Advice on how to relax......

[GG36]

Well I had a pretty rubbish lesson last night so thought I'd ask you guys for some advice.

I've had about 16 hours in the saddle now & I've been gradually getting better in my seat, not losing stirrups so much & being a bit more confident (even had a go on a group lesson on Saturday!). However, until last night I'd always been on the most reliable RS horses - they're very forgiving & although a bit lazy they've been very good to me.

Last night I was given a different horse to ride, I'd heard a few people say very complimentary things about how he is to ride & my RI said that he was a 'push button' horse. I should've known I'd have probs LOL. It was refreshing to not have to urge a horse forward for a change but OMG was he bouncy! I found it very hard to sit for the canter transition & consequently I tensed up, he trotted faster, I bounced more, I tensed up more............Eventually RI put me on the lunge & after 10 mins or so I felt confident enough to canter solo but it was far from pretty!

My major problems last night arose from me using the reins for balance so when pushing him into canter with legs & set my arms were holding him back resulting in faster trot. Which lead to my next problem of tensing up instead of sitting deeper into the saddle. Can you give me any advice on how to deal with either of these?

Thanks for getting this far!

[cwb]

I had exactly the same problem yesterday with a bouncy trot - the only suggestion other than just practice is ask to do some trotting without stirrups to develop your balance.

When asking for canter you need to lift your hands and push them away from you to give the horse room to stretch forward.

[Skib]

One of the big quandaries when teaching adults to ride is how to balance the lessons between teaching the new rider how to control and steer a horse (that is how to communicate with a horse, using your brain)
and developing their balance and stability in the saddle which is done (usually on the lunge) by encouraging the rider to be passive, to almost instinctively absorb physical information about moving with a horse.

I had my lunge lessons after I had been riding for about 2 years. I rode on the lunge week after week and it didn't worry me because I was also hacking a lot.

You are in the very early days of riding - you cant learn to do everything at once, but if you find it hard to relax on a horse may be some good lunge lessons are the answer? As you found, these also help you to sit on a horse with a bouncier trot.
One immediate solution though is to breath slowly and deeply. Start in walk, feeling the legs of the horse move under your seat and count the steps while you breathe slowly in and out. Then do the same in trot. Feel the hind legs move under you and breath as you count the steps. Then do the same in canter.
People always look on canter as the problem. But that is because they try to do too many other new things at the same time (like relax). Practice in walk, and in sitting and rising trot first and by the time you get to canter it will be second nature.
Counting the steps taken by the horse is a very important part of learning to ride. When the horse lifts one of its back legs off the ground, your seat bone on that side dips down. You should feel your seat dip first one side and then the other. the movement is the same in trot, only faster. Your body should learn to move naturally with this, and the horse under you will find it easier to move. You will be impeding it less. But you also have the advantage of gradually learning which leg of the horse is doing what - so that later on when you want to canter or do a particular turn, you can ask the horse at the moment when the horse is in the ideal position to do what you are asking.

[GG36]

Skib,

Thanks for your reply - I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "you cant learn to do everything at once". Unfortunately I put a lot of pressure on myself in life to do everything I do to a pretty high standard that I invariably fail to meet it LOL. My RI also said that part of the problem is me getting frustrated with myself for not being able to do things straight away & that fuels the tenseness & the circle becomes worse - hence I'm glad she put me on the lunge last night to start breaking it down for me.

Next lesson I'll ask to slow the pace back down & pay much more attention to the movement of the horse & how I should fit in with that. Counting is good for me as I find it concentrates my thoughts and allows me to loosen up & bit so will definitely make sure I try that out next Weds.

[Nimbus65]

I'll just echo what Skib said. I've been riding four (plus) years and am having a lunge lesson today. Developing a "deep" seat (which is the secret riding code for sitting relaxed, soft and deep into the saddle in all gaits/paces) takes years. Deepness of seat (or lack of bounce) is also dependent on good balance, which also takes time.

Like you, I expect an awful lot from myself and I get very frustrated if I can't do something right away or see tangible results. I've had to learn (and accept) that riding is a sport that takes a long time to really master . . . especially if you come to it as late as I did (I didn't really begin having lessons until I was 38).

If you can, book some lunge lessons and do as much work as you dare without stirrups. Time, practice and muscle memory will mean that you will develop both effective balance and a deeper seat . . . and both of those will mean you will find it easier to sit to a more active and bouncy trot (which, in turn will mean you'll achieve a smoother, less hurried canter transition).

One thing that helped me recently (and I'm sure I'll be using it today!) was the description my instructor gave me of sitting to the trot as being like "riding a wave." If you keep your lower back soft and allow your hips to follow the movement of the horse, it really is a sort of rolling/breaking wave motion (at least it is to me!).

Hope that helps.

N

[vonandiz]

I'd echo the above advice about lunge lessons (as long as they're good ones).

If you tie your reins up whilst you're on the lunge it will help get you out of the habit of using them to help balance yourself. Stirrupless and reinless at the same time will help develop a secure seat (but its a bit scary on a bouncy horse:D).

You may find that next week you'll just be more used to the bounce factor on this horse and you'll relax more into it anyway. I used to get really worried when I rode a different horse and it always used to take me a lesson or two to find my balance and rhythm again. The longer you ride the less time you'll need to adapt between horses.

I know its really really tricky but try not to put yourself under too much pressure (as you mentioned its counter productive). Its meant to be fun - try humming to yourself or singing. Humpty Dumpty is a particular favourite of mine. :D Good luck.

[Mistertron]

Try 'Rescue Remedy' from Boots. It helps calm you down and keep relaxed. Its a herbal mixture and you can get it in spray form - i can't live without it! :D

[Pibstar]

hi you have had some really good advice already. For the amount of hours in the saddle I think your coming along lovely. Try not to push yourself so quickly. Some days it will be your hands other it will be something else. Where abouts in kent are you? I am kent too near bexley :)

[Nazdaq]

You sound alot like me, I would say practice things that you are good at to boost your confidence and maybe at the end of each session push yourself for a small amount of something that you are less confident with. For example, I love to trot and I am great at it, so I deliberately go into beginner's lessons where it is mostly trot. Then at the end of each lesson (say last 10 mins) I will try for a canter and sometimes we get canter becuase the confidence from trotting round all lesson spills into the canter and makes me feel better about it.

Also if you feel yourself tensing up tell yourself off!! It really works, believe me. :p

The other thing I would say is meet up with Pibstar if you can, she is a GREAT confidence-giver and has helped me loads with my canter fears. (hope you don't mind the ad Pibs) :D

[GG36]

Thanks for all your replies. Along with all of these & reading a post on a different topic that basically stated that we're riding to have fun I approached my group lesson today with a different frame of mind - that I was just going to enjoy myself & not put pressure on myself to be 'perfect'. You know what? I had the most fun & enjoyable lesson I've had for a long time!

I rode a bouncy horse - Anderson, a 16ish hh TB type - narrow & commonly referred to as 'the bone shaker'. He was fab - I didn't have to spend most of my time & energy trying to push him on & could relax & enjoy myself - cue lots of 20m circles in trot when in open order (couldn't sit as too bouncey!) & just lots of grinning!

Everyone else had a few goes over a very small cross pole but the instructor knew I hadn't even attempted 'jumping' or anything other than poles so I got to trot & canter over poles in the jump seat (or my version of it - it was my first go of trying it & it didn't feel too natural!) on my turn. I can't wait for my private half hour on Weds now :D

PS: Pibstar - I'm in Medway but did have a few lessons at a RS in Bexley right at the beginning. I'd go back there to hack as Joydens Wood is fab but there were too many folk having lessons at the same time for an absolute beginner to deal with. Horses were lovely though.

[Nazdaq]

yaaaay fantastic! It was a hack with Pibstar through Joyden's wood where I had my first proper canter and that is what did the most for my confidence. Go back there if you can, it will do you wonders. :D :D :D
I am glad you had a good lesson, that's what it's all about FUN! Who cares if we don't look pretty on the horse, as long as we ride functionally and safely (no hurting the horse or falling off!) :D :D :D

[GG36]

Nazdaq, that is precisely the attitude I took today & it paid off. In fact it was only my 2nd group lesson - last week I was so nervous I was ready to back out as I was really worried about riding in front of folk & them thinking how rubbish I was & holding them back. But today people actually made an effort to have a bit of a laugh with each other and I think everyone had a great time :D

I'd def go back to the other RS to go hacking in the woods again - think i'll leave it until the spring though - then I'll have a bit more experience under my belt. Although no doubt I'll be nervous before going there again - new horses & RIs to contend with!

Wales to Joydens Wood is a bit of a trek for a hack?!!! Glad to hear you enjoyed it though, it really is lovely there :)

[Nazdaq]

that's excellent then for only your second group lesson. :D I used to do the exact same thing, be scared I would hold others back, and in fact I was proved right that I was holding people back when I got kicked out of the group lesson I was riding in (back in April) for not being able to canter. YO/RI said that I should go back to private lessons, so I had a strop and didn't go back there for a while :p

Went to stay with the parents for summer hols and that is when I hacked in Joyden's wood, although now I am firmly settled in Wales so I don't think I will get the opportunity again (boo hoo) :D

Now I am in a beginner's group in which far from being the worst in the group I am actually the best (it's a big confidence boost I can tell you!) :D :D

Hope the good lessons continue for you. :)

[Pibstar]

PS: Pibstar - I'm in Medway but did have a few lessons at a RS in Bexley right at the beginning. I'd go back there to hack as Joydens Wood is fab but there were too many folk having lessons at the same time for an absolute beginner to deal with. Horses were lovely though.

I know medway well, went to school there. That RS is where I learnt and will have to go back to when I am riding again. Mollie is kept just up the road. Let me know if your back up this way in the spring. Might join you on a hack!! if mollie isnt being mental by then:D I should be back hacking in APril/May so just enough time to get some practice in:p

if you go back to that RS let me know I'll give you some tips on who to ride and who to have lessons with................... and when there not so busy too :cool:

glad you had such a great lesson. tip: next time you ride, ask someone to video you for a bit, watch it after. I bet you look 100% better than you think....................

[GG36]

Cheers Pibstar, may well take you up on the offer :) Am always near that neck of the woods as hubby is originally from Welling so we're up there quite often.

I rode Barclay and Bally when I was there & had at least 3 different instructors which was half the prob as you could request certain ones but it always got changed & so were forever having to go over what you'd covered already (not a lot in my case as an absolute beginner lol).

There really are some lovely places up there to keep horsies & ride - there's really nothing in Medway!

PS: My OH did video me a couple of months back & it wasn't as pretty as I thought I'd look - I looked as if I was sitting in an armchair, not correct riding position at all LOL

[Nazdaq]

I had at least 3 different instructors which was half the prob as you could request certain ones but it always got changed


That is what it is like at my RS as well, it is hard sometimes becuase some RIs are really harsh and constantly shout at you (not confidence-building in my book) but then there are some really nice RIs who help build confidence and get you to have a go at the same time.

I hope you have a better lesson soon. :D

[GG36]

Nazdaq - luckily I haven't had any that shout at me but probably only because they might have felt awkward shouting at someone older than them lol. I like my current RS as they only have 3 full time RIs & 1 part time & you're able to book privates with a particular RI & it's not changed unless they're off sick or the vet is coming out & they need to be there (or a similar emergency). Horse selection is generally left to the RI although if you really don't like a horse for a particular reason it's noted. Everything is computerised & after each lesson the RI notes down what you've done, how you've gotten on & who you rode so that it's there for review before the next lesson. It's not as cheap as the RS near Pibstar but it's a bit less chaotic!

[Pibstar]

Nazdaq - luckily I haven't had any that shout at me but probably only because they might have felt awkward shouting at someone older than them lol. I like my current RS as they only have 3 full time RIs & 1 part time & you're able to book privates with a particular RI & it's not changed unless they're off sick or the vet is coming out & they need to be there (or a similar emergency). Horse selection is generally left to the RI although if you really don't like a horse for a particular reason it's noted. Everything is computerised & after each lesson the RI notes down what you've done, how you've gotten on & who you rode so that it's there for review before the next lesson. It's not as cheap as the RS near Pibstar but it's a bit less chaotic!


that school sounds posh....;) is it camp something or something camp outside sittingbourne?

[GG36]

Posh? Well I did see a gucci bag on the arm of one of the women in my group lesson (when she was waiting to pay - not when she was riding LOL)!! But yes, it is just outside Sittingbourne. I hear one of their old instructors is now at Bexley....

[Pibstar]

Posh? Well I did see a gucci bag on the arm of one of the women in my group lesson (when she was waiting to pay - not when she was riding LOL)!! But yes, it is just outside Sittingbourne. I hear one of their old instructors is now at Bexley....

hilary maybe? she has been there a while though. I was going to take my niece there but its very expensive. so tried another just along the way which seemed ok for her. couldnt believe their prices for 121 hour lesson!!!:eek::eek: £45-50 or something. it cant be more than £27 near me and thats within the M25............ dont get it???

[GG36]

I do believe it's Hilary.

I think it's that expensive as there's really nothing else this way. Matthews RS which was around in my younger days has long closed down. There's a woman that does private lessons on her horses in Rainham but the 'yard' is v small & looked after by teenagers which is just a bit intimidating to an adult beginner. Other than that I think it's Faversham which is too far to go really - haven't found any other BHS registered places any closer than Sittingbourne or Bexley.

[Pibstar]

thought I would show you the school she went to just for info. details are on NR so must be BHS registered. I am sure it is as I wouldnt have taken my niece there. Its very basic but nice, small indoor school. just a tad cheaper for group lessons.

http://www.newrider.com/Riding_Schools/schooldetails.php/527.html

Hilary is very nice, knows her stuff :cool:

[GG36]

I have heard good things about Hilary :)

Unfortunately Teynham is just that bit too far really - I can make CP in 20 mins through the lanes &, as I work in London & have weekday evening lessons I need somewhere fairly close. I may well have a drive down there one Sunday & have a look though - just cos I'm a nosey parker!