terribel nerves look like spoiling my dream - help

[Haflingergirl]

Hi all

As a child I rode a lot - some lessons, mainly riding anything I could beg or borrow as fast as possible :) Now aged 44 I have finally moved to the country from London and have my own horse/pony a Haflinger - I have had him for about 8 months and have been nervous for that time - not especially of him but of riding in general - then a month ago on my first real canter with him he bolted and eventually I fell off causing painful but not terrible hurt. The following week I rode in the menage and a trot again turned into a canter I couldn't manage and again I fell off re-hurting what I had already hurt. Tommy (my horse) is having some extra schooling and is behaving like a dream and I am taking some novice lessons at a school but frankly I am really scared - I love Tom and so, so wanted to have my own horse just for happy, carefree hacking, nothing else - I feel I will never get my confidence back - anyone been here? Any advice?

Many thanks

J

[Haflingergirl]

Sorry - I did go to school I promise:)

[christina010-0]

hi there i been there loads of times i was nervous when i got back on after a long break but then it was fine till i rode for a friend keepin hers fit them havin him spin an bolt with me on the moors and yes i came of but after 3rd time with cracked ribs said to her i aint got death wish then rode a placid horse after that then had a short braek this time then i had a vertical rearer that shook me loads but finally plucked up courage again and now got my connemara x and i can feel him when he starts to tense up and then he does capriols even on the road but i think now i have the experieance with all i been throug to deal with it but dont worry your not alone and things will get better i sorry it a long post and hopes this helps :):)

[vikkig]

i had a terrible fall off one of my horses and ended up in hospital and i was really nervous of riding her and especially jumping her afterwards. you have to take one day at a time and dont push yourself to canter if you dont feel comfortable, stay in trot, play some games things like that.

what one thing is making you nervous?

[Haflingergirl]

Speed frankly - and as a youngster I loved it (I am meaning speed as in going fast :-) ) I have not yet started my lessons but was invited to watch classes, a class for less nervous pupils had them cantering in an indoor school and even sat watching them I felt worried - the riders were fine so how weird was that. Then today my incredibly experienced and professional friend who runs the yard where Tommy lives reported in on his schooling saying that he was a little tricky - largely she thought, down to the wind - she was fine, I felt scared! Is it the 'out of control' thing do you think? After all I'm not daft, I have my own business and appear 'successful' but the thing I most want - to ride happily - seems to be foxing me - so sorry for long post!

J

[Beebop]

Take a step back and get your confidence at a walk and trot first. Some lunge lessons could help, you maybe would feel a bit safer knowing someone was in control. Have you tried rescue remedy for the anxiety, it does help. I wouldn't worry too much about him being silly in the wind, a lot of horses find it either exciting or scary and react accordingly. Do keep going, be positive and things will improve for you.

[Suzanne2]

Know exactly how you feel. I used to share a horse who scared the pants off me - even though he didn't exactly do anything wrong, but I was second-guessing what he might do and what would happen to me. He was a big, rangy ex-racer. I had to give him up in the end. Now share a horse who is probably no more reliable, but I trust him, so we're fine. Guess you have to wait for the switch to go off in your brain to say, this is OK, I can do it. Good luck. Think we're all mad!

[Wally]

I can't type either! :D :D

This is the trouble with the modern Haflinger, they are not the stoic plods they used to be, they are getting a bit fizzy.

Is there anyone who could ride him out for you to take the edge off him for you, every day, Haffies thrive on work and the more they do the more laid back they become. I found if they had a day off the next day the were like fire crackers, Icelandics are the same horse whether they have a day off or a year off.
What you are doing is becoming tense, gripping up and it's all getting faster and faster.
Right, you need to visualise every day, you can canter, you know you can canter and stay on. . See yourself enjoying the ride rather than tensing up. Start to associate the canter with feelings of happiness. Once you start to even get your brain in the right zone the rest will fall into place.....not literally I hope.

[*Sez*]

I had some issues with cantering my ex-racer after a serious fall during a bolt left me with several popped ribs and a dislocated shoulder. It took me almost a year to get my confidence back :o and to be honest, now that I've had several months off riding (he's been unworked since November) the idea of cantering again gets me a bit nervous.

The most important thing for me was the "doing it" part. I was unfortunate enough that my nerves were making my horse nervous, and every time I would ask for a canter I would tense - which made him freak out. Then I would freak out and occasionally bailed out because I was convinced I couldn't stop him... it was a whole freak-fest! :D

I went and had a riding session with a very good instructor and he gave me lots of distraction techniques. I'm not proud, and will admit that I was hysterical at one point - crying and screaming and desperate to stop. It was brutal! However, by calling out the names of people that I worked with and answering questions that the instructor asked as we cantered round, I found that, actually, I could stop him and if I took a deep breath and calmed myself, my horse was calmer and more willing to listen to me. I discovered that the important thing was to make him pay attention to me, so we did lots of exercises where I would canter for three strides and then trot, then ask again. With plenty of transitions, he started listening to me after a few strides of canter to see if I was going to ask for a trot transition, and if I ever felt that the canter was getting out of control, I would ask for that change to trot and then ask for the canter again.

After this, I slowly developed my confidence cantering in the school (mostly aided in the beginning by a good, trusted friend who continued the distraction techniques), but I was determined that I would never canter him on hacks. I was fine on anyone else's horse, but I didn't trust myself on my own. One day last summer, we were out by ourselves for a quiet hack on a lovely day, and I guess I just felt brave! I let him canter for a few strides and brought him back to trot then cantered him on. It was the most incredible rush to know that we could do it, we could trust each other and I was rebuilding my confidence.

I can empathise completely with your nerves, and I hope my story has given you some reassurance that many riders have been there and "recovered", so you can, too :D
Is there a horse other than your own that you can practise cantering on to begin with, just to regain some of that confidence? Then, start working on your confidence with your own. If you haven't already (or if he is completely fine being cantered by someone else who isn't nervous), then I'd recommend having all the physical issues looked at. My intial bolt was the result of a pinching saddle, but it was my own nervousness that created a bigger problem.
Good luck, and I'm sure you will get there in the end. :)

[SO1]

I am not suprised you are nervous - do you know why the pony bolted, was it scared of something and it a one off do you think or high spirits.

If your pony is more fizzy than you are happy with then you might want to look at what you are feeding and how much turnout she has. A lot of these native types have a very efficient metabolism and hard feeds can whizz them up esp if they are stabled alot so not having much time to get it out of their system.

I would suggest perhaps getting the pony going well in canter on the lunge and stopping from canter using voice commands if possible then having some lunge lessons practicising canter till you feel more controlled and confident.

If you pony is an habitual bolter then it might take a long time for him to be reschooled so you may just need to be patient.

An excellant book called Perfect Confidence by Kelly Marks might also help.

[Mimi + Me]

This is the trouble with the modern Haflinger, they are not the stoic plods they used to be, they are getting a bit fizzy.


Just what I was going to say, there's a woman at a yard near ours who breeds them and they are really feisty and headstrong, not a novice ride at all. Sorry I'm not saying you're a novice but they are not as docile as they look.

[ANN H]

Yes, been there, done that and got the T-shirt. I got my Section D 5 years ago and she was a real handful. I'm now 50, and although she can still be a real handful, with the help of a good RI, good friends, lots of Rescue Remedy and some NAF Magic Calm I'm even managing to hack out on my own. I really don't think I could cope with a plod anymore. We understand and trust each other. I think its just a case of perserverence. Good luck and keep us posted.

[jinglejoys]

If you don't feel safe don't get on...if you don't feel safe when you're on get off and work him on the ground....Better to say I don't want to get on than I wish I hadn't got on!!! That's the best advice I've been given:D

[emm]

I agree with the staying at walk and trot. School him at these paces until you feel he will stop when ever you want, doesn't matter how long it takes. Don't be pressured to canter. Do some ground work with him so he doesn't get bored and canters. Lunging and freeschooling, you can encorporate poles and jumps, then he wont need to canter with you on top. Also the more you see him canter, gradually you will feel better about it because you will know what he is doing underneath you. You can have just as much fun.

Also practice stopping him in the school by making your bottom heavier on his back and not using too much rein, eventually he will stop from your bum pressure:D

Also wear him out first with groundwork and then get on, he will be much easier to ride.

Its all very well seeing someone else ride him and he be good, but its another story when you get on. You need to build this up yourself to change your own feelings, however good he is for your trainer. The schooling is obviuosly a good thing too though.

[Kady A]

I'm a slightly nervous 44 year old too - had some similar issues with a loan horse a couple of years ago. It almost shattered my confidence. Fortunately the sanity brought to me by fellow NR members and Michael Peace sorted us out.

We have a nice Haffy at livery at work - they are definitely NOT the plods people think. Mo thrives on work, the more the merrier and is certainly "wilful" to be polite.

I won't add to the excellent advice that has already been given in this thread. Keep us posted on your progress and just remember you are never alone on NR!

[cinammontoast]

Bach's Rescue Remedy worked ruddy wonders for me after an RS horse bolted with me and I lost the plot! I was totally phobic about cantering and a friend was schooloing me on our share but I swear, it really helped! There's a thread re Dutch courage in General or Café! Take your time and don't be forced into anything you're not comfortable with: do lots of ground work to regain confidence....? :)

[sancho]

Ive been there and it took me 18 months to even get back on my mare so I understand completely.

NLP saved me and a lot of support. You will get there honestly, just dont put too much pressure on yourself. Take a step back if you have to.

Good luck.

[tracyward]

Im 36, had my mare for going on 5 years now, like you I rode lots as a child, borrowing friends ponies, going to riding schools nothing worried me in those days, I even started riding again 1 year before I got my own horse. :)

I put it down to a couple of things, 1) i'm a mum myself so its in my nature to worry now 2) owning a horse as an adult you tend to stress about everything, because you are more aware of the dangers.

We have up and down days all the time, at the moment Im nervous just going into the field to get her :eek:, but when we are out of the field i relax more. I think the fact that you admit you are nervous is the first step to making things better, try having a friend in the school when you ride, get them to talk to you so you stop thinking about all those WHAT IF'S.

There are so many of us like you, and it will get better, it's all about taking little step. Keep us posted. :D

[learner]

Just to say I sympathise so much with what you are saying, having finally bought my first horse and feeling really nervous, after a couple of bad falls on other horses, and my new horse not now looking like the sane steady type he was sold to me as. I was really encouraged to read all the replies and the fact that you have all persevered and got there - thank you! Tracy lots of luck keep us posted, I feel in the same boat! Let's just keep plugging away...

[learner]

sorry - Halflinger girl! got confused there!