Help with Overly Bonded Horses

[Soleil]

Okay,

I don't know if this is the right forum for this question, but I'll ask it anyway :)

The mare I've been working with for 3 years is very bonded to one of her pasture mates (who she spends 24/7 with him.) And so thus that makes her almost impossible to work with on the ground and sometimes under saddle (though it happens on the ground while lunging more then it does while under saddle), because if I keep her buddy inside she doesn't pay attention to me and if I shut the door to the pasture and try and work her in the arena she has a fit (Started bucking while I was trying to get her to lunge...unsuccessfully because of her little outburst.) Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone had any tips on how to get her to pay attention to me while working with her?

Btw, this is a 16 year old mare who's VERY well trained, so she should be able to lunge perfectly fine (But since being so bonded she's become almost like a green horse again towards lunging.)

[I_Love_Ponies]

You should slowly seaperate them and let them get used to being away from each other. You can start out by giving them one stall space and slowly move them away from each other.



MEGAN:)

[galadriel]

This is a long, sometimes boring (and sometimes VERY exciting road). My two mares were together for 3 years before I bought them. They used to throw fits if one walked behind a partition and they couldn't see each other (yet were 5 feet apart!)

Here is how I dealt with it:

The barn is between the stable and the pastures. First few weeks, I brought them both inside, put one in a stall, tacked up the other.

Working Mare went out to the arena; her buddy Stalled Mare is visible through the barn window but far enough away that she can't get to her. I free-lunge Working Mare until she watches *me*, rather than her buddy. As soon as she really is working, not just screaming, I pet her and reward her, and take her in.

Switch out Stalled Mare for Working Mare, repeat. Each got the experience of being apart, having to work, and not being able to get back with her buddy until she focussed on *me* instead of her separation anxiety. Generally, what I did was snap the lunge whip and say, "Me! Pay attention to ME! You're working here!" (heh)

Since you're only trying to wean the mare off her buddy, you only need to do half the work; bring her in and MAKE her focus--then reward her and let her go.

Eventually, I put them in different-but adjacent turnout areas overnight.

Then for a week, I turned one out and kept one in (the turnout areas are NOT adjacent to the barn).

We have progressed to being able to take one mare to an overnight show without either breaking into a panic. Each can be worked *safely* on her own. I can trailer them with or without each other. It took months of daily or every-other-day work, but thankfully they are both still eager to perform and ready to be pets--as opposed to being scarred by the experience and not wanting to work/have anything to do with people anymore. So: don't rush it too hard, let her go back to her buddy when she does behave, but MAKE her pay attention to you!

...

I drove 5 hours today (there & back) to get a LARGE load of hay; unstacking and loading and unloading and stacking ... I am exhausted. If what I said above isn't clear, let me know. I'll try again when I'm a little more "all there." :>

[Gracie]

I had the same problem with my mare. I got so frustrated that I just had to move my horse away from her to a different stable! It was like my horse turned in to a total different horse once she bonded. She would rear up when you were leading her in hand , for no reason! She'd brake the crossties, kick, scream, break lunge lines to run to her buddy! It was horrible!

But no one could find a good sollution so its interesting to hear this thread!

Also the lady at the barn I think was silly, she said horses weren't smart enough to create bonds & I was giving my horse too many human characteristics!urgh it was soo hard!:)

Best of luck!

[cvb]

Statement of the obvious coming up....

You do have to watch that you do not 'reward' the tantrum by letting her go back to her pal.

I know this is a fine line - you have to be quick to reward the right behaviour too and not end up having an all out fight and just increasing the horse's distress.

But if every time she throws a paddy, you let her go back to where she wants to be, you are basically teachin g her that this is a good thing to do !:(

So as Galadriel says, you need to get something positive from her before you let her go back. This can be something quite small to start off with, then ask more with time.

I have also seen the pair bond separation process broken down into even smaller steps (in magazine articles).e.g. you start by just putting a halter on one and leading it to the gate. If they stay calm they get let loose. Next step you lead one through the gate but not away. Again reward calmness. Then gradually move the horse away further and further, and extending the time.

If you case is extreme, you may need to start at this level !

[Soleil]

Thanks so much for the helpful advice, and methods :) I'll start putting them int use, and thankfully Sadie is not at the level that she can't be lead out of the pasture without freaking out. It's just when I put her to work and she has not idea were her buddy is that it's hard to work with her (her mind is focused on finding Him, not paying attention to me.)

So I definitely think what Galadriel suggested might work out the best (though I'll be putting all the suggestions to work, I really want to be able to work with her without constently trying to get her attention back on me when she starts to look for her buddy again.) And although it breaks my heart at times to have her neighing and screaming for her buddy, I know that like Cvb said if I allow her to go out to the pasture after doing this I'll be rewarding bad behavior (which is not what I want to do.) So it'll be a slow process but I'm sure it'll be all worth it in the end :)

Thanks again for the helpful advice, I really needed it :)