That Rant

[Trundlecat]

I'm over the personal aspects of it now so in general (plug your ears & excuse the language please).

** start of rant:

Where the hell do people at my yard get off being so bl**dy perfect & experts in everything? They've shown little to no interest in me over the last year but suddenly they know me intimately enough to lecture me on MY personal limitations & despite seeing my new horse once they KNOW that what he is doing that very bl**dy moment is lifelong behaviour that'll never stop?? The fact he's only been at the yard for 2 weeks & only been ridden there for 1 week would appear to make no difference. The fact I've been riding him at his old yard for 5 weeks & he was a darling makes no difference cos that must have been 5 weeks worth of him not being himself & this is the REAL him. The fact I've known what's been stressing him & he's responded positively when I've made changes EVERY TIME is aparently irrelevant. The fact that every day the last week we've made drastic improvements together is seemingly just a fluke & not due to the time & effort I'm putting into a damned intelligent horse who's responding really well. And finally the fact that he's a completely different horse to the stressed & frightened boy that got off the lorry 2 weeks ago certainly makes no difference.

The rate he's going we're going to be completely sorted in 6 months time & I didn't expect it to be that quick to be honest! I wish they'd all just b*gger off & leave us alone. If I'd have wanted a quiet, bombproof, general riding horse that's what I'd have got but I wanted a performance model. I don't criticise their choice & personal preferences so why can't they extend me the same courtessy? Is the fact that they "wouldn't touch TB's with a barge pole" meant to mean no one should? I happen to flipping well like them & it's always been my dream to have one & my dream is now here & I'm loving every minute of it.

My darling husband & best horsey pal have told me to ignore them because it's just jealousy & TBH I'm inclined to agree BUT IT STILL RILES ME!!!!

[I am now sat here stamping my feet & flicking "V"'s into the empty space around me]

End of rant **

I feel much better now, thanks for listening :)
TC

[Big Ears]

can only say smile sweetly at them and then ignore totally

he is behaving perfectly normally for a horse that has changed yards!

good luck.

[sancho]

You must, somehow, find it within yourself to smile sweetly at every comment, say 'thank you for your advice' and glide away serenly whilst muttering under your breath that next time he/she will end up face down in the muck heap having had a broom handle strategically placed.

People will always have the view that TBs/Arabs/chestnut everything are all mad as hell and should be avoided!!

They are called stupid, narrow minded busybodies. Most places have at least one (altho we are blessed at my yard not to!!)

The best way is to continue working with your boy and reap the rewards and then rub their faces in it when they are all gobsmacked!;):D

[Whatanejit]

Rant away lovely!

I was at a yard with know - it - alls right down to the horses feed.

Although you really want to poke their eyes out and slam the feed bin down on their fingers, in hindsight, the best thing to do is smile and say nothing.

Even if you get a hacking partner who starts trying to get info off you - whatever you do say nothing and trust no - one.

After a year at my first yard with lots of friendly, yet I knew all along bitchy girls - there is one that I could truely trust - but I took a long time working it out.

I wish you and your new ned all the best.

[Joyscarer]

Smile sweetly and be all serene and then come on here to vent your spleen :D

It's hard. I recently swapped from having my own land to sharing space with others for the better facilities and I am starting to realise how much of a compromise you have to make when being in the same space as others.

I'm not generally a fan of people :(

[orbvalley]

The world would be a much nicer place if us humans weren't in it! I've always been of the opinion that people who spend a lot of time nattering about others really don't have enough pleasant things going on in their own lives. Go ahead and secure that bond with your horse, you're doing a great job;)

[Chinarider]

You are doing a great job with your new horse. settling in takes ages for some :)

As for the peeps on your yard, just smile sweetly, before you know it they will recognize that you know what you are doing and come to you for advice so dont burn any bridges !

thank God most of the people at my yard are men, far less bitch ;)

[rhsw]

The best way is to continue working with your boy and reap the rewards and then rub their faces in it when they are all gobsmacked!;):D

Ditto to all the posts, but the above stands out so true, keep up the good work, and watch the bitches go green and greener.

:)

[Ms Kitty]

Aaaaand breath! Welcome to the world of livery yards. ;)

Nina x

[cwb]

The ONLY bitchy comments on my yard come from a man!

Usually, in life, I find that people pick up on things that have happened to them at sometime - they project their own feelings/inadequacies onto others to avoid dealing with it themselves.

So don't play their game - recognise their comments for what they are and just deal with the reality that is your horse!

[beakysian]

I'm going to go against the grain and suggest a well-placed bop on the nose...??

Personally I feel this would a) discourage further interference and b) vent the irritation caused by the last batch of advice

[magicalmac]

Wow. Hope you feel better for that. I agree with others. Smile sweetly then ignore them, it will really get up their noses far more than if they get a reaction.

[Clava]

Definately ignore them, and personally the smile would be optional as I'm a miserable old boot. TB s are wonderful, wonderful horses, if they can't see that it's their problem.

[Hippyhorse]

Oh hun how horrid, but after working/helping on many yards over the years I'm not suprised. Lots of people can't help but poke their noses into others business especially when they have nothing helpful to contribute! You know your horse better than them how ever long you've had him. I know it's hard but as others have said try to ignore them and rise above it. You will soon show them just how right you are and wrong they are when you have all his issues worked out and are the proud owner of a horse to die for! In the meant time feel free to vent here, and I'd be more than happy for you to PM and we can share tips and progress with our ex racers(well he's mine a few days a week anyway!)

[jaydevon]

ignore them, in a few months they will be eating their woods, in my experiance, bitchyness and trouble makers are normally the ones that have very sad lifes and are jelouse of what you have.

[Skippys Mum]

I'm not generally a fan of people :(

Oh Ditto Ditto Ditto:). Vent away though, keeps those of us who have their neds at home grateful for it. Occasionally I miss company and need a reality check:D

[Rabo]

You'll be fine with your horse. Have the strength to keep to what you believe is the right path and follow it, no matter what the others think.
I did and my horse has won every dressage competition she has been entered into so far, despite all the other liveries knowing what was best. Well, I left them all behind. So can you.

[Trundlecat]

Thank you so much everyone, you've restored my faith in human beings. I'm not the sort to bow to bullying & people sticking their noses in doesn't usually bother me much but when I went to ride last Thu I felt my bottle had gone a bit & it was all thanks to them. I'd be fine all week before then despite the fall the Saturday before. Unbelievable how words can affect you more than actions sometimes.

Gonna try my best to be diplomatic but if all else fails a bop on the nose just might win the day lol. A couple of them have actually changed their attitude a bit on seeing the improvements & one has apologised to me which was appreciated (even though she wasn't one of the ones I was miffed with).

Makes me wonder though how many people have been put of riding for good because of things like this. I'm very bloody minded & know my strengths & limitations well but they managed to give me the jitters. If I'd been a youngster or more sensitive they could really have done some serious & lasting damage to my confidence. At best it's anti-social behaving like that but at worst it could be downright dangerous (e.g. if my confidence had left me last Saturday before the fall it could have been much worse).

But, like many of you have said, actions speak louder than words so we'll keep on working cos I know we'll get there in the end.

Thanks agiain everyone.

[dizzybee]

I to have had to bite my and tongue to smile a false smile in the past there are no alls in all walks of life and unfortuntley they abound in stables as my all gran used to say NO ALLS NO NOWT stay calm and sweet then do your own thing and enjoy your horse

[NoviceNic]

My advise would be to get an ipod. Stick it in your ears the minute you get out of the car and then pull it out when you have finished and are getting back into your car. :D

[noumenon]

Oh don't some people love to try to make things difficult for other people for no better reason than they can? You sound as though you know exactly what you're doing with your horse - you have a plan, you have the experience, you have the strength of personality not to be cowed by these bullies - as others have said, DON'T let them get to you. They'll be eating their words soon enough - there's a lovely saying:- "Living well is the best revenge"!

[Drummer & Eli]

They are called stupid, narrow minded busybodies. Most places have at least one (altho we are blessed at my yard not to!!) - i waited on baited breathe for that one sancho :D ;)

Horse people can be blimin awful to get on with I'm sure.
we dont really have 'horse people' at our yard, we are all just 'slaves to our horses happines'' lol

i think the thing that is so hard is that we are all very passionate about our horses and that can inadvertadly cause some bad feeling, as we all like to think we are doing right by our horses but sure we all look after our horses very differently......does that mean the other is wrong?!!

no rights or wrongs, as long as you are enjoying your horse and your horse is happy, s*d everything and everyone else :)

[Trewsers]

Don't you feel much better for that rant now?!!!! lol. Hope you do!!! I like the advice about getting an ipod - yes, I would do that, just stick it in and get on with your horsey chores and knickers to the lot of 'em. Some folk just can't leave others alone and love to impart their "knowledge" and views..............You just do your own thing and don't worry about it.

[Nik-n-Kia]

My advise would be to get an ipod. Stick it in your ears the minute you get out of the car and then pull it out when you have finished and are getting back into your car. :D

Class!!!!


Nikki xxxx:D

[LeftBrainer]

I always think that when people have lot to say it's usually 'cos they like their own voices ;) If it's muttering around the yard I think it says more about what they don't know than what they think they do;);).
Smile sweetly, develop the ancient art form of smiling sweetly while actually muttering strange druidic curses under your breath. It takes a lot of practice but is sooo satisfying when you can do it. I believe the most venerated masters of the art can actually hold a laughing smiling conversation while muttering the curses without anyone knowing!!:D

[Troi]

Good luck with your new horse. I have a 3/4 TB and she is sooo inteligent. I'm too chicken to ride her LOL but that's my choice. I admire people that take on a horse and try to do something with them. Keep us posted please and rant away:)

[luvmelol]

Take no notice they ARE just jelous. It'll be someone elses turn soon. My old horse took a good 3 months to settle when i brought her home. Sounds like you are doing just fine.

[ginageorge]

:)Why is it every livery yard seems to have them,thats why iam glad to be on my friends place,there is only a few of us and we get on great,as said just smile sweetly and take no notice.:)

[blues mum]

Can I join your rant ?
I hate people who put horse breeds in pigeon holes,
eg,
arabs are scatty, cobs are ploddy,t b's dangerous, welshies tricky ( any others any one )
I dont have a breed type or colour I dislike.

[LeftBrainer]

They are called stupid, narrow minded busybodies.

no rights or wrongs, as long as you are enjoying your horse and your horse is happy, s*d everything and everyone else :)

Is it because the majority of people on the majority of yards are female? My OH says I think like a bloke - I just get on with it. If anyone asks, here's my opinion, if they don't - I don't give it. The trouble is most other women don't think like that... everyone has to have an opinion and if you haven't asked for it they make d**n sure they give it as many others as possible. :mad:

Don't stick your nose in to how I ride or what I do with my horse unless I ask for advice. Don't steal tack, or hide it then pretend you were storing it for me, don't move my headcollar from the communal hooks in the barn and don't borrow anything without intending to give it back:mad:

We're all around horses because we love them - surely that would be a strong bonding thing:D

[KateWooten]

The thing I really hate about these well-meaners is that they pull every emotional trick in the book. It's never honest, it's always 'we're just looking out for you, dear, nobody wants to see you get hurt' . UGH.

For example - I choose horses that nobody else wants. Cheap horses. Horses with problems. Young horses. Do ya think I'm going to get hurt once in a while ? Really ? Do you not think I've factored that into my decision making? I AM going to get hurt occasionally. Get over it, and shut up. I am so sick of hearing 'I told you so' and 'You need to sell all those bad horses and by yourself one decent one' every frikkin time I fall off or whatever. Heck, I fall off - No Big Deal ! Oddly enough, the lady in my own most recent 'you shouldn't have those horses' incident just got attacked by her own sheep, broke her leg and was left for dead in the middle of her own paddock :eek: (managed to get herself rescued eventually but it had gotten pretty serious by then). I feel bad for her, but just a tiny little bit of me wishes to go round there all smiles and sympathy and say 'you know, you should get rid of all those sheep and get yourself an animal you can handle'.

Arrrghh... rant away - we've all met them, wherever we go !

[coverblown]

why would anyone have a horse of their own.

Its great to ride the best horses on the yard (the schoolies) and have the pity (possibly contempt) of all these types because I don't have my own....

at least they don't give me any advice - too far down the pecking order to even get on their radar.... and who cares.

And tbh - its this sort of thing (and of course the dosh) thats stopping me having my own Neddy. Good luck with it TC, you sound like the most well meaning friendly person in the world, esp in your posts to me.

[montys helper]

Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy Jealousy

[simons-mum]

Give them lots of unhelpful, rubbish advice about their horses in return :D
you could try some of these:

it's a bit slow isn't it?
have you thought about changing to a higher protein feed to liven it up a bit?
Do you ever get bored just sitting up there plodding around?
He's not really much of a challenge is he?
Has he foot problems or does he always drag his his feet like that?

I'd be very tempted :D:p;)