Instructor dilemma

[Waikato Valuta]

Hi I have a problem with my instructor.

She is a great rider herself but I don’t find I learn any thing from her as she dose not explain things well. I don’t feel I can control my horse very well e.g. stopping and bend so why should i try to pull his head in. My horse has a leaning problem and she totally dose not take this into account. She wants me to work with contact and on the bit all the time.

I know you are just going to say change instructors and don’t worry I really want to, but the trouble is she is a friend of my mothers She and my perents think my horse is going really well but going on the bit is nothing if you cant control him

I have tried talking to her about him but she wont listen. My perents don’t want me to change. and She teaches at my school so i would have to see her almost every day.

I almost feel like just not getting lessons.

Thanks for any replies

[cvb]

what options have you got ? Do you know of any other instructors in your area ?

If there are other instructors you could suggest that it would be good for your development to do some work with another instructor and maybe rotate e.g. the 'normal' instructor every other time ?

Or maybe try and get to some clinics with different instructors ?

Or you can persevere trying to get through to the existing instructor. This can be quite tough - so you have to be quite stubborn but also very tactful !:D ;) e.g. EVERY lesson ask how you can get your horse lighter in your hands and not leaning. Even if she answers, ask it AGAIN next time. Or ask it in slightly different way. Its called the 'broken record technique' and is a known negotiation tactic !

Its also worth keeping talking to your parents (again tactfully). You could try saying you feel you are on a plateau (known to happen in the learning process ) and that to speed up progress you would like to try a different instructor. Again just keep it low key but keep the message the same. Make sure you do not imply that it is personal about the instructor or anything to do with her ability - just a question of where you are at right now with your horse. You don't want to trigger them into defending their friend or their position will get more entrenched.

The other useful thing can be reading up on your issue and then discussing your reading with your instructor (be persistent if she changes the subject !).

You may have lost the most recent battle but that does not mean you lost your war !

[nix]

Hi Waikato

I can see your difficulties with the instructor being your mum's friend. You say that when you try to talk to "her" about your horse she doesn't listen ... is that your instructor? She really should be listening to you, after all you pay for her time.

Also although she may be an excellent rider, that does not necessarily predispose her to be an excellent or even good teacher. Good teachers should have good listening skills and be able to give clear, understandable explanations for each movement you are being taught.

Perhaps you should try to speak to your parents again. Quietly explain to them as you have on here, that although you don't want your mum and her friend to fall out that you would either like to try a different instructor, perhaps temporarily, or for your mum to have a chat with her friend to explain how you are feeling and what you'd like to have changed in your lessons. Try to be as nonconfrontational as possible while trying to get your point across and hopefully your parents will listen to you. After all how you feel about your riding is more important than how you and your horse look to other people.

Please keep us posted ... and good luck :)

Nicki

[galadriel]

Getting on the bit is different from pulling his head in. When you get on the bit you actually want a very, very *light* contact. If he is leaning, you're not accomplishing this.

This may be something you can say to your instructor to ask her for clarification; that you'd like to get him on the bit as she wants, but you know you're not doing it right now, and you want more clarification of how.

You could also ask her to get on and demonstrate what it is she wants. Has she ever ridden your horse? I find it's much easier to teach someone on a horse I have ridden, because I have some idea how the horse specifically responds to aids. I also have some idea of the horse's problems. If you can watch her ride and see what she does (if she gets him "on the bit") and then get her to tell you *exactly* what she did, tht might help you too.