The big half century

[cazrider]

After adding to the thread welcoming pagan, I realised there are an awful lot of us who are around the big 5 0. I just scrape over at 51 earlier this month.:)

I may be peculiar, but I just love it.:D I think it's a best kept secret that 50ish is actually a great place to be.

I love it because:

The kids have grown up and moved on so I don't have to consider them any more on a day to day basis.
I can ride when I want, and have moved Sen down the road, so i can go and see him and cuddle him when I want (work permitting)
Older daughter comes over periodically and rides friends horse so we go out together
I've given up on ambition, so am now content with where I've got at work and can concentrate on the rest of my life, i.e. horse and OH
I've bought OH a mountain bike and we have plans to ride out together
I don't give a toss what people think anymore, and am much more confident to stand my ground when I need to
I'm turning into a grumpy old woman and don't care
So long as I look respectable I don't have to worry about keeping up with fashion any more

Anone else like being aorund 50? if so, why?

[kturner]

I'm 46 now 47 at Xmas, so not far to go.

One daughter 21 moving out mid July, already engaged. Other one 17 so still here for a little longer, but already got a good job, so has the funds to move out if she wants.

I spend most of my free time with their ex pony who is now mine. They dont mind, they cook their own meals, we all eat different things, they do their own washing. Just cant get little un to clean her room.

Divorced three years ago, so looking forward to no responsibility soon, except the 4 cats, 2 dogs, and 1 pony of course. Love being single too. Best thing I ever did.

I may have empty nest syndrome soon, but I dont think so. My mum says no matter how much you look forward to independence again, it still hurts. At the moment I am looking forward to a nice clean tidy house.

[Humble]

From another who will be 51 in December. I was also looking forward to the independance and pleasing yourself when you ride etc. I have found the opposite in that when the girls left home albeit possibly tempory - Uni, I needed another Job to help pay for them, plus my 1st job got busier, and needed more input in the form of responsibilities, plus looking after 3 horses on my own (my daughter looked after her own & helped with mine, but he is now retired) and I ended up with less free time. Also, my parents-in-law became ill and needed caring for - I sadly lost my father-in-law in April, and my mother-in-law is terminally ill and now living with us. One day!

[kturner]

Humble - You are right I forgot about that, as we get over 50 our parents get in their 70's or 80's and then when we stop looking after our children we start looking after our parents.

My mum at 70 just finished looking after her father of 93. Lost him last year, but my mum was really run down, looking after him 8 yrs at the end.

touch wood, mine are still fit and healthy for a bit longer.

[domane]

I just became a grandmother and turned 45 within two weeks of each other and I really haven't got a handle on being third generation yet! I don't WANT to grow old.... well my mind obviously isn't but I don't want my body to get saggy and wrinkly.... :mad:

Perhaps when I hit 50 Caz I will have an epiphany???? :rolleyes:

[coverblown]

can I join in - at 52.

But still seriously supporting perma student son and daughter who is still 17 and at home - so dosh still tight and worried about them most of the time.

Looking forward to it getting a little easier - both away and sorted, but I will miss girlie no end.

Anne

[icegirl]

Theres that kind of squeeze with elderly parents and adolescents all needing attention at the same time but I agree with all the things said by Cazrider. Its great to know who you are and what you want and not to spend all your time worrying about what other people think.:)
Whats fashion..............? I do occasionally get my daughter saying: "Mum, you cant go out in that".:cool:
I think being in your fifties is more than OK.
Im guessing that all of you who had kids in your twenties are now splendidly unencumbered but I did the think of settling down late so still have a houseful of teenagers from time to time.

[Portia]

48 is coming up fast (november), and whilst I don't feel any different 'inside', there's the inevitable ageing process to contend with, although I do think that people of our generation are generallyhealthier and more open-minded that our parents were at the same age.
Personally I've reached the point where I don't really care what other people think of me, I do what I like when I like (not completely liberated yet, kids are 17 & 15 so still have a few years tethered to the washing machine) - perhaps approaching the half century gives you that freedom.

[cazrider]

domane, you will have that epiphany.;) At least i did. I went through a massive mid life crisis at 40. Buying the horse was just a part of it. I hated the idea of getting old. BUT it's one of the great things about being 50, that transition into not being bothered about it any more. I'm much happier in myself now, and like you, at forty I would never have believed it.

[eml]

I think the main thing is the sense of knowing yourself and not really worrying if you don't appeal to everyone.

And yes you are squeezed between parents and children, I am lucky mine are both independent but I have also discovered the ability to say 'no' that seemed to be lacking when I was younger.

Also bought myself inappropriate car and young horse..perhaps second childhood is setting in ?

[ANN H]

Didn't you know, 50 is the new 25:p

I've never had children and I lost both parents (father when I was 18 and mother when I was 39 after nursing her through a long illness). I feel younger now than I did when I was 40!

[Troi]

I agree you care less about what others think once in your 50's ( fashion? Is it not still jeans and fleeces?:D) The decicion not to have to go for promotion etc and rather do your own thing is really liberating. I can now have my hobby as a career -started off with one cow and now have over 90!! Its very busy and tiring, but even on the bad days its better than the rat race! And if short of cash I do a bit of supply in out no politics!!

[Merlbloss]

I knew when I got to my late forties that if I didn't get a horse then, then I probably never would. I still feel like it was an attempt to recapture the feelings riding gave me when I was younger, the exhilaration and adrenalin rushes, but then found that fear had replaced expectancy. It has taken me four years to really get my confidence back and now I'm feeling more like a teenager again, bar the aches and pains and the occasional "what if's?"!

[pagan]

Im 52 yrs this year

[laura jeanne]

At age 58, I'm the happiest I've ever been.

I like it because my only responsibilities are my two cats. OH and I are both retired so I can do whatever I want, whenever I want!!!

I ride 4-5 times a week. I don't have my own horse, but my lesson horse feels like mine! I have 3 lessons a week and can go ride him any time I want on 3 other days.

Now that I am not working, no more expensive work clothes to buy. And actually, for a fraction of what I used to spend looking decent for my job, I can actually buy very nice casual clothes.

I think there is a shift in a person's outlook at this age. A funny thing, I was shocked a few years ago when I thought to myself, "omg, I'm my parents age!" - meaning, I guess, that I was the same age as my parents were when I was actually old enough to think of them as actual people and not just mommy and daddy. heh

My only problems are being stuck here in Texas, half way between my kids and grandsons in California and my very failing parents in Florida!

Still, I am happy here in TX only because of my horse and my lovely RI!!

[keds mum]

Think I am still coming to terms with it!:eek: But yes a lot of what you say is true.

[Skib]

Can't believe you ae over 50, Cazrider. You looked such a young thing.
Yes, 50 is good - I did good work then because I was free to do so. And I'll wish you the same happiness riding in your sixties which is what I did next.

For those who think it too late to own a horse - if you have money enough and good health it certainly isnt. The reason we dont have one is that, like Laura Jeane, I love an RS horse as if she were mine. But, if need be, one could buy one's first horse at 80. I dont see why not.

[Gill]

I'm another past the big five O. Life is busier than ever running my business, looking after my horses, chickens, ducks etc. Our family are grown up, all super people and yes it's a happy time.
The only down side is the way we start falling to bits!

[cazrider]

Can't believe you ae over 50, Cazrider. You looked such a young thing.
thanks for that Skib:D

I understand the falling to bits part. There doesn't seem to be a part of me that hasn't ached at some point or another, especially joints.:rolleyes:

[icegirl]

Hmm, I play tennis regularly but with a knee support, arm support and was debating an ankle support as well when I fell over in the yard and damaged it recently.
Theyve started calling me the bionic woman!!!:cool:

[kirky]

Excellent thread. I am 47 and feel a link with all of your comments. Aren't we all just fantastic? We might not all be horse owners or fantastic riders or whatever but I believe we bring a sense of independence to what we do at our age. I for one am far more confident in most of the things I do simply because of my life experiences.

Oh and yes...I'm dropping to bits too but thats okay because I just get a surgeon to fix or take those things out....:)

[ginageorge]

:)I hit the big 50 next year.:)

[Gill]

I wonder, will be still having a thread like this for the big six o or seven o?
My friend who is seventy has just had to retire her mare so has got herself a new pony. She says she is not ready to stop yet!

[dizzybee]

54 next and enjoying riding more than ever now I just please myself and have plently of time to my neddies middle age is great:cool::cool::cool::cool:

[Haphazard]

3 months to go. Not sure how i feel about it at the moment :confused:

[LindaAd]

I wonder, will be still having a thread like this for the big six o or seven o?
My friend who is seventy has just had to retire her mare so has got herself a new pony. She says she is not ready to stop yet!


There a quite a lot of us of 60+ around on here. Not sure if there are any of 70+.

[Trewsers]

What a great thread! I'm a little way off (38) but its great to read about those of you 50 and over - makes me think its something to look forwards to!! OH was having one of those "when we're old" conversations with me last night and he said "well, when we're 70 and no longer capable of doing the horses we'll probably move to Cornwall etc etc" but I replied that if we're not capable of doing the horses anymore I'm not bloomin well interested in moving house, if I'm so decrepit then I'll take up macrame and not leave the house......lol.....I hope I'm not too old to do the horses at 70 - its not that long off really!!!!!

[Skib]

Remind your OH, Trewsers, that my OH never sat on a horse till he was 67. And doesnt look like stopping soon.

[cwb]

There a quite a lot of us of 60+ around on here. Not sure if there are any of 70+.

Me! I have just had the big 6 0 - I've had Scully for 3 months and as she is only 6, I reckon I might still be riding her when I get to 80! ;)

[FeatheryFeet]

Last spring I recieved through my letter box a leaflet telling me all about our local over fifties club. I glanced at it, screwed it up and threw it in the bin thinking "old people" :eek:. Then it dawned on me, I was about to become 50 a few weeks later :rolleyes:!!!!
Now soon to be 51 I have had a great year. For the first time in 30 years my OH and I have the house to ourselves, we are financially stable so I no longer have to work and have time for "us". He has his hobbies, he is a martial arts instructor and I have mine, my beautiful mare. Weekends are family time when I have my grandaughter to stay. Now all those years of juggling career, kids, home etc are finally paying off and I for one intend to enjoy every single moment of it.

[peppip]

I hit 50 in May, I am not overly happy to be so old but there is nothing I can do about it is there?
If there is one thing I regret about being 50 it is that I have not achieved my dream of keeping my pony at home, but who knows we might win the lottery one day! L.O.L.
If there is one thing I am glad about it is that I have been able to share my life with equines for the last 30 years or there-a-bouts.

[Liz1949]

I'm with Anne H on feeling younger now I'm nearer 60 than 50 - I am in a similar situation with never having had kids, and having lost both parents before the age of 40, I don't have the problems that people with a more conventionally-timed family seem to encounter. And now I'm the age I am, people have given up making rude remarks about what I do - they are just envious of the fact that I go out and do these things!

[ANN H]

thanks for that Skib:D

I understand the falling to bits part. There doesn't seem to be a part of me that hasn't ached at some point or another, especially joints.:rolleyes:

I never seem to have aches and pains (touches wood), but I'm on that many tablets for diabetes related things, hayfever, etc, that I'm surprised I don't rattle when I move:rolleyes:

[Haphazard]

Reading through this post makes me realise how times have changed. No more sat home cooking jam or darning socks, no visits to the WI just us old wrinklies sat in front of our computers chattting on the net to people we will probably never meet.

[cazrider]

Having met Domane and you Haphazard (I can imagine how you'd make a pretty stir at the WI), and Skib from this thread, that one's not so true:p

Go.. the computer I say...:D

Feathery feet, I think those people with that Oldies club of yours should rethink their age barrier. I must admit to having had a few jokes about Saga since turning 50:rolleyes:, but I understand Saga don't actually expect anyone actually age 50 to go on their holidays. I think its designed to make 80 year olds feel younger.:) By the way, are you "Featheryfeet" because of your chickens? A firend has a fab cockerel with feathery feet.

[Haphazard]

Having met Domane and you Haphazard (I can imagine how you'd make a pretty stir at the WI), .

Ah yes that rainy day in Wiltshire! Thanks for the comment re WI, my ego is suitably boosted :D:D:D

PS having met you i would not have put you anyway near the half century club.

[Caz&Irena]

I'm 52 and never thought about my age until I started getting flyers for SAGA and insurance for the over 50s sent to me! I also don't have children but must admit my job is very stressful and I'm in the running for promotion so can't see my life slowing much at the moment. I know it's supposed to be true that age is a state of mind and my brain is still registering 23 years old, unfortunately my body doesn't feel the same:D

Caz xx

[AengusOg]

I'm 51.

My wife is 16 years younger than me, and we have two boys (one 1 yr old, and one 5 yr old), four horses, three dogs and poultry to look after.

I work on a pony stud and do freelance work as well.

I also look after the boys three days/week when my wife works.........

Do you think that's why some days I feel as if I'm 71?......:D:D:D;)

[JustJas]

I am looking forward to the big 40 in about 18 months- maybe I will finally feel like a grown up:D

[poohsmate]

I am looking forward to the big 40 in about 18 months- maybe I will finally feel like a grown up:D


i would not bank on it, im 61 and still have not grown up:D:D

[FeatheryFeet]

Feathery feet, I think those people with that Oldies club of yours should rethink their age barrier. I must admit to having had a few jokes about Saga since turning 50:rolleyes:, but I understand Saga don't actually expect anyone actually age 50 to go on their holidays. I think its designed to make 80 year olds feel younger.:) By the way, are you "Featheryfeet" because of your chickens? A firend has a fab cockerel with feathery feet.


I am featheryfeet because my Dales mare had the most lush feathers ever :D.

[elaine@dow-evan]

Yay for those of you who are not in their first youth...I'm 50 next March and was rather not looking forward to it, but now I tink I'll embrace the challenges.
No kids, 4 cats, 1 OH...I WILL conquer my nerves and ride properly and who knows, one day.....

[Willywilddog]

I'm 46 now, and proud to say I had a mid-life crisis when I was 40. Learnt to drive a semi whilst carting cotton with OH in northern NSW, became a grandma and had my first tattoo (eldest daughter was with me and having conniptions). I love the not having to be fashionable (apart from trackies and gumboots.lol), and hope I'm as active in my 70's as my parents are.

[laura jeanne]

i would not bank on it, im 61 and still have not grown up:D:D

I think I have more fun at the playground than my grandkids have!!!

[Caz&Irena]

i would not bank on it, im 61 and still have not grown up:D:D


You're right there, I still buy sherbet dabs!!!

[poohsmate]

You're right there, I still buy sherbet dabs!!!


LOL... me to and refreshers:D:D

[Libbyo]

I was 46 a month ago. Hoping that new lease of life and energy is going to arrive very soon. Son left home to go away to school at 11, thats 12 years ago, so nest is empty, step daughters never canme in.

Both parents are now gone after 10 difficult years of caring and resolving their issues, both had demensia, my father some what horrifically, my mother a more depressive type. Its taking some time to get used to the both being gone.

OH retired this year as well. Hes onl;y 50.

Lets hope this new energy and enthusiasm for life comes soon!

[essexgirl]

I've just turned 48 so not far off 50 and don't feel any different than I did in my 20's - well maybe the odd ache and pain. I had children later so they are still only 8 an 11 - so a few years left before they leave home, but I think they keep me young running around after them.

[Ro5ie]

I was 50 yesterday. That was quite a big landmark for me - hopefully I'll feel better about it soon.

My horse is now 27, I bred him so have had him all his life. He is still active, but what worries me now is getting another horse when he finally retires. If I get a youngster now - will I still be able to look after it in another 25 years or so. I can't imagine wanting to go out in all weathers when I'm nearly 80 - thats if I'm physically able to do so.

[Liz1949]

If I get a youngster now - will I still be able to look after it in another 25 years or so. I can't imagine wanting to go out in all weathers when I'm nearly 80 - thats if I'm physically able to do so.

I'll be 60 next year and have just bought a darling 4yo Welsh Sec C mare.

When I am 80 she will be 25 and - I hope - will still be able to pull my wheelchair if I can't manage to ride her. Or maybe she'll be retired and we'll just enjoy each other's company. Or maybe she will have been sold to a carefully-selected home, or put into retirement livery with an annuity to take care of her when I die - or maybe I - or she - will drop dead tomorrow and we'll never know.

Don't worry too much about the future. It takes the fun away.

[Caz&Irena]

I'll be 60 next year and have just bought a darling 4yo Welsh Sec C mare.

When I am 80 she will be 25 and - I hope - will still be able to pull my wheelchair if I can't manage to ride her. Or maybe she'll be retired and we'll just enjoy each other's company. Or maybe she will have been sold to a carefully-selected home, or put into retirement livery with an annuity to take care of her when I die - or maybe I - or she - will drop dead tomorrow and we'll never know.

Don't worry too much about the future. It takes the fun away.

They are the wisest words I have heard in a long while and what's more you're right:D

Caz x

[kate hayes]

Nice to hear about all the batty old farts out there ! Last year at 58 bought an unbroken 3yr old and got her going nicely and sold on to a wonderful home...bored then with just her mum to ride......so went to buy another youngster and have come home with two !..............Will I ever get to the 60th birthday next year ???????
It all beats dusting and crocheting !

[dancing lucy]

Im 51 in October and have 2 lovely horses that I really enjoy looking after and riding my 3 daughters are all grown up and left home and hubby has his own hobbies my middle daughter is as horse mad as me and rides out with me often, youngest one is always reminding me that I am over 50 and should be slowing down not running round fields trying to catch horses but I dont feel 51 and running after horses keeps me fit I can climb our big hill in the field to bring horses in as quickly as any of the young girls on our yard. In January this year I lost my tb with a badly broken leg and have been used to having 2 horses for so long I decided I was going to get another, my elder daughter (completely non-horsey) told me to buy an old plod as I should remember that at my age how long would I be able to care for them I was livid and after discussions with middle girl decided to buy a 7 yr old dutch warmblood mare who is brilliant. It must be hard for people who arent into horses to realise the love and satisfaction we get from our pets

[noumenon]

I'll be 52 next month, but I still can't believe it! I bought my mad little mare last October after being out of horse-owning for decades and apart from dodgy knees and being aware that my reactions are slower and my leg-strength not so good, and my confidence not being NEARLY as good as it used to be, I really don't think I feel my age at all. But, like another correspondent, I had my kids late and they are still early-mid teens and I think that keeps me young in my head if nowhere else. I've been out show-jumping most of the summer (small stuff admittedly - baby unaffiliated classes!) and intend to do even more next year. I'm going to keep riding and competing for as long as I possibly can and to hell with "middle age" - whatever that is! You're as young as you feel and pass the glucosamine!!:)