Indanger of losing my nerve.

[Janette]

When I ride Star, I'm perpetually waiting for her to rush, pull, argue etc., because she does! As a result, I'm tense. This winds the horse up, so she gets tense, and we're all tense together:(
Help, please, because i'mgetting upset now before I even get on, and this is no way to carry on.

[Retty]

Hi Janette,

I know just how that feels! A while back I had a big off and after that I would be literally swallowing my own vomit as I was even tacking up I was that scared! I have come a long way since then (although sometimes I still get scared but not anywhere like I used to), here's some things that helped me, I hope they help you;

Always ride as often as you can, even if it's for two minutes.

Realise what you feel comfortable with and also that things will improve with time so don't rush yourself.

When you are riding and the nerves kick in I found the following helped;

singing! (still do this on occasions!)

talking to your horse

looking ahead and not down

relaxing youself from your ankles up

smiling (even if comes out as grimace!)

I gave fear a name and a body, he was called Gert the hampster, when "Gert" started to tell me things like "Oh she's gonna spook there, she's gonna run, she's gonna buck you off, you won't be able to stop etc" I used to mentally put Gert on the side of the arena/road whatever and if he still kept chattering to me I would stick duct tape over his mouth so I couldn't hear him, the image this portrayed used to make me laugh out loud (ok you may be thinking at this point that I'm completely crackers but it sure helped me!)

As you are tacking up invisage how you want the ride to go and believe it, imagine yourself in control and doing what you want, beleive it enough and it will happen (I have found this also really works!)

Always finish your ride on a good note, if this means doing less than what you normally would then so be it as next time you ride you can always do that little bit more

Ask friends for help such as riding with you or standing with you in arena or walking along side you on foot

Spend as much time as you can with your horse on the ground

Don't be afraid of going back to basics

Enjoy yourself, at the end of the day horses are for pleasure

Good luck with it all and Ihope some of the above helps you.

Retty x

[LokiSofi]

oh dear I know how horrible it is too lose your nerve when I was little I had the worst pony in the world to ride (we still own her Angel bless her) I'd never ridden before and she bolted bucked, reared and spooked at everything. In fact she scared me so much I stopped riding (until 3 years ago when I worked with problem horses and youngsters and I had to stay calm when riding to keep them calm, I now laugh when I get thrown off or if a horse bucks and bolts wit me) Ted has also helped me a lot as he is so naughty I have to stay calm or he takes advantage.
Don't give up you'll conquer your fear in the end. Perhaps you should invest in those new CD's for nervous riders. I've not seen them but they look like they may be a good buy.
Good luck;)

[Miss MoneyPenny]

Hi Janette,

I am another who can say that 'I have been there, and I still am at times!'

Retty speaks from experience, she really helped me regain my confidence to get back to riding Penny without wanting to be sick!

Last year I slid/fell off Penny and broke my arm, I was unable to get back on for 3 months and so my nerves grew inside me. All that Retty has said is what I did to overcome my nerves and fear, it has taken over a year but I am alot better and can hack out with my friend for hours and I have even started some jumping with Penny.

I still have bad days - like today - I went to the stables, but I have had THE 1st and biggest argument with the other half and I was not in the mood. To top it off, Jo, decided that she wanted to come out for a hack, the girl who I was with when I fell (who caused my accident last year), I have not yet been brave enough to go back out with her yet - she is very young and highly strung so not the best person to ride with. I took the decision that I would not ride today, but first thing tomorrow - on my own (for only the 2nd time in a year).

The only additional advice I can give is set yourself small targets for each time you go riding and try to achieve them. If you are too nervous, take a break, come back an hour/day etc later.

Let me know how you get on, PM me anytime, it's always good to know that there are others out there like us!:D

[Janette]

Can I borrow your hamster and the sticky tape? Thanks Retty, that image made me smile. I can do this and I will do this, but, I nearly cried today at the thought of it.

[Retty]

Thanks Penny that's really nice of you to say, I'm glad that you are doing so well and jumping and hacking out alone, thats brilliant!

Janette, it does want to make you cry, I used to cry often, especially when I used to see others confidently going out for rides and I was a wreck at the thought of just having a walk on my own in the arena, it used to make me feel so stupid and like giving up, I would think to myself "will I ever be able to do that?", the answer of course is yes you can and will it just takes time. Also, I was surprised and shocked when I spoke to other people who looked so confident and in control who said that they felt scared at times aswell, this made me feel heaps better and gave me hope and inspiration to do it. My 9 year old daughter amazes me... she really is brave, she will ride ponies that the other kids are frightened of, today she was riding a pony that bucks and rears - she just laughs! I think that as you get older or have had a bad fall it makes you more hesitant. I have now realised that just because a horse may spook or jump it doesn't mean that I will end up in A & E! Also, 9 times out of 10 a horse will be looking to you for guidance and support and if you are tense then they also think "Jeez there really is a monster... quick RUN!" I still get scared and still ask for help and support from friends but I never thought I would be able to tack up and ride out on my own AND enjoy the ride! It will come and you will get over this but it does take time.

Have a cry, wipe away your tears, ask for some help from a trusted friend, tack up and ride even if for just a 2 minute walk.

Let us know how you get on.

[Kezzabelle]

I know how you feel Jannette, i was constantly waiting for Cleo to do something! One thing that helped me was remembering to breath!! Taking deep breaths and controling your breathing while riding will help you relax. Good luck.

Kez :)

[Aly]

I too suffer from dreadful nerves. After my first horse was way to much of a horse for me, I almost gave up for good. However I had this obsession with horses and was not going to be easily beat.

The first thing I did, was I free leased a horse that was dog quiet. This horse would not blink at traffic, he would not move off until you had mounted, he would not jump a jump unless you were positive you wanted him too, he never shied, or bolted, or bucked. All the things that had made me petrified of my own horse.

I then took this horse to a riding club (Pony Club), and used the support and competition of the other riders to help keep me motivated and build my confidence. Of course this horse was just too quiet and i quickly outgrew him as my confidence increased a little.

I then went on and free leased another horse that was a little more spritely than the previous horse. To cut a long story short I kept doing this until my experience and confidence grew to a point that I could ride my first horse without tossing my cookies each time. Of course the mind keeps working and I never fully gained my nerve with my first horse, but it made a huge difference to have access to some quieter horses.

Finally the other thing that I did, was a went out and found myself a coach that I trusted, that knew I was petrified and that would push me without throwing my confidence in the bin. For over 10 years now, when I can (as I am not living in Australia very often), I still go to my coach to continue to build on my confidence and skill.

Having access to suitable confidence building horses, and coaches who can help you work on your confidence and build your skills as a competent horse rider/trainer, will make a huge difference in how good you feel when you ride your horse.

On a final note, even after all this I still wont ride a horse that I deem unsuitable by sight. I still get nervous riding unfamiliar or uneducated horses. But geez I have come along way from those days where I was sick before I even mounted.

I wish you all the very best with your horse!
Aly...

[TNT]

Oh Jannette I know how you feel! I came off at the local arena this Spring. My first time being bucked off and it was dreadful getting my confidence back. Luckily my trainer was very supportive and put me on an english saddle and lunged me alot. Lots of balance lessons like with no hands and eyes closed. All this was on a school horse. She worked with my horse and then put me back on my horse. Then one day it was time to return to the scene of the accident. I did Yoga calming exercises for a good hour before we headed there. I was all smiles on the outside but felt like I was going to vomit on the inside. She put us in the round pen at the arena and made me ride with no hands for a good hour and then turned us out. I was sooooo glad to get it all behind me and be able to relax and enjoy it again.I couldn't agree more with even just 2 minutes on your horse and ending on a good note. Just even tell yourself I 'm going mount and practice getting my seat and if that's all I do well then fine! Maybe I'll just ride around 1 lap or 2 or just to the end of the driveway and back . Take all the babysteps you need and soon before you know it each time you'll be on longer and longer . Just make sure you get on. Yes! singing does help even if it's really bad:D

[Janette]

Well. I sang - every silly song I could think of, and I seem to more than I thought. But we did it. Right up the lane and back, past the stables (did a bit of panicking because I thought we were going to have a battle) and down the lane and back. Only a walk, maybe a mile or so, but it was nice - very nice. I've managed to bag a private lesson slot, so at 6pm on tuesdays - send some positive thoughts my way. I will canter, and I really do want to do a dressage test this winter. If only to prove to myself that I can.

[Miss MoneyPenny]

Great to hear that you set yourself a target and achieved it - Brilliant!

The private lessons will help as well, that is what I did after my fall. I found that I was more confident in a school as my main fear was that I could not control Penny and she would run off with me - that is why I found hacking so frightening as I thought she would never stop. (My accident was caused by another horse bolting and Penny wanting to go with them through fear - she is still a baby and follows the pack!)

I worked on canter too and found that once you get there you will feel more in control, I learnt as well techniques to hep me control Penny should she ever bolt. Now that I am back riding her on my own, I feel that I was stupid to think that Penny would bolt, as now she is so laid back and lazy I KNOW that she would never go far!

I'll certainly be thinking of you, 6pm Tuesday's, we'll gather up all the positive energy possible!

Keep us posted of your progress!:D

[Miss MoneyPenny]

There is a section in November's 'Your Horse' dedicated to confidence - I haven't read it yet, just flicked through it this morning as it arrived in the post.:D

[Retty]

Sounds like you are taking some very positive steps in regaining your confidence! I am taking my new and rather fiesty horse out tommorrow for quite a long ride, my loaner will be riding with me on my other horse Promise (she is nice and calm), it will be a BIG step for me but one that I am both aprehensive and looking forward to so if anyone happens to see a mad looking woman, singing, smiling (will look more like a grimace I expect) and telling "Gert" to shut up then you know who it is! :D

[Janette]

I've been reading 'Ride with your Mind', by Mary Wanless. She's into imagery, and stuff like that. she suggested putting fear by the side of the road, give it a name, and talk to it. Tell it that you appreciate its trying to keep you safe, and you promise that you'll look after yourself, you'll came back and get when you've had the ride, Has she been talking to Gert do you think?

[Gemma16]

Hi Janette, I've been following this thread from when it started, I haven't posted yet because I didn't feel I really had anything to input. I still don't I just want to say you can do it. I'm sure you will manage that dressage test this winter.

All the advice thats been given sounds amazing and all the people that manage to get over such fear you are truely amazing, MUCH stronger rides than I will ever be.

Just a congratulations to all you fear conquering riders. I've never experianced fear like that (i don't think i want to) so I can't really understand the feeling.

Once again Janette you can do it take it slow and stick at it.

:) If you wanna chat you know where I am.:D

[Waikato Valuta]

Aly where in australia did you live. Eg where is this wonderful coach. :D

I lots my confidence after being bucked off early this year and could only get on and walk for a few minites befor feeling like i was about to burst with tension and i would get off. I kept pushing my self a little every day. It helped a little but i still felt scared.

I got a trainer to come out and work with him and me. And after watching her ridding him realy well i had a go. Now i can jump 3 foot on him no probs and hack out ext. This amazing change fore me happened within about 3 days.

I was however feeling tottaly lost and like giving up untill one day something just went pop. I realize that he only bucked me off because he had a sore back, He hasent bucked for over 3 months, his back is fine, the trainer rides him with no problems.

Every time i go to ride i just repeat this to myself untill i realy belive it and once i'm on him i can feel if anything is wrong.

Good luck with getting your confidence back. :D

[Peace]

After a year of very little in the way of work, Quanah's got a case of "I don't wanna and you can't make me" syndrome.:) He's absolutely right, too - at my level, I can't make him.:o But I can pay someone who can, and in the meantime I can have lessons on someone who's already worked out his adolescent angst.

I know Aly's already suggested this, but are you able to have lessons on a quiet horse and hire a private tutor;) for Star? Just until the two of you can come to an understanding?

Of course I'll be thinking good thoughts for you on Tuesdays at six. Lucky girl, to be able to ride at night in the winter.:)

[Slewgal]

Originally posted by Peace
[B]After a year of very little in the way of work, Quanah's got a case of "I don't wanna and you can't make me" syndrome.:) He's absolutely right, too - at my level, I can't make him.:o But I can pay someone who can, and in the meantime I can have lessons on someone who's already worked out his adolescent angst.



The horse I'm riding right now is the same way.

He's thrown me twice. He get's very jumpy when we're indoors, and now that it's getting into winter we will be from now on.

I'm fine on the lunge, but get a little leering when doing exercises with my hands behind by back. I get very leery when I have him on my own. He dosen't like the doors of the arena and spooks when we go by them.
I"m working on paying attention to his ears to see if he's listening to me, if he's not it's more likely he'll jump. Last week was the third week I had him inside and the first time he didn't dump me.
It can be very nerve racking.

[Janette]

Last Spring, we went through a 'bucking' thing with Star. Lessons were 'interesting'. I sat all of these bucks except one, where she caught me at just the wrong moment. We wnet to a show, and she bucked all the way around the ring in a class of 13 horses, and that was just awful! (These weren't HUGE bucks, but definately bucks! every 4 strides or so in canter!) Next show, no bucks at all, until 90% of the way through our individual show, then came an absolute whopper - I stayed on. Next show, we were warming up, and a stray dog ran across our path while we were cantering, and another huge buck came out of nowhere, and I FLEW - straight up, the ground was like concrete! I did get back on, but couldn't ride in the class, because I had done 'something' to one of the joints in my pelvis - lots of dark purple bruising. Withdrew from the next show. I told myself that I wasn't scared, I just chose not to ride, and concentrate on in-hand classes instead til we got the bucking sorted - fooled myself good and proper didn't I! So this Summer, I've had no bucking, becuse I've not done much riding - simple isn't it. And here I am. Trying to unstick myself.

'Peace' - I think we think along the same lines. Star is now based at my local stables, where she gets riden every day by the working pupils, and the experienced riders, so she is a lot more settled and calmer. Now its my turn again.

I know that this has been a long and boring read, but I needed to let people know WHY I was Scared - its bucking that does it. Today is Monday, Lots of positive, 'no bucking' vibes for tomorrow, please. (Remember - 6pm ;) )

[Sooty]

Janette - how did it go on Tuesday?

[tubby]

Jeanette do you know why she bucks , cos if you find out & can take away the cause problem solved.

[Janette]

The lesson went great - no cantering, just concentrating on not jogging, and maintaining a rhythm. However, she was ridden again lateron that evening by somebody else - and she bucked. She ignored the request to canter, and just trotted faster, then when asked agin, and flicked with a schooling whip, bucked!!!!! ITs definately an attitude thing.

[tasha]

Are you sure about that? Kally bucked in canter and I thought it was attitude. Turns out her pelvis was misaligned and her saddle pinched her withers.

[Janette]

It seems to be a response to a stick being used behind the saddle - ANY sort of stick! Sometimes even carrying one can cause the bucks to start. When She was much younger and still with her original owners/breeders (gypsies), she was regularly loaded into a trailer by having her ear twisted, and then being beaten with a stick:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
SO she sticks up for herself now. Especially when somebody is trying to make her do something she doesn't want to - like load, or canter.
We have the loading sorted - pressure and release works like a dream, expecially when its self inflicted and self released. But the canter thing needs working on.
It is not a consistent buck, she can canter perfectly well, when its on her terms.
But it means that I feel like I am sat, waiting for a bomb to explode. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

[Peace]

Sounds very familiar.:) Bucking when asked to canter was one of the first signs Quanah gave of his new attitude problem.

He seems (fingers crossed) to be getting over it now, so I guess it's one of those "this too shall pass" things. Although I still haven't been given the go ahead to ride him again - sitting on a powderkeg is not my best thing. :o But Leslie - Quanah's new coach - and another lady at the barn rode him this past week and got canter, and even gallop, without a fuss.

I'm guessing you have to carry a crop to get her into canter?

[tubby]

Bucking in response to the stick sounds familiar to me Jeannette , when Ben was young he would always argue & buck when the whip flicked him, actually he's been known to do spectacular handstands & kick out to one side from walk. Am happy to say he rarely bucks now, so it seems it all goes away in the end .:):):)

[Janette]

When Star is fresh, then the last thing in the world that you need is a stick!!! However, when the fizz is subsiding, then we get the 'Well I just don't fancy cantering anymore'. That is when she needs a tap to remind her of her manners - nad then comes the buck. That is how she bucked me off earlier this year, and why I seem a bit reluctant now.
BUT! I will do this - I want to do some dressage in the New year, and then there is the showing next Summer........... Too much fun to be had. However, I am nearly 41, have a fulltime job, a family and other responsibilities. This is in my head when I think about it all - too much thinking on my part perhaps.