Recreating the Past - Good Idea or Not?

[Cheko]

Hi - good to be back. Been so busy lately have not had a chance to lay around with my computer. Anyway, advice please.
A friend of mine whom I've known since I was 18 (both 52 now) bought the most beautiful mare in 1973 (black with a white star). Without going into details of why she sold her), it was thru lack of funds initially) she now wants to recreate the past and purchase a look alike. The mare was absolutely beautiful and when my friend found herself with a mortgage to pay and no money sold her to a woman who also loved her but had no knowledge of how to look after her. She (I'll call my friend Sarah, tho this isn't her real name) tried to help this lady but was told everything was fine, she was receiving help from another lady, who it turned out knew nothing although she made out she did. Anyway, one day Sarah and her father went to the field where the mare was and found her all skin and bone with a hoof broken off to stump. they immediately got the RSPCA. The horse was rescued, put into a loving and safe home but was too far gone and tragically died. She is not an uncaring person, quite the opposite. She has never forgiven herself for this (she is an experienced horsewoman with 45 years riding and looking after horses, her own and other people's). Anyway, she now wants to turn the clock back and is looking for another black mare with a white star. Advise on this please about how I could help her. Thanx for any advice you can give me.

[Big Ears]

It won't be the same horse and I'd feel sorry for the horse trying to live up to perfection.

Wouldn't it be better to take a horse from a rescue centre - any horse that fits the bill and needs a nice home - and then you are correcting what went wrong as well.

Just goes to show how dangerous it is to rehome horses - the charity I am involved with has a rehoming scheme and while we do home checks and keep in touch with the horses and will take them back if we are unhappy, it's amazing how many of the loan homes never keep in touch and it's a struggle to get them to pay their annual fee. You sometimes wonder if it is more bother than it's worth at times.

I used to do home for Cats Protection and often someone wanted a replica of the cat they had lost - we always refused to rehome under these circumstances as the cat might look similar but they would have their own personality and you can't go back.

[Cheko]

Thanx for your reply and, I totally agree with what you say about another horse having to live up to the one that she loved so much. I'm glad to see you are also into cats. When I lived in London, I used to take in ill treated cats with the idea of rehoming them but we had a big house then so I kept them. All of them were very much loved and spoilt. Anyway, a rescue centre I thought would only rehome horses to people who have facilities at home to take them. She would have to keep any horse she has at livery. Is this not the case?

[Big Ears]

Rescue centres prefer to home to people who can keep the horse at home/own faciltiies but our charity does rehome to people who have horses at livery - as most people do!

The only stipulation is that we ask to be informed if the horse is being moved to another yard - preferably in advance though that rarely happens! - and will do another home check to see the new yard. This is the main reason it is preferable if people have their own place as less change.

Depending on where you are try ILPH, Blue Cross, etc - Racehorse Rehabilitation also.

[galadriel]

I volunteered in dog rescue. I always thought that the people who wanted dogs wildly different from the ones they'd had before were probably wise. One of the best homes we placed a dog in was one where the owner had recently lost his large, short-haired, male dog--he adopted a medium, VERY fluffy, female dog. With such a visible difference, you're not comparing the one you've got now to the one you used to have (with all the sparkle and polish added by memory).

On the other hand--my husband lost a beloved cocker spaniel when he was 12. (Allergic reaction to yearly shots is their best guess.) When we got married, he was really quite distressed that my 2 dogs didn't pay much attention to him; he really needed his own dog, although the loss of Arthur had been so strong that he thought he didn't want another.

Long story short: He now has a cocker who looks *very* like his Arthur, who acts very like him in some ways but has noticeable temperament differences, and my husband adores Galahad to pieces--without any comparisons or negative contrasts, because Galahad really is a different dog from Arthur. It's similar to recreating Arthur, but the differences are acknowledged and all parties involved are happy. It can be done.

[Big Ears]

I agree it can be done - I lost my fluffy black puss Lily at the age of 21 a few years ago but I still have 9 cats here - I would not go out looking for another Lily but if I found one like her in trouble, I wouldn't hesitate to take it in and help her/him.

I have just taken on a grumpy old 15yo who is not exactly loveable in any way! but she needed a home as her owner was dying in hospital and the cat was to be put to sleep. She is not exactly a joy, but she was in need.

Had she been a black long hair like Lilypuss then it would have made no difference - as long as you are clear in your own mind that they are not a replica then it can be fine but I still think it is better to get something totally different. when we lost our cat Bobo we went straight to the shelter and came back with Bunny who picked us out as she through herself at us and pleaded to get taken out of pens and home. So home she came.

I think you need to have the emotional spark to want to bring them home.

[Wally]

The only thing I would say is to echo what Big ears says. you cannot replace a much loved horse. When my Haflinger retired I tried to get a "replacement" for him. Now he is a VERY hard act to follow, to my mind they just don't come any better than Fattyhorsepig, he took me to many ribbons and successes right up to county shows, we even came second to the British Champs on some occasions.

Now tell me how to get a replacement for that? You cannot, I wrongly thought I could and was sadly disappionted. I now NEVER lookat another horse with him in mind, it's not a sensible thing to do. Other horses would have to move mountains to live up to Fattyhorsepig. So I take every horse I meet on thier own merits.

The horse I have made the closest bond with is SO unlike him I wouldn't have beleived he would be my next "Special" horse.

Don't try to relive something wich may not be realistically attainable. Go into it with a fresh look and no preconceived ideas.

Fattyhorsepig was, and still is a perfect gent who never embarrassed me at a show, never put a foot wrong out hunting, X country, pairs & Singles driving and endurance. He looked after me like a basket of eggs. The horse I got to "replace" him was a complete ratbag, I was quite shocked that I couldn't just get a nother one off the shelf so to speak.

[tubby]

Been there I had one extra special horse , the once in a lifetime variety. She was quite unsafe when I bought her, the dealer I had her off was sending her for meat on the thurs & I turned up on the tue & bought her. Well I say bought, actually he took a cheque dated two weeks ahead ( hios idea not mine) & a promise that I would ring him at the first sign of trouble. We had trouble most days for the first twelve months , but she could just jump so no way was I sending her back. When she finally came right she won so so many jumping comps , as she was a cob she was only placed XC but she won dressage & was never out of the ribbons in W/H classes. We eventually were the one combination that the riding club team was built round & we also took up team chasing. As she moved like a cob she always ran out of steam around the 2mile mark & had to finish at a fast trot , but stil flying over the jumps. If I lived for another 100yrs & bought endless horses I would never have another as good as her, I doubt that one has been foaled.

[Cheko]

Tubby, I know exactly what you mean. The mare I wrote about was absolutely wonderful temperament wise and every other way. Once she was shown how to do something and she picked it up there was no stopping her. Her owner could literally crawl through her legs! She was the kindest horse I certainly have ever known. It was heartbreaking to see the way she was when she was sold. I myself have never got over it being closely involved with mare myself!

[chev]

I have a passion for coloured cobs, and have been idly looking at buying one again after having to sell my all time favourite a couple of years ago. I decided in the end that I shouldn't - because there would always be that feeling that what I bought wouldn't measure up to Fin. So I've ended up with a dark bay Welshie instead. And to be honest, I probably couldn't have got much closer to the kind of horse Fin was (in character anyway) if I'd spent years looking. He's a happy, laid-back, social animal - I love him to bits.

I'd say your friend needs to forget about appearances and just look for a horse she likes - if she finds one similar to the mare she lost, all well and good. If not - well at least it would still be a horse she will love. Either way, I hope things work out well after such a tragic experience.

[Laetitia]

Recreating the past doesn't work. Always forward, life is too short. Just so long as your friend has the werewithal to maintain a nag for the forseeable future and won't need to 'recreate the past' as in selling the new horse. good luck with the search. L