speaking of nerves and fears:

[kedwards]

In light of some new research I've read with somewhat surprising findings, I'd be interested in hearing people's experiences in overcoming their fears. I thought I'd do an informal survey of riding or horse fears and see if people's experiences jibe with the findings.

So, my question is to those who have experienced successfully overcoming a learned fear (for example, after an accident or bad experience). Feel free to respond on the board or back channel. I'll explain why I'm asking after, but here's the question:

Did you overcome the fear very gradually (dipping your feet into riding again slowly), or did it seem to go away more abruptly after a very intense session or two?

[galadriel]

Both--

That is, for some reason I was getting more and more nervous riding. No accident, no explanation, just getting agitated. I did some slow easy sessions on an easier horse (luckily there's one readily available :)); I did some confidence building stuff with a horse who was a major confidence builder.

Eventually I was ready to take another step beyond the gradual route, and really let go on one ride. I had to work up to the point where I felt safe enough letting go...and then after that ride went well, I felt much happier about things in general.

[Evol_or_revert]

Hey, I lost my confidences because of charlie.

Iv found it very slow to get it back, but then again that depends. Do you mean very gradually as getting on a horse once every few weeks kinda thing?

My very gradually gain in confidence was I ride every day but first only at walk around the paddock, then go out along the road etc. it's been very gradual as normally im galloping around jumping. I do feel much more confident after a good ride, but my confidence falls very very fast if even the smallest thing happens.
Im getting better at pushing myself.

ie: today I went for a hack through the park by myself, Nicky was quite fresh today as well, so as he got grumpy going home I got half way home and instead of panicing and letting him get away with it (and me getting off and leading him home) i turned around and headed back out again I did this till he didn't care where he was going he just walked :D.

For me while getting my confidence back im regular riding at a level above what i rode at before i lost my confidence and im ment to be doing well, which some days i am some days im not. So this has been very hard on me as i have to gain confidences as well as push myself further then iv gone before.

[Shiny McShine]

With me I tend to get over my fear or nerves best by jumping in the deep end. The less I think about my problem the better. I think it is just the way I am. I know for some people that would never work for them, but I find that if I try and take things slowly I just get worse because I have time to think about everything and get all negative. If I just jump in my confidence gets a boost and I am usually fine after I break that first fear barrier. I've always pushed myself through my fear in this way.

[Evol_or_revert]

Originally posted by Evol_or_revert
Hey, I lost my confidences because of charlie.

Iv found it very slow to get it back, but then again that depends. Do you mean very gradually as getting on a horse once every few weeks kinda thing?

My very gradually gain in confidence was I ride every day but first only at walk around the paddock, then go out along the road etc. it's been very gradual as normally im galloping around jumping. I do feel much more confident after a good ride, but my confidence falls very very fast if even the smallest thing happens.
Im getting better at pushing myself.

ie: today I went for a hack through the park by myself, Nicky was quite fresh today as well, so as he got grumpy going home I got half way home and instead of panicing and letting him get away with it (and me getting off and leading him home) i turned around and headed back out again I did this till he didn't care where he was going he just walked :D.

For me while getting my confidence back im regular riding at a level above what i rode at before i lost my confidence and im ment to be doing well, which some days i am some days im not. So this has been very hard on me as i have to gain confidences as well as push myself further then iv gone before.


(edit just relised this post was in Mature Riders, Sorry guys hope u didn't mind i posted)

[horsemad]

For me, it was definitely a gradual thing....I gave up riding completely for a while and then when I came back to riding, I would only ride horses I knew to be quiet, steady, reliable types....

Having said all this, I'm still not a confident rider and I can still panic in certain situations with my own horse. Doing flatwork in the indoor school, I am completely relaxed and not at all nervous. But jumping still scares me silly and I can be nervous when out hacking. If I get scared, I will take a step back and do something I feel comfortable with for a while (ie ride in the indoor school) until I feel ready to move on. I know the 'in at the deep end' approach would definitely not work with me - if I'm pushed into doing something that scares me, this just puts me off even more.

[cvb]

slightly OT - but with trauma, research says there is often a 'breakthrough' moment, and progress tends to be very slow up to that point and much more rapid after.

Could that relate to your question ie the cause of the fear has an effect on how you recover ? Ifs it based on a trauma, then maybe you are more likely to have a 'breakthrough' style recovery. Whereas if it is based on more general long term experience (many smaller incidents leading to a loss of confidence rather than one big trauma - ie chronic rather than acute), then perhaps you get a more gradually recovery ?

Just a hypothesis.....

[Silvia]

Two years ago, after a series of unlucky events, I had lost my confidence so much that I gave up riding for a couple of months. I was feeling ill days before a lesson and had to stop my car to be sick on the way to the stables.
When I eventually decided to give it another go, the hardest thing was to take that first step and get on a horse again. And stay up there even though I felt horrible and close to panic. After that it did get easier, but it took me two years of doing a little more each time to get even close to the standard of riding I had achieved before.

[Hels]

I became nervous cantering after a fall. I carried on riding in the same way, but it took me months not to have my heart in my mouth whenever I thought about cantering. Now I am fine though.

Jumping is something I am not confident with, having also fallen off a few times when just learning. I stoppped trying to for a while and now I am taking it very slowly.

[Tootsie4U]

I think it may be directly related to personality!

Im a jump right in type of person. Not out of braveness, but more so that I dont have to think about it for too long.

[kedwards]

Very interesting thought, CVB! Yes, I was thinking somewhere along those lines. The research specifically involved conditioned fears (i.e., acquired fears from a bad experience), which is why I was specifically asking about fears due to accidents or other traumatic experiences. There are many possible reasons why a person can have fears of riding, and what works for conditioned fear certainly may not apply to someone who has fears for other reasons.

In essence, the preliminary research (using mice, not humans), indicated that fear extinction was more effective when "massed," which is quite opposite the process of acquiring new learning (which occurs most efficiently when distributed over time).

By the way, I didn't mean for only adults to answer the thread. I only chose this forum to ask the question because fear is often a topic of discussion on the mature rider section. Your input is very welcome EoR!

[chapsi]

In essence, the preliminary research (using mice, not humans), indicated that fear extinction was more effective when "massed,"

I am terrified of riding outdoors, and for some time I couldn´t canter in the arena.
I tried various riding places, including the local army centre, where one day my sargent decided to "mass" me. It was a frightening experience to both me and the horse. At the end, when eventually we both decided to canter (to avoid his whip :eek:), he was pleased and simply replied: "yes, so you can canter. From now on there is no more fear, you did it". He was wrong!!!

In the meantime, with patience, lots of lessons and my horse lovely gait, I recovered the guts to canter indoors (although, if he gets in a mood to spook or tank off I crumble to pieces). However, hacking still remains a issue...

[IrisSilverMoon]

I tend to keep my mouth shut and do things anyway.

Like if i'm afraid of taking a jump, I'm not about to tell my instructor i'm afraid to take it, I just take it. I do my best to do my job and stay in the saddle and let the horse do his. In general though by keeping busy during the ride time i don't have time to think about what if types of questions. I know jumping tow feet used to seem like a big deal when I was first beginning, but then once I had done it over and over again it wasn't a big deal.

the main key for me is getting in there and doing it, and then doing it over and over again until the threat is diminished. While I'm not totally fearless as a rider (that's asking for something) I can pretend to be almost fearless. I'm not about to give up for something that to me seems to be a silly reason. I have confidence enough in my riding that I know i'm not comming off if they stop suddenly or overjump (I've worked with a LOT of horses that either stop at the fence or charge right through it).

I guess its the idea that I know i'm not about to give up something I love just because i'm afraid of it.

You may already know about this kedwards...but the UW did a recent research study on people with arachnaphobia to see if they could eliminate or reduce the fear through virtual reality. Apparently it had some pretty positive effects, where those with an intense fear of spiders were actually later able to stay in the room with one after being exposed to a virtual spider. They basically built up your exposure slowly to a virtual spider from sitting in a room with it to being right next to it (or maybe holding it I can't remember). I could dig the article up if you are interested.

[kirrel]

I lost my confidence about 2 years ago.The problem started when I progressed into the adult class - riding horses not ponies. im quite petite so found it a bit daunting but I had a nice instructor so felt i was achieving progress etc and still enjoyed my lessons. Unfortunately, she had to leave and the owner took over the lessons-unfortunately he has a very unpleasent attitude.I soon began to feel that I was regressing and I also felt very stupid most of the time. The few times I plucked up the courage to ask him to explain something in more detail he gave me such a withering look!!As well as this I often rode a rather bolshy youngster. Ironically I had been riding him in lessons with the nice instructor and really felt I was making progress on him, with the owner I felt pretty terrified because the horse was becoming badly behaved (just generally) and unlike previously when I would have asked for advice on how best to sort him out(!) with the owner I didnt have the courage and basically just felt utterly useless. This horse also had the worst buck in the world - you had no way of telling it was coming and it wasnt just a kick upwards, he would buck with his whole body and then as he landed, take off to the other side of the school regardless of whether you managed to stay on. The last straw was having a fall due to this habit, damaged my wrist and couldnt remount, i then realised that I just didnt want to go back.

For a year I wasnt really bothered about riding, then the offer of a share came up and I was assured that he was a lovely calm horse. Unfortunately he wasnt and as we only ever hacked he could be quite scary. Then in the summer I found a horse forum, as I read through peoples posts I started thinking about all my horsey memories and realised how much I missed horses. I cant claim to be the most confident now but I am now sharing five ponies, possibly sharing a 15hh mare and maybe hopefully fingers crossed, getting a job at a riding school (although thats pure speculation!). So suddenly I have my confidence with the horse world right back! :D I think for me it was a bit of both - gradual and sudden!

[kedwards]

It seems like some instructors may think "massed exposure" means scaring you into doing things you aren't ready for (like Chapsi's example). If you're still terrified, it's just further fear conditioning, not fear extinction at all.

In my mind, massed extinction, would be more along the lines of a vacation or intensive riding program. In other words, intensive amount of time in the saddle working on the things right at the borderline of fear, not running headlong past that border into terrorland.

Iris, I have heard of the VR arachnaphobia program. I think I actually saw a documentary on it on TV once. It looked pretty interesting. Arachnaphobia is a particularly interesting fear because it seems quite primal and is rarely actually acquired by experience.

Well, Mr. K and I are heading out to Arizona in the morning to play cowboy for a week. I might check in this evening again before I head out, but otherwise, I'll talk to you all again when we get back from vacation.

[jUmPingIsLifE]

i don't like people thinking im scared/weak or anything so when i fall off i get right back on and do it again. and when im scared to do something i don't say anything i just do it and once i do it im not scared anymore.

[Tinkerbell]

When I rode as a child, I became absolutely terrified of it. I put this down to the fact that I went from the round-the-world, lead rein type lessons to the fast, everyone over this X-C jump lessons/hacks in a short space of time. And yes, I do blame the parents.

The idea is if you are exposed to a stimulus that causes fear, your body cannot maintain the high levels of adrenaline for long and you lose fear of the stimulus as the adrenaline decreases.

Now I've gone back to riding, I'm not afraid at all. I can't explain it. Can anyone?

[SFLG]

I lost some of my confidence a few months back after a fall.

I would be keeping a tight hold on the reins etc. However I did a six hour hack at the start of last November, and it helped so much.

I had time to sit on the horse a prove to myself that I had control (even did two gallops on the hack). Plus the horse I was riding prefered a nice loose rein. Since then I've not been so nervous before a ride. prior to that it was just 1 hour a week riding. (Only started riding last march).

Stu

[Laetitia]

My riding seems to progress backwards, I don't feel able to do what I was doing 2 yrs ago -ie hacking out alone. probably because nag napped big time and I'd get off and walk. I'm slowly regaining the confidence with weekly lessons and a good friend who nannies me out. I've also found the 'neck strap', amazing. hang onto that and not the horse and we both relax. Then I feel a prat for being such a wuss, because I know nag isn't going anywhere. L

[Janette]

I lost my confidence after coming off HARD from a buck in canter. Since then I simply don't canter from choice. However, this is beginning to infuriate me, because I am being such a wuss and I am limiting myself. I did have a lesson at the beginning of December where I cantered 3 times, , but the following week I tore a tendon in my foot and havn't been able to ride since (not allowed!!!!!!!!!)

In answer to the original question, the fear has become manageable, following a lesson where the canter was sprung on me. I am now determined to do it on my own.

[virtuallyhorses]

Ooohh good question - made me think about this one. I seem to have to 'unlearn' a fear. There is an element of repetitiveness but I don't think its really gradual. There is usually a diagnostic period when I decide what caused the thing that caused the fear i.e. I know that tackling 'falling off' is useless - so I analyse what caused the problem that led to the fall and address that - if that makes sense.

My biggest fears are banished in large steps - and these often take me by surprise. These steps may be lessons where I learn to change something or it may be me taking a positive 'brave' step(s). I am actually surprised that my fear doesn't exist any more.. weird ...

[Turns]

This is an area that caused a great deal of looking within for me recently. Having had horses as a teenager then giving it up for 10yrs and getting back into it again, I found that I had zero confidence but I couldn't work out why.

As a youngster I had a few falls but nothing serious and nothing that kept me out of the saddle.

After my oh and I bought a property with room for a horse, I thought "well I loved the horses when I was young, I think I will buy one" so off I went with oh's uncle and bought a pretty little gelding. He turned into a monster, turns out uncle doesn't know as much as he thought Pony Club judge my foot. So I sold the gelding.

After advice from a dear friend I went back to lessons and have been doing them for 4 months now. The confidence is coming back in leaps and bounds on the lovely old lesson horse I ride and I have even found that I can even ride other horses as long as they are quiet.

So back to the subject, what caused the loss of confidence? After talking to my dear friend about my old horses it came back to me how my last horse when I was young was very young and probably a bit too much for me and as a result I didn't want to ride her but didn't want to look like a sook so just pretended I had lost interest in riding and gave her up and gave up riding.

I lost my trust in horses, but now thanks to the lovely old lesson horse it has come back and I am now looking, with my dear old friend in tow, for another horse, something nice and reliable to get that old feeling back again.

Its an interesting subject and having spoken to many people, as an individual we feel there is something to be ashamed about for losing our confidence, however by admitting it you can then move on and having told my instructor about my fears I have found a great deal of support and understanding and from that help to get my confidence back again.

Sorry to rabbit on but having done Pyschology in my studies years ago I am fascinated by this type of talk.