How quickly did you learn to be ok when falling off?

[Teazle]

As in - how many falls did it take before you were fine getting back on and just carried on with what you were doing? Friend's daughter is just learning, has been riding about six months now, and has had three falls. She still collapses in floods of tears and has to be seriously persuaded to get back on, and then goes back to wanting to be on the lead rein again and to only walk etc. She moans for days afterwards about the odd bruise she might have picked up, too.

She's 10. Are we expecting too much? Or is she just being really nervous and it would be best keeping her away from situations in which she's likely to fall (i.e. jumping) for a while?

[*katie*]

I think it's very much a personal thing. I'm a total wimp by nature, but falling off never bothered me in the slightest - even when i was hurt. I got my hand stamped on by a pony when i fell off, then i got back on to try the jump again and had to be persuaded back down from the saddle by my RI so she could take me to hospital :p! But my sister is a much more confident rider than i am; she'll try anything and loves the adrenaline rush. But when she comes off it really shakes her up. We've both been riding for as long as each other but i think it's just a personality thing. I have fallen off much more than she has, though :p - she was almost onto horses by the time she started riding (she's older than me) so skipped out the 'evil cheeky pony' stage - i was used to getting dumped several times in one lesson :rolleyes:! I don't know whether i've fallen off a lot so i don't mind anymore, or that it just never bothered me in the first place. I did cry the first time i fell off; i was five and grazed my palms on a road :o. I think some people are always more shaken up by falls than others; my friend just laughs whenever she comes off, i just shrug and get back on, my sister takes a while to get back in the saddle and likes to take things slowly - but we've all been riding the same amount of time, do the same things as each other and are relatively similar in our riding ability. Perhaps she'll always be jittery when she falls, or perhaps she'll learn it's not too awful; but i think people will always react in their own way no matter how many times they hit the floor :)! As for whether to keep her away from more risky bits of riding; i'd let her just do whatever she feels comfortable doing :) - putting off stuff like jumping may make her even warier when she does come to do it, because she may have had more time to worry about what could go wrong rather han enjoy it going right :).

[~*sugarlump*~]

i think it really depends.
i got straight back on even from the first fall. but it depends on a number of things; severity of the fall, confidence (or lack of), injury etc.

shes at an age where she will bounce back fast from injury. encourage her to get back on but dont let her get away with feeling too sorry for herself.
she has to gain the confidence hersekf but at the same time, dont let her find comfort in falling off. instead of going straight back to lead rein ask her if she will stay off the lead.
continue to gently push her.

ETA: i will always get back on (unless im unconscious:p) as i think its the best way to go, get back on straight away and get riding again. do what you were doing before you fell off. i tend to lose abit of my confidence after the fall but i always make sure im determined to get on and jump one more time

and i hate to say it, but does she really want to ride? is this a way of getting out of it? or does she really just lack the confidence?

[~*sugarlump*~]

got my hand stamped on by a pony when i fell off, then i got back on to try the jump again and had to be persuaded back down from the saddle by my RI so she could take me to hospital :p!.

you sound like me!:p ive gone round with broken finger, concussion, twisted ankle an ive always been determined to get back up:p did have to be pursuaded down with the concussion though as i was kind of passing out when i was cantering aroun/jumping:p

[ina.click]

I witnessed a first fall from a 6-8 years old girl, poor thing she bursted into tears and moaned for hours about her arm which got a bit bruised. And a sudden thought slipped in my mind : What if I'll do the same, at my honorable age of 26? (I did not fall yet, no idea why)

Regarding your friend's daughter I believe children attitude towards physical accidents varies a lot due to personality and the attitude of the others in the moment of the fall. I noticed that the more fuss you make about it (OH MY, you've FALLEN poor little thing etc etc etc) the more they get scared and cry.

immediately after she fell down, the only one that stayed calm and acted naturally was actually my RI. She was just staying there keeping calm near the horse's head while 3 different people jumped at the kid and scared her.
Another RI simply plucked the child from the ground and placed her straight back into the saddle, much to her horror - she started screaming, the pony of course got scared etc etc they had to get her down.

Her mom was also stubbornly trying to make her get back up with some words that would not make me proud "You are embarrassing me! I'll never bring you here anymore! All the horses will laugh at you! (lol?)"
Some dude came and massaged the kid's arm or checked it or something and then a lot of contradictory advice and much much fuss.

I'm not saying this might be your friend's daughter case of course, I am just giving an example. Perhaps minimizing the fuss when she falls and acting just like "it's no biggie, oops you fell " might help.

[coss]

i find it depends on the type of fall, who i've fallen off (:confused: ), whether i landed not too bad etc... everyone is different and under different circumstances react differently.
i've fallen off countless times and some i've literally got straight back on again without a problem, other times if i've been winded i'll sit to get my breath and get back on... sometimes i get really shaken up, think it depends on the day :rolleyes:
i'm with the get back on crowd, as soon as you're physically fit to be back in the saddle, get back in the saddle. each time if she wants to be back on the leadrein i would let her
and hopefully over time she'll want to be on the leadrein for shorter time.

[chickyd444]

as long as i havent been knocked out , i will always get back on , even when i have fallen on the road or a fall at speed i beleive it's better for you in the long run - if i didnt get straight back on and was alound to stew, i'd never get back on :o:rolleyes:

[Teazle]

Thing is - she's desperate to ride, but is sooo nervous and just doesn't bounce back from even little near-falls well at all. She wants to jump because all the other kids on the yard do, but is really scared of it and has to psych herself up for every jump (and they are only 1ft!!). Her pony tries to look after her, but if the child is scared of the jump, the pony won't go over - so then she falls off or loses her balance and starts crying. My friend took her to a gymkhana at our local pony club and left her for 5 minutes to get a drink - to find her screaming because another pony kicked at hers so hers sensibly moved out of the way rather quickly! She's a nervous child anyway - won't ride a bike, hates fairground rides, that sort of thing.

[Element]

I'm pretty stupid when I fall off, I don't sit to get my breath if i'm winded or badly hurt...I just get immediatly to me feet and get on. I think it's more to do with the fact that I don't like to make a scene and feel embarrassed if I fall, which again is daft. But with a child, it will be a different reaction.

I agree that you could try not making too much of a fuss and make it funny somehow (child psychology?) see if it helps :)

[BlackBess]

Is there any possibility of her being able to have private lessons for a while? I'm a nervous rider and I find that my rate of progression is a lot slower than someone who is confident. It sounds from your post as if she needs a sympathetic instructor who can increase her confidence with horses both on the ground and when she's riding. She might be falling off when jumping because her position is not yet secure enough, if she could have lessons on the lunge and without stirrups to strengthen her balance and seat, her jumping position will become more secure and that should in turn increase her confidence. I know some RS run pony days for children, when they can learn about stable management etc and if she learns how to stay safe around horses that may also increase her confidence. I'm probably the walking definition of a nervous rider and its something I'm trying to turn around, but as has been said, it depends on the circumstances as to whether you should get straight back on. I've come off at canter, fallen onto a jump and been trampled, but in those instances, it happened so fast, I just got back on before I had time to think about it. I think private lessons would help her a lot, wishing you all the very best.

[oinkmoooink]

When i was about 8 or 9, i went through a phase of falling off alot, my fault, and i lost my confidence, so for a while i just helped around the yard while my sister rode (i say helped...) and then i had private lessons, on lead rein if i wanted, until i got my confidence. I was a big wuss actually and it makes me cringe, i sometimes used to just lead the pony round...

I grew out of it now, ill get back on when possible when i fall, though after a very bad fall a cople months ago i have lost my confidence, but still 'go with' the pony when it sleeps up etc, rather than panic.

id say play down the fuss, and put her on the leadrein as long as she wants, but dont pity her too much for a little bruise, and explain to her its not clever to scream around horses. And assure her she can go at her own pace, though children her age are gonna boast about their fabulous jumps

[Julz]

Never!!

If i fall off I usually break something.. maybe Im doing the wrong sport??

[coverblown]

Falling off can be serious (I know); but it's not usually. Most children get back on because they really want to ride and they know this is what they should do.

My daughter fell off the same pony 3 times in one pony club session at our old RS. Instructor was extremely apologetic about it to me when I went to pick her up; daughter was a bit fed up, but understood that was part of riding horses... most kids I know are just as philosophical about it, unless of course they are seriously injured (rare). My niece has broken her wrist and shoulder and - got back on both times - she is perhaps a little foolhardy :)

At the risk of being unpopular - this child seems a little mollycoddled. Is there some reason she just can't get on with it or does she get special treatment for every cut and scrape?

[9tails]

I used to get really shaken up when riding a RS horse, but I've fallen off my own loads of times and just get straight back on. I think it's because I know she didn't mean for me to fall off, she stands beside me until I'm ready to get up whereas the RS horses ran off bucking and squealing.

My ex-stepdaughter fell off and then wouldn't come off the lead rein. We realised that after 10 weeks it probably wasn't the right sport for her. She was 12.

[acw295]

I don't like falling off - but I never not wanted to get back on. But then I was taught by quite tough RI's who didn't take any nonsense ;)

I always cry a bit though (and hope no-one notices) - it's a shock reaction even when I'm not at all hurt, can't stop myself :o but it only lasts a few seconds.

I'm quite harsh with my little step-siblings, when we first met them they were all so wimpy. This summer the youngest (he's 8) went abseiling with me without hesitation, 2 years ago he wouldn't take the stabilisers off his bike. I'm a fan of tough love :p

[Toffee_Monster]

he he, i always cry too
Rearing always puts me off and makes me shake violently though (After a bad rearing accident i had with my old horse Tuppence)

[horse_crazy]

I allways get back on . I'm allways shaken up after a fall,but I just shrug or laff (depending on the fall) and get back on. Even when I was bucked off and broke my coller bone! (that was pretty painful) But I had never ever broke a bone before so I didn't think I had broken anything!

Woops, witterd on a bit there,sorry!

[molly34]

Regarding your friend's daughter I believe children attitude towards physical accidents varies a lot due to personality and the attitude of the others in the moment of the fall. I noticed that the more fuss you make about it (OH MY, you've FALLEN poor little thing etc etc etc) the more they get scared and cry.
Couldn't agree more! My mum was a nurse so my sisters and I were brought up with the what doesn't kill you makes you stronger mindset and tough love rather than sympathy (even when I broke bones and tried to cut my leg off.... not riding accidents though so don't panic, lol!). We learnt very quickly that a) there was no point making a big fuss about a booboo and b) when you stop fussing its over quicker and doesn't hurt so much!

I also think its really important, if at all possible, to get straight back on after a fall so you don't have any time to worry about 'next time'.

[pink-pony101]

i dont really mind- then again i've never really hurt myself falling off *touch wood* even though i've come off loads- worst i've had is a cpuple of broken fingers- i just shrug and get back on. - my sister, who is a similar age (she's just turned 11)to your friend daughter even though she's been flung into walls ect, bucked off her pony just jumps back on and canters off to do whatever she was doing- she literally has no fear:D- yesterday she turned rosie to the xc jump- it wasnt huge,it was just a raised log with plant pots ect in front of it about 2ft- rosie kinda flew towards it, leaapt over it, my sister stayed with her but lost a stirrup, rosie flung in a huge buck:rolleyes: just cos she was giddy and loves xc:D, my sister went over her shoulder, rosie cantered off- literally she just jumped up, i couaght rosie for her, she asked me to leg her up, she turned and went over it agin, asked me, did she jump it alright then- i said yeah sure she then turned her and went flat out up a field:rolleyes:

[courage_uk]

iv had 2 major falls where hores have landed ontop of me, and lucky im still here to tell the tail,
hores are a passion and thus u scrape your self back up and get on board and do it again...

for children my advice to try and raise a smile... is tel them you wont be a top rider untill u have fallen off at least ten times and to say sorry to the floor for landing on it :p always worked with all the children iv taught to ride over the years...

deff harder being an adult rider falling and knocking your confidence, because it really is down to your self to gather the confidence and hop bck on, least with children u can pick them up and plonk them back on .. you suddenly realise the risk of riding and do u carry on when u could break a leg and may not be able to pay the bills ? hard concept im trying ot drum into my slighty younger friends who dont have financial responsibilities atm lol

[*katie*]

say sorry to the floor for landing on it :p

My first ever RI used to make me do that :p:D! First i had to apologise to the floor, then to my pony, then to whatever body part i landed on - by the time it came to getting back on i was giggling so much i didn't care that i'd hit the deck in the first place :p!