how do I word this e-mail politely

[wibble]

I have a share advert out for Colly and have had 3 responses. I have asked them to confirm they are under 11 and a half stone (i didn't put a weight limit on the ad) one has come back and said she is 13 which is too heavy for him. How can I reply sensitively and politely but say no?

Thanks

[essexlady]

lol, toughy Im not too good with words as you know :o

Maybe something along the lines of sorry the max he can carry is 11.5 stone, I will bear you in mind if any of my other horses come up for loan in the future.

That way your not rejecting her, just Colly needs a lightweight.

Or just dont reply that what loads of people have done to me :p

[flashbacksj]

Could you tell a white lie... :o
Say that you yourself are approx 13 stone and you found that he occasionally stuggled with you...

... OR the no come back option... VETS ADVICE STATES.... under 12stone? :p

Sorry not that helpful am i!

[Xandoz]

"Unfortunatly, due to my horse''s size and conformation, he is unable to carry a regular weight of more than 11 and a half stone. I am genuinely sorry.

Reagrds
(your name)"

I get lots of people asking to have rides on Daisy, so I often have to do the "How heavy are you? question and turn people down who are over 80kg.

[HJ]

Don't mention her weight, just tell her you have already found someone OR that you are no longer looking for a loaner

[doorstopper]

I have a share advert out for Colly and have had 3 responses. I have asked them to confirm they are under 11 and a half stone (i didn't put a weight limit on the ad) one has come back and said she is 13 which is too heavy for him. How can I reply sensitively and politely but say no?

Thanks

Maybe just apologise and say that she can really only be ridden by somebody under 11st7 for X reason - as long as somebody had a valid reason for me being the wrong weight, I wouldn't be offended. Apologise more than once though (that's what I do when I'm telling people they haven't got a job and it seems to work!).

Or say the share's just been taken and hope they don't know anybody who knows you ;)

[flump1967]

I am a fat girl and I wouldn't be at all offended if you just came back and said sorry but he is only up to carrying 11.5 stone.
Its not like you are being rude or judgemental, just stating your requirement for your pony.
Tis fine :)

[Xander]

ask her if she can read as you have already stated 11.5 max, its not your responsibility to state it again. i assume you did already mention it so she must already know... you didnt just ask how much they weighed without saying why? :rolleyes:

[wibble]

[QUOTE=Xandoz;2455619]"Unfortunatly, due to my horse''s size and conformation, he is unable to carry a regular weight of more than 11 and a half stone. I am genuinely sorry.

Reagrds
(your name)"

I used this thanks, I hate weight questions its always so hard.

At least I have had some interest

:)

[HJ]

ask her if she can read as you have already stated 11.5 max, its not your responsibility to state it again. i assume you did already mention it so she must already know... you didnt just ask how much they weighed without saying why? :rolleyes:

Yes: Insulting somebody by asking if they can read and then go on to talk about a sensitive issue is a really good way!

OP why didn't you use this?

[wibble]

I got an e-mail back telling me not to apologise.

All ended well thanks for (most) of the advice.

:)

[Xander]

I only put that, as being heavy myself (a lot over 13 stone at the mo :rolleyes:) i would never dream of replying to an ad where the weight limit was stated as a stone or so less than what i am. i know that even when they dont state weights i look at what type of horse it is, or if weight limiting conditions are mentioned, then dont bother replying if there might be any issue. what is the point? it just puts other people (like the OP) in the awkward position of having to reply saying sorry, but no. i just feel that its really silly of people to reply when the ad clearly says in the first place that they're not suitable.

[Xandoz]

Um, have you read the original post? She said she didn't list the weight requirement in the ad.

[Xander]

oh, thats fair enough then. i read it quickly (at work), i read it as 'did put weight in ad'. i take it back then. im sure i didnt read that the first time round. oh well. reading it how i did though, you can understand why i would be mortified, being in the position myself, why someone too heavy would reply to an ad for a lighter person. i only replied to one ad one time that didnt say specifically it was a light weight rider only (was a heavy weight horse but had arthritus or something). it was really embarassing. all i thought was i wished they'd put it on the ad, as it looked chunky enough for me, so was very decieving, & would have been better off warning people in the first place.

[Vicki&Milo]

I emailed a few peolple looking for loans about my ponies. I was honest and said that I felt awkward saying it but I was looking for someone under 8.5st because of their sizeand to get in touch if they thought they might be suitable but that I wouldn't be offended if it wasn't what they were looking for and I didn't hear.
I heard back from one who was suitable and one who wasn't but who I've now paired up with someone else.

[PoweredByHorses]

I am a fat girl and I wouldn't be at all offended if you just came back and said sorry but he is only up to carrying 11.5 stone.
Its not like you are being rude or judgemental, just stating your requirement for your pony.
Tis fine :)
same here.

some people have difficulty dealing with anything to do with their weight/size and do not like being told they're over the weight limit as it's making their problem and limits obvious, but there are also people who prefer being told the truth,am overweight but would be ok with being told am too fat or overweight for a horse/pony.

It would help people understand how weight affects riding and the horse/pony better if they are told the truth about being over the limit,rather than using another reason.

[Widget]

I would probably wimp out and just say you already found someone. (and then add the weight limit into the advert for next time!)

[BlueWicked]

sorry to go OT a bit - but didnt you buy him as a weight carrier for your hubby to ride:confused:

[wibble]

sorry to go OT a bit - but didnt you buy him as a weight carrier for your hubby to ride:confused:

no OH is only 11 stone, it was for him to learn to ride on but he has swapped to Dime as colly is a bit more lovely now he is happy and well cared for. He is good but not suitable for a complete beginner out hacking unlike Dime.

I ride Colly though when I am not killing myself and love riding him:)

[pachypach]

My friend keeps asking me if she can ride my horse.
I weigh 11 stone, she is way more than me (prob 12 stone), which is too heavy. (she deludedly says she weighs the same as me!)
I have already told her she is too heavy, but she asked again the other day, now it is getting tiring refusing her. She is also a non rider! I think she just wants to say she's been on my horse, dont think she's actually that interested in it all....
How can I explain to her no?!

[mikh]

no OH is only 11 stone, it was for him to learn to ride on but he has swapped to Dime as colly is a bit more lovely now he is happy and well cared for. He is good but not suitable for a complete beginner out hacking unlike Dime.

I ride Colly though when I am not killing myself and love riding him:)

The great thing about colly is that he is connie (registered right?) so would shift easily in the uk if your hubby prefers Dime.... I'm a Dime fan!!!! :D:D:D:D Can you tell? lol

[Pale Moon]

ask her if she can read as you have already stated 11.5 max, its not your responsibility to state it again. i assume you did already mention it so she must already know... you didnt just ask how much they weighed without saying why? :rolleyes:

Why be so rude for god's sake??:confused:

[simons-mum]

My friend keeps asking me if she can ride my horse.
I weigh 11 stone, she is way more than me (prob 12 stone), which is too heavy. (she deludedly says she weighs the same as me!)
I have already told her she is too heavy, but she asked again the other day, now it is getting tiring refusing her. She is also a non rider! I think she just wants to say she's been on my horse, dont think she's actually that interested in it all....
How can I explain to her no?!

Explain to her that people who are not used to riding bounce around a lot on a horses back causing stress and putting pressure on them that they are not used to so if she wants to learn to ride she should go to a riding school for lessons and they will put her on a horse that is big enough to cope with the extra strain of a beginner ;)

[pachypach]

Thanks simons mum, well put, will try it out....

[Shelby&Me]

My friend keeps asking me if she can ride my horse.
I weigh 11 stone, she is way more than me (prob 12 stone), which is too heavy. (she deludedly says she weighs the same as me!)
I have already told her she is too heavy, but she asked again the other day, now it is getting tiring refusing her. She is also a non rider! I think she just wants to say she's been on my horse, dont think she's actually that interested in it all....
How can I explain to her no?!

Tell her he's a NUTTER!!!;)

[Xander]

Why be so rude for god's sake??:confused:

uugggggh already said on my other post that i thought the OP said she HAD put the weight limit in the ad - hence why on earth would a 13st person reply to an ad for an 11st or less person. it was only said light heartedly in the first place, even when i thought the post said something it didnt. for gods sake.

[HashRouge]

My friend keeps asking me if she can ride my horse.
I weigh 11 stone, she is way more than me (prob 12 stone), which is too heavy. (she deludedly says she weighs the same as me!)
I have already told her she is too heavy, but she asked again the other day, now it is getting tiring refusing her. She is also a non rider! I think she just wants to say she's been on my horse, dont think she's actually that interested in it all....
How can I explain to her no?!
Well, if she's a non-rider she probably just wants to have a sit on your horse and a little plod around the paddock with you leading her. I don't see how that is going to hurt - 12 stone isn't all that much more than 11 stone after all if you're having a walk round. I would just let her have a little go :)