Nervous Mature Riders

[Kady A]

Need some NR assistance here. I work at a large EC where we seem to be finding more of our mature pupils are getting nervous with their riding - myself included. If your riding school/yard whatever offered say a day's training specifically aimed at tackling your fears would you find it helpful? As it seems to be a growing problem I am endeavouring to organise something to help us all out. Any ideas welcomed!

Thanks in anticipation.

[galadriel]

I recall that a while ago, someone associated with NR was involved in planning? running? A clinic on just that topic. I seem to recall that it was very popular.

I think that as long as your nervous riders admit their nervousness (denial never helps ;)), then such a course would be very helpful.

[Ipsa]

I think that would be a great idea and you could include all sorts of things like sports psychology and then maybe regular get togethers afterwards to keep progressing.

[Miss MoneyPenny]

I know that after my fall last year, I was, and still am a nervous rider - if there had been a course or training with the nervousness being the focus I would have jumped at it.

I think as well, if you had people in the same situations, that the learning and support that you would receive would be invaluable - just like the support and advice that NR members give!

Bring the course to the Isle of Man - I'd be there!!!!:D

[Kady A]

Thanks for your replies! I too had a cracker of a fall just over 2 years ago - a thoughtless motorcyclist thought it would be fun to wheely at the side of me. I ended up with a fractured skull, dislocated shoulder and four broken fingers where I hung on to my horse's reins to prevent a further catastrophe! Funnily enough that isn't the actual incident that finished me off - I was riding again within three weeks of my fall and rode a failed police horse in a private lesson - very grudgingly as the horse had tried to bite me when I went to get him. He did everything in his power to get me off, napping, bucking, and finally the "wall of death" ever decreasing circles at canter. I confess to complete bottle failure and my instructor yelled at me and said that I couldn't expect to ride the same horse every week etc etc etc. I left in absolute floods of tears and didn't go near a horse again for over 6 months. I now work at an EC and own my own horse but am still very anxious and very reluctant to have a canter whilst out on a hack. It seems that only after confessing my personal fears to fellow riders does it enable them to open up about theirs. Its more common than I thought and I am pretty sure that we can all start to help one another. The problem now is to find the right person to come and point us in the right direction! Miss Moneypenny, if we find that person we will send them to the Isle of Man!

[JaniceH]

I'm also a nervous rider, previous health issues have generally made me more of a 'nervy' person anyway, but I have booked my self onto Heather Moffet's nervous rider seminar in January. Have a look at her website www.enlightenedequitation.com for details of the course content if that helps. I think that I would jump (not literally - too scared! lol) at the chance to work through why I am nervous, and also I like the idea of keeping in touch (perhaps via website?) with the others and the tutor on the course to follow up.

[Kady A]

Hi Janice, I would be really interested to hear how you get on and will check out Heather's website. Best of luck!

[nat17]

I would be very interested Kady A, I am only in Sheffield too so i can come to anythng you organise;)

[Kady A]

Hiya Nat - I work at Moorhouse EC and will keep you posted to what we can organise. I have spoken to Fizz Coaching who are featured regularly in Your Horse, they have offered to do a workshop or clinic/demo. I have heard good reports about them and will keep an open mind about anything that might help myself and other riders with similar problems! I'm open to suggestions and offers from others in these fields.

[Canaan's Mom]

Hello All -

I agree - something for us "nervous Nellys" would be a very good confidence booster.

Also, for someone like me (who does not want to do the school-lesson bit) I think addressing specific problems that I/and my horse have with nervousness would be a good investment of time and money. I am just thinking that most of our posters [thus far] are in Europe (I'm in the US, near Washington, DC). I guess that leaves me out :(

[Kady A]

Sorry Canaan's Mom - you never know I may be on to something with Nervous Nelly Training! Today Doncaster tomorrow the world!

[Laetitia]

I spend/waste a lot of my time being nervous. Nag sneezes- I get off! Then there are the 'what if's ' . I have come to the conclusion over the years, and I'm talking Years, that, for me, miles on the clock eventually allows me to be confident. It is very much a mind set and I welcome any means that may rectify this, however, whatever is learnt/gained from said sessions must be praticed over and over until the person concerned is so familiar its 'old hat'. Do we not de-sensitise our horses by repetitive training? so, we neeed to apply this to ourselves? L

[virtuallyhorses]

I think that's a great move by you\your EC. Just being able to openly talk and laugh about fears is a great thing and sometimes not encouraged in the student\teacher relationship. Having a sit down away from the pressure of a set-time lesson to discuss amongst fellow learners will probably be helpful in itself since often riders don't realise just how widespread and NORMAL it is to feel anxious, to worry about injury etc - you see another riding along as if they haven't a care but they too are frightened.

Great initiative!

[Kady A]

Thanks everyone for such positive reponses. Its amazing since I confessed some of my "nervous nellyness" the floodgates have opened and its like a mass confession time at breaks and lesson times - staff and pupils alike. All being well we will be running a demo evening towards the end of February and then try to arrange a full day training aimed at adult riders. I for one feel a whole lot better now that one of our instructors has fessed up about her fears!

[Janette]

Whereabouts in South Yorks are you. I would definately come to a course. I'm trying to screw my courage up to canter, after a cracking fall in June. I havn't cantered since!

Erm - just checked back - MOORHOUSES. :D

Where will you advertise it?

[Kady A]

Hi Janette - Moorhouse EC in between Wakefield and Doncaster. Will probably try and advertise through New Rider and also local press. Due to bookings of the arena this is likely to be February time.

Sorry to hear about your fall also - I have a fear of cantering at the moment, hopefully soon to be cured!

[Tinkerbell]

What a wonderful idea - I wish something similar had been directed at kids because I was more nervous as a child than an adult when riding.

Please keep us posted - if I'm at home, I'd love to come along.

[Kady A]

Thanks Tinkerbell! We are going to try and fix the grown ups first and then maybe move on to the kids.

[Janette]

Hey, guess what! I've been cantering!!!!
I had a different instructor this week, and I mentioned that I hadn't cantered for months because of the fall, and half way through the lesson, she sprung it on me.
'At the next corner, you are going to do 2 strides of sitting trot and..........I did, and there I was.
I Even steered:D - 3 times!!!!!!

[Kady A]

Thats brilliant Janette - well done! There'll be no stopping you now!

[Big Ears]

I never used to be a nervous rider - in fact years ago I would ride anything - but I had an accident on the road - horse frightened, reared up, came off, horse loose etc - and though I got another horse she became nervous in traffic due to motorbikes, bicycles and dogs - all bad experiences when hacking out.

I became more nervous but this year have been having lessons on a new horse who is companion to the nervous one - Rosie is lazier, laid back, a completely different sort, and I find that I am very brave on her - she instills confidence as even though she isn't for a novice as you have to work hard to keep her working correctly, and she would take the mick if you were a beginner, she isn't nasty and doesn't put in a buck or a spook / stop.

So I think it often comes down to the horse and your confidence and trust in them. Most riders who are 30+ are more nervous than teenagers as they are more aware of the impliations of the accidents that could happen - how to keep on working, look after kids, pay the mortgage, muck out the stables - so they tend to be more risk averse. I don't take unnecessary risks = I won't hack out in dreadful weather with pooor visibility like today just in case a car doesn't see me! Accidents do happen but I think it is important for instructors to get the line right between what their clients are comfortable with - my instructor doens't believe in macho behaviour, she says avoid the fight, and doesn't see it as bottling out - I think often it is the instructor's attitude that is the problem and if you don't feel comfortable with someone/something then find someone else.

My instructor basically gave me the skills and confidence to convince Rosie to do the right thinng and be a nice horse to rider, rather than a nappy pain who wouldn't leave the yard - she now hacks out nicelly and we enjoy ourselves and I have confidence that if we go out we will come back without a major fight - I can see another instructor might have taken Rosie on rather than use discretion and the result might have been a complete downing of tools, rather than presenting her with good and bad choices and letting her learn that it is easier to be nice and more fun.

[galadriel]

Originally posted by Janette
Hey, guess what! I've been cantering!!!!

Yeeha! Congratulations :)

[Tumbleweed]

I love to teach nervous people, just watching their faces when they conquer one of their fears is wonderful. To a large extent the instructor plays a big part, they have to give you the confidence without bullying.

I find the best way for people to overcome their fears is to make riding fun, with lots of different things to do. Drill riding is good, especially if it is to music and the riders are doing what they are nervous about without realising it.

When someone is frightented to canter, I don't ask them to, but do put up trotting poles and do various exercies over these as well as a small jump. Soon the rider canters and because they weren't expecting it and are relaxed, they enjoy it. This is just one method.

Jannette, I live in Wakefield, which riding school do you go to?

[Janette]

Middlestown Riding School - that's where my beautiful Star lives.

[Kady A]

Its a small world folks - I'm in Barnsley and work at Moorhouse, which is where I keep Stella.

[Miriam]

Hi Kady I too am a nervous rider but found that since riding western horses (thanks to Katie) I have found a bit of confidence. I think that had the school I learned to ride offered me something to help my fear of cantering I would have probably tackled the fear years ago and would be much happier. I gave up the school lessons and started to look for something just to hack out and enjoy (where I need not canter) as I felt I was stuck in a rut and going nowhere with the school.

[Esther.D]

Yep I can join the ranks of nervous riders too, used to be a daredevil and then I grew up I realised that I am breakable:rolleyes: :D

Determined to get over it though!

[Tumbleweed]

Middlestown Riding School - that's where my beautiful Star lives.


Small world Jannette, I used to work there until my husband had a stroke.

I know Star well, and give Tumbleweed a really big hug from is mummy, and tell him I miss him. He will be 31 on 1st February and I have had him since he was 7 months old. Having to look after hubby leaves no time for him now, and he is happy being a school horse. He has always loved children round him.:D

[Janette]

Something a bit radical here folks.

we ought to get together, somewhere, somehow?????????

That we could all be nervous together:D

[Kady A]

Morning Janette.

I think you could be right a nervous nelly meeting is definitely called for.

I haven't helped myself on the nerves front by buying a totally sane and sensible horse, Stella is quirky, cantankerous, stubborn, she'll take off whilst out hacking because she can't stand anyone getting in front of her etc, pupils have cried in the past at the prospect of riding her, but she and I seem to have bonded.

I think I said earlier in the thread we are hoping to get Fizz Coaching to Moorhouse probably at the beginning of March to do a demo evening and then will organise a training day and take it from there. I think a group of likeminded folk like us would be able to talk openly about our fears and then start dealing with them.

God totally too philsophical for a Saturday morning, especially after having just done the "big shop" in Asda - phew! Off to Throstle Nest Saddlery shortly to buy Stel some pressies and maybe even get to ride this afternoon.

[Janette]

We need a fairly central location for the west/south yorks branch meeting of the NNA (Nervous Nellies Assoc.) :D

Somewhere north Barnsley/ South Wakefield, or near the M1 somewhere. What about a pub near Throstlenest?

[Tumbleweed]

Somewhere north Barnsley/ South Wakefield, or near the M1 somewhere. What about a pub near Throstlenest?


Is there one? ;)

There is the Black Bull at Midgely, not far from Junction 38 on the M1, or the Red Kite (I think it is called), by Junction 39, or the Old Post Office at Junction 38 but I have never had a decent meal there and stopped going.

Depends when you have this because I am hoping my husband is out of hospital for Christmas but that depends on if I can get carers in mornings. The shortage of carers is a disgrace in Wakefield, but not surprising because the Government had to come in to sort Social Services out.:mad:

[Kady A]

I'm game for anywhere the inaugural meeting of the NNA!

Tumbleweed, you ought to have a chat to my boss, Sue, her partner had a severe stroke shortly after they got together, he thankfully has made a very good recovery. Its appalling that you can't get carers - my hubby was an accountant with the NHS in Wakefield - he quit due to the wasting of funds that should have been spent on patient care.

[Janette]

oohhhhh - pubs! and the NNA - what a combination.

right! The Red Kite - gorgeous food, nice pub, right at the bottom of my village. OR The Britsh Oak? Other side of the j39 roundabout - equally good food (their Brie and Bacon Baguette is to die for). Know what you mean about the Old Post Office though - Patchy.

Its best to book at the British Oak, but booking is not needed at the Red Kite. (Guess which are my locals???:rolleyes: )

Then we can talk about Fizz Coaching over a glass of something fizzy? Any takers?

[Tumbleweed]

You can't be that far from me Janette, and yes I am up for it and if you don't mind I will bring a friend who is also very nervous.

I will be away 28th December to 1st January, I will be partying for 4 nights and staying in a caravan.

[Kady A]

Pick a date ladies and I'll be there, possibly also with a suitably horsey friend. Partying in a caravan sounds interesting! I am well up for a glass of fizz and a chat about fizz coaching!

[Janette]

Between Xmas and New Year then?

[Kady A]

Difficult for me - family do on 27th, I'll be 40 on the 29th and will be in a major sulk!, panto in Barnsley on 30th, early in the New Year would be good.

[Miriam]

Originally posted by Janette
Something a bit radical here folks.

we ought to get together, somewhere, somehow?????????

That we could all be nervous together:D

:D :D :D I can see it now. A string of nervous riders going on a hack together

[Tumbleweed]

I can see it now. A string of nervous riders going on a hack together

Are you Jealous Miriam? :D

Depends who I am riding, when on Tumbleweed I am not nervous hacking, but an other horse I am, but when training I had to learn how to cover my nervousness up.

[Kady A]

Same for me Tumbleweed. Nervous on my own horse - she has never been hacked out a great deal due to her love of leaping from front legs to hind legs in excitement, and also that no one can EVER get in front of her! I aim to cure my fear:p

[Miriam]

Originally posted by Tumbleweed
I can see it now. A string of nervous riders going on a hack together

Are you Jealous Miriam? :D



Jealous only of the fact that I am in the North East of England and don't drive so could not be one of you. But this nervous rider will be thinking of you.

By the way my husband has friends in Barnsley. They have a model shop. Called Model Slipway in Stairfoot (sp)

[Kady A]

Hi Miriam - I don't know the shop but the next time I drive through Stairfoot I shall pay attention!

:D (chief nervous nelly)

[Miriam]

They are sell model boats so you may not have. But do keep a look out.

[Tumbleweed]

Miriam,

I was 54 when I learnt to drive, and if I can anyone can. I was told by a riding instructor who also used to ride, that when you ride horses on the road you can already read traffic and only need to learn how to control the car.

I learnt in an automatic because I was waiting for a hip replacement so all I had to do was learn how to steer the car.
:D

[Miriam]

So there is hope for me yet. Unfortuately we are now carless as it decided to break on us http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/smash.gif

[Janette]

Miriam
whereabouts are you?
I come from Stockton on Tees, and up to september this year, did all of our showing around Cleveland, North yorks, and south Durham.


What about meeting after the New Year if the Xmas holidays are going to be difficult for some. I was 40 last year, and will be 41 on January 4th, I think that one feels worse than 40, becuase there's only 9 years to 50!!!!!!!!!

[Tumbleweed]

When we were carless, I broke Tumbleweed to harness and he took me to the supermarket. I gave him a haynet of hay while I went shopping, then he had a mars bar when I came out. The supermarket loved it, he brought in more customers.;)

[Kerry's Partner]

I feel like I'm butting in, so I apologise.

I confess I read the original post (again, and very late in the day - again) and have NOT read right through. (Oldies with poorly horses get a bit tired you kinow.)

Anyway, a day to get over your fears?????????? NO, it has taken me months if not years and I still have fears!!!!!!

If the goal was to provide a bit of (safe) fun for those of us who do/did have fears - then I'd feel that that was something which could be achieved. BUT, to go for a goal in which fears would disappear at the end of one day......................I'd say that that was a bit too ambitious a goal really. You see, some people get scared but are totally unaware of what they are scared of, and I'm sure I don't need to begin to explain the more complex plight of some of our equines. I suppose if you were to provide a top team of human psychologists, plus a top team of (riding) experts and also a top team of equine behaviour experts plus lots more thrown in then there'd be some hope.

I'd go for a bit of time out - a day free from all pressure, actually - for me and my horse. And I can recall who taught me about this too - so pleased I learned this because it makes all the difference. Perhaps that should be the goal for the day!!

Oh dear. Take my post lightly please.

I wish you all a Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

[intouch]

For anyone serious about overcoming nervousness, have a look at www.tapintoheaven.com, it is a brilliant method of controlling much more than nervousness on horseback. I've used the method successfully with a few people and would be interested to hear if anyone else does, It would be great to include it in a NN session, specially if it might be a "one day wonder"!

[Kerry's Partner]

The name itself sounds brilliant - but I don't really want to go there.

Having said that, I'm going there!!

[Kerry's Partner]

I'm obviously not welcome - the "page cannot be displayed" and we must obey the IT world!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll try again tomorrow.

[Kady A]

I think us Nervous Nelly's don't want a one day wonder - we are looking at the bigger picture (well I am!), however all suggestions gratefully received.

Tumbleweed I would have loved to have seen you at the supermarket - its not somewhere Stella could venture, not without maiming people!

Well fellow Nervous Nellys its that time of year again, I wish you all the best for a lovely peaceful Christmas and hopefully we can arrange to meet up very soon.

Kathy
xxx:D

[Miriam]

Originally posted by Janette
Miriam
whereabouts are you?
I come from Stockton on Tees, and up to september this year, did all of our showing around Cleveland, North yorks, and south Durham.



I am from Pelton near Chester le Street.


Tumbleweed I can just see Rhi going to the supermarket. When I come out she would not be there. I took he just before Xmas to pick up my daughter from dancing and whilst waiting had to get a lovely gentleman to give me a hand to keep her standing as she was despertely trying to go home :p :(

[Tumbleweed]

We need a certain amount of nervousness to stop us doing stupid things, a rider without fear is a danger to themselves, the horse and anyone near by.

Sometimes though, our nervousness takes control and that is what we don't want, that stops us from enjoying what we really want to do. It is this nervousness that we need to control, but we should't try and stop it.

There is a lot of fun things to do to help control this nervousness, and it is much easier to control if we do it with fun.

I will be away from Sunday 28th December, until the 1st January, we are off in a caravan partying for 4 nights. 40 caravans parked in a vallage hall car park.

[Kady A]

Tumbleweed - you have hit the issue of nervousness right spot on the head. We have to keep a healthy amount of "fear" with our horses otherwise we will end up in a heap somewhere - the both of us.

Have a great New Year break - it sounds interesting!

[Tumbleweed]

We will be at Whitley Bridge Village Hall, just off junction 34 of the M62. not far to travel but we usually freeze up. Not too bad unless the water pipes freeze, then we have to carry the water.:mad:

[Kady A]

Heck Tumbleweed, you must be pretty hardy! I'm sure you will have a great time and hopefully the pipes won't freeze up too much!

[rezbeck]

thats great to hear janette, i too am slightly nervous of canter after only being back in the saddle a few months

[Tumbleweed]

Originally posted by Kady A
Heck Tumbleweed, you must be pretty hardy! I'm sure you will have a great time and hopefully the pipes won't freeze up too much!

Me hardy, no, caravans are warm and cosy inside but it did go down to minus 9 one night and everything froze up. We had to get hot water to get washed by boiling the kettle.

Now that I am back, what about this night out.:D

[Miriam]

Tumbleweed I spent my first few married days in a caravan (honeymoon of course) and it cold. That was in Ocotber.

[Kady A]

Happy New Year to my fellow nervous nellys - I was thinking about Tumbleweed on New Years Eve whilst watching all the snow fall!

Yes how about that night out - I for one am ready to tackle my nervous nellyness.

[Tumbleweed]

I am back we had a really good time and hubby didn't get out of bet until 5pm on 2 days, but as he didn't go to bed until after 1am, he didn't have much choice.

It went down to minus 9 one night, and I was so hot I had to take the extra blanket off. I leave the fire on all night, and I dread to think how much gas I used, but it was worth it.

No about this eveningj out, when and what time?

[Kady A]

Sounds like you had fun Tumbleweed - as for your hubby staying in bed until 5pm, my hubby is sooooo envious!

I'm free most evenings for the first nervous nelly get together - Fridays will be difficult as our Friday night shows start again at Moorhouse this week.

[Tumbleweed]

Were has everyone disappeared to, I thought we were going to have a night out together.:rolleyes:

[Janette]

Sorry - term started again, and started to think about school. Too much like hard work though.
Definately still on for anight out though.

Nervous Nellies Forever!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kady A]

Hello Nervous Nellys - had a rotten week at work, everyone having "domestics", my little car got stolen and torched - the usual!

Definitely up for Nervous Nelly Forever Meeting. Made some progress on Fizz Coaching. Had a long chat with them yesterday and hopefully they will be coming to Moorhouse on a Friday evening in April to do a demo. Lovely people, a bit "new agey" but I am more than willing to chant with a crystal and persuade my ned to do yoga if it helps me lose my nerves!

[rezbeck]

hi i feel i should join u all cos i think i class myself in the same category. i used to ride as a child and i have owned my pony jack for 3 months. he was at a yard and my confidence was coming back and i got to the stage where i would be ok to take jack to the indoor school and ride there on my own confidently, and enjoy it but since we have moved jack to a field i feel less confident, i think its cos i have no confines of the school and i am in a wide open space, any suggestions gratefully received, thanks.

[Retty]

Hi there,

Do you ever feel that you spend the WHOLE time trying to regain confidence? I have previously cantered, galloped (once by mistake!), small jumps, hacked out confidently on my own... now however, I have completely lost it... again :( This IS a new horse and she is prone to jump about and spook, I thought I was ok until last week when we have had a succession of 'things' happen - i.e, spooking on road at dog and then cantering into on coming traffic, pogo-ing up a hill until I fell off (this now happened twice), spooking and bucking in arena, then other times she is lovely! I guess is winter and she's in alot etc etc, but I am now at the point where I am really annoyed with myself as I get soo scared and feel like I want a leader even in walk! Any ideas on some positive thoughts to think before riding?

[Jules Barbour]

Positive thoughts? How about "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens" - alternatively there is the "subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence" school of thought!!!!

I am joining in the whole NN thing as I have a pathological fear of cantering round corners - plus I'm not very good after a fairly spectacular throw-off as a kid, it has literally taken me 30 years to get back on a horse!

Last week I got myself organised, set my (absolutely adorable but a tad flighty) riding school horse into the corner for strike off, applied the leg aids and off he went - BEAUTIFULLY! My instructor was fulsome in her praise, and the next time - NOWT! So I guess fear - or at least apprehension - may actually be the key to good riding?

No chance of a NN meeting anywhere in Scotland?

[Kady A]

Jules - I think NN will meet wherever needed!

I too hating cantering round corners!

[Janette]

I hate changing direction in canter. The thought of cantering a circle.............

[Kady A]

What are we like? My cornering problem is only really getting bad because Stella likes to lean into the corners - I could practically touch the floor. I think in a previous life she must have been a quarter horse - barrel racing and sliding halts - the sliding halts because she twigged that I was taking her towards the large roller shutter doors in our indoor school at work!

[Tumbleweed]

Tumbleweed has done the best leaning in on a circle, we were in a Dressage competion at the same place that he practiced for the Prince Philip Cup, and my knee touched the ground.

He was very good coming down the centre line both at the beginning and the end, and stood very square, but what happened in between, the judge never stopped laughing and had problems marking him.

My 15.2hh Dressage horse became a 12.2hh gymkanha pony.:rolleyes:

[Jules Barbour]

You know, I am so glad I'm not the only one! I was really beginning to feel quite spectacularly useless!

(My 9 year old daughter rides in the same class as me and I can feel her rolling her eyes with disgust whenever our instructor says the magic words "Right Jules, your turn..." Kids eh!):o

[Tumbleweed]

Instead of concentrating on what your horse is doing, concentrate on what you are doing. Keep checking your position and plan you aids.

If you want you horse to canter between F and A, at, E check your position, think of your aids, again at C, and at B, check your position. At F, sitting trot, and bring your outside leg back, and put your legs on.

If you are in the right position, your inside leg will already be next to the girth and in the right place, and so will the rest of your body.

If you keep your position, it is very difficult for the horse not to go into canter if you use your legs strong enough, unless you are riding Tumbleweed.:rolleyes:

When I was training, I was told to slow the trot down by slowing the rising, and tried it out on Tumbleweed one day. Unfortunately he wasn't in the lesson when I was told this and he didn't know he was supposed to slow down, so he started to put 2 strides in to every rise.:(

[Miriam]

Everytime I take a few weeks off riding I find I'm battling my nerves again. As for cantering corners i can do that if you count hitting the floor (mind you thats only because one of the riders took a wrong turn and pulled up sharp) :D


Going out in the cart on Sunday after weeks off the road and I'm looking forward to it (not that I could have said that if it was on her back). So the weather had better be good cause my little riders mum is apparently packing a picnic.

[LittleD]

It makes me feel better to know I'm not on my own in the nervous rider bracket!
I see these people around the yard casually sitting on their horses, chatting, having a laugh and a joke and just can't imagine myself ever looking that relaxed on my horse.

I am getting better, at one point my horse would only reach down to scratch her nose on her leg and I would want to get off and lead her back to the relative safety of the stable.

One thing has really helped - my instructor!

She makes my laugh - and it's hard to laugh, really laugh and be nervous at the same time!
I suppose if you think about it, this makes sense.
When I get on my horse I feel nervous, tense, stiff in my body and my whole concentration is fixed on the horse and maintaining the correct position (I must look like a cardboard cut out), as I have a good laugh (usually at my expense) I feel myself relax, body softens, sort of drop more into my saddle and my mind wanders from being totally focussed on whether the horse sneezing is an indication that she's going to launch into a raging bucking session, in turn I feel my horse soften, relax and look generally less tense about the head and stands quite calm while I scratch her neck (something I couldn't do before because it meant not having total GRIP on the reins) she actually seems to mirrors what I am feeling - so in future I am going to attempt to mount, relax and stay relaxed, deep breathing exercises at the ready!

[Stella2]

I used to 'have to' sit bolt upright and as you say if the horse bent to scratch its leg, it felt like a huge drama. I've gradually got much better over time, but still I'm facinated when I see someone on a horse turn around to talk to someone behind them - you know the kind of thing - one hand on their horse's bum, the other holding a loose rein, legs akimbo. One day I'll do that too :)

[Esther.D]

Well wish me luck, I am in the nervous nelly category at the moment, I used to be a real daredevil rider as a kid but suddenly woke up and realised my mortality:rolleyes: This has not been helped by coming off twice in a couple of months last year (complete fluke, hadn't fallen off in 10 yrs before that!).

However I am a member of a cavalry display team and am going for a three day training session in February in skill at arms (using a sabre to cut cabbages from horse back, tent pegging with a lance etc...all at canter/gallop). I used to do this all the time at home when I was younger, so wish me luck and hope the shock tactics work and I regain some of that confidence as I have a full season of displays to train for:eek:

So fingers crossed, this is a make or break experience! :D

[Stella2]

I do wish you luck Esther, but it seems a bit mad to me! - in a good way :)

[Jules Barbour]

Cavalry display??????? Ohmigod! That's what I call brave! Good luck with that, I'd love to see it.

I too am of the "cardboard cut out" school of riding although I really do find that once I have loosened off a little I really am capable of turning round, hand on horse's rump, to see what my daughter is doing (whilst standing still, natch, I'm far too NN to do it on the move!) If only I could actually relax in canter I'm sure not only my corner fears but also the bruises from the bumps on my butt, cos once again I've gone all panic-stiff and sitting trot becomes hanging-on-for-grim-death, would vanish!

I was watching the fearless teenager who very kindly allows me to use her horse for riding lessons put him through his paces the other day - dear God but it's depressing to watch how well behaved he can be when someone confident and competent is on his back!

[Stella2]

I don't think turning around with hand on horses bum counts unless the horse is moving :) I've decided its time I did it, I'll let you know how it goes.

[Tumbleweed]

It is amazing how singing helps relax a rider or saying nursery rhymes, especially when you have to shout them out for the rest of the class.:D

[Miriam]

Originally posted by liz taylor
It makes me feel better to know I'm not on my own in the nervous rider bracket!
I see these people around the yard casually sitting on their horses, chatting, having a laugh and a joke and just can't imagine myself ever looking that relaxed on my horse.

I am getting better, at one point my horse would only reach down to scratch her nose on her leg and I would want to get off and lead her back to the relative safety of the stable.



When I get on my horse I feel nervous, tense, stiff in my body and my whole concentration is fixed on the horse and maintaining the correct position (I must look like a cardboard cut out), as I have a good laugh (usually at my expense) I feel myself relax, body softens, sort of drop more into my saddle and my mind wanders from being totally focussed on whether the horse sneezing is an indication that she's going to launch into a raging bucking session, in turn I feel my horse soften, relax and look generally less tense about the head and stands quite calm while I scratch her neck (something I couldn't do before because it meant not having total GRIP on the reins)

Wow this certainly sounds like me in the past. I could not just stand around and talk whilst sitting on my on horse and be relaxed either without waiting for it to do something.

I too am much better now. I have reached the stage on turning round with my hand on my horses bum and talking :D Not reached that canter yet but hopfully will get to grips when we get out arena in the summer. Yes we have been promised he will do it :D

Good luck Esther

[Kady A]

I couldn't spear cabbages etc with Stella - she would want to stop and eat them! I am most impressed with the cavalry skills, very daring!

I am going to try the nursery rhyme technique recommended by Tumbleweed, Stel likes me singing to her ... well I think she does ... she stops chomping and grinding on her bit and the propellor tail stops. If all else fails perhaps we ought to take up yoga.

[Retty]

Hi there, your post explains exactly how I feel right now, it also made me laugh how you said about horse goes to scratch and you think the worst - so do I!!

[LittleD]

Kady A

Bah Bah Black Sheep in Trot

Half a pound of tuppeny rice in (dare I say) canter!

Also talking to him/her as you go along using their name often, it brings attention back to you or so I am told and keeps their mind off outside influences like the scary sparrow that just landed on the hedge outside the school

[Jules Barbour]

Kady, yoga sounds like a great idea ... so long as it's not on horseback!

[Tumbleweed]

The Grand Ol' Duke of York is good for slowing down or increasing the pace of walk:D

[Kady A]

I think perhaps before I go to ride Stel this morning I shall try a bit of yoga at home - ahem in my own little way that is - definitely going to try the Grand Old Duke of York, its my son's fave. Might look a little strange doing that at work today, we have a BSJA Coursebuilders/Judges conference, but if all else fails they can just tell them I am the lunchtime entertainment!

[Kady A]

Well Tumbleweed - Stella LOVES the grand old duke of york, we got into a really nice canter with me singing that to her. Most of the staff think I am barking, but hey I don't care when it works for me!

[Tumbleweed]

Well done,

People have thought me crazy for years,;) but admired Tumbleweed's paces.

Try speeding it up and slowing it down, and see what happens, I found that he would keep time with the song.

I also found that when the walk was good, so was the trot and canter, and often worked on a good walk to keep it.

[Kady A]

Tumbleweed - if you are crazy then I am in very good company! I'm sure I will find a few more singing nursery rhymes over the next few days

[Stella2]

Is anyone else crazy enough that when singing 'ba ba black sheep' they find themselves singing 'one for the little horse who lives down the lane'!? Did I really say that out loud ... :eek:

[Kady A]

Don't worry, we all sing variations of "My Little Pony" out loud on the yard, depending on how good all the little ponies and not so llittle ones have been!

[Sooty]

I have booked myself onto Heather Moffet's nervous rider seminar in January

JaniceH - how did you get on?

[Jules Barbour]

OK, tried the nursery rhymes ... I swear Gyp was rolling his eyes in pain (I forgot to sing INSIDE MY OWN HEAD and I am totally tone deaf!)

His disgust was almost palpable - you could see what was going through his head ... "Oh no I've got this nutter again, dear God why me, I promise to be good for ever more, just get this psycho off me!"

What made it worse was catching my fellow learners out of the corner of my eye - keeping a straight face was killing them!

On an embarrassment factor of 1-10, that has to rank maybe about 23!

:o :o :o

I am going to try it again tho, just keep it in my head this time ...

[Tumbleweed]

I have a better idea, get your instructor to get them singing them;)

[rezbeck]

thankyou for the advice on nursery rhymes whilst riding, will try it next time i get on jack. which i hope is tomorrow, weather permitting

[Kady A]

Bit giddy fellow nervous nellys, could be because I fell off Stella last night ... and bounced believe it or not. Just spoken to Richard Maxwell (a very nice man) he is coming to Moorhouse on 30 April to do us a demo. I would LOVE to meet some fellow New Riders - might even buy you a cup of tea and a slice of cake in our very exciting cafe!

[Esther.D]

Thanks for the good wishes - the training is next week, three days of intensive work with a riding centre that trains stunt riders and actors...I am following in famous footsteps - including Mel Gibson and a host of other big names! I'll either remember my lost confidence or be back here at the end of the week a nervous wreck!:D

[Stella2]

I'll send good vibes Esther :)

[Janette]

Kady A - tell me more about Richard Maxwell. I'd love to go. My hero.

ps hope you were ok after the fall

[Kady A]

Hi Janette - sorry for late reply, been working today and not long been in. Max will be with us from 7pm Friday 30th April - tickets are £20. Hopefully Max will work with 3/4 horses - one we are confident he will use is a 6 month old filly we have, hardly handled and recently separated. We are advertising for horses and ponies for his demo, preferably handling type problems. I have to let him have info on a few horses and he will choose them from the description and won't see them before the event. I'm really chuffed we have got him. I saw him at the Equine Event a couple of years ago and was really impressed. An all round good bloke in my opinion!

I'm also trying to negotiate a discount in our saddlery for NR people who attend on the night, that and an invitation to meet my Stella! So if you fancy a nosey round Moorhouse, get there early and I will give you the grand tour!

Hope to see you there!

[Jules Barbour]

Sounds like a great idea ... where is Moorhouses?

[Jules Barbour]

Ooops - I mean Moorhouse! God, hope I don't have no navigate there, I'd end up in Cornwall!

PS How are you after the fall?

Had fun in class today, we were doing figure 8s and Gyp fell over his own feet ... which meant I nearly fell over his neck! NN training kicked in though and I righted myself whilst singing ba ba black sheep ...

[Janette]

Will do that. Do I ring Moorhouse Arena for the tickets?

[Kady A]

Morning folks - should be on my way to work, but thought I would check my mail first, that and try and find my cat which has done a very stupid thing. I have a ceramic hob - cat jumped on hob, which I had just taken the boiling kettle off. She's fine thankfully.

Stel and I are fine after our fall - I didn't think 40 year olds bounced but I did! I was frantically singing the Grand Old Duke of York maybe that helped? Us NN's are getting just too good.

Moorhouse is near Doncaster, just off the A1 - maybe a bit far to travel Jules?

Janette - our number is 01977 642109 - the tickets are being printed at the moment and should be ready by the end of the week. You never know it may even be me that answers the phone, depends how busy we are on the yard. Full of kids today as its half term - eurgh ... I may be a mum but I go to work to get away from them! That and the pony club are in all day - double eurgh!

[Stella2]

Oh Kady - be careful about putting your number etc on the net - not everyone can be trusted!

[Yann]

Stella 2, don't worry, unless I'm very much mistaken the phone number above belongs to Moorhourse EC, not Kady A's house:)

Sounds like this event should be quite a little NR meetup too, looking forward to meeting a few new faces there.

[Bebe]

I'm up for the RM night, providing we don't have to buy tickets before payday of this month! I'd love to meet Stella too.

[Janette]

I shall ring tomorrow!!!! Hopefully it willbe you!

However, back the title of this monster thread.
Star has been poorly, quite poorly actually, with an abcess in her throat. I think that daft sod ate a twig!!!
Anyway, I have been having my lessons on sombody else, and have been cantering quite happily, even, dare I say it, confidently. BUT - back on Star, now she's back in work, I'm tense, she pulls, my hands shoot up, and we just get faster. So my instructor has decided that we will do quite abit of work in canter from now on! Deep Joy!:(

[Tumbleweed]

Star has probably been talking to Tumbleweed, at least he didn't fall into the stream and have to have his head held up in case he drowned, while they cut a tree down to get him out. Luckily Bill say him fall in.

Has anything happened for you to loose confidence in Star? If so, change to another until you build your confidence back, the go back to him.

[Kady A]

I did put Moorhouse's number on the net - I may be blonde but usually not that daft! If we get crank calls I put the machine on. Tickets are going well but I will make sure there are plenty left over for the Nervous Nelly NR gang. Perhaps I ought to reserve the best seats for you all?!?;) It will be nice for us all to meet up and meet some new people. I will ensure Stella is on best behaviour - a Curly Wurly usually does the trick - I know I probably shouldn't share my CW with her but she does the big sloppy kiss soppy eye thing which is difficult to resist.

I hope Tumbleweed and Janette will give Star a big hug from me - poor thing, what an awful thing to happen.

[Tumbleweed]

Unfortunately I can't leave my hubby that long, he shouldn't be left at all but I can't get help to stay with him so that I can go out. I am hoping to take him away for the weekend which will give me a break.

[Kady A]

Tumbleweed - I hope this isn't too personal a question, but how mobile is your hubby? My reason for asking is that there's someone at Moorhouse you both might like to meet - our boss's partner suffered a severe stroke several years ago (he's 42 ish - he fibs about his age!) he has made a fabulous recovery - rides, drives rally cars etc. A lovely bloke - I suppose sometimes its good to talk to someone who has been where you are? Just a thought anyway. If you can't make it we will just have to all have a NN meeting nearer to you and we can bore you to death with how marvellous Max is!

[Tumbleweed]

I NOW how marvelous Max is, and I really would love to see him.

Hubby had a brain stem stroke and shouldn't be alive now but we were on holiday and he was taken to a hospital that was using an experimental drug. They didn't wait for me to get there to give it to him because he wouldn't have lived if they had. Then they said he would be a vegetable, but he can walk a little with help, and his speach takes some understanding.

His biggest problem is the doctors, they keep making mistakes, his stroke was a doctor's mistake, he let his blood get too thick. He was put on a beta blocka just before Christmas but I wasn't told that with the water tablets he has his blood pressure would drop too low and make him light headed and dizzy, which is the reason he has been falling so often. He is black and blue at the moment.

I don't mind telling anyone about him, it isn't his fault but it is both him and me that is having to pay the price. If I sound bitter, I am now, we struggled to pay into a pension and now we can't get anything unless we pay so in fact, we are paying twice for things that others never pay at all.

Sorry, I will behave myself in future. :D

[Stella2]

So sorry to hear of your experiences Tumbleweed :(

[Kady A]

{{{{big hugs}}}} You've every right to feel bitter. There are just far too many screw ups with doctors - I've had my own. Having my only (and much loved) son nearly finished me off in more ways than one. Wrecked my health, career and nearly my marriage ... but one breakdown later I am doing something I love and meeting some lovely people and feeling better about life.

Sounds to me Tumbleweed that you are pretty special couple and I think speaking for the other NN's on this thread we are here to listen when needed.

So I shall send some more {{{big hugs}}} and my son, Gabriel, sends some too - he should be in bed right now but he wants to cuddle his mummy while she surfs!

[Janette]

Are you both wearing your 'baggies' and singing beach Boy songs?

[Tumbleweed]

Thanks Kady A,

Make the most of your son, they grow up far too quickly now, and give him a hug from me.

[Kady A]

Any time Tumbleweed - you are so right about the kids. Looking at him now half asleep its somewhat overwhelming!

[Kady A]

Not quite Janette - jammies and listening to Dido!

[Jules Barbour]

Hi Tumbleweed - I am so sorry to hear about your problems at home. My dad had a stroke and although is was fairly mild and he remained mobile, his personality changed a fair bit afterwards so I can't imagine how hard it must be for you guys.

I also had a bit of a down on the medical profession - my dad's GP wrongly diagnosed him as having - I quote - "possibly a mild case of gastric flu" when he was in fact having a massive, fatal duodenal haemorrhage! I did spend a rather bitter few months glowering at every medical type I came across but let's face it, life's too short to hold a grudge.

God bless riding for inner peace!

[Kady A]

You are so right, the minute I start inhaling horse - as in Stella not oher more dubious levels I feel my stress levels dropping.

Bloody medical profession - mind you whenever I go to see my gp, which is very regularly unfortunately, he always asks how Stella is!

[Jules Barbour]

Peronally I would sooner smell that lovely horsey smell than the poshest perfume known to womankind, but I am wierd!

At least your GP can't be all bad - mine is a strapping ex rugby player who thinks that anything less than having yer leg torn out at the hip and reversed along your back is a waste of his time!

(PS Is this when I should confess my son wants to be a doctor?)

[Kady A]

Can't beat the smell of slightly wiffy horse and leather. That and the smell of fresh straw, hay and haylage.

I have a confession to make - Gabe won't be 6 until August and he wants to be a doctor.

PS. My GP is a real horse lover, hasn't ridden in years and is currently on a diet and keep fit campaign to get back in the saddle - promised him a ride on Stel when he hits his target!

[octavia 100]

yeah I get nervous going into canter, other riders in the school, and I get flustered when I lose momentum in rising trot and then I get more nervous etc etc. Would love to do something positive about this live on the Wirral

[Tumbleweed]

Welcome to the board Octavia,

When I was having this problem, someone told me that when I went into sitting trot, to take my knees slightly away from the saddle. I found that this helped me sit better, and I was then able to give the aids.

If you check your position before you go into sitting trot, all you have to do to ask for canter is to bring you outside leg back and use your legs. If you are going into a corner or on a circle, your outside leg will already be back and you just use your legs.

Too many instructors blind us with science by saying that your hands have to be in such a position and your legs in this position. If you check your postion you hands and legs will already be there.

I much prefer to make things simple if I can.

[Kady A]

I like Tumbleweed's way of teaching - much more to my taste!

Had a life changing moment with Stella yesterday - I started Parelli with her a nearly 2 weeks ago - with very little time until yesterday. Bless her she was walking, trotting and cantering with me - minus halter and even popping little fences. Mirroring whatever I did. A few of the cynics were watching and were totally stunned ... not as stunned as I was - mind you I must have looked comical cantering about. This is the horse that everyone reckons had so many issues I would never achieve anything with her. I think now all she wanted was a one to one relationship with a human who thinks she is the bees knees (ie. me!). We even had a potter about the car park investigating trailers and wagons - she is terrified of wagons due to having been hit by one quite a few years ago - she was great, she needed reassurance but other than that no problems. I have to say I found it all very emotional and a few tears were shed. Stella totally deserved the Curly Wurly that I had hidden in the boot of my car, she was even feeling brave enough to stick her nose in the boot and found it herself. I wonder if they know how much their humans love them ... I hope so!

PS. My husband (non horsey) thinks I am a complete blithering idiot warbling on about how clever she is and how much I love her - I'll show him!

Hope the NN's are all well this evening.

[Tumbleweed]

Congratulations Kady, these really good moments make up for all the bad ones.

[Kady A]

I'll say they do - I'm so proud of Stella and I'm glad I trusted my instincts when I bought her. I've probably said before that I bought her for mainly the wrong reasons, but on reflection stopping a lovely old girl from being run into the ground by a younger rider can't really be the wrong reason.

Having said all this, she will probably drag me through the mud in the paddock tomorrow but hey, some people would pay a fortunte for the mud treatment I am likely to get!

[octavia 100]

many thanks tumbleweed I will try that this week on my lesson. From reading on this forum and others {although this seems ideal for me} I think I need to do more work on the lunge but kind of wary in case Im using this as an excuse not to do it totally on my own. What do others think?

[Jules Barbour]

I'm with you - my instructor INSISTS than when striking off into canter I hold onto either the horse's neck strap or a chunk of mane - I know she's trying to help me balance but I find it more off putting to start grabbing for an additional handhold than it is to keep my hands steady holding the reins!

I TOO WILL GET THE HANG OF THIS!

Had a lovely lesson yesterday on a new (to me) horse - he was just a wee scone! Although he's somewhat rounder than I am used to and the inside of my thighs feel as though I was on a rack today!

[Jules Barbour]

Kady - I have heard of Parelli but I have to confess total ignorance - what is it?

[Tumbleweed]

Originally posted by Jules Barbour
I'm with you - my instructor INSISTS than when striking off into canter I hold onto either the horse's neck strap or a chunk of mane - I know she's trying to help me balance but I find it more off putting to start grabbing for an additional handhold than it is to keep my hands steady holding the reins!



This will take your weight forward which is not what you want, but the pomel of the saddle would be better to hold onto with ONE set of fingers.

Try checking your postion, instead of pulling your shoulders back, push your tummy forward, then ask for canter. You can just loop a finger or two on the pomel until you are more confident.

[octavia 100]

my instructor also tells me to grab some mane I know she thinks that it will stop me pulling on the reins but it is one more thing to grab and yet another thing to remember to do and I feel its a hindrance to doing it properly

[Janette]

What's a 'wee scone'?

I bake those, and they taste pretty fattening, I can tell you. Nice, warm from the oven with some melted butter. mmmmmmmmm.

[Jules Barbour]

A "wee scone" is a Fife term for someone who is just so good and cute you could eat them.

Not a term I'm ever going to apply to my mutts - almost £800 between them since Xmas on emergency operations!

Thanks Tumbleweed, I'll try that.

[octavia 100]

hey tumbleweed I was sorry to read about your problems at home apart from being a complete novice on a horse Im not much better on a computer and have only started surfing the net so to speak anyways my husband is a GP he is totally into bikes(push),and in his own way is a bit of a nerd but very supportive of my riding.Todays lesson was good I managed to get a good forward walk sitting trot was good but my first canter transition the ground under Sweeps outside shoulder came remarkably near but I stayed on. Sweep is a school horse and he kind of pulls the reins out of your hands a bit but I like him. Going for a lunge lesson next week.

[octavia 100]

had a good lesson today although still not great in the canter but my walk and sitting trot were good. Going for the lunge next week.

[Jules Barbour]

Hey Octavia - how are your lessons going?

I was all fired up last week and I don't know what happened but I SUCH a hash of things - my 9-year-old daughter was rolling her eyes and frantically looking round to see if there was a kind-looking woman who might adopt her anywhere in the vicinity - I guess "riding for the mature and terrified" is a two steps forward, one back scenario!

[octavia 100]

Yes I do feel very much like that as well just now I'm going through the very nervous stage which isn't really helping at all. My daughter who is 18 and rides keeps telling me I've got to learn to kick. I think my leg is moving in the right general direction of being in the right position as my chaps are getting more worn on the inside bit rather than on the back. But being a Scot means I'm determined to do this and not give up! Good luck to all us older riders!

[Jules Barbour]

Howay the Scots!

I have another lesson tomorrow and I am DETERMINED I will nail canter properly first time - always assuming Gyp is in a good mood! May be my last for a while though through lack of time. Does anyone else feel a couple of weeks' rest is actually beneficial - the whole "coming back with a fresh attitude, past mistakes forgotten" kind of thing or I am just kidding myself?



:( :rolleyes:

[octavia 100]

Actually Jules I do think it is a good idea to have a break now and again. I think it refreshes the body and mind and puts you in a positive frame of mind. It's all about turning everything to your own advantage don't you think?

[FRED]

I think a rest is good, and just incase you haven't been advised, one of the best peices of advise for canter is 'look to the horizon',
you can still see where your going and it helps your balance lots :)

[mojo]

Hello Everyone!
Havent been on this site for ages and havnt ridden for ages either. After coming off in July last year in a car accident my confidence went from bad to worse. Took on a horse part-time and had lessons on her for a while. Then hacked her out a couple of times and she played up and got all silly on the last hack, so I wasnt brave enough to take her out again. I was also a bit concerned that she wasnt completely sound on her front right leg. Had her checked over by a specialist farrier on two occasions. Anyway she came crashing down on her kness when I was trotting her around the field one day. I ended up on her kneck and havent ridden since. That was probably late September/early November last year.
I seem to have just had bad luck with horses since I started riding three years ago. The most difficult thing has been getting over the fear of them running into me which is something else that happened, with another horse about two years ago.
Anyway have been kind of relieved to not be riding. Was losing sleep with the worry of it. However everytime I see someone riding I get this real pang and overwhelming feeling of disapointment and sadness. I live in a village and people ride past my window everyday and I think to myself "Look they are doing it and not getting hurt, why cant I".
Trouble is my fears have become irational and I'm so nervous that any horse will pick up on it. I'm my own worst enemy.
I've just watched the film 'Seabiscuit' and had to bite back the tears all the way through it.
How/what can I do to get over this? I worry about everything!
I love horses so much and wish I wasnt such a coward.
I feel so sad!!

[Tumbleweed]

Do you have a good riding school near you, that will understand what you have been through and will work towards building your confidence? You will probably be better with a half hour private lesson at first, staying in walk until you feel confident enough to trot, doesn't matter if you don't trot, you can still enjoy walk.

There is a lot you can do in walk, changing direction, circles, bends, walking over poles, shortening, lengthening, putting sticks into cones, then taking them out again and putting them into another one.

There is so many things to do in walk that you should never bee bored.

[mojo]

The riding school closest to me isnt much cop. I should know I worked there for a while. So I rule that one out. I would probably have to go out of my area a bit. Which wouldnt bother me at all. But how do you know whether a school is a good one, and whether you can trust them? Also the way I feel at the moment I cant see me ever being able to ride without someone else wet nursing me through it. So I have all these thoughts of "Is it really worth it?"

The thought of hacking terrifies me!! I just envisage every worse case scenario happening. Yet I see riders go past my window relaxed and chatting happily and all I can think is "Oh no what if a dog runs out and spooks the horse, and the horse hits a parked car and spooks further etc, etc" and then I'm off imagining all kinds. Its ridiculous!!
I think half of my problem was that I was running before I could walk in many senses. I was a novice riding horses that really werent novice rides at all and this, rather than build my confidence has shattered it.
I have thought about booking a lesson somewhere but then find myself putting it off. I know I have to make a decision one way or the other. Just finding it so difficult right now!!

[LindaAd]

mojo, do you know anyone with horses who would just let you be around them for a while? Maybe lead one around for a bit, groom it, just get used to being with horses? Maybe a riding school - not the one you worked at! would let you do that instead of a riding lesson?

[Kady A]

Mojo, just read your posts before going to work. My heart totally goes out to you - I've had similar things go wrong and am in a totally "bottle less" place right now. My horse played up in the school on Thursday and I just panicked. I was involved in an altercation with a motorcyclist nearly 3 years ago and its really affected my riding confidence. Don't give up, stick with it, try and find a good instructor who will help rebuild your confidence, or as I think has already been suggested if you have a friend with a horse who may help you out.

I know my post is probably not that helpful, but sometimes its reassuring to know that you are not alone in your fears.

Kathy

[Tumbleweed]

The best way to find out what a riding school is like is to go and watch their lessons and look round their yard, without contacting them first. If they are any good they won't mind you doing this, and you will be able to see how they are taught and what the horses and ponies are like.

It is a very good idea to work with horses to help build up your confidence, but make sure that they horses are reasonably quiet.

I have a friend who has had her own horse for about 8 years and never canters him because she is frightened. She panics if he goes into canter, but she still enjoys riding him.

You don't have to go hacking, as long as you have somewhere to ride, an arena or a field etc. Just do what you feel happy with and don't let anyone push you into doing any more.

There are exercises that you can do to help your confidence, riding to music is one of them, and singing.

Were do you live?

[octavia 100]

Hi Mojo, I know exactly what you mean last year when I was out on my pushbike I had 2 really bad falls in the one day.After that whenever we were out on the bikes I couldn't go downhill without keeping the brakes on all the time but yet I love cycling, so my other half being the sensitive soul that he is bought a tandem and I've never looked back (Istill don't go out on my own bike unless it is very safe) so what has this got to do with riding I hear you ask well after my fall I was terrified to canter again because I visualised me falling the whole time although I've started again I'm still nervous I think Tumbleweed is right if you really want to do it try the safer gaits first and it doesn't really matter if you stay withthat or not, some horses in riding schools are a bit iffy in their stalls so I don't know about the grooming and general care bit, I think a good riding school will listen to your fears and not belittle them nor will they make you do anything you are not comfortable with, so shop around and ask yourself would you deeply regret it if you never rode again ? P.S. Seabiscuit did exactly the same for me!

[Jules Barbour]

Hey Mojo - speaking as a nervous mature rider (or terrified old hag!) I can only agree with everyone's wise comments - it's awful to be stopped from doing something you love through fear.

I didn't ride after a childhood accident for nearly 30 years, I was SO terrified of taking a spectacular spill again and actually actively disliked horses for a lot of years. I was in knots when my daughter started riding lessons last year but these soon gave way to sheer envy, watching my daughter trot around quite happily, and I just thought - life's too short to be constantly terrified, in the manege what's the worst that can happen? (Fall off, kicked, bitten, trodden, I know!)

I am still pretty hopeless but I LOVE being around horses again.

A good instructor will ALWAYS take the time to listen to you - a really good instructor will offer you a fag and a stiff drink once you get off!

Can I suggest - if there are always people passing by your house on horseback, get talking to them. I guess people are more approachable than instructors and I'm sure your enthusiasm will be fired up again in no time.

Good luck.

[mojo]

Thanks everyone. I'm taking everyones advice on board and digesting it. I have decided to go and look at a couple of riding schools next week. I need to find a very sympathetic one and preferably one that will let me stick to one particular horse. In my experience most don't allow you to do this.
I'm not even going to think about the possibility of hacking out. I've always preferred riding in an arena anyway.

There is a lady I've seen in my village. I think she runs some kind of a riding club, mainly for teenagers and children. Most days she passes by with about six ponies and riders and two or three adults on foot accompanying them. I might try talking to her. She looks very approachable.

Again thanks for the advice.

I will keep you posted on what transpires with the riding school.

Cheers!!

[Tumbleweed]

Well Done Mojo, you will get there if you keep this up.

The riding school that Jannette goes to lets you have the same horse all the time, if fact they encourage it at first, then when you can ride that properly they move you up to another, but not unless you are comfortable with the move.

If you want any help, you can contact me anytime, and I will see what I can do.

[DITZ]

Oh good luck mojo. I understand completely where you are cominmg from. Confidence is such an easy thing to lose and it can take ages to get back. If it helps I think you should remember that everyone has their limit, their point where they will bottle it its just that yours is lower than where you want it to be.

Take your time and stay within your comfort zone for as long as YOU want. And the singing thing really does work. I used to be so scared of hacking that i had to sing to myself just to make ensure i kept breathing!

[octavia 100]

Good for you Mojo. I've got a lesson today and I'm going to try the singing thing fingers crossed that it works for me and that my voice doesn't scare the horse!

[mojo]

Well Octavia when I was riding, the only time my friends nappy horse didnt play up with me was when I sang to her all the way round the tracks and I've got a terrible singing voice. Good Luck!

[suesue]

Hello,

I have been reading this thread with interest. I am a nervous rider. Well you can't really call me a rider at the moment. I had a riding accident 20-odd years ago where I came off and was in hosptial with concussion. I re-discovered horses three years ago, after a visit to the New Forest and tried riding again on and off. At the last riding school I attended I was doing quite well. I usually rode the same pony, Marlin, and the instructor would take me out into the countryside and we would walk and trot along the roads and lanes. She had started to mention cantering and I said that I didn't feel quite ready yet, although I could feel the possibility on the horizon. But she decided to take my progress into her own hands, took us on the longer route, so Marlin cantered in several places because he usually did so. I didn't fall off or anything, but it spooked me because I didn't feel that I was ready yet. I missed one lesson, but went after two weeks, pressed the point - no cantering yet please - and actually had the best ride ever We rode through the village and Marlin went quietly past a bus, a man trimming his hedge with an electric hedge trimmer and a pony and trap. But after that my nerve went completely. Not my faith in Marlin, but my confidence in the instructor who I just didn't trust to let me progress at my own speed.

That was a year ago. I nowwould like to try again. I have recently had hypnotherapy for insomnia which has worked extremely well, so I am going to see her again in a few weeks about my riding fear. With luck I will try at a different riding school in my area. This one takes people out for hacks, but has the walk/trot ride and the canter ride, so if I go for the walk/trot there shouldn't be the risk of the horse cantering in the spot he usually does (assuming he doesn't get spooked by something) before I am ready.

Wish me luck. I will be reading your posts in the meantime.

[octavia 100]

Good luck for next week. I didn't get the chance to sing at my last lesson as my instructor talked to me throughout, which was just as helpful. It was a good lesson though my legs were more effective I didn't pull back on the reins when I wanted more power from him and the main reason for this was because she said at the beginning that we were going to have a nice quiet lesson enjoy it and no cantering so I just relaxed we did lots of walk to trot transitions sitting trot and going over trotting poles and it felt good. Looking forward to going next week, its definitely worthwhile having confidence in your instructor and they do need to respect your feelings as well

[Sidesaddlelady]

Several comments:

Firstly, I'm not surprised you didn't ride for 6 months after being shouted at by an instructor. We really can do with out stupid people like this in the teaching profession.

Nervousness seems to be a thing which developes with age. I've been riding for 50 years - When I was young I used to jump willingly onto all manner of equine lunatics (and fall off just as quickly) but I find myself more and more nervous as I get older. I even have minor attacks of the collywobbles, from time to time, when riding my wonder horse who, as I've said before around here, has faced down a fire engine in full cry without turning a hair.

I find that deep breathing, talking to the horse, making a conscious effort to relax my lower back muscles and humming all work well.

If you are riding your own horse you can do as you please. There is nothing in the rules that says you HAVE to canter or jump or even trot. If you want to spend all your hacks wandering along at three miles an hour communing with the birds, rabbits and trees then good luck to you. I can recommend it!:p

[Tumbleweed]

Originally posted by suesue

She had started to mention cantering and I said that I didn't feel quite ready yet, although I could feel the possibility on the horizon. But she decided to take my progress into her own hands, took us on the longer route, so Marlin cantered in several places because he usually did so. I didn't fall off or anything, but it spooked me because I didn't feel that I was ready yet.


I am not surprised it spooked you, it would have most people. Some instuctors seem to think that we have to do as we are told, but we are paying to enjoy ourselves and not worry about being pushed into something we are not ready for.

I have a friend who when I first got to know her over 10 years ago, she was so nervous she wouldn't go out of walk. We spent over a year just walking, then one day she asked to trot with me in front in case her horse took off with her. Because she felt ready to trot, she was happy.

About 8 years ago she bought her own horse, and still only ever walks and trots. I spent a summer giving her lessons but never asked her to canter. She did learn a lot of lateral work and gained a lot more control of her horse, which also helped when she hacked him out.

As she progressed, what I would have done was used trotting poles then a small cross pole at the end whe SHE was ready. Often a horse will go into canter then, and the rider had the choice to bring him back to trot or let him canter, not pressure is put on to do either.

What may help some herbal calming tablets before you ride, these are not like the drugs you get from the doctor, but may just calm you enough to relax on the horse.

Good luck, and I really hope you go back to riding with someone who will let you go at your own pace.

[Denise Smith]

Please may I join your Nervous Nellies club? I have been riding all my life, havent had any really nasty accidents, so have nothing really to blame my new-found nervousness on. No excuses - I am just plain petrified.
So.... what did I do. I bought myself a pure-bred arab. He was fine when I tried him - nice and sensible with a nice, easy, quiet canter etc. However, he had to have a few months off work as soon as I bought him home, due to illness, and now he is back in work, he has become jumpy, nervous and can now buck.
I know it is my fault - I am so nervous and tense when I ride him and this transmits through to him, he gets more jumpy, then so do I - and so it goes on until I dismount and lead him home!
Had a lesson on him Saturday and held him so damn tight when asking for canter (cos I was petrified) that all he could do was buck. "Push him on and forwards out of it, then he wont be able to buck", "sit up straight and carry your hands higher" - was the advice offered by my instructor as I floundered without my stirrups contemplating a painful death by trampling.
Is it just me, but do other Nervous Nellies have vivid imaginations about horrific falls from their horse?
My husband says to sell the horse, but I love him to bits and wouldnt consider it. There MUST be a way for me to conquer my fear - I was never like this when I was younger.
Bless my little horse - they are not big bucks, nor are they violent shies, but enough to make me a bit more nervous next time I get on him!!

[Jules Barbour]

Hey Denise, welcome to the Nellies!

I can't offer any constructive horsey advice, not being a horse owner, but can tell you one thing - talk to him. I know it might sound nuts but it seems to work.

I acquired a dog a couple of years ago (the late and very sorely lamented Chaz) who absolutely pee'd herself any time anyone came near her, curled up into a corner if my other dog so much as sniffed her, bolted every time the door was opened and ran away so many times I was on first-name terms with half of the police force. This went on for a couple of weeks - and believe me, I tried everything from Maltesers to cooked liver as training treats - until I found a disused tennis court which was all nicely enclosed and I could train her off her lead. I swear we used to sit in the middle of the court and I would just talk to her (the pressure was off, even if she bolted there was nowhere to go) and she responded so well to our wee chats that we were able to go off-lead in no time. I guess she just needed to learn to trust me.

Is there anywhere you can take your horse, just with a head collar and lead rope? I don't know if he is just playing you up because he feels you may be a little hesitant, or perhaps you are involuntarily communicating your worries and tension to your horse, but maybe some quiet walkies (with Polo mints) may be a start.

If all else fails, you can teach him the sit-stay maneouver!

[Sidesaddlelady]

Hi Denise,

Jules Barbour has a point. Perhaps you need to re-bond with your little horse - make friends again, in other words. Try just spending time together - sit on a hay bale with a book where he can see you just minding your own business, talk to him all the time while you are handling him, take him for a walk on a lead rope and try teaching him something like walking to heel and "stay" (which are both useful tricks for your horse to know in a crisis). Just have some gentle fun together. And as for the riding nerves - just do what you want to do, not what someone else thinks you ought to be doing.

And, of course, (oh, gawd, here it comes again, someone stop that woman banging on :) ) you could always try a side saddle. There's nothing to beat it for a secure, confidence-giving seat.

Incidentally, I've never tried it myself but a friend swears by Bach's Rescue Remedy both for her and her horse. It might only be psychological but if it works who cares?

[Jules Barbour]

Bach's Rescue Remedies worked a treat on one of my dogs who suffered from separation anxiety (nothing like seeing an 11-stone Irish Wolfhound quaking in case you shut the door on her!) I would heartily endorse Sidesaddlelady's comments here.

[mojo]

Denise
When it comes to overactive imaginations mine takes the biscuit. You are definately not alone on that score.
I've just found a riding school that i think?!! is a good one, and yes guess what happened?. I got bitten by a 10 month old foal on my first visit to check it out. Didnt hurt in the least but it was a shock and of course didnt help with the nerves either. Totally my own fault though and I'm not going to let my imagination run away with me yet again.
As yet I havnt booked a lesson but I do have a good feeling about this one. At least a better feeling than I have had about the others. Am treading very carefully though.
Hope to have my first lesson in about a fortnight as I am going away for a week. God will I be nervous though.
The only advice I can offer to you Denise, which isnt really advice, its common sense. Is to follow your own instincts. Try to go back to square one. Get to know your horse and dont let anyone push you further than you feel is right. Thats where I have gone wrong in the past.
Good Luck !!

[octavia 100]

HI just need to let you all know how I've been doing (really proud of this you see). For the past few weeks I've been having 2 private lessons a week one on a Wednesday and another on a Thursday. On the Wednesday I have a lunge lesson and the next day a ride on another horse not on the lunge and now I don't pull back on the reins when I go into canter I go over trotting poles and my position is getting better all the time I just love it all. Having said all that my instructor is very good and imaginative and doesn't put me down at all.

[Jules Barbour]

Good for you Octavia! I have been out of action for 3 weeks with a busted thumb (all together now - aaaaaaaw!) but hoping to get back next week. One good thing about enforced idleness is being able to watch everyone else and deciding that maybe, JUST MAYBE I'm not as bad as I think I am .... although still not very good!

PS Thumb busted falling down a flight of stairs and NOT falling off a horse, although my daughter would love the latter to be true!

[octavia 100]

Hope you are better soon. I bet you can't wait to get back to riding again. By the way I know what you mean I watched a new adult rider last week and realised I've come on a bit since I started.

[Esabelle]

Anything that will be of help to nervous mature riders would be great. My school lack understanding and patience inspite of several accidents I've had and a teacher who encourages people must be marvellous, instead I often come away feeling humiliated and I'm 52! Cannot change schools because I am in an area where there are very few schools who give lessons, and I have 2 horses, so I do feel for all of you out there with fears, because I've had/still have all of them, i just try to hide them out of embarassement!!!

[octavia 100]

Don't have any theory or anything to prove this but in the past few weeks I've been playing my favourite cd in the car on the way to the riding and singing my heart out and by the time I get there I feel so much more relaxed also have been imagining my chest is a smile and I want to make it really big which encourages my shoulders to be back and me to sit more upright. But I think the biggest difference has been the lunge lessons and I would definitely recommend these to anyone. The nerves are still there but I feel that I am working with them rather than letting them take over and so far so good. I hear what you say Essabelle about your school and instructors but would it be worthwhile saying to them how you are feeling maybe they simply don't see your anxities or maybe you can hide it well just a thought. Hope this hasn't come across as to santimonius just feeling really positive about it all!!

[LynneAC]

Originally posted by Jules Barbour
Bach's Rescue Remedies worked a treat on one of my dogs who suffered from separation anxiety (nothing like seeing an 11-stone Irish Wolfhound quaking in case you shut the door on her!) I would heartily endorse Sidesaddlelady's comments here.

Hi, sorry if I've missed it but how much & how do you give Rescue Remedy to a horse? I'm helping to reschool a 7 year old who is a big baby. He's getting more confident every day that I ride him but the poor boy really is a nervous nelly. The other day he spooked, did a spin and then ran when a dog jumped at the fence .... fair enough, I'd have spooked too if I hadn't been concentrating on him! BUT walking him up to the school he saw a crane in the distance and just stopped, legs splayed, the lot, I got him to walk forward but the poor boy thought that it was some big monster coming to eat him, he also did the 'stop dead with cartoon legs out to the side' thing when one of the stable girls was walking up with haylage for the top stables! He isn't nasty or even naughty but anything that would help him would be great. He's a lovely, sweet boy who handles really well in the stable and when he relaxes has great paces if only he didn't think that the world was against him :)

Ta

Lx

[SkyLady]

I just found this site today and it is so nice to know that I'm not the only nervous nelly around. I had a couple of bad falls last year which really knocked my confidence and left me with a very sore back. It's only been recently that I've been able to sit on a horse and not hurt :rolleyes: A couple of weeks ago I went back to riding a school horse that I had showed on and she helped remind me that I could actually ride and that not all horses I ride are going to bolt :) Unfortunately at the moment I can't even entertain the thought of cantering without getting nervous :( but I will get there!

[LittleD]

Lynne AC, I have exactly the same "problems" with my mare, she's 9, only broken end of 2002, sold on to a dealer, so did next to nought until I got her August 2003, she's an angel and very patient and loving, good manners, a doddle to catch, shoe, groom etc the list goes on. BUT spooky or what? The same piece of cardboard that she walked passed on the lead rope for 3 days suddenly became a real threat, my friend (confident,competent, adventurous, young rider) was on her and my mare literally jumped sideways when asked to walk over the carboard - if I'd been on her I would have been a gibbering wreck but afore mentioned friend just sat there and asked her to walk on no problem, I think I get so nervous before I get on her thinking what she might do, that I transfer all these feeling through to her so she thinks "if your scared then I'd better be as well". I do try to ride her as often as poss both on and off the lunge or if not I lunge her (she lunges brilliantly) but sometimes when I get on her she is really lively doesn't go madly into a trot just joggy and bouncy, I get scared that I won't be able to pull her up when I just want to exercise in walk, so can anyone come up with some ideas to a) help me get over my nerves/fears and b) help my horse get over her nerves/fears/spooks please, would Bach remedies do us any good and if so how do we take them. Sorry it's a long story any help appreciated

[Retty]

Hi, Just thought I'd pop in the conversation to say 'Hi'. My friend and I are both Nervous Nellies but with each others help we are coming on in leaps and bounds! Also helps that I have got a very safe, solid bomb proof horse! I did struggle with a lively mare but realised after 6 months that we just weren't compatible, I went from getting confidence to it plummeting, I have now sold her to a lady that has bags of confidence and is doing really well on her - took her out last week and she came 1st in her jumping! Meanwhile I have regained heaps of confidence on my newbie! We were both lucky as we did a 2 week trial swap and luckily for all of us concerned it worked out very well indeed! Any way I just wanted to say that my friend cantered up the hill today behind my trusted Max and the grin on her face said it all!!

[Retty]

My 10 year old daughter having fun on Max :)

[Retty]

Here's another piccie! This was the 1st time I cantered Max which was 2 weeks ago, this is amazing considering I hadn't cantered for months and months and was previously being led in a lesson on my previous horse as I was so scared! Just goes to show that with the right horse anything is achievable!

[Stella2]

Retty, thats great :) Where did you get Max from?

[Retty]

Hi there Stella,

I got Max from a private owner in Tiptree, she loved Max but wanted a horse with more oomph and I was a nervous wreck as my horse had too much oomph for me! So the swap worked out very well :)

[octavia 100]

Retty you and Max look great together. Hope you have a long and happy relationship. Know what you mean about the right horse am riding one just now that I trust completely and things are getting better all the time

[Retty]

Aw thanks Octavia, glad to hear that you are getting on well aswell! I am riding Max tonight with my friend again, now I have started cantering I just want to canter everywhere!! :D

[joesbarbershop]

hi all,
im retty's nervous nelly mate, We have been riding together and i really think we help each other, it def makes all the difference if you can ride with someone on your wave length, we never do something the other does'nt want to do, and always praise each other no matter how small the achievement
cheers woo xx

[Kady A]

Hello, the original nervous nelly here! Just been looking at the pics - fab.

I don't know what I would do without some of my very understanding horsey friends. Its great to go out riding with someone on the same wavelength and conscious (and understanding!) of your insecurities.

I have been borrowing a lovely cob, Barney, who belongs to a colleague at the EC I work at, I have been going on some long hacks on my own - something I sadly can't do on my own horse at the moment as she has too many "issues". I can feel my confidence growing daily, it was something I had given up hope of and I just hope that this new found confidence will help me pluck up the courage to hack out on Stella. The poor old girl was hit by a car/truck quite a few years ago, she bears some nasty scars so I can fully understand her fears.

I'm also pretty sure that a big help has been confessing my fears on NR - or should I say sharing my fears? Its great to know that none of us Nervous Nellys are really alone - long may we continue to share our Nervous Nellyness!

[Retty]

Hi Kady, Great to hear that you can borrow a nice calm cob for you to regain your confidence on! Just a thought but something that always helps me and I think Jo would agree is there someone that go with you, with you riding the calm cob and a super confident friend that could ride your horse at the same time? Only suggesting as if your horse feels a friends confidence and you see your horse being ridden then it might help when you are feeling ready to ride your horse out again?

I am off to the woods this afternoon with a confident friend who will be riding her very forward going 30 year old and my little girl who has borrowed a friends pony. This is the next big hurdle for me as Max was a school horse once and will follow whoever is in front so I know I will be going faster than normal!! Normally I ride infront as then Max is very slow (makes my legs hurt but feel secure), so fingers crossed this next hurdle in my confidence goes well!

Well done on your lesson last nite Jo, you looked very professional!!

[joesbarbershop]

hi
yes i have to agree with retty, i have found if i am feeling very nervous i ask a friend to walk with me on the ground, i find that this helps as the walking friend will know that your nervous and will chat to you taking your mind of your riding.

For the first time last night during my lesson i felt very confiedent and even my sharer commented that it was the best she had seen me riding, i really feel that riding with retty and her boy has helped me in my battle of the nerves and i know that her riding with me has helped her alot

jo x

[Kady A]

Retty - you must be psychic, thats precisely what I am going to do tomorrow. One of our staff is one of the most fearless riders I have ever meet - she will literally get on just about anything. She's extremely calm, and also she knows my horse very well. Its a case of we will hack out in our lunch hour tomorrow, I'll ride mr sensible Barney, she'll ride Stel, it will give me a chance to watch her behaviour rather than being the one sat on her panicking! All being well we will swap horses on the return.

Fingers crossed!

Met some more Nervous Nellies last night. Its amazing, if I admit my fears to some of the pupils we have they are shocked at first and say things like "but you've been riding years" and so on, but I've found that sharing my fear makes them feel better about their own fears - hope that makes sense. In fact we are going to start a Nervous Nelly Group at Moorhouse and do a group lesson based on overcoming our fears - lets hope it works!

[Retty]

Fingers crossed for you that it goes well :)

My ride to the woods was brilliant! My legs hurt real bad now though from trying to keep up with my friends speedy horse! I tried to canter at 3 different spots, managed it but Max certainly wasn't in a hurry which is great! Even managed a short stint of being along side my friend, he was faster but nothing unmanageable. When I was cantering in front I was laughing my head off as I must have looked real funny with all of the effort I had to put in to make him canter! My friend on the other hand must have had sore arms from holding her horse back the whole time! My daughter also had a great time, it's nice to be able to ride together at last!

[LittleD]

Great idea of getting on a reliable horse, unfortunatley, there isn't one available to ride at our yard anymore, but my super confident friend has offered to hack out my spooky horse, so maybe by introducing her to different noises, sights etc in a calm way (my friend is so laid back and confident on horseback) it will reduce her "spookiness" over time.

It gets me so mad sometimes, I used to ride all the horses in the school, even the ones some people thought were too stong and forward going, I was getting on so well that it prompted my to get my own horse, the difference was that the school horses were used so often that even though they were strong they weren't easily spooked.

My horse is 100% in every other way, she's so kind and gentle, follows me out of the field, loves being groomed, waves her feet around in the air one by one ready for me at feet picking time - if we could just get over this jumpy attitude when being ridden I would have the best horse in the world, I suppose it's going to take time, I've lost a lot of confidence in my riding ability and am now a Nervous Nelly and she's never done much ridden work being used as a brood mare for most of her life, I just wish I could come up with a solution right away and get on and ride her. Thank you for listening to my long moan, it helps to share it with other NN's!

[Kady A]

I did it! Wasn't totally without incident as Stella has a major case of the "grumps". She had to be brought in from the field early as the farmer was doing something bizarre. She was a bit twitchy but I was telling myself " you are wearing a body protector you can't possibly hurt yourself, that and a GPA Titanium that that your husband paid a packet for!"

Will try again on Friday!

Little D - I think we are a nice bunch us NN's, we are so tolerant of each others lengthy threads! Its good to talk about our fears, however daft you may think you someone will always listen!

[LittleD]

Kady A
I have been thinking for sometime about getting a body protector, like you, my husband paid out for a good quality riding hat, did wearing your body protector give you more confidence, because this is what I am lacking at the moment. Like I said earlier I used to ride all the horses at the yard and was confident enought to push them on if they needed it, now I mince around with my horse that much that my leg aids are probably just confusing her, I feel that if I had the confidence to put leg on and ride, just once, we would get over a major obstacle and things would improve big time, its just the thought of saying to her :eek: squeeze :eek: Trot on and her saying :mad: Buck, buck :mad: no chance ;)

[Kady A]

Hi Little D

The body protector helps loads - I feel a bit superhero'ish with it on! Well perhaps thats a slight exaggeration, but it does have the psychological effect of making me feel safer. I had a bad fall nearly 3 years ago - ok a back protector wouldn't have saved me from a fractured skull but I did hurt my back as I impacted on my cocycx (not sure if thats the correct spelling there) and then my head hit the road. I feel sure that if I had been wearing a back protector I wouldn't have been in such poor shape afterwards. Plus I am sure that my then employers would have been happier too! I bought a Cobra body protector - its the best fit I've found, as I am a bit too blessed in the cleavage department but with a smaller back - you can buy different sized fronts/backs with the Cobras and they are easier to adjust than other kinds I tried.

When I bought Stella I bought her with the knowledge that I would have problems hacking her out due to her own traumas in the past but thanks to Barney the cob and Nikki the Fearless I am hopeful that we will both start feeling more confident out and about. I always get a bit wistful when I ride out on Barney - wishing it was Stella, I always tell her when I get back what a nice time she would have had - I swear she understands every word I say to her!

As for the mincing around - god I can identify with that. Sometimes when I ride Stel in the school I am such a wuss - the pre-accident me would have really gotten the leg on and sorted her out, but now I am more likely to give in to her. She occasionally bucks, but to be fair they are a bit pathetic