Beware the power of the internet

[eml]

Discovered today one of my 'clients' has been posting pictures of all my horses on Facebook etc including ones stolen off my website. Not just normal teenage showing off but making it clear she doesn't like my lessons, only 'her' ponies (my two quietest schoolmasters which are all that she will willingly ride) are any good. Apparently for example I am boring and mad and never let her jump although she can 'jump 3mtrs'...possibly because everytime I ask her to pop over a tiny X pole she ends up crying and pulling the pony out.

She is banned as of tomorrow when I let her parents have the copy file I have downloaded.

Seriously makes me wonder what on earth the point is in trying to teach properly anymore. I came very close to deciding to hang up my retired sign tonight

Think how your posting affect other people. Very different boasting with your friends to putting this in open files...its called libel.

[Skippys Mum]

I really hope you ban her in front of all her little pals - maybe make her - and them - think twice:mad:

[Returning_Rider]

I don't blame you for being upset and put off by something like this, but there is 1 thing to remember and be proud of, and that is the amount of people that have gotten alot of happiness and fun from learning to ride under your instruction :)

I don't know to what level of an RI that you are, but I suspect that you're a pretty good RI from your knowledgeable and level headed posts and you also strike me as being a patient person, which can be very difficult at times :)

Always remember that no matter how hard something seems to be, always take pride in knowing that you are doing the best you can to help people learn something new and fun, and that is most surely something to be proud of :)

[eml]

Her fellow pupils have been telling me what awful things she was saying to them and I put it down to teen drama as she is not a popular person, the sort that blames everyone else when things don't suit her.

Very public announcement will be forthcoming!

Leaves you with a cold and nasty feeling. I have only had to ban twice in the past 20 years both of which were basically teenagers behaving stupidly and after a cooling off period had them back. This one will not be returning.

[Alice1992]

What an idiot. I fund out that phoebe was being faked years ago by a wannabee she was on e bebo profile underte name of star light ad she was aparently a cross county horse. I was like excuse me get my horse off of your profile. Stupid person.

She doesnt deserve to be riding your school masters mak surhe parens do kno!!!

[newforest]

i don't get involved with this facebook or my space stuff

[horseygal90]

Harsh to ban her imo, fair enough sacking someone from work for being rude towards the job on facebook but at the end of the day... would you ban her if she was saying it down the park to her mates? Don't think so. Obviously your business and you can do what you want with your riding school, but if I heard that the YO/RI had a habit of banning people who didn't 'make the grade' (after all, rumours are rarely right about the causes behind it all) I wouldn't be booking a lesson.

[i must be mad]

I find it a bit spooky when i see people living in a fantasy world.
I am just trying to imagine why she would be taking lessons at any riding school for riding, she should be far too busy winning at Olympia.
As you teach her are we to believe that she jumped nine feet on your horse without you noticing??

[Vicki&Milo]

I'm sorry EML, I usually have the upmost respect for your words of wisdom, but in this particular case I am quite shocked by the way you've reacted.

Whether you ban her or not from your business is your decision, but I find it a little reactive myself. People, particularly teenage girls, will say things and act differently to get a reaction or to fit in with the persona they want to put across, but at the end of the day, she is choosing to come to you to ride; which probably tells you she actually enjoys it.

Aside from that, you seem to have resorted to childish sniping Apparently for example I am boring and mad and never let her jump although she can 'jump 3mtrs'...possibly because everytime I ask her to pop over a tiny X pole she ends up crying and pulling the pony out. She is fundamentally a child, and you are an adult

[summercandy]

sounds like the teenager is trying the wrong way to make herself popular.Definitely sounds like something is very wrong somewhere in her life if she feels she needs to invent it,but I also don't think that banning her will be the right thing to do. By all means show her parents what she has done but I seriously think that there is more to the reasons behind this,not that I mean there is any truth in anything she is saying but it sounds to me that she is seriously frustrated at herself and therefore taking it out on you as to why she can not succeed in her dreams.I think some serious words and an offer to start afresh with a warning if anything like it happens again she will be banned should be sufficient to make her wake up and realise she is in the wrong and what she would be losing from her life.

[trotter26]

*Marmite* or if thats not her user name then its very simliar (she changed it once she got caught out), did the same thing. Published a lot of not true at all stuff, including that we were working a lame horse which she'd been asked to personally bandage herself, in order to disguise its lameness dontcha know ;) All the while she was portraying herself as a cross between pat parelli and pippa funnell. This was from the person who wouldnt ride anything other than our staidest schoolmaster and then moaned that she couldnt get him to trot :rolleyes:

It wasnt so bad for me, I wasnt the owner or even her instructor, but none the less that sort of thing is hurtful and incredibly damaging to the reputation of a RS. There were alot of people who jumped on her bandwagon without knowing the yard involved. They were basing their opinions on the stories of a 15yr old very nervous, very novice rider. There was an apology published, but I'll bet almost none of those peope took on board that the posts were a work of fantasy, even if it wasnt a delibarate sabotage attempt :rolleyes:

Big hugs to you EML that sort of thing is soul destroying, but I'd take heart in the fac there was almost certainly no real malicious intent,just a fanciful, misguided teenager :cool:

[starrynight]

How silly! I am always very careful about what i say on the internet - my facebook is private but even then i'd never write anything like that on it - the worst i've done is complain about my job but i did that while i was at work so it was no secret :p. On here i've only ever written about my RS in a good light as i really do like it and enjoy my lessons. Good job i do as someone who knows my RI read something i wrote, recognised it and told her. At least my RI was pleased about what i'd written about her. ;)

[trotter26]

I'm sorry EML, I usually have the upmost respect for your words of wisdom, but in this particular case I am quite shocked by the way you've reacted.

Whether you ban her or not from your business is your decision, but I find it a little reactive myself. People, particularly teenage girls, will say things and act differently to get a reaction or to fit in with the persona they want to put across, but at the end of the day, she is choosing to come to you to ride; which probably tells you she actually enjoys it.

Aside from that, you seem to have resorted to childish sniping She is fundamentally a child, and you are an adult

:eek:but EML is running a business, that needs at worst to make ends meet, and thats something alot of businesses arent doing right now! Hoe many people on here have bemoaned the closure of good riding schools? Why on earth shoud EML put up with this from a customer? Shes not this girls parent, or a teacher in a school, therefore she isnt responsible for ensuring this grils emotional wellbeing, esp not at the expense of her reputation :confused:

[Vicki&Milo]

As I said that is her, business, decision to make. But she is not here asking for business advice I presume and this is my opinion on a personal level.
As other people have suggested its unlikely this child is doing this with malice and a warning may well serve as a more useful tool, but thats just my opinion.

p.s. I was always taught, whilst a customer is paying they are always right......the bad press this girl may create if 'banned' may cause even more damage

p.p.s. EML, rise above this and don't take it personally, its a silly little girl, no reason to consider retirement

[horseygal90]

Like I said before... how many people are going to want to attend a riding school where the owner checks your facebook and bans you if she doesn't like what she sees?! (Which is how it will appear to the uninformed)

[LauraGeeGee]

Totally agree with your actions there.

At the end of the day what this girl has said is slanderous.

Doesn't matter how old she is, she has access to the internet and a computer and is old enough to write these things then subsequently she's old enough to take the consequences.

What's more damaging to the business? What this girl is saying or anything that EML could do? I think the former personally.

I think EML is right to deal with it in the way she is. It wouldn't hurt to mention the possibility of legal action if it continues too.

It's the same when people write things on facebook and the like about their employers and then find themselves sacked. Not suprising is it really.

[loopy1]

It's the same when people write things on facebook and the like about their employers and then find themselves sacked. Not suprising is it really.

i never understand that, if youre daft enough to slag your employers off online at least make your page private

[horseygal90]

It's the same when people write things on facebook and the like about their employers and then find themselves sacked. Not suprising is it really.

That imo is fully justifiable; I have my employers on Facebook and so I always watch what I say in relation to work. To openly post something like "My boss is a pervert!" on facebook (has been done before, and she got sacked for it) is a sackable offence. Just to clarify that...

If all RIs acted like EML is proposing to do, then I should have been thrown out of my uni riding club for some of my posts on here, and anyone who posts in the 'my farrier hit my horse!' style threads should also be needing to find themselves a new blacksmith.

[Peace]

Harsh to ban her imo, fair enough sacking someone from work for being rude towards the job on facebook but at the end of the day... would you ban her if she was saying it down the park to her mates?

But she's not just saying things to her friends - she's posting it on the internet for the whole wide world to read.

Maybe this is generational - I have the hardest time convincing my younger clients that they should not post anything on the internet that they don't want their husband or wife's divorce lawyer printing off and showing the judge.:eek: :D And when they ignore my advice, they are astoundingly outraged when their foolish postings are used in evidence against them. Go figure. What part of "publicly available information" do they not understand?

Anyway, if the silly child had only been saying things to her friends - well, eml wouldn't have been able to read it in black and white and probably wouldn't be nearly as steamed. I don't blame eml for not wanting to work with her anymore - it'd be hard to feel the same way about a student after reading that sort of thing.

[horseygal90]

But she's not just saying things to her friends - she's posting it on the internet for the whole wide world to read.

Maybe this is generational - I have the hardest time convincing my younger clients that they should not post anything on the internet that they don't want their husband or wife's divorce lawyer printing off and showing the judge.:eek: :D And when they ignore my advice, they are astoundingly outraged when their foolish postings are used in evidence against them. Go figure. What part of "publicly available information" do they not understand?

Anyway, if the silly child had only been saying things to her friends - well, eml wouldn't have been able to read it in black and white and probably wouldn't be nearly as steamed. I don't blame eml for not wanting to work with her anymore - it'd be hard to feel the same way about a student after reading that sort of thing.
Facebook is not *that* public if you don't want it to be. EML hasn't told us whether it was just *there* on her public profile or whether it was information from someone else who sent it to her, and it's on her private profile.

And unless I'm mistaken, it's not a student, it's a fee paying client. If it's a working student, then it's a little different and brings us back to the 'don't bad mouth your boss on FB' thing.

[Tuff_up]

AS a teen, and AS a student/paying client..its always been me that the RI has behind my back bullied me..:(..sorry for the last one we were in a different vehicle and where behind her..anyway..EML, talk to her parents..hear her point of the story (even though its obvious)..let her know your feelings on this, and see her reaction..if she is sincere and is willing to do extra work for free as an apology, or grooming ect ect (like I would) then maybe she made a HUGE mistake.. but if her parents and her are dignant..get rid of them..you don't need them.

[Wotsit]

This serves as a warning to everyone. People have lost jobs and employment tribunals over those jobs when they have posted things on facebook.

It is not a trivial thing imo and eml would be completely within her rights to sue and I'm not sure she'd have to work that hard to win. The girl has got off very very lightly with a banning imo. It will teach her a valuable lesson hopefully which wil stand her in good stead in later life.

You should always always think thrice before writing something down that is untrue or that you are not able to back up and prove. Especially as what you write can be retrieved even if you delete it.

[xfarnorthx]

Well, I'm with eml on this one. Yes it is harsh, but so is writing libellous statements on the internet for all to see! Actions have consequences - a valuable lesson for all of us but especially so for some teenagers who have yet to taste life in the real world. And if we are not prepared to live with the consequences of our actions......don't do it! Eml is running a business but whether from a business point of view or a personal point of view I think she is more than entitled to take whatever action she sees fit to protect her reputation.

The young person in question may well have unfortunate issues going on in her personal life which makes her want to live in a fantasy world but this might be the reason for her actions, not an excuse for them, and no matter what is happening in our own lives that should never excuse actions that are damaging or detrimental to others.

[Dooley]

I think the girl needs to be told that her actions are out of order, if only because she has been using photos which don't belong to her. She has no right to do that.

EML doesn't have to teach anybody she doesn't want to teach and I doubt she's going to lose many clients by banning one girl, no matter what the reasons are.

Personally I would have tried to just shrug it off as she's only a silly girl, and life's too short, but I do understand how it has made EML feel.

I don't understand posters who say they wouldn't go to EML's RS knowing she banned somebody because she didn't like what they said on facebook. Why the hell not? What difference does it make to others (apart from the benefits of not having the little troublemaker around when you go there :p)

EML, don't let one stupid little girl put you off doing what you seem to enjoy otherwise. I'm sure when it comes to taking action you won't retaliate with the same type of childish attitude - just advise her and her parents that she needs to find another RS.

[EquiBabe]

The photos are EML's intellectual property and the girl had no right to steal them from her. You can report this to FB who should do something about it http://www.facebook.com/legal/copyright.php After someone stole photos of my dogs I always put my name on all of any photos I put on the internet now. I can see it might be wroth speaking to the parents first but the girl shouldn't get away with it.

[scotnut]

Can I just say that EML has every right to ban this girl and I really don't think It will have been done in haste, only two people in how many years?! Can I also point out that at 15 years old it's a sad state of affairs if this Teenager,not small child, doesn't know right from wrong and that they're are always consequence's to your own actions!!! Also I'd like to point out to HG90 that people who have posted about farriers hitting their horses and the like have generally changed to a different professional, if this girl honestly thought EML was that terrible then surely she would have moved RS?!

x

[Joyscarer]

There is a difference between publicity (ie public) and private opinion.

If this were me I'd be doing what eml is doing and getting coppies of everything and then calling in the parents and child for a meeting. I'd present the evidence and say in light of that I would say that the child obviously doesn't have the attitude required to have benefited from her time at the school and that in any case the teaching/pupil relationship will have been damaged irrepairably by her actions.

Hopefully the girl will gain a well needed life lesson from this. At the end of the day she is still a child and does need to know about cause and affect. Whilst that isn't in eml's remit as a RS owner it is something she can take comfort from knowing that she has pointed the parent in the right direction.

[flinglebunt]

I can understand how you feels hurt but kids will be kids and her behaviour is not uncommon these days. I think you should rise above it aaand make light of the whole thing.

I think this kid is very short in confidence and her daft comments on the net are a symptom of this. As grown ups we should recognise this and deal with it accordingly. Publicly humiliating the child will hurt her well out of proportion to what she did and do nothing to help her and I think you will regret it afterwards. Over and above that how will other parents see your actions?

I guess she is 13 or 14 years old. I suggest a quiet word with the parents and let them deal with it. They are obviously happy with the lessons or they would not be paying out for them.

Let the parents deal with it and don't let the child know you have seen the silly commtnts.

[Denbenj]

All sounds very grotty!

I would probabley go direct to the kids parents and suggest some sort of public appology. As a parent of a teen I would be mortified, and my teen would get lecture on right/wrong way to do things, and like the OP stated.. the power of the internet to!

It will perhaps be a good lesson for her, You cant wrap them in cotton wool forever, they need to learn by their mistakes.

[Vicki&Milo]

It is not a trivial thing imo and eml would be completely within her rights to sue and I'm not sure she'd have to work that hard to win. .

Nice to see perspective hasn't been lost here at all :rolleyes:

Just to make a point though, EML has come on here, another public forum, and slated someone in exactly the same way. How do we know any of this is true (I assume it is, but you get my point), and I'm sure there are people who could work out who she's talking about. Has this girl got the right to sue too?

[Wally]

As another parent of a teen, if I caught them doing this, nothing eml could do would be anything to compare to the rocket they'd get from me.

Being a teenager is not excuse for that kind of filthy behaviour.

I am the first to make allowances for teenager and kids going through puberty, their brain really does rewire and they do go a bit loopy. (like being pregnant, your brain goes offline for a bit) But there's loopy and downright nasty.

Sadly not all parents take responsibility for discipline and boundaries, I would make it perfectly clear that I was unhappy and had seeen the comments.

Kids MUST learn to deal with the consequesces of their actions, tell them how unhappy it has made you and that their behaviour is toatlly unacceptable. Wagging a finger does nothing.

[Denbenj]

Nice to see perspective hasn't been lost here at all :rolleyes:



Do you have a teenager at home?!

So are you saying you would wrap the little cherub up in a big blanket and tell them everything will be ok? and book them into some therapist!

My own daughter has been in touble recently ( this was to do with texting) however I think she was quite shocked to find out that with modern technology these days, everything you write leaves a paper trail. Rather then in the past you could claim ' I didnt say that' these days its in writing. Its tough, and they HAVE to understand that.

[lobeliaoverhill]

i don't get involved with this facebook or my space stuff

ditto and every day I find a new reason not to use them!



Tough case to call EML, you can do something about her stealing your photos, so do that much, but don't get into a slanging match with her ... she can just set her profile to private and talk 'behind your back'. Take the moral high ground and laugh at her for being so childish - most teenagers think their behaviour makes them look cool, tough, intelligent or mature, where they actually end up looking like a total prat (notice the ones who swear when and adult walks passed, or shout to their mates across the street in front of everyone, etc?)

[Ruskii]

If I was called into a meeting with anyone and was presented with information like you are doing eml, I'd be lost for words and she'd be in serious trouble.

Yes teens due stupid things and as adults we still do sometimes (some more than others!) but that is way beyond the 'allowance' that is reasonable to give a teen.

I think your doing the right thing with downloading it all and showing it to her parents then giving her a ban from the riding school.

[notpoodle]

but why oh why ... if the child doesn't enjoy her lessons ... why is she coming back?? you must be doing something right :p

kids do the strangest things! she probly had no idea that good ol' you even knew what the interweb is :p

julia
x

[Vicki&Milo]

Do you have a teenager at home?!

So are you saying you would wrap the little cherub up in a big blanket and tell them everything will be ok? and book them into some therapist!

My own daughter has been in touble recently ( this was to do with texting) however I think she was quite shocked to find out that with modern technology these days, everything you write leaves a paper trail. Rather then in the past you could claim ' I didnt say that' these days its in writing. Its tough, and they HAVE to understand that.


No I don't, but I've worked with enough and have been on the recieving end of similar crap from them.
Do you think your daughter should have been in front of the courts for what she did.

[flinglebunt]

[QUOTE=Wally;2462092]As another parent of a teen, if I caught them doing this, nothing eml could do would be anything to compare to the rocket they'd get from me.

Being a teenager is not excuse for that kind of filthy behaviour.


I was chatting to a chap some time ago who had the father of a kid along the road call at the door with a copy of an email his son had sent to his daaaughter.

Luckily to man was quite pragmatic about it but felt strongly the boy should be told the error of his ways. The boys father locked the computer with a password and gave it to the girls dad and left it to him to decide when the boy had properly apologised.

It worked a treat and afetr a week of being starved of his games and stuff he made the grovelling apology to the girl in front of her whole family. He was left in no doubt by his dad that if there is a next time the computer goes under the sledge hammer....... I think he will be a better man for it.

[Denbenj]

Oh sorry Viki&Milo, I didnt realise you were a child expert as you have 'worked' with them!

:rolleyes:

[Sofi P]

IMO it would be appropriate to confront the girl with her parents but not in front of her fellow students. It's your call whether to ban her or not, though I dont think I would feel happy to continue teaching a girl who clearly has no respect for me as an instructor.

We were all teenagers once and sometimes these things get out of control. I remember once telling some friends that I was thinking of turning vegetarian, some guy over heard and started teasing me but I enjoyed the banter and played along even though I had no intention of ever actually being veggie. So I ended up 'accidentally' being vegetarian at school! But it all got out of hand a couple of months later when I was due to go on a French exchange trip and I had to fill in a form at school so I had to put that I was a veggie because my friends were watching and I didnt want to admit that I'd lied. I was so worried about it but I eventually confessed to my mum and she laughed saying that people change between veggie and non-veggie all the time so no one would care. She was right of course...

Obviously there was a difference because this was before the time of Facebook etc. but it still needs to be remembered that teenagers will often do anything for a bit of attention. I'm not saying it should go unpunished but I dont feel a public humiliation is appropriate.

[Denbenj]

[QUOTE=Wally;2462092]As another parent of a teen, if I caught them doing this, nothing eml could do would be anything to compare to the rocket they'd get from me.

Being a teenager is not excuse for that kind of filthy behaviour.


I was chatting to a chap some time ago who had the father of a kid along the road call at the door with a copy of an email his son had sent to his daaaughter.

Luckily to man was quite pragmatic about it but felt strongly the boy should be told the error of his ways. The boys father locked the computer with a password and gave it to the girls dad and left it to him to decide when the boy had properly apologised.

It worked a treat and afetr a week of being starved of his games and stuff he made the grovelling apology to the girl in front of her whole family. He was left in no doubt by his dad that if there is a next time the computer goes under the sledge hammer....... I think he will be a better man for it.

I have found computer removel/mobile phone a very effective way for teens to ponder over there actions!

[Vicki&Milo]

Oh sorry Viki&Milo, I didnt realise you were a child expert as you have 'worked' with them!

:rolleyes:

wtf are you even on about. What has me having mhy own children got to do with anything anyway. I was merely pointing out that taking a child to court over something lke this is a little extreme and perhaps as much a sign of the ridiculousness of the modern mindset as this whole facebook thing anyway

[eml]

Interesting and helpful thoughts from everyone.Yes it does seem less serious in the cool light of morning.

This is a girl who I have struggled with for a few years for general bad behaviour, shouting at horses, using stick inappropriately, being downright sulky and rude and refusing to try to follow directions etc.

I don't run a big commercial school but all clients are personally taught by me and do 'choose' who I teach rather than taking anyone who will pay.

Methinks I will ponder on it for a few hours before talking to the parents.

[kayjayhorses]

I think all it'll take is for this person to be spoken to with the involvement of the parents, give her a warning that if the bad behaviour continues then she needs to know what it WILL lead to. Speak to her like an adult in this circumstance and maybe she'll have a good look at her own behaviour, if you ban her publically then I think you are reducing yourself to her level. Maybe the parents will ban her for a few weeks so she can see what she'll lose which might be the slap in the face she needs.

[sancho]

I think you should speak to the parents and give them the evidence tbh.

Stop the lies and see what the parents say. I would also ban her for a month or two and then see if she wants to come back.

I agree that children should be responsible for their actions and if they were, then we wouldnt be in the position in this country where gangs of youths are wandering around causing havoc because they know they wont be penalised and the parents dont care!:mad:

Slightly off topic but its true. Kids these days dont tend to have the boundaries that us older ones were used too. I would not have wanted to get on the wrong side of my parents, policeman or any adult for that matter!

Why can random people copy your photos anyway, surely it wouldnt be too difficult to make pictures non copyable (?!!).

[bevy]

I have read this with interest, and have decided to add my comments. I think Eml is quite within her rights to play the libel card as that is what it is, if it is written and visible. To those who think she is "over reacting", what about if the teen had posted that she had been "touched" inappropriately? Those sort of accusations have led to peoples' lives being destroyed, even though they were completely untrue.

[xfarnorthx]

Frances and Sancho put it very well. This isn't a one-off - this would appear to be a pattern of behaviour that impacts on those around the girl. It is always valuable to be shown the impact that our behaviour has on others and how, in turn, this comes back on to ourselves. Put a stop to it now - you will be doing her a favour in the long run.

[lottie.dot]

I completely agree 100%!


Yep me too. Their is just no consequences these days for bad behaviour... So why not do it?? If they can get away with it than they will. No one learns and it's a shame as like the above poster says, I personally have no intention of breaking the law, being rude, or anything like that but I learnt not to. If no one learns this and nothing is done if they do behave a certain way then their is nothing in place to stop this behaviour.

I would defo ban her - but then if she is a bit whip happy and so on, I would feel I would want to 'teach' that out of her (I am thinking of the poor future horses!!!) lol

[Crazyhorse]

I agree that this is a nasty situation. It seems odd that the girl continues to ride when she obviously has expressed reservations about the manner in which she is being taught. If it's any consolation EML, I have always wished I lived closer to your school so I could take lessons with you! The only thing I would say is that perhaps, when talking about putting information in the public domain, a forum is not the best place to discuss this issue?

[Alexa&Tess]

If it was me I think I would want to have a meeting with her and her parents, I'd point out the facebook page and the pictures. I dont think there is alot you can say about the comments because everybody is entitled to their opinion of their instructor.

I think I would want her to apologise in front of her parents and I would ban her for 6 weeks. At the end of the 6 weeks, if she has learnt her lesson and wants to come back then fair enough. I would like to see her helping on the yard on Saturday mornings or sometime though so that she can see more about horses and the effort they take. I'd want to let her know that if she carries on with that behaviour that she would be banned permenantly. The difficult bit would be to rise above it and treat her like an adult and teach her fairly again.

Maybe she would come back with a new entheusiasm (sp?), you never know.

[LauraGeeGee]

I can understand how you feels hurt but kids will be kids and her behaviour is not uncommon these days. I think you should rise above it aaand make light of the whole thing.

I think this kid is very short in confidence and her daft comments on the net are a symptom of this. As grown ups we should recognise this and deal with it accordingly. Publicly humiliating the child will hurt her well out of proportion to what she did and do nothing to help her and I think you will regret it afterwards. Over and above that how will other parents see your actions?

I guess she is 13 or 14 years old. I suggest a quiet word with the parents and let them deal with it. They are obviously happy with the lessons or they would not be paying out for them.

Let the parents deal with it and don't let the child know you have seen the silly commtnts.

You see, to me, this is why we have the problems we do in society these days! The "Kids will be kids" attitude. Age is no excuse for behavour like this!

Look to the media for some of the things that "kids" of 13 and 14 (and younger) are capable of!! Ok a minority but when I see how some of them behave around here, they're hardly chasing butterflies and hopping scotch. They are old enough to know right from wrong. They just choose to play up and create havoc as they think they are "untouchable" by law.

To be honest, what are the parents like?? All very well if they're amiable but what if they're not and they take the side of the girl? Why should EML take the softly softly acpproach and talk to the parents first?

[babyzoe]

I think you are totally right to say what you have and that is so nasty and she is perfetic to even say stuff like that..
Honestly hun you shouldnt let that silly girl think she has got the better over you, she is the one who has nothing better to do but sit on the internet and slag people off she is perfetic!!!!! I have been riding a friends horses and i do put piccy of her horses up she gives me permission,I think she needs to grow up she will soon realise what the horsey world is like and then realise she has lost everything!xx

[Skint]

Interesting and helpful thoughts from everyone.Yes it does seem less serious in the cool light of morning.

This is a girl who I have struggled with for a few years for general bad behaviour, shouting at horses, using stick inappropriately, being downright sulky and rude and refusing to try to follow directions etc.

I don't run a big commercial school but all clients are personally taught by me and do 'choose' who I teach rather than taking anyone who will pay.

Methinks I will ponder on it for a few hours before talking to the parents.

This sounds wise eml, though I can totally understand why you were upset you don't want to rush in all guns blazing and maybe worsen the situation for yourself.

[madlady]

I would speak to the girl in front of at least one of her parents and would probably ask her to leave - not just because of the facebook incidents but because of the other 'issues'.

As others have said this is a child however at some point children have to start growing up and learning life lessons - something that far too many are short of these days as they spend far too much of their lives wrapped in cotton wool thinking that they are untouchable.

[clarabella_78]

No I don't, but I've worked with enough and have been on the recieving end of similar crap from them.
Do you think your daughter should have been in front of the courts for what she did.

Now who's losing perspective? eml has not suggested she is going to drag the girl through the courts. I would be reacting exactly as eml has, the girl is bad-mouthing her business and needs to learn a valuable lesson from this.

[Bellatrix]

Too many people turn a blind eye to kids behaviour - being a teenager doesn't excuse you from hurting peoples feelings and being downright nasty and I think EML has every right to ask her to explain herself. However, I would be careful about how you bring it up as she sounds like she could be the sort of brat who is very two-faced at the best of times - she may apologise to you and turn on the water works, promise to never do it again etc... but slag you off to others by saying you were snooping on her through facebook etc... She will probably twist it around so she doesn't look bad.

Maybe try another way by saying you were sorry to hear she was finding the lessons so boring but not to worry as you've planned plenty of jumping for today now that she feels ready to be pushed further...see how she worms her way out of it when you whack the jumps up to the heights she claims she is able to do! :) Perhaps then explain that you didn't push the jumping as you were trying to build her confidence first!

[Denbenj]

wtf are you even on about. What has me having mhy own children got to do with anything anyway. I was merely pointing out that taking a child to court over something lke this is a little extreme and perhaps as much a sign of the ridiculousness of the modern mindset as this whole facebook thing anyway

well, I read it differently first of

Less of the WTF :cool:

No court, but I have had police involment over an episode with squabbling teens via text. It certainly put the wind up them both and made them understand. I am not saying either that this scenerio with EML needs that! Its just sometimes pussyfooting around and trying to over analize dosent work. Straight to the point, and reality before things get out of hand is needed.

[*GroovyGallop*]

You could just whack all the jumps up the height she requires and give her a lesson on a nappy horse and watch her face turn from pink to white to grey! :D

Haha
sounds good to me!

[babyzoe]

Yeah i think this is beingb taken a little seriously honestly the girl just needs to be taught that she cant bad mouth people and be a little big headed she obviously cant make friends!

[cobloopy]

I wouldnt hesitate in confronting the girl and her parents, i really think she should be held accountable. If she hates eml so much and the lesson etc then why is she still going and this is basically what i would be saying to her and the parents.
I would certainly say that the relationship has been damaged and that you will no longer be able to teach her. If she wants to keep riding then she will have to find somewhere else and learn from her mistakes as we all have to.

[eml]

Thankyou for all your imput.

As a couple of people have said a public forum is not the place to discuss this issue. However in my defense can I point out that I have not named the person and there would only be two or three people, not members here, who would recognise the details and would be aware of the situation.

Exercising one of the few priveleges mods have and closing my own thread!!