could i share him???

[highamreb]

advice wanted,
i own a 16hh veteran happy hacker, i love him to bits but with family commitments, daughters pony and work, he only gets ridden about once a week, he is well looked after but would probably like a bit more exercise/attention,. he is as fit as a fiddle, will hack all day, jumps, schools and is quite happy in the field all day. but with money tight i feel like an ideal solution would be to let someone ride him couple of days a week and contribute. but i would still be around while sorting daughters pony out and dont think i would be able to keep my nose out, i like things doing just as i like them for him and am so obsessed with him that i think i would find it hard to let some1 takecare of him,
does any1 have any experience of this, is it possible to be around and let some1 else get on with your horse?
he is an angel, a real confidence giver so would like some1 else to enjoy him!!!:confused:

[kturner]

I think I would have the same problem. My sharer is 11yrs and comes with me because obviously she cant drive. I have been teaching her for 18 months and dont get at all jealous, but it is a slightly different situation.

Today we called him up from the field, and he came galloping looking at her then me, and not knowing which one to go to. He came to me. I was thinking it would be nice for him to have gone to her, because that would mean they were well bonded, I did feel a twinge though. I think I would have been gutted if he had actually gone to her.

I think in your situation, you could arrange to be at the yard at different times, or you go to a different working area to the sharer, and just dont look at them when he is being groomed, ridden, etc.

So silly I know, but sometimes, " I " want to do his feet. And I dont mind her going away for weekends with her granny because then I get him to myself for the weekend. How silly is that? She is only 11 and I'm 46 and he is only a little pony.

[LaurenEff]

Dont see why not but please dont post two threads identical! :D

[LeftBrainer]

I love my nag to bits but had to come to the decision last year that I simply did not have the time to ride him as often as I wished and he needed. I like doing long rides and so does he. It just wasn't good horse sense to not ride him for 2 weeks then try and go out for 4 hours - it wouldn't have done anyone any good:( So I found a university student to share him. I had no trouble watching her mount up and ride, mainly because I'd auditioned her - and made it quite clear to her when she first came to to the yard to see him that that was what I would do. I watched her catch, groom and tack him up then cycled out on an hours hack with them both. He liked her, that was clear from the start, and she was a much better technical rider than me:o) but perfect as she was she clashed with a close friend so close friend got the job in the end! Not as technical a rider, a happy experienced hacker like me. The boy likes her too so all's well that ends well:D

[tubby1]

Your horse sounds lovely and I think it would be easy to find a sharer. I started riding a ladies horse a few months back because she said she didn't have the time. I explained my situation to her that i was a total nervous nellie and having recently returned to riding wanted to learn. The Horse was lovely to ride but a bit bad tempered when grooming etc.The horses owner never left us alone and checked everything that I did which was fine at the start but was very annoying after a few months. She wouldn't let me hack out unless she came with me , she would check his feet every time i did him, she wouldn't let me put his bridle on, I could go on but i think you get the point. I eventually decided to give up riding him as i couldn,t bond with him and felt like i was being watched all the time . If you do decide to share you have to be able to stand back and let the sharer bond with your horse or it won,t work.

[Bertie]

Are you looking for a sharer to help out with time, finances or both? Once you've decided this and especially if it's finances I think that you have let go to degree and give over a small part ownership to your sharer.

If you sharer is contributing and anything like me I absolutely love my share horse no less than I would my own and her owners knows that and is happy to take a step back. She is always around when I'm there but doesn't overly interfere with how things are going unless I ask for help.

You will obviously be a period of adjustment at first but this does alter and you begin to trust your sharer completely, they're will be elements of jealousy with the horse, on both sides but it does resolve itself. My horses owners trust me so much with her horses now I was left with them all whilst she went on holiday (Colt, filly, 3year old & mine).

Try it, find someone do a months trial and if it doesn't work out then try someone else or don't stick to what your doing now.

[*Sez*]

I had a similar problem last year. My husband had walked out on me, and a range of financial issues meant that I decided to get a sharer. I really thought I would struggle to keep my nose out, because I am very particular about how things are done, and often considered down-right odd :rolleyes:
It was very difficult, I won't lie, but I knew that my sharer was essentially helping me to keep my horse, so I tried my very hardest to take a step back. I struggled to explain to her that some things are done in a particular way because of my disability and I needed her to continue to do them as I did, for consistency's sake.
For the first couple of weeks, I went with her and supervised, and everything was just fine, so I started to trust her and found I was more able to take a step back. However, things became more lax once I stopped going, and my poor boyfriend regularly had to bear the brunt of my rants because they seemed so insignificant to bring up with my sharer, such as my horse became difficult to lead and kept injuring me by pulling, which he had never done before. I saw her lead him once when I was passing the yard - he was held loosely on the end of the rope and eating the grass verge, and then she draped the rope over her shoulders :eek: But because I didn't want her to think I was spying on her, I didn't feel I could say anything. It was just little things that bothered me, such as my tack not being put away exactly how I like it, but I realised that these were just my own little idosyncrasies and not really all that important. Generally, I was happy with how things went and I knew that if she didn't call me to ask something, there was always someone on the yard she could go to.
I was very disappointed in her when she had an accident when hacking in the dark and lost my horse (who was fortunately returned to the yard by a farm-hand who recognised him) but didn't think it was worth telling me about, despite him losing a shoe. I only found out after I phoned her to say she couldn't ride the next day because I had noticed he had lost a shoe and was dog-lame until the farrier could come out. The share came to an end not long after that, but I don't know how much of it was to do with the accident, and how much was external influences, such as her work and partner.

My suggestion would be to have a trial period for you both to settle in, and to arrange to get together once a month to discuss any issues that either of you have, and make sure all parties are still happy with the arrangement. If possible, also keep a log book at the yard so that you can both see what activities took place on each other's nights or anything out of the ordinary. However, make it clear that anything that requires a vet or farrier's attention should be reported to you immediately. Don't forget to write up a share agreement so you both know where you stand. :)

[Bertie]

I must admit that my situation is slightly different, I do my share 5-days out of 7 unless work dictates otherwise (away on business etc) and I am the only one that rides this horse, the owner doesn't ride, hasn't ridden for about 6-years and has no intention of riding her again.

I therefore have control over tack issues/changes etc but always discuss these first with the owner. We are both quite outspoken people and we get on fine as nothing festers for long before its brought up.

Trial periods are the best option I think and see how it goes :)

[sophie33]

Yes! Well - it is totally up to you but I'm sure you can find someone suitable. I, for one, would jump at the chance if you were in my neck of the woods. :p I know some people might find it offputting having the owner around but I think a lot of people would find it reassuring.

[ladywiththebaby]

I have shared a few different horses and I would say the most important thing is to try not to interfere too much! Obviously its your horse and you get to make the rules to make sure things are done how you like them but I think the shares that work best are those whose owners are relaxed enough to say - when its your day, its your horse.

It works for me and my share horse. I would never dream of doing anything outrageous like taking her out with strange horses without asking first, or changing her tack or jumping if told not to, and the owner knows that and trusts that in me - and I really appreciate it. Its so much nicer for the sharer when you don't have to be worrying when you leave if you've done everything exactly as you were told.

I would say make the rules about the important stuff but don't fuss about things that really don't matter. If you know that you would always be 'hovering about' even after a couple of months, then maybe you are just not ready to share yet.

[icegirl]

I have a different point of view to some others on here because when I took on a loan horse a while ago (just for a day a week though) I was really pleased that the owner was around and that she would generally ride out with me as well.
I was just coming back into the world of horses and was quite apprehensive so it really worked for us that way. I did the catching, grooming, tacking up and sorting out the horse afterwards but she was there to help if there were any problems.
The result was that I got more confidence and eventually went on to buy my own horse. So maybe someone in that position might suit you if you want to stay quite involved. A more confident and experienced person would probably expect to just get on with it themselves.

[horse__obsessed]

whereabouts are you located?

[highamreb]

whereabouts are you located?

preston, lancs

[Mary Poppins]

I think that total honesty in the best policy. Your horse belongs to you and if you want to supervise your sharer then there is nothing wrong with this - just as long as the sharer understands this. Often sharers like to pretend they own the horse on their days, but if you are not happy with this that is fine. Just be honest and clear about what you expect the sharer to do and not to do.

[Skib]

Depends what your sharers have been doing up to now.
Those of us who ride RS horses know perfectly well they dont belong to us. We have to work within what the RS permit for that particular horse. We ride dozens of horses and need to know how each horse is used to being cued and the limit of what to expect by way of improvement. I wouldnt want an owner to leave me unguided.
But if you are thinking of re-teaching a rider so as to have a sharer ride exactly as you do, I guess that would rule out a lot of good riders. Using our brains, thinking for ourselves is (my view) a very important component of riding a horse. We need to be self reliant and competent.
Whereas being totally shepherded by an RI or an owner can reduce one to dependence and helplessness.