Lost confidence

[Furiae]

Hello,
I had my first fall recently and ever since, my riding has just gotten worse due to a lack of confidence.
What I want to know, is how did you improve your confidence after your first (or any) fall?
Thanks, Furiae :confused:

[vimto92]

Its tricky, but I think its one of those things your only going to build by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, even if its slight.:) So in other words GET ON AND DO IT!;) It will come gradually in time (thats the thing about confidence, takes time to build up, but can be destroyed in seconds!), just believe in yourself. :)

[Skib]

I suspect the concept of what is normal plays a big part in riding happily and safely.
If you love riding, you need to accept that the occasional fall is inevitable. Falls should be avoided if possible, as they can cause serious injury. But however many years you ride, you may still fall.
It won't always be your fault and wont prove you are a bad rider.

The old fashioned way was to remount immediately and simply get on with riding.

You have to decide whether or not you are prepared to mount a horse again?

Then, after a real shock, or an accident to someone you know, I like to start riding again very gently. i.e. by not pushing myself. I wait till my injuries are properly healed. Then I have a lunge lesson or two. I ride just in the school for two or three weeks till I feel ready to hack out again. I have been riding six years and have an RI who teaches bareback, so last time, I had a bareback lesson just to prove to myself that I could still balance on a horse.

While restoring your feeling of being secure on a horse, you need to think about the cause of your fall?
Is there anything in your riding that could be worked on to prevent it happening again?
Were you being asked to ride without stirrups or to canter before you were ready and had the balalnce to do so?
Ask these questions, about why you fell. Was it unavoidable or was it due to a poor horse or poor teaching? People shouldnt really fall off in early lessons. I only ever fell once in my school lessons and that was very early on and due to instructor error.

If you are still nervous, is that because the RI has not been coachng you in the skills you need and structuring what you learn? Are you being made to do things you dont want to do?
Asking and answering these questions is the best solution I know.

[sancho]

There are lots of us on here who are overcoming massive confidence issues, some brought on by major incidents and others when riding life just throws them an 'inevitable' stumbling block to deal with!

You need to take things slowly and dont put pressure on yourself to do things too quickly (from personal experience ;))

Have a look through other posts about confidence etc, theres lots of help.

Good luck

[justsampson]

I've been there done that (and still going through it). I had to push myself. Like Skib said, ask yourself why and go from there. I've learned more from my spills (such as gripping with my knees and getting bucked off...lesson learned) than anything else.... Rest if you are injured, and then start over. Find out what the problem was first and work on it. If it means getting on the "easy" lesson horse to practice, do it. And then push yourself. But building your confidence back up is key. Everyone has taken spills, both on the flat and over fences, and climbing back on is not always easy. The satisfaction of conquering that fear is amazing though!

[Joyscarer]

You need to re-affirm exactly what you can do and except that falling off isn't going to be a regular occurence.

Work to improve what needs improving and keep on swimming as Dory says in Finding Nemo :D

[palmerlover52]

You need to re-affirm exactly what you can do and except that falling off isn't going to be a regular occurence.

Work to improve what needs improving and keep on swimming as Dory says in Finding Nemo :D

Great, now i have the song in my head! :p

I'd ditto the others, especially about doing something easy. Even if it's just a plod round the arena, as long as it gets you back in the saddle :)

I always try to get back on after, just so I don't think about it, 'cause normally I'm in the 'oof, why am I on the floor :eek:' stage rather than :eek: I fell off! I must be terrible! stage ;)

[Miki]

I had similar issues after my first fall and I am still dealing with the after effects over two years later.
I fell off a four year old my instructor put me on after a year and a half of riding. I don't ride with her anymore. I broke my pelvis and cocxix bone and was out for a long time. I still haven't seen the last of the doctor's visits that came because of this.
The best thing you can do to not loose confidence in the first place is to get right back on. If you, like me, were too hurt to do so it will be much more of a battle.
Start out slow and make sure your RI knows you are scared and are having confidence issues. They will most likely help you overcome them.
I agree that lunge lessons may help but as a person who has been lunged only once in her life can say that it is far from nessasary.
If you can it may help to remove yourslef from the setting of the accident or from the place you normally ride for a lesson or two. I got a good amount of confidence back from a session at camp on a quiet old horse and another teeny tiny pony who was lazy and wouldn't move.
If you have a horse who you feel very comfortable riding ask if you can ride them as you get your confidence back. Then you can move back to the horses you normally ride slowly.
The most important thing seems to be to not give up and to take things at your own pace. Just because you are capable of doing something doesn't mean that you are mentally ready. DO things when you think you are ready not when someone tells you you are

[rabbit]

Try setting small goals. eg. Today I will ride into the paddock, then dismount if I don't feel safe.

Then the next time, ride into the paddock, walk halfway across the paddock and come back etc.

I've gotten to the point where I can canter out in the paddock. ( I have a fear of my horse bolting)

However there are still some days when I just can't face particular things, and I just take it easy instead.

[Tatooed Lady]

The most comfortable I've felt on my horse has been when I've ridden with other, more experienced people. We've left the "comfort zone" for my mare, but since we're leaving it in company, she's better behaved, and I've got someone to talk to, laugh with, and who is able to help me past my fears. It's not so much talking about "this scares me" or "I'm afraid she's going to (insert nasty behavior here) today"....just get my mind OFF the fear, and onto more pleasant things. That way, when the horse spooks or acts a bit flighty, I'm more relaxed and better prepared to ride it out.
The people I had the most fun with are both really steady riders, with well trained horses. While riding, I've also found that the occasional quicker gait, whether trotting up a hill, or a short canter, has really helped to ease me back into a better state of mind.

[Sarah-Lou :)]

First off, i simply got back on again!
I suppose it depends how bad you fall is too...my first fall i just kind of slipped off while i was having a slow canter. Then i got back on a again and didn't really think about it bacause it wasn't a very scary fall.

I would tell your RI how you feel and ask if you can take it slow for a while, just riding a reliable horse that you know wont do anything crazy with you.
Try breathing techniques...this will help you relax while your in the saddle.
You could try rescue remedy aswell, if you take some before you ride it will help you stay calm and relaxed which will help you get your confidence back.


SL x

[candy-floss]

i was shakey fopr a while when i first fell but luckily it wasnt a bad one...all you ahve to do it tkae it slow...do circles and movements in walk that test your skill and then trot and then you will be sure you can go further....these trying technical movements will show yourself you can do it and then you will be fine :D

[Tally.]

I had a nasty fall recently after my horse reared and spun round on her back legs. I got back on her a few days later just to get 'straight back on' but i was in a lot of pain and after half an hour she woke up and started to look and spook at everything outside of the school.

I just decided that was enough for the day and got off. I was supposed to ride the next day and chickened out because i was so scared.

I havet ridden since but will be riding on sunday, i am feeling more confident as i dont hurt now so am not scared of hurting myself more. but i would be lying if i didnt say i was quite nervous about it

[ConfidenceCoach]

Just for info, a study was done on fear in animals. A rat was given an electric shock in a Lab. This rat was then taken from the room and immediatley after, another rat was brought in. The second rat had not witnessed what went on previously, but because of the pheromones in the air, the second rat basically went frantic trying to escape. It had sensed what had gone on before from the pheromones in the air.

When working with Instructors, they often say that a lot of horse related problems are solved, or ameliorated almost immediatly, when the confidence issues in the Rider are resolved.

As soon as you begin to feel nervous, your chemical composition changes, and the horse becomes aware of your fear. In your Horses eyes, your'e the Boss, so if you are afraid, then the Horse begins to become hyper vigilante. Well if its Boss is afraid, then it must have good reason to be fearful. If you are feeling afraid; get it sorted, or as soon as you begin to feel afraid stop and take a break, changing your physiology will change your emotional state... try Stopping, Exhale fully, and breathe in deeply, look up at the sky and shift your focus for a few minutes, then once you feel calm again... put a big smile on your face, and carry on... keep doing this, until you can stay on longer and longer. Practice feeling confident, it doesnt make you perfect, it makes it permanent... Good Luck... Drop me a mail if you want a eBook sent to you..:cool:

[stella_belly]

well the worst thing to do is not get back on at all. Really when you fall off you should come straight back on again. *REMEMBER* if you don't ride your pony- it will loose trust in you. then when it comes back round to riding it- it will be 100% worse!!! SO GET BACK ON!!!!;);)

[beating_hooves]

For some reason, when I fall off I don't lose confidence. :confused: I just laugh about it and get back on.

Just don't make it set back, make it an achievement by getting back on and being proud of yourself! :)

EVERYONE experiences a fall at some point in their riding life (I've had my fair few :rolleyes:) but you've just got to think to yourself 'Right so I fell off, something went wrong. It wasn't my fault or the horses fault so I will just forget about it and carry on' :D

[ConfidenceCoach]

For some reason, when I fall off I don't lose confidence. :confused: I just laugh about it and get back on.

Just don't make it set back, make it an achievement by getting back on and being proud of yourself! :)

EVERYONE experiences a fall at some point in their riding life (I've had my fair few :rolleyes:) but you've just got to think to yourself 'Right so I fell off, something went wrong. It wasn't my fault or the horses fault so I will just forget about it and carry on' :D

This is a perfect re-frame and great when you can achieve it. Everyone can react like this, its just some people have to learn the mental strategy, the 'how'; and if one person can do it...everyone can!!!

Geneticist's now believe that there are genes for everything, including confidence, its our environment that switches them on and off. Be around confident people, immerse yourself in movies and read about others who have got over a challenge, it all makes a difference. Your environment is the one the biggest indicators of how you behave. You have control of your environment, and we model others who we surround oursleves with.

Also remember you dont 'lose' confidence, you are confident that the sun will rise tomorrow? How confident are you about that... I bet a lot?,

So dont make it part of your identity, you are just suffering from a little performance tension in your riding at the moment... The words you use matter, I know it sounds a bit New Age, but studies show the words you use, makes a difference to the way you feel..:cool:

[BklynCwgrl]

Confidence Coach...you sound like you are a therapist of some sort!!

For me...I never really have any visions of grandeur. I take things slow and build up. I dont' have any deadlines that I give myself. I do what I feel comfortable with. My young mare has caused me to doubt my riding ability on many occassions. I once was sooo nervous on her that I was SOOOO sure she was going to do something silly that I literally rolled off her when she startled at something. LOL I was soooo damn tense.

Anyway...these days I am able to take her for long walk, trot, canter rides, up and down unfamiliar terrain, whatever. It's great.

The trick is to do what you are comfortable with and then push yourself little by little.

[ConfidenceCoach]

Am over in California soon, begining of June to do a workshop over 2 days...
Did you realise that you can visualise in a relaxed state to enhance your strategy, you are getting more confident everytime you do ride in a relaxed manner, so do it in your head, and your actually going to get benefit from that.

Looking forward to a bit of Sun in June... :cool:

[Gallopthrulife]

I'm so glad people are talking about this. I have generally been a fairly confident rider my whole life but I had an experience once that taught me just how much my confidence (or lack thereof) does affect my horse - and me, too.

When I was a teenager, I had a lesson with a guest instructor who was supposedly on her way to the Olympics. I was riding my instuctors horse on a familiar course and he would jump anything he was pointed at. Our first fence was a bit long and when we came up to the instructor afterward, she berated me for my horrible riding. (Mind you, I'm not bragging but I won high point of the entire show my first time out when i was 12 years old - because I love riding and used to get up at 4 am each morning to ride my pony before school. The jump wasn't all that bad.)

I did the fence again only this time there was all this doubt in my head, go, no wait, no go, no wait. This time we came in really long but still made it cause my horse was super. The instructor started screaming at me, using words like dangerous, etc. Next fence was worse. Before long, I had my horse sliding and stopping. So, the woman had me get down so she could get on and spank my horse soundly. It was horrible to watch and I knew it was my fault for coming up to the fences so wrecked emotionally that I had wrecked my poor horse, too. Maybe it had something to do with that Pheromone thing Confidence Coach mentioned but I had sure destroyed the confidence of my poor horse.

Suffice it to say, I led my horse away from the lesson fighting back tears, upset, and furious. If I could say anything, I would say trust yourself first, trust your horse second and don't let anyone else convince you to do things to wreck your confidence. When in doubt, get down. There is no shame in it. I wish I would have had the confidence to walk out on that lesson but fortunately, I did learn that I will never put myself or my horse in that sort of predicament again.