View Full Version : Gentleman Riders!
21st Jan 2003, 12:04 PM
I am very impressed with the way Jonto has set about learning to ride. His "diary" is amusing and informative and he just ouzes confidence!
Looking at these threads I think nearly all the tearful pleas for confidence giving advice and beating ourselves up for not wanting to canter etc all seem to come from us women!! (I know someone out there will correct me - there must be at least one shrinking violet amongst you fellows!).
My husband learned to ride about 18 months - 2 years ago and is like Jonto, pretty confident. Loves to canter, does a bit of jumping, and generally really enjoys it. Never sits at home dreading his next lesson! He only ever fell off once - out on a hack the first time he cantered outside - but he managed to get back on and got on with it. I know though he finds hacking with me dull, with no cantering but he does go out with those who like the faster stuff. He is very sensible and safe though and so is his horse. He quite often hacks alone although we often go togethr. I paid for him to learn to ride so he could accompany the nervous me!!
What do other think about the great male/female divide?!!
You see I think most men for instance are far more confident behind the wheel of a car. My hubby whizzes up and down motorways in the fast lane - he is a great driver, while I avoid motorway wherever possible. I know I am a wimp. Still we all know that we ladies are far more sensitive than blokes!!!
I think this might be in twice, sorry)
21st Jan 2003, 12:19 PM
My husband is a bit insecure about his riding; he wants to do well, and he wants his horse to be happy. It's not just the women among us :)
21st Jan 2003, 03:14 PM
I'm a big fan of jonto's, too.:) I just read about his first fall, and I was impressed at how matter-of-fact he was - "all part of the learning curve," etc.
As for other men, I do know one who freely confesses to being terrifed of horses. He is a professional scuba diver and for years worked with captive big cats (lions, cougars, tigers, etc.), and so may feel more free to express himself without fear of being thought a wimp. He has an hilarious theory that horses are closet carnivores and are secretly responsible for all the missing children we used to see on milk cartons. :D But then, he doesn't ride a whole lot, so maybe he doesn't count.
Here's my theory: there are generally more women who ride than men (except in Portugal, chapsi:) ). This fact makes me wonder if maybe women who are scared go ahead and ride anyway, whereas fearful men just avoid the experience.
Or maybe men just don't feel the need to share their fears the way we do? I've seen some rookie men ride at my barn - my instructor does trail rides for the tourists sometimes - and some of them look pretty tense, although they never say anything. I think men are taught to try and solve their own problems without seeking advice. In my schoolteaching days, I noticed the boys were always rather competitive over who could get their math problems done first, whereas the girls were more inclined to work in groups and help each other.
21st Jan 2003, 10:47 PM
Vanity got anything to do with it ? L
22nd Jan 2003, 01:20 PM
Stephen would be the first to tell you that he is not the world's most confident rider - (neither am I!). What do you do if you have a horse that is really traffic proof and an owner who is spooky in traffic:D :D :D ? Pablo looks at buses, lorries etc and then at Stephen who is quivering on the end of the reins and you can see him thinking 'well, it's just a bus- what's scary about that?' :D
Stephen is a good rider, but not good at self confidence, and if you are reading this Stephen - you have made really good progress and I am very impressed :) Now he will be blushing :o !
22nd Jan 2003, 04:04 PM
i don't think we're vain, it's just how most of us are raised. simply put, boys are rough and tough, girls are sensitive and fragile. a strong show of emotion by a young man is a sure sign of weakness (or so we're taught),whereas girls are allowed and usually expected to show a plethora of emotions. girls are allowed to cry (usually a very good cry) when they are hurt physically or emotionally and usually consoled by both family and friends. boys get hurt, they shed a tear (not usually a good sobbing cry, tho) then are told this experience will make them tougher. and just to make matters more confusing, women are allowed to cry tears of joy, when was the last time you witnessed a man doing that? and what of the man that demonstrates a strong show of emotion, he's usually labelled gay. so, in my opinion, we live in a society of double standards strongly favoring the female gender. men are just as sensitive as women, we're just not expected to show it...
23rd Jan 2003, 03:04 PM
saddlesore - I can empathize about being raised not to show emotion. Although I'm a woman, I was brought up by a bunch of those "steel magnolia" types who thought crying was a sign of weakness. Took me until I was in my twenties to learn to express things like that, but I definitely think I'm a much happier person not keeping my emotions bottled up!
Still not very acceptable for men, though, is it? I remember seeing Brett Favre (American football quarterback, for those across the pond:) ) on TV, getting a little choked up after a really heart-breaking loss. My (usually sensitive) husband nearly fell off the sofa laughing at him!:mad:
Actually, I find the ability to express emotions a very attractive quality in a man. I wonder what the rest of the ladies think?;)
24th Jan 2003, 08:31 AM
I dated someone for a while - and took him out on valentines day - I drove to a hilltop near the stables - with a fantastic view of the whole of the area, played our song (quite loudly from the car) and asked him to dance with me under the stars.
He had tears in his eyes he was so surprised. I thought it was one of the lovliest things I'd ever seen. Still gets me emotional to think about that night - seeing this man showing what was REALLY inside for once instead of putting on a front - was a really powerful thing.
When it comes to riding though - the same gent has more confidence than I do (he doesn't crap himself over a 1 foot jump!) and he has not even been riding for half the time I have. (Saying that - he'd never get on Bren as he was to scared he get tanked off with- wuss!) :D
24th Jan 2003, 11:23 AM
Peace - I agree;) a very desirable quality. I would like to spend the rest of my life with a human being, after all, not a man who is as emotional as a piece of rock:)
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