Fear

[shellsings]

Hi. This is my first post here - great site, I'm really excited to be here!

Anyway, my question and issue is this: I'm a 31 year old female and I've been riding for about 1 1/2 years. I love it and enjoy my lessons so much. I'm taking private lessons at a local school and I really like my instructor and all of the horses. The problem is that I have never fallen and the fear of falling is starting to effect me. I feel as if it is inevitable and since it's going to happen at some point, I go in to each lesson fearing that I'm going to fall.

I think I would be progressing a lot farther if I did not have this fear. My instructor told me today that she thinks I have great potential and that I am really learning, but I know that my fear of falling is causing me not to progress as much as I would like.

Please someone tell me that they have felt the same way and that if I fall, I'm, not going to get killed, break a leg or anything else - that I can fall and get right back up. I'm actually thinking that it will be good when I have my first fall (if it's not a bad one) because then I will realize I can fall and still be okay.

I look forward to hearing all of your responses!
Thanks.:)

[charm24]

don't worry about it. as soon as it happens (as long as you are not injured, or the horse !), justget back on and forget about it, it really isnt all that bad. i fall off all the time now. just dont let it loose all of your confidence because i had the same fear as you and when it finally happened i lost my confidence for about 5 months, that was only because i really over reacted. but try to forget about it !
dont worry, you'llbe fine !
jess x

[Sparkle]

Most falls do NOT result in injury. The only falls I've had have resulted in a few bruises, nothing more. My feeling after my first fall was relief; I had been a bit nervous about it but I realized that it wasn't bad at all- in fact, I was sort of proud of myself that I had done it and realized that I was fine:D . I think many other riders feel this was as well. When you do fall, just try to relax, and you'll probably be fine.Don't worry- normally, falling off is not a big deal. There are a few accidents here and there, but that isn't usual. After my first fall I laughed at how easy it was compared to what I'd thought.:D

Welsome to the board! Everyone is very friendly here, I'm sure you'll like it!:D

[janet hakeney]

Welcome Shellsings.

I'm sorry to hear about you fear. Fear is a rational response to a perceived danger, but when it gets out of proportion you have a problem. Fear is one of the parts of you that has kept you alive for 31 years. It has recognised when you have got yourself into dangerous situations and helped you get out of them alive so don't be too hard on it.

There are a load of sports psychology exercises that you can do and books you can read about them in that would help. I'll give you one...

Think of your fear as a small furry animal and give it a name. Usually it sits on your shoulder when you are riding and yells down your ear drowning out what the Instructor says and all you can hear is '' this is very dangerous, you are going to fall off and hurt yourself any minute now''...and other such things. This as you have found out is not conducive to learning. Now here is the problem....this little guy has your best interests at heart but he is stopping you from doing what you want to do. You would be stuffed without him because he is the one who tells you that you are about to walk in front of a 38ton truck. The answer is to explain to him that you know what you are doing on this occassion and you would like him to pop off your shoulder and go and sit at the side of the riding school while you are having your lesson...he can watch but he has to be quiet so that you can think and listen to the horse and the Instructor. You will be sure to collect him at the end of the lesson because you realise that he has to be with you the rest of the time.

Visualise your pet sitting at the side of the school (with a sticking plaster over his mouth if he really won't shut up). If during the lesson he reappears on your shoulder politly put him back in the corner and at the end of the lesson be sure to take him with you.

Talk to your Instructor about it she needs to know in order to teach you to the best of her ability.

Ask everyone you know how many times they have fallen off and on a percentage basis how many of those falls were bad/minor/insignificant.

It is unlikely that you will find a riding Instructor these days who will teach you how to fall off as I had in the Pony Club as a child....we used to actually learn to do it....rolling off the ponies and curling up and rolling away from them....no putting your hand and arm out to break your fall as that meant a broken collarbone. Health and Safety rules now probably precludes such activity.

If you are really hung up about it go to either a Parachute Club or a Martial Arts club and they will teach you how to fall.

I have fallen off 200 to 300 times in 40yrs riding. I'm still here. I have yet to break bones (i'm touching my wooden desk) I have been bruised, winded, torn muscles and ligaments but nothing that a hot bath and a few days limping wouldn't cure.

The joy of riding a good horse and doing it well is a drug that overcomes all fear and inhibition.

[Wally]

Most things like trips to the Doc., the Dentist, Exams and the like they are not usually as bad as you anticipated.

The expectation and anticipation can be far, far worse than the actual thing you are dreading.

You have made falling off into a much, much bigger deal than it really is.

The fact that you have been riding for so long and not fallen off and you feel confident and happy with the school horses speaks volumes for the temperament of the animals at your barn and the quality of instruction you are getting. Usually when you do fall off is it an undignified slither and a light splat on your bum. BIG falls that hurt usually happen at high speed on scatty horses. Your horses sound like ours, if they feel you falling off they stop!

It is impossible to have a nasty fall of Laurel, even jumping, if you land badly he stops and waits for you to get back into the saddle....or give up and lower yourself to the floor, he's such a gentleman! Kina will stop if her rider loses his balance...a pain when you are trying to teach rising trot to a real novice!

I have had some real rip snorting falls....but I was going very fast over big X country fences on fast willing horses, either that or out hunting and brain not engaged. All my other falls (touching every bit of wood available in the room:D :D ) in the school, on hacks and general messing about have been slithers....usually in fits of laughter.

Try to focus on the positive, deal with the fall when....if it happens.

[Black Velvet]

You'll be fine. The only time I have ever fallen bad is off young horses doing stupid things. I do understand your fear though. My current horse I've had for nearly 2 years. He's only 5 and has a really HUGE green jump which often out seats me a bit but I've never (touching the biggest piece of wood) fallen off him and it really worrys me as I know I will some day and I've never fallen off anything as big as him before. I'm also a bit worried about how he'll react when I fall off as I was out hacking and my mum got bucked off and he completley freaked out and before I got him he was a race horse and used to rear up and fall back on the jockeys on purpose. But anyway as long as your on fairly safe horses you'll be fine. My first fall I landed on my feet:D

[Peace]

Janet - I love your small furry animal visualization! I'm going to use it! Sticking plaster over his mouth - LOL!:D

shell - I know how you feel. I actually had the bad luck to fall on the first several horses I rode. I didn't get hurt, and neither did the horses (amazing considering they actually fell down too), but it still shook me up. Afterwards, like you, I just had this feeling that falling was inevitable.

Now I'm knocking on all available wood, but I haven't fallen since -it's been almost three years now. Like Wally says, riding at a safe school on sane horses makes a huge difference - I've read that the percentage of serious accidents in these situations are infinitesimally small.

One of my instructors once told me I could stop myself falling by fixing my gaze on the horizon.:) Partly she was curing my bad habit of "curling up" when I felt vulnerable, but I suspect she was also just giving me something to concentrate on besides falling. I'm happy to report it worked for me, so feel free to use it if you'd like!;)

[western]

I have that fear all the time when i get one foot in the sturrup. i have been riding for a year and a half. and i had 2 falls. mostly on my bum. i had a bumps and bruises and limping. oh and the time i broke my toe.its ok as long as you know how to ride a horse, and that you have a good and reliable horse. just when you are on a back of a horse just try your best to get the job done. horses and people have good days and bad days. but thats normal.i think that the fear of falling or having an accident while horseback riding is common in all of us. its a dangerous sport. but we are always taking the risk. but thats all part of riding horses and for the love of them. they are animals and can turn on you in the matter of a second. but as long as you treat them well , like feeding them right and lots of grooming and spending time with your horse then they will love riders even more, in my words. its ok to have that fear especially when cantering or even galopping. just think on the stuff like you are soupose to like leg aids and rein aids while going at a faster rate and the fear goes away , because you are trying your best. and never forget do never give up just because of a fear. just face it and have courage. never give up love of horseback riding.

[jonto]

I started riding last April at the age of fifty nine. I'd wanted to do it for a long time, then plucked up the courage to book the first lesson. That can be difficult as sometimes you have to wait till they can find a place for you and its easy to duck out again. I did it, I wish I'd done it years before. I thought about falling off, then if your going to ride, its a risk you have to take, after all how much more of a risky is it than anything else? You might be unlucky and fall downstairs or get run over by a bus! When it did happen it was'nt to bad as I had the horses side to slide down. One thing I do remember is one night mounting and sitting in the saddle and thinking "oh its so exposed and there's no seatbelt", I'd done a few hours by this time and the novelty had worn off, soon got over though and it was only happened once. Looking forward to tommorrow and my next leson.

[maverick927]

I first fell off when I was 6 so never really had an understanding of fear at that age!

Well anyway you'll be fine when you fall. You're talking to a falling expert here! I have fallen off heaps of times and haven't come off any worse than a sore wrist, and once I got winded, but considering the fact that i have fallen off so many more times, you have nothing to worry about.
Once you get as experienced of falling off as i have, you'll learn to enjoy it. For me its a great excuse for a laugh. :D

[rusk]

What a great way to think about it!! I would probably enjoy my horse so much more if I didn't care if I fell off or not. I wish I had your attitude, it must be wonderful.
But as you say, for even me, falling off is never as bad as you imagine and once you get up again, you can breath a sigh of relief until the next time!
p.s.
Wally your horses sound perfect! One day I want an Icelandic with brains like yours!:D :D

[Secret Trick]

Returning to riding after a longish break, I know where you are coming from :) I think it's mainly the fear of injury that sometimes jumps into my head! But in my previous falls, I've never been hurt ... just in the saddle one minute, on the ground the next!

Maybe it's the older you get the more you think about it :rolleyes:

My first fall was when I was learning how to canter ... my first realisation that I had actually fallen off, was that I was on the ground, and not in the saddle! I ended up laughing :D with my mount a few metres away, head turned towards me as if to say "Hey, how'd you get down there?"

[Wally]

I know it sounds daft, but Icelandics can really get upset if you fall off them. A friend will bear me out on this one. She had a fall from her mare and it was the horse who lost confidence not the rider. Poor Gjoska, really was mortified when he mum fell off her.

I am not really the best person to advise folk who have a bit of thing with falling off. I tend to act the giddy goat and when it all turns to manure and I'm on the floor I take stock. I can see when someone is tense and nervous and I don't like to push them too far past the comfort zone, but I am lucky, I can be confident teaching nervous folk because I trust my horses, I know if I ask Fat Cob to do 3 strides of trot, or one of canter that's all he'll do, then 2, then 3 and folk can get braver a step at a time literally!

If Heather asked me to try a high school move which involved leaping ten feet in the air with no stirrups...(on one of her horses I hasten to add!!....in one of her saddles!) I'd be game....if I came off well, c'est la vie! At my age I should have more sense!:D :D :D But I don't class myself as a brave rider....put up a set of BIG jumps and I think of something else I'd rather be doing, so we all have our weak spot!

Don't let it worry anyone, As I've said before ther is no shame in admitting your limits and STICKING to them.

[Gillysgirl]

Oh I know exactly how you feel. In my 8 months of riding I've fallen off twice. Both falls ended up with nothing but some soreness that was gone in a weeks time. But I know how you feel though. At my first lesson after my most recent fall, my instructor asked me to trot and I was so frozen with fear, I just sat on the horse and started crying. I was so embarrased given the fact my instructor is younger than I, and a small child on a pony whizzed by at a canter just as I was apologizing for crying. I felt really stupid, but I'm working on getting over my fear. Haven't cantered yet since the last fall, but I am planning on going for it at my next lesson on Tuesday. Just remember to have fun!

[RichardL]

Hi, I am 51 and have just taken up horse riding. I had my first fall on my 4th lesson from an 18.2 hh gentle giant called Monte. My first thought was just to make sure I got back on there and then. It is a risky sport and that is part of what makes it so much fun. My only advice is to try and relax if you fall and think about it after wards. I did and realised that the reason I fell was that I was doing something wrong, it is a tough way to learn but I haven't done that again, so far.

I like the visulisation idea. Use whatever strategy works for you in silencing those anoying little voices that tell you all sorts of strange things, most of which are greatly exaggerated by your mind.

Just keep in mind how much fun and enjoyment you get out riding horses and that will outwiegh the fear elemant, well it did for me.

[Ali C]

Hi! I too am 31 and have been riding again for nearly a year now. I've fallen off 3 times in the last year and the first two times landed in a heap on the floor. The 3rd time, self preservation took over and I somehow managed to land on my feet!

Personally, I think it's best to bail out if you think you're going to fall off. Those first 2 times I fell off, I held on for as long as possible and slipped around all over the place which made the horse I was riding just go faster in an effort to get this demented woman off its back!

Shellsing - please don't worry - if it happens, it happens. I just ended up with a few bruises when I fell off which I proudly showed off to anyone who'd look for the next week!

Ali

[Esther.D]

Just to add to what everyone else has said. I have been riding for 22 years and have fallen off literally hundreds of times at least(I started riding at 3, at that age you fall off all the time:D ). Like Janet I too was taught how to fall, first off a barrel then off a pony! I too have never (fingers crossed;) ) hurt myself seriously and have never broken a bone. But I still get nervous sometimes after a break from riding. I drove horses rather than rode them for 10 years between the ages of 13 and 23...this was a bad time to take a break - at 13 I believed myself indestructable and rode anything, by 23 I had suddenly realised I was mortal and was a lot more cautious:D An adult rider, particularly a novice rider is almost never as confident as a child as we have developed a better sense of self-preservation:D

[CityGirl]

Shellsings:
I completely understand your fear. I rode as a kid for 6 years & then stopped. I returned to riding about a year ago (I'm 28) & spent a lot of time thinking/worrying about falling. Like you, I just wanted to get it over. Month after month went by & it didn't happen even in some pretty dicey situations & that furry little fear thing kept getting bigger & BIGGER. Then - after 9 months of woryying & not falling - in the matter of 10 minutes I managed to fall off 2x! :D The first time my horse was spooked by another horse as I was in the middle of adjusting my stirrups. The second, as we went over a jump, I continued on my (straight) line to the next jump & Florida decided to take a sharp right!:D
Both times I fell pretty hard (landing flat on my back in a pile of mud - ugh) but the worst bruise was to my pride!
Anyway - in retrospect - my worries were "much ado about nothing". You will fall but the odds are really in your favor that the worst thing you'll sustain is some ouches & bruises. If you really are worried - cut down on the risky activities. You're much more likely to get hurt doing X-country than dressage so figure out your risk tolerance & then chose your riding activities accordingly.
Remember - you got into riding because you love doing it - THAT is what matters!:D

[mojo]

Shellsings, I am in exactly the same position as you. I have had a couple of very scary incidents with horses whilst being on the ground, and these seem to have masked my fear of falling off but as I have gradually begun to get over the fear of being trampled, falling off has become more of an issue. I have also been riding for 18 months and have not yet fallen. As I am writing this I am touching the wooden desk in front of me, yet I am kind of caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I don't want to fall off but somehow wish I would just hurry up and get it over with to know what its like. I almost came off last week when the horse I was riding, named Tizzy, so called because she gets herself in a Tizzy over the slightest thing, shied rather badly in the school. I lost my left stirrup and tipped a bit but then regained my balance, this has happened a few times in the past and I know its only a matter of time. The anticipation is terrible!
Is there anyone out there who has ridden for ever and ever and has never fallen off, or is this just wishful thinking? It is isnt it?.......oh poo!!
So far the apprehension about falling hasnt interfered too much with my riding and lately I have been improving and feeling more confident by the week. I was so flattered on my lesson last week as they had built a new viewing gallery in the school and my instructor asked me to ride Tizzy as she felt I was the one in the group most able to cope with her antics. My head was so big I can tell you. I was made up, even though she did nearly have me off. Got more praise on Monday for riding my horse forward in canter with such confidence. God I am singing my own praises! Shameless arent I !! but do you know what? in the back of my mind i just keep thinking about that bubble about to burst. I just wonder if when it does finally happen and I do go 'a**e over t*t' or whatever acrobatic manoevre this first fall decides to manifest itself in, I am going to go straight back to square one. Confidence level numero zero again and I cant bear to think of that. Still I guess thats part and parcel of what makes a good horsewoman. When it happens I'll no doubt be straight on here letting you all know. Hopefully i'll live to tell the tale!!

[Debby Riley]

Shellsings

The day before i fell for the first time see posted in general ist fall still laughing, i felt exactly the same way as you, honestly the fear is worse than the fall, some have already said this but it was relief getting that first fall out the way, it happened too quick for me to think about it, i am bruised but it was worth it to get over that feeling, i got straight back on despite being winded, i had at the begining of the lesson put the furry creature as janet had suggest on the fence but boy did i enjoyed kicking the imaginary furry thing way high in the air and out of sight he is gone for good now:D

I am looking forward to my next lesson as i now know that i can stop thinking about falling off and i can now put the energy into improving my riding.

Try not to let it ruin the enjoyment of riding, you will fall off on day everyone does at some time in the their riding career but it is not that bad. The fear is worse we all get anxious about the un expected but try to think of another sistuation that you dreaded and that turned out okay didn't it;)

[Kerry's Partner]

I have NEVER understood some of the things I was told in the past. Things like you have to fall off xyz number of times before you can really ride!!!!!!!!!! etc etc

Having fallen quite enough really - but not in latter times (thank goodness because let's face it, it hurts), my opinion is that statements similar to the one I referred to above are a bit daft!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW I'm actually saying it!!

I don't think you have to fall off to be a good rider. It should not be inevitable that people fall off imo. imo also, falling off is mostly to do with inappropriate mount for level of experience, inappropriate rider for level of horse, and/or inadequate level of knowledge and teaching ability in the instructor (which I don't necessarily blame the individual concerned for btw) and/or the need to make a profit because it's a business after all!!

[Stella2]

Kerry - but then there is the spooking (not so likely on a riding school horse in the arena). The two occasions I have been off my mare were both the consequence of a spook. As a middle aged novice I'm still working on deepening my seat! As I limp toward a deeper seat, I hope the likelyhood of eating dusk will be much lower when I get there. I used to think like you about the "you have to fall off x (7 is what I heard) times to be a rider", now I wonder if its some kind of reference to the avarage length of time it takes to deepen a seat! I've come off three times in total (in 19 months). I hope it won't take 7 before the deep seat, but I suspect there will be another couple!

For what its worth none of the falls were worth the worry about them. Mostly I was just a bit sore for a few days. Once I had a sprained wrist which took a bit longer.

I agree with Esther about adult riders being more nervious. It seems that way to me for me and other adult novices I know. I'm better than I used to be at focusing on the job in hand, but the niggly worry is never far away. Maybe I need the other 4 falls to really accept that they are not worth the worry!

[janet hakeney]

I go along with Kerrys Partner to a certain extent. You don't have to fall off at all to become a good rider. It is neither necessary or constructive in reaching that goal although it can be character building in a minor way. Certainly you should not fall off while you are under instruction on a school horse if your Instructor is doing her job properly and the horse is correctly trained. (this statement will get some replies for sure)

Unfortunatley most commercial Riding Instructors are in an invideous position that if they only went at the safe rate of progress to acheive this, and established your seat and consolidated your learning so that you were 'safe' and not in danger of being out of control of both the horse and your own body on top of it....very few of their customers would keep going back firstly because it would be very expensive and secondly because customers would think they weren't progressing at the rate they would wish to. Building foundations is long winded and not always exciting process.

In a perfect world novice riders should be taught on a one to one riding the best schooled horses in the barn, and only when they have established their seat and aids progress to a group environment and less well trained horses. But life dictates the opposite occurrs and that is when accidents are prone to happen.

The riders at the Spanish Riding School spend, I think it is, a couple of years on the lunge establishing their seat before they are considered competent to ride unsupervised on the school horses.

[virtuallyhorses]

On the fear topic I had a very satisfying chat with one of my instructors in the weekend. She finally remembered why students freeze up (grip) when learning to ride! (apart from just not understanding the mechanics) She had a scary experience on a ferris wheel and I took great delight in pointing out that she was scared for the same reasons as learners - lack of control! It clicked and she now has a lot more sympathetic view on learning to ride ;) [ she was a great teacher before but now she REALLY understands ]

[Stella2]

Four falls now - drat!!!

just the other three to go then - perhaps!

[Stella2]

Shellsing, that was supposed to be reasuring, then I realised that it may not be without me adding that I was fine, remounted and got on with it. I was a bit nervious the next time on board though. That irritates me as I should have learned that its fine! It seems that the experiences of us all tells us that we are more likely to be fine than hurt.

What do others think about holding a neck strap when doing something that may unseat you? I'm inclined to think that it may save the horses' mouth from being pulled (but maybe not as instinct may have you grab the reins as well), but if gravity is really taking your body off the horse, holding the neck strap is not going to keep you up there, it may even make things worse since it could result in the horse speeding up to escape the madness as Ali says and also you may fall not really clear of the horse. Just a thought, I'd love to know what others think about this.

[rusk]

Usually I'm off before I can decide whether to grab something or not!Maybe it's best as you could make things worse hanging on. I used to hang on to the reins with my first horse because we'd be miles from anywhere and I didn't fancy walking home. He knew though and just stopped. Once or twice on strange horses I did the same thing and broke the reins, or the bridle came off. Best not to think about falling at all!:D
I bought a bright red waterproof cover for my expensive saddle and every time I thought it was going to rain I put it on. BUT, when I did that it never rained! We used to laugh about it. SO, prepare yourself for a fall, back protector etc: thinking well if I do I won't be hurt anyway, then ride out forget all about falling and it probably won't happen!!:D I know it doesn't make sense but it seems to work for me, maybe it's the thought that you're not going to let it bother you one way or another which makes you a bit more confident?

[tarkia]

If you do fall off the worst thing you can do is not get back on. Everyone falls off sometime, don't worry about it and its rare that you will ever get hurt.
Ive fell off three times, when I was doing a ten metre circle in sitting trot with no stirrups the horse I was riding decided to do a sharp turn the opposite way and I slid off and landed on my bum! It was funny and I wasn't hurt.
The second time I was on a very tall thoroughbred :rolleyes: and the the instructor was passing a whip over to the rider infront, my horse I was riding bolted off, I flew off the back end ... and landed on my bum! That had to be put in the accident book though because the horse I was riding actually ran at the instructor.
The third time was on a riding trail in the lake district, I was on some really naughty arabian horse called Dallas and for some reason he doesn't like puddles, the horse infront was a massive thoroughbred he was really tall and was trotting quite fast so Dallas was cantering, he broke into an extremily fast and bump trot, I lost both of my stirrups, he seen a puddle infront, stopped and I flew off into the puddle, I twisted my knee but I got back on and by the time we reached the stables again my knee felt better.

Don't worry about falling off its usually funny and its not likely that you will get hurt.