When he's just *too* old.

[entreat]

I'm beginning to question Mandrakes quality of life - but because he belongs to my boyfriend's family, naturally I can't do much about it. The poor old fellow is 30++, and doesn't have much left in the way of teeth (only his front chompers are left, no molars), and spends most of his time laying down being hen-pecked by the other three. He taught Cam and his 2 brothers how to ride.

My question is - how should I go about getting Cam (and family) to consider this. How do you tell someone it's just their pony's time to go?

-Jenn

[Mehitabel]

it's a tough thing to have to do. how about bringing it up in conversation 'how are you going to manage mandrake over the winter? have you thought about how he'll be fed and keep weight on?' and see where it goes - if he hasn't thoguht about it then perhaps something like 'maybe it would be kinder to let him go now before it gets cold and he is suffering'. not a nice decision at all - i don't envy you or your boyfriend.

[entreat]

I did say something on the weekend about his quality of life - that it can't be that great, just laying in the paddock all day. But he just kind of ignored it. I assume that means he's thinking about it.

I don't think Mandrake's in any pain, yet, but he is very old, and skinny, which makes a change - when I met him a 1.5yrs ago, he was WAY too fat! Lucky it's coming on to summer, so he's not gonna get cold. I guess there's no rush, but I'd rather they prepared themselves, and were able to say goodbye, instead of the farm manager telling them over the phone.

Oh!! Busted - Cam just looked over my shoulder!! I think there's abit of denial going on. It's hard to let go of someone you've known your whole life.

[Esther.D]

You have mentioned the issue...now I would give them time to think about it. If you push the point then they will resist automatically and if you talk them into it they may regret it later and end up blaming you (even subconsciously) later. It is a very hard decision and they need to make it themselves. I understand your concern for the horse's welfare but now I think they just need time to think the idea over. If he is not in pain and you are coming into summer then I don't see there is a huge rush..it may even resolve itself naturally and that is a lot less painful for the people involved than having to make that final decision.

You say he is henpecked by the others - this obviously is not the best for him - is there any way this can be avoided?

[entreat]

Thanks Esther - I will just leave it now. I've planted the seed, and it'll grow when it has to.

I hope he can go naturally on his own.

Thanks for you advice, Es & Esther.

-Jenn