'mine' for 2/3 days per week and I can ride on other occasions too if I feel like it and the owner isn't riding. All share arrangements differ and it's just a case of finding one that suits both you and the horse's owner.

I'm always amazed at how many horse-owners are looking for reliable sharers and wish I'd known about this type of arrangement years ago. It's an arrangement that works both ways though - the owner gets a contribution (usually, though some don't ask for one) towards shoes and upkeep, and also get to have a couple of 'days off' a week, lessening the responsibility of horse-ownership for them.

Of course, this type of arrangement may not be for you - being the 'owner' of a horse may be what you want. But at least this way you can share responsibility and leave time for your family as well.

[Mary Poppins]

Before I had my son I used to have 2 loan horses, spend 3 hours per day at the yard and most of the weekend. I now have a 6 month old son and haven't ridden since he was born. I find that he takes up all my time and energy and there is nothing left for riding. I do try and go to the yard once or twice a week to pamper my horses and give them a good groom (I am not responsible for their care but can still see them when I like) but don't have any brain space left to concentrate on riding (or money until I start working again). We are now planning baby number 2 so it will just get worse!

I do still plan to get a horse one day - but am thinking that is about 10 years away now when my children would much rather go into town with their friends then hang around with me.

[baybabe]

as a mum of 4 i class myself as lucky where we keep the ponies is our home/yard/office so i can juggle my time as much as i can, although i cant wait til my little boy goes to nursery this year as it will be 3 hours to myself, something i havent had for 10 years as lack of relatives and babysitters close to hand. my ponies wont know whats hit them this year theyll never be rid of me.:)

[moli]

Have pm'd you.

[Esther.D]

I am lucky to have both a horsey o/h and horsey parents who love to both do horsey stuff and to baby sit (I have a 19 month old daughter).

[colettybetty]

Was just wondering this myself.....due to a family tragedy two weeks ago, have my 2 year old grandson living with me, while he is a darling, I've forgotten how I used to do stuff while juggling a toddler :rolleyes:
Any tips on how to manage with 3 horses on DIY and even ride (heaven forbid !)

[ShariN]

When my son was young wayyy back when.

I hired a babysitter to watch him at the barn I had my horse at.
Was a big place with 4 very large arena's and so on. There was a nice big barn for people with rest rooms, food and a lounge area with TV. Not fancy at all..just clean.
She kept him happy in the safe area(people barn) while I was riding and I was able to keep an eye on both of them. Did that for 3 years and it worked out well. He was one of those very quiet,,would never notice he was there children..which worked in my favor.
I would ride from 1 hour to 4 hours just about every day.

So I would not be too tired to do house work..I did all the cleaning in the morning..set out dinner stuff. Then went to the barn and rode. Worked out great.

[Joyscarer]

Was just wondering this myself.....due to a family tragedy two weeks ago, have my 2 year old grandson living with me, while he is a darling, I've forgotten how I used to do stuff while juggling a toddler :rolleyes:
Any tips on how to manage with 3 horses on DIY and even ride (heaven forbid !)


The only way I can ride is when others take on some childcare. I don't have that many that can do this and hints aren't enough, I have to actually ask them.

The other thing that I never mentioned before is that I am lucky because my YO has 3 kids of her own and the yard is seen as a family place to be. Many yards don't like having children there so if you do want to take kids with you then you have to find a child friendly yard. I love my daughter dearly but prefer it when she isn't with me so I have every sympathy for those that don't have kids and find themselves pestered by other peoples that can't concentrate on the horses and the children to be able to supervise them effectively.

[horsemadmandy]

I have two boys when I bought my horse they were 3 and 7 years old. I am a nurse with set shift patterns so that makes life a little easier but without a horsey hubby or family I find it hard to juggle at times- especially winter as I have to be the only one to look after my lovely horse. I get up before hubby goes to work which means up at 5.30 to get to stables at 6am and have to be back by 7am- luckily he is home by 6pm so I go out for the 2nd visit then- when children are poorly it makes me quilty that I do not ride as much as I would like to and have constant moaning from my mother that the house would be soo much tidier if I did not have a horse:rolleyes: She forgets I work full time with no childcare support at all ! The children are now 6 and 10 and I rarely take them to the yard at all- blessing really they really do not like my hobbie and make it obvious. I with all this do juggle the time because my hubby although not horsey at all does support me in the keeping of a horse as he knows I would be very unsane without one:D:D I did not want to wait to have my dream as life can be very short for some and I may not be able to even get on a horse in 10 years time never mind ride and develop my riding . Well thats my input- with all the obstacles I really do enjoy my horse and my special time with him:):)

[sheryl]

Hi,
I have 2 girls aged 6 and 9. I have had horses all of their lives. For the last 2 1/2 yrs, I've had a youngster, who is not safe around children at all:rolleyes:. (Wasn't to know that when I got him as a yearling:o:). )
I have to say, taking the children to the farm is a nightmare, particularly in the winter, when theres mud everywhere, and its so cold :(.
Doing anything with my youngster, with the kids around, is a definate no-no!

I even invested in expensive Nintendo DS's and loads of games, to keep them quiet.

Its all OK in school time, but I just find it impossible in school holidays :(

[suzanne7575]

thanks everyone on their input on this. I'm sure that because i work just a couple of nights a week i would be able to juggle it around and would manage pretty well as long as i was at a yard where there is someone who could turn out for me or bring in should the need arise

[H & Bailey]

just me! i had a horse before the kids. so they fit in around the horses:rolleyes: that sounds quite bad doesnt it,no wonder OH isnt amused with me!.i think if it had been the other way round i wouldnt have got a horse.
I have 3 kids 12,6,4. and 3 ponies on land i rent.
The worst bit is winter and having to take a baby or toddler with you..
Now mine are a bit older it wasnt too bad as my youngest was at nursery on a morning so could go up the field to do everything i needed then picked him up.
This summer holidays are dragging.. but we tend to go up ,take loads of toys with us,plus i have a big playhouse with old toys in it there for them to play,they also like sweeping ,making feeds,pulling ragwort and brushing the ponies.I dont get to ride but was going to take the kids out in the trap and megan was going to learn to ride..but unfortunately Bruno got lamminitis so we have only gone out once in the trap and she had 1 ride .
When my OH is home i can get out for a short ride on B , but not too many times as he gets grumpy and feels neglected as our time seems to fit around the ponies.probably would be easier if he was on a yard and i wouldnt have to keep popping up to check on them!:D
It can be done.as someone else said it lets the kids let off steam without having to pay for a wacky warehouse visit!

[suzanne7575]

I think my kids would really enjoy it as they love doing anything outside and anything that involves muck!!!! We also live in a flat so don't have a garden so i do try to get them outside doing things as much a possible and they love to help mummy.

[bevy]

We had 4 horses( well 2 and 2 ponies) when my daughter found out she was 34 weeks pregnant( and had been competing every weekend up till then, but that's another story). I have a sharer who helps out at weekends. Right from the day after she came out of hospital, the little one has come to the stables. At first we would time pooh picking/stable duties around her sleeping, then as she got bigger and more alert, we would take the car seat into the barn. We used to sit it on top of the freezer(rug store) where she could watch. It did mean that unless someone had her we couldn't ride together, but they still got exercised in rotation. When she reached the age of sitting by herself, we invested in a basket chair which she loved. Now of course at the ripe age of 2 3/4 we have to have a proper saddle!!!!!! She adores going to the yard and helps out with poohpicking, grooming, and feeding. She even tries to pick out feet, and it's lovely to watch any of them patiently standing with a leg in the air while she taps their foot with a hoof pick.
It can be worrying when she stands under the TB or holds out a minute piece of hay for them to eat. Touch wood they are so good with her. Some of the riding has had to take a back seat as had competitions, but some sacrifices are worth it.

[pedilia]

I have three small children ranging from 8 months to years, it works for me mainly due to a very understanding hubby, good babysitters and I have recently taken on a sharer.
I take my children to the yard and they 'help' mucking out and filling haynets etc.

It is hard work but since I wouldn't be without Storm it has to be done!!

[clarek]

Hi! I've two children, 6 & 8, neither who are horsey, and a husband who is definitely non horsey ( in the 8 month I have owned my horse he has been to the yard 3 times!! and when I took the kids down to my mums for a week, he wouldn't even go down to the field to feed him, I had to ask a friend). How's that for support.

Anyway, during term time is not a problem as they are at school and I don't work during the week, the only complaints I get are from hubby that the housework isn't done and that I love the horse more than him (it's a close contest ;).

Weekends I work nights so I take the kids to the yard during the day while he goes fishing and I'm lucky that there are a few other mums there and they all go off and play in Kenny 's field while I do some schooling. As for helping out, that'd be the day. Just keeping out of the way and not making too much noise is a bonus.

In the holidays it's harder but fortunately Kenny lives out more or less so I generally go down in the evenings when hubby gets home from work, so I don't have to take the gang with me. But if I want to ride I bribe them with some sweets and the good old nintendo ds.

Hubby does find it hard, he didn't really realise how much time a horse would take up, and he does have his moans, but the kids are fairly accomodating. We even played football and had a picnic in Kenny's field during the summer hols, just so that I could have a bit of quality time with Kenny. He wasn't impressed and didn't like the ball.

I found sharing was a good option when the kids were younger as I only had to split half my time, and it didn't include the weekends, I only did three days a week. Might be worth checking the notice boards and the horsey shops or asking around.

Any way good luck and don't let the kids rule your life!!:)

[horsemadmandy]

Hi
since my last post I have had a breakthrough with my oldest child:) I was looking forward to going to a show and got my horse already and outfit bought for me _ Then hubby decided to do major work in house on project that has taken 6 years so far and I felt I needed to be there as lots of electrical work involved etc- felt very guilty going out for the whole day:eek: I however did put my case across and showed that I would not be a push over every time as I felt mad I had arranged this for weeks :mad: Well I had a fab time with horse anyway as oldest son felt sorry for me and offered to come and video me and horse and have our own show:) I plaited horse up show style , he was already bathed and ready to go and son took camcorder and watched us in arena and did a lovely job- so proud:) Consistency has paid off at last:D:D never give in or up they will come around- where there is a will there is a way:):):)

[rubysmum]

i gotmy daughter a pony - at least then she had her own jobs to do - i do no housework [horse owner is just another word for slattern lol] and quite often invite non-horsey friends to meet me at yard in hopeless attempt to keep some non mud based social life going - children can be v supportive - i have to work at yard on sat & sun to help pay for hoss & pony - my daughter gets up at 6.30 every week end & comes with me - i guess its harder for those whose kids dont share their interest

[tasnik blazze]

hi my kids are 6 and 10, i started to learn to ride when the youngest one was 4...basically (seeing we have the horse at home) i only rode once a week when i had my lessons at the start. Then my youngest would have to sit on the fence or play with the dog while potted around in the paddock i never really got much done ......murphys law as soon as my butt hit that saddle she needed to go toilet or fell over or something....
The person teaching me to ride use to say to me just tell them it is mummy time and that you need a hour to yourself (she didn't have any kids then she now has a 8 month old and her butt hasn't seen a saddle for MONTHS. "I can never seem to find any time..." she says.)
My partner worked shifts so he never really helped by looking after the kids. He still works shifts so if there is any riding on weekends with my friends i either miss out or get my mum to watch the kids. My eldest is in a wheelchair so that makes it a little difficult to get baby sitters...she needs to be fed and toileted etc.
My sanity saver is the fact the kids are now both at school so me boy gets to be ridden at least 3 times a week while they are there.
Blazze didn't know what hit him when my youngest started school he when from being ridden maybe twice a week for half an hour to 4 times a week for 2 hour or more hacks.
School holidays are a pain in the butt not much riding apart from paddock work.
But i think if you have a supportive partner and family that can give you a few hours a couple times a week so you can enjoy your horse i say bring it on.

[Retty]

Hmmm... my daughter just came with me! At first I just had a share horse, but she would happily help with mucking out etc and sit at side of arena whilst I rode as then she got a ride after :D

Just a thought.... could you advertise for a pony mad teenager to baby sit for you whilst you ride in return you could let her have a ride?

[Joyscarer]

I am really looking forward to Tuesday, my monster is back at school and I can get on with riding and training Joy again :D

[suzanne7575]

I am really looking forward to Tuesday, my monster is back at school and I can get on with riding and training Joy again :D

aren't we awful parents wishing our kids back to school :D

i like the idea of a pony mad teenager to help babysit/ride that could work

[Joyscarer]

aren't we awful parents wishing our kids back to school :D


YEP :D

Down in Hampshire they keep threatening to go on the semester system where the kids are off for 2 weeks each break. Far more sensible than the 7 weeks E has had :)

[coyote]

aren't we awful parents wishing our kids back to school :D



errrrrr NO!!!!! :eek::eek: i have FOUR children and my youngest (4yrs old) is starting primary school,so i will have 1 at secondary and 3 in primary school yippeeeeeeeeeeee i will have from 9am -3.30pm all to myself,to play with nelly all day,if i want to ,heavan!!!!!!!!:D:D:D

[hobit630]

I have full time job and have been a single parent for the pass four years. My son is now 5 and 'helps' at the yard. He will give me a hand mucking out filling water buckets etc. I have brought him his own little wheel barrow as he is keen to help out. I juggle work, son, horse and two dogs. But i have found that the time i spend down the yard with my son, especially now he is older is great time spent together. When he was young I kept him entertained with dvd player in the car. He has been to shows with me from the age of two and now stands at the ring side with friends cheering his mommy and tells me when i haven't done well lol.:)

[Tiggy02]

Mine are all grown up now and did not have horses after they were born till youngest was 3 years old luckily had family near by to help look after them and then I got 3 step children aged 7, 9 and 11 they just used to tag along and amuse themselves or help with stables etc and if we went to a show they had to come as well and all slept in horse area if we were away overnight - its not easy but kept me sane with 5 kids.