i dont know if i should keep riding

[hollysmum1973]

i had a pretty serious riding accident just over 18 mnths ago. im back riding again but just cant stomach anything other than walk anymore. i had to trot yesterday on a narrow lane to let a car through and felt so scared. after the trot was over i was in tears. my mare is happy to just walk but there isnt much off-road riding where we are.
i dont know wether to just plug on and hope it gets better or just admit defeat. i used to love riding and as i said im still happy just walking but what if i have to trot again ?!

[rtk]

I'd be surprised if you were not feeling this way after a bad accident, especially with so much time away from riding.

Its one of the reasons they always used to make you get straight back on the horse after a fall.

If you still enjoy just walking then carry on. Now you have got the first trot over with you might find the next one less stressful. From my experience its a gradual process. You might never get back to where you were but can still get enough confidence to enjoy what you do.

I haven't had a bad accident recently but I did lose a lot of nerve when I had my daughter as I'm a single parent. She's 18 now and driving so I'm gradually building my confidence back. Unfortunately my horse is 33 so cant do that much and I'm too heavy for my daughters.

[Fleabitten]

I'm so sorry for you, it's a truly horrible position to be in.

Could you find a sympathetic RI to work with, to maybe help you re-establish some confidence? My fab RI helped so much with my confidence issues, they're still there to a point but she's definately helping me to work through them.

Could you move yards to somewhere with more, quiet hacking, where you can just plod along happily?

Could you go right back to basics for a while and not ride? Take the pressure off yourself, do loads of groundwork, work on building your bond with your mare until you're more ready to ride again?

For me, the crunch point came when I wrote an advert to sell my mare. Seeing things on paper made it all clearer & I realised I wasn't quite ready to give it all up.

In my mind, riding is meant to enjoyable and only you know when and if it is time to call it a day. I wish you all the best :)

[Cazie]

This is really a question only you have the answer to. If you no longer enjoy riding then maybe it is time to stop.. there is nothing worse than that feeling of terror, the dry mouth, the dread, the feeling that you have because you feel you have to ride.. then again if you want to, but fear stands in your way, then get some professional help to over come this. If all you actually want to do is potter down the field or road in walk, then only do that.. there are no rules you know.

[Lauzy]

I really feel for you. It is such a horrible situation to be in.

Like the other posts, I was going to see if maybe you could find a RI that would understand and maybe help you to re-build your confidence.

Yesterday was a milestone, you didn't want to trot, but you did, and you did it. Look on it as an acomplishmant (sp?).

I hope you find a way to pull through this difficult time.

[disgruntled]

It's your horse, if you are happy to just walk then fine! People buy horses to do as they please with them, there's no rule to say you must walk, trot, canter, jump etc! If you want to try and conquer your fear, try NLP - neuro linguistic programming. It really does help with riding anxiety. http://www.positivelyriding.com/page/page/1947036.htm this is one I googled, but there are lots of nlp practitioners about.

[hollysmum1973]

thankyou all :) sorry had to dissappear to turnout. im not sure what we have by way of riding instructors round here, shes near sherborne, in dorset. it would have to be someone who comes out as i dont have transport. will have a scout around.
im the most confident person on the ground but put me in the saddle and my confidence just hides lol i know willow wont do anything awful but it felt so fast considering ive done no more than walk in the last 4 months. i just feel im cheating willow although she doesnt fight or jog when we're just walking,but when we trotted her ears pricked and she felt like she came alive
will take a look at that website.

[Jackblack]

i felt the same and some one on one lessons helped me so much in getting my confidence back, use a RS horse and you will get back in touch with your equine side in no time, your mare sounds perfect at least she like to walk and chill out, this will help you lots too.

chin up, you will get there,

[x.Moomoo.x]

I don't think you should give up.

Giving up on something which you once loved doing and were able to fully enjoy it, is not something you should turn your back on.

My friend shattered her leg to absolute pieces last year in an awful jumping accident and had to have nearly the same length of time off as you, as her leg was in a metal cage, and she had to learn to walk again and build up the muscle in it.
Granted she has a lot of guts this girl, but she's only human, and it would throw anybody if this had happend to them, like it has you.

She started with basic 1 to 1 lessons with a lovely instructor on a RS horse, just starting with walk (as anymore and her leg couldn't cope) and she did this for weeks, then gradually trot, then a little canter. I'm not at all saying you MUST go faster than walk, because pleasure hacks round the country are lovely :) But for the confidence sides of things, I think lessons may be beneficial?

It really is completely up to you, if it has just knocked you, but tbh you are going to feel like this and it really is horrible and I feel so sorry for you - But I believe you can get to where you were before, with confidence again, you just have to take it slowly and not rush into anything... Do what YOU'RE comfortable doing and don't let anyone make you do more than what you feel capable. You CAN do it hun, just keep going with the walks until you build more confidence just being back on board again!

My friend did it so I think you can too! Believe in yourself that you'll get there and you're half way there :) Good luck x

P.s. where in the South West are you? (you can PM me if you like) I live there too :)

[clarabella_78]

This is really a question only you have the answer to. If you no longer enjoy riding then maybe it is time to stop.. there is nothing worse than that feeling of terror, the dry mouth, the dread, the feeling that you have because you feel you have to ride.. then again if you want to, but fear stands in your way, then get some professional help to over come this. If all you actually want to do is potter down the field or road in walk, then only do that.. there are no rules you know.

I agree - I do sympathise with you. Touch wood, I haven't been through a bad accident but I ended up feeling like this with my old horse as he and I had one too many near misses and I completely lost my confidence on him. It got to the stage I was making up excuses in my head not to ride, and I used to dread it when I ran out of reasons not to go. I figured out though it wasn't the riding I didn't like, so I bought another, much saner horse and I've never looked back. I know your situation is very different, but don't feel like you have to give up. It may just take time, or a change of situation to make you feel more confident. I think you probably already know in your heart which way you want to go with this. When you make the decision you'll know it's right as you'll feel so relieved. When I finally decided, after much crying and soul-searching, to sell my first horse, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

Like others have suggested - maybe moe your mare to somewhere with a school and an RI even for a few months and get some time in just riding in the school before you try speeding things up out hacking? However, if all you ever want to do is walk around the countryside there is nothing at all wrong with that. It's your horse, your hobby so take from it what you want and don't feel pressured to do any more.

[fth]

first of all well done to you for getting back on and riding again after your accident

and it IS horrible when you find out how scared you are -- but it is perfectly natural...your body sort of takes over and the adrenalin kicks in as a reaction...

the good news is you CAN get past this -- even if all you want is to be able to trot when you have to for a car to get past you, without being scared

one thing that happens is that as soon as our horse starts going faster, our adenalin kicks in and that triggers lots of feelings -- one way to deal with this is to get used to trotting -- and that is where having seat lessons or lunge lessons are WONDERFUL -- you can get used to the faster gait again while someone else is controlling the horse -- and some isntructors will even do this with you on your own horse once they get to know you and her...

so you can do this to get more comfy with the speed -- then you can build up to trotting in a safe area while not being on the lunge

this process can take as long as it needs to and it WILL work...


the NLP will also help you manage the fear as well -- so doing the work on the lunge or seat lessons along with some NLP would be a great combination

good luck

Cathy

[hollysmum1973]

thankyou all again :) your replies are what i needed to give me a boot up the backside and tell me im being silly (wrong word but the right one wont pop into my head). i used to love riding and have even got back on the one that caused my injuries for a very short ride.
i have never cried before when riding and i think i surprised myself more than anything and it got me thinking...can i keep doing this?
so the search for a understanding instructor begins :)

[x.Moomoo.x]

thankyou all again :) your replies are what i needed to give me a boot up the backside and tell me im being silly (wrong word but the right one wont pop into my head). i used to love riding and have even got back on the one that caused my injuries for a very short ride.
i have never cried before when riding and i think i surprised myself more than anything and it got me thinking...can i keep doing this?
so the search for a understanding instructor begins :)

Exactly. We all have days (for all sorts of reasons) when we think "I can't do this!!" but a day or two later when we have a clear, more optimistic head on our shoulder that says "Don't give up!" and hearing it from people also helps a lot too :)
So yes, search for an instructor! and even set yourself little goals when you have lessons or something, so when you've achieved it (nothing too OTT that'll worry you) but just something for you to focus on and say "I'm going to do that today :)" etc.

You'll get there don't worry!!!!! x

[Joyscarer]

If somebody was trying to get me to ride beyond my comfort zone then I wouldn't enjoy it and my confidence would be shattered.

I'm a big believer in doing what you are happy and comfrtable with.

I love horses, riding is only a part of that love. The riding I do is only on hacks. I hate riding in schooling patterns and I am terrified with being in enclosed areas.

I do what I like to do. No need for me to do anything else as it's not a sport for me it's a leisure activity :)

[penniewitch]

I only do 'lady hacks', luckily I ride with my daughter and she puts up with me, but if anyone else wants to come out with us, I tell them straight, its a lady hack and I only walk. I don't care, I enjoy myself in my own way, I certainly don't think my pony is bothered, though occasionally my daughter does take him for a blast.

If you only feel comfortable at walk, you walk. there is light at the end of the tunnel though, after 18 months of walking everywhere, I have recently started having 'little' canters, about 20 yards, so check me out lol.

Good luck and I hope you feel you can keep walking.