*GroovyGallop*
30th Sep 2009, 09:19 AM
How to 'really r'ead horse ads
BIG TROT
Can't canter within a 2 mile stretch
NICELY STARTED
Lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet
TOP SHOW HORSE
Won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a hurricane
HOME BRED
Knows nothing despite being home-grown
BOLD
Runaway
GOOD MOVER
Runaway
ATHLETIC
Runaway
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER
Runaway
NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER
DEAD Runaway
DEAD QUIET
Just dead
SPIRITED
Psychotic
RECENTLY VETTED
Someone else found something badly wrong with this horse
ANY VET CHECK WELCOME
Please pay for us to find out what the !@#$ is wrong with him!
BIG BONED
Good this has mane and tail or would be mistaken for cow
DOING COURSES
When tranquilised to the eyeballs and lunged six hours straight before
WELL MANNERED
Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED
Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week
STARTED O/F
Started overfeeding because can't ride
SHOULD MATURE 16 HANDS
Currently 13hh, dam is 14.2hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15hh, but this horse will defy his DNA and grow
TO GOOD HOME ONLY
Not really for sale unless you can
Pay twice what he is worth
Allow current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night, and
Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
NO VICES
Especially when he wears his muzzle
LIGHT CRIBBER
We can't afford to build any more stable and fences for this chainsaw
NO TIME FOR HIM
He's lucky to be fed
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION
Never been out of his stable
GOOD TO CLIP, SHOE, BOX
Clippety clippety is the sound his hooves make when he drags you across the yard as you try to box him
FOR SALE DUE TO LACK OF TIME
Rider cannot afford to spend any more time in hospital
WELL BRED
Mother and father are also brother and sister
BLACK
Brown and/or dirty
SUIT EVENTING
No brakes
SUIT DRESSAGE
No accelerator
SUIT ANYONE
Except us, we hate him
ALWAYS IN RIBBONS
The shows we went to gave complementary rossettes for all who entered
ALWAYS PLACED
The shows we went to were so small that there were no more than 3 in each class
GOOD AT SJ
All the classes we entered were minimus (jumps under 1 foot)
BIG TROT
Can't canter within a 2 mile stretch
NICELY STARTED
Lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet
TOP SHOW HORSE
Won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a hurricane
HOME BRED
Knows nothing despite being home-grown
BOLD
Runaway
GOOD MOVER
Runaway
ATHLETIC
Runaway
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER
Runaway
NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER
DEAD Runaway
DEAD QUIET
Just dead
SPIRITED
Psychotic
RECENTLY VETTED
Someone else found something badly wrong with this horse
ANY VET CHECK WELCOME
Please pay for us to find out what the !@#$ is wrong with him!
BIG BONED
Good this has mane and tail or would be mistaken for cow
DOING COURSES
When tranquilised to the eyeballs and lunged six hours straight before
WELL MANNERED
Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED
Hasn't stepped on, bitten or kicked anyone for a week
STARTED O/F
Started overfeeding because can't ride
SHOULD MATURE 16 HANDS
Currently 13hh, dam is 14.2hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15hh, but this horse will defy his DNA and grow
TO GOOD HOME ONLY
Not really for sale unless you can
Pay twice what he is worth
Allow current owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night, and
Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
NO VICES
Especially when he wears his muzzle
LIGHT CRIBBER
We can't afford to build any more stable and fences for this chainsaw
NO TIME FOR HIM
He's lucky to be fed
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION
Never been out of his stable
GOOD TO CLIP, SHOE, BOX
Clippety clippety is the sound his hooves make when he drags you across the yard as you try to box him
FOR SALE DUE TO LACK OF TIME
Rider cannot afford to spend any more time in hospital
WELL BRED
Mother and father are also brother and sister
BLACK
Brown and/or dirty
SUIT EVENTING
No brakes
SUIT DRESSAGE
No accelerator
SUIT ANYONE
Except us, we hate him
ALWAYS IN RIBBONS
The shows we went to gave complementary rossettes for all who entered
ALWAYS PLACED
The shows we went to were so small that there were no more than 3 in each class
GOOD AT SJ
All the classes we entered were minimus (jumps under 1 foot)