Opinions please - is a little time each week better or worse than none at all?

[Peace]

Haven't spent much time with Quanah over the past month, due to graduation pressures. Today I was out to see him for the first time in about two weeks, and the little so-and-so actually nipped me. This is only the second time he's ever done this - the first was the day after I bought him. He'd not had anyone's undivided attention on a regular basis in a long while before I took him on, so I just put it down to insecurity. Sure enough, with regular attention, the nipping never happened again and the mouthing ceased within a few months.

Of course, now I am totally guilt-ridden over not having spent enough time with him and causing him to return to his wicked ways.:( I think he's back to feeling insecure over not getting regular attention from his person, and this caused him to nip.

Here's my question: now that I'm studying to take the bar exam, I doubt I'll be able to spend more than one afternoon a week with him between now and the end of July. Do y'all think it will upset him more to have me pop in so infrequently - would he be happier with just his regular barn routine? (My barn owner is the sort you can trust absolutely to take care of your horse.) Or do you think he'd prefer having my attention once a week over none at all?

[maverick927]

He probably would like a little bit of attention every so often but remember one thing, your future is more important than seeing a pony. You only have one chance at getting this graduation, but you have lots of chances after to stop the nipping. Do not feel guilty! When you have loads of money rolling in Quanah will be able to appreciate all the extra carrots you will give him to make up the lost time.

[Peace]

Thanks, maverick - that makes me feel better.:) I keep telling myself Quanah needs an employed mother - good job I don't have children, isn't it? I'd be worrying myself to death!:o

[Kezzabelle]

Hi Peace, I think the key is your horse needs to know where he stands. He doesnt understand that you have important exams therefore he doesnt know if he's coming or going. I think your horse deffinitley needs a routine just so he knows whats what and doesnt go back to his naughty ways! ;) Hope you get something sorted out and good luck with your exams :)

Luv Kez xx

[virtuallyhorses]

If you can pop in and see him for short periods of time each week, it will keep a relationship going. Horses aren't like children, he's not going to spend hours pining after you or wondering why you don't come more often if you see him once a week or once a fortnight, horses live in the moment.

As for returning to his wicked ways, in fact that's not really true. Horses always test you no matter how often you see them, its just a lot more subtle when you see them a lot and they are satisfied that you are still a suitable leader more easily. He hasn't returned to anything really, he is being a horse and just said 'Wonder if this person is still a suitable leader?' after all, with an absence you could have become infirm or weak or cowardly and therefore not suitable for him to be subordinate to, so just like a new horse (or returning horse) he tested you. If he nipped you probably missed several tests ;)

[Peace]

Horses always test you no matter how often you see them, its just a lot more subtle when you see them a lot and they are satisfied that you are still a suitable leader more easily.

You know, that makes a lot of sense.:) I suppose my absentee mother guilt led me down the old anthropomorphic path there for a while. Thanks, Viv!:)

[KarinUS]

Of course you will go see him once a week. Won't you miss him otherwise? I think if one visit per week is all you can squeeze in, it's better than nothing.

[Peace]

Oh, I'd miss him something awful!:( I guess I was worried, though, that giving him six days of his basic routine punctuated by one day of unusual activity might be upsetting. You know how horses love their little routines!:)

And poor little Quanah has had some bad luck with owners disappearing on him - I'm his sixth one, and he's not four yet. So I guess I was a little worried that coming in one day a week, fussing over him, and then leaving him alone for the next six days might rekindle some abandonment anxiety. He's one of those horses who would follow someone around all day if he could (as long as there was plenty to eat:) ).

But he has his herd, and he adores my barn owner, who loves him back. So I think I'm probably over-reacting.:o :)

[kedwards]

I think your visiting would be pretty nice, as "disruptions of routine go." ;) After time, the once a week visits will become their own routine. Anyway, would you want him to get too fixed into a routine that didn't include you at all? If you can afford the time once a week, then go visit. You'll both enjoy it and have a better week because of it.

[Peace]

Kezzabelle - sorry, somehow missed your post yesterday.:) I don't know why he doesn't understand about exams - I tell him about them everytime I see him!:D But you have a good point about regular routines. Let's hope once/week will be enough of one for him.:)

kedwards - you're right, I don't want a routine that excludes me entirely! Guess I didn't think that through.:) Quanah already seeks out Cathy, not me, to "tattle" when the other horses are "mean" (read: defending themselves from coltish paints:) ). He jogs up to her, switching his tail the whole way, and halts about a foot in front of her face. Then he shoots a sidelong glance at the "guilty party," so she'll know who he's mad at.:D

[KarinUS]

to "tattle" when the other horses are "mean" (read: defending themselves from coltish paints ). He jogs up to her, switching his tail the whole way, and halts about a foot in front of her face. Then he shoots a sidelong glance at the "guilty party," so she'll know who he's mad at

Oh that's too adorable! What a smart little boy! :)

[galadriel]

Hey, Peace, my horses seem to be finally adjusting to seeing Mommy every two weeks instead of daily. Rather than sulking for a few hours when we show up, this weekend they came up to greet us when we arrived, we happy and calm while we handled them, and were in fact affectionate at times. (affectionate? Duchess isn't affectionate!)

I just posted about how well the weekend went, actually:
http://newrider.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20180

So don't worry about it :) If mine can handle being moved to such a different place, and seeing me only once every 2 weeks, I'm sure Quanah can be quite happy with seeing you as often as you can get to him.

Good luck on the bar! Don't stress too hard :)