Problems w/ my instructor . . .

[imabrit_us]

Hi . . . I'm new both to this board and to riding. After a childhood of massive pony lust and stealing rides on my friends ponies and the point-to-pointers/hunters stabled next to my boarding school, I finally bought myself some lessons for my birthday this year. And I'm deeply in love w/ the whole thing . . . it far outstrips my expectations.

I've been having private lessons (twice a week) for about four months w/ a great instructor at our nearby yard. She's lovely . . . kind, patient and very encouraging and I think I'm making good progress . . . so much so that four weeks ago I began having group lessons (once a week) w/ a bunch of adult novices . . . and a different instructor.

My group instructor (we'll call her C) is a different kettle of fish altogether from my private instructor. I think we have a personality clash and I'm not sure how to get over it . . . we've butted heads a couple of times already . . .

The issue is that I'm the kind of person who needs to understand the "whys" behind a particular instruction and would rather give an aid, or ask for something from a horse when I'm ready than just (for instance) trot, sit, squeeze on the instructors command w/out feeling what's going on for myself.

A quick example . . . we were practicing canter and I didn't feel that the horse I was riding was giving me an active enough trot to take sitting trot and ask for the canter . . . the instructor yelled at me that if I "just did as I was told, he'd canter" . . . despite my telling her that I FELT we lacked impulsion. I also find her quite unforgiving and quick to criticize rather than listening . . . in my very first group lesson, I rode a horse I'd never ridden before who'd been off work for a month, has a v. soft mouth and tends to lean on the bit if you interfere w/ her mouth at all, is rather fizzy and is quite young. She kept sticking her nose up the bottom of the horse in front of her (as you do ;)) who in turn kept threatening to eat her. I was scared stiff and it took me a while to figure out that the more I tried to pull her up, the more she leaned on my hands and to use half halts (no thanks to my instructor at ALL), but when I got REALLY concerned and asked if I could turn her away was told "NO!"

The thing is, I DO learn in her lessons . . . and because she tends to push me, I feel I'm progressing and improving. And I enjoy riding w/ other people (there's just alot more going on and it's a bit more exhilirating/challenging). But this criticism/impatience thing really gets on my nerves.

Do you think I should maybe book her for a couple of private lessons and see if I can bond w/ her? If there was another adult novice class at this yard led by a different instructor, I'd take it . . . but there isn't . . . and I feel like I need these group lessons to progress. What shall I do? Or do you think, reading this, that I'm just being a big baby?

TIA . . .

N

[Wally]

Go for the one to one for a while, then she can see exactly where you are coming from. You won't have the worry of tailgating to worry about and you can concentrate on you and the horse and get to know the instructor.

As for "just doing as you are told" I'd turn away without permission if I was in danger or felt that my horse might cause another to kick out.
a) it's my kneecaps in danger.
b) their horse's legs
c) the poor rider on the horse in front who might not stay on a double barreld kick.

you have everyone's interests at heart, including the instructor, you are saving paper work......NO ACCIDENT FORM TO FILL IN!

[LynneAC]

Hi

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. My concerns would be:

1. An instructor who wouldn't let you turn away from a potentially dangerous situation (I recently rode a horse who kicks out or bucks if someone continually gets too close, it's not funny for either party when it happens!). At my school we're constantly reminded to keep our distance and to turn away if necessary.

2. That she ALLOWS you to ride so close to another horse without giving you advice to pull back or turn away!

3. That you're put on a relatively young and fizzy horse on your first lesson there without being assessed first especially as this horse has had time off.

Sometimes 'us' adults try to over-analyse things, sometimes we just have to 'do' so she *may* have a point on that one! 'Feel' only comes with time and practise (I still sneak a look at my canter lead and STILL sometimes get it wrong :rolleyes: ). The horse that I was riding the other night felt incredibly slow to me ..... I was reliably assured that he was tracking up etc ok and told to stop working so hard!

I don't think that you're being a baby, I think, from what you have written that you have genuine concerns. Is there any way you could share a lesson with someone else with your first instructor?

Good luck

x

[haribo]

imabrit your not a baby,

I know how you must of felt, i've had a long break from horses and returned back in the saddle 12mths ago. My freind started a small course at an equestrian collage and asked me to join her. It was a refresh course for AI's, i did my AI many moons ago but gave it up to start a new challange on a racing yard. I thought it would be an excellent start and i even considered teaching before starting the course. My hopes were high and the instructor was highly recommended and a very good freind of my friend.However, it was a complete nightmare, i found this instructor very rude and impatience, i was so imbarassed, she had so much criticism for me and kept using me as an example on how not to do things.

I would tell myself ever week that things would get better, but i found my riding actually getting worse and my confidence was shattered.

All i can say to her is, she is an example on how not to teach. A good instructor should not only improve your riding but should give you an abundence of confidence. As you think your riding has improved, she might be pushing you that extra bit because she knows you can do it. If you riding wasn't improving thats a diffrent thing, but it might be a good idea to have a private lesson with her. If you feel this is not working, i would find another instructor before your confidence is spoilt.


Good luck

[nutkin]

I would be inclined to agree with LynneAC. Private lessons would be a great way to get to know your instructor better and you could always use the excuse that you wish to make faster progress than you would in a group situation.

[Hels]

I agree - take a few private lessons and see if you develop confidence in the instructor. That confidence is key - a good instructor should know better than you and you should instinctively know that, and trust them when they push you a little. If you don't have that confidence you won't know when to take the leap of faith that enables you to improve. I agree you have to take a critical look at your instructor because otherwise we would always assume that anyone who knows a little bit more than us is right and you would end up following bad instructors blindly. But good instructors inspire confidence!

[haribo]

Also i agree with Wally,

your safety is a concern here, if at any time on a lesson you do not feel somethink is not right let that instructor know, it should be a horse length in distance between you and another horse. If your horse is a little fizzy, try turning a circle, this helps if your horse has a longer stide then the horse infront as well, your instructor could of also tried letting your lead file for you horse to settle.

Always ask your instructor at the end of a lesson why ? she chooses these diffrent methods, i would like to know why you had to use another horses backside for your brakes

[Wally]

Half a horse's length at least shouts I....every ten seconds.....:D :D I even tells them how to aviod pile ups......... s'good job our lot tollerate jungle book elephant crashes......;)


Isn't that what the horse in front is there for? BRAKES.

I used to have to play second fiddle to the MFH on the pony club hunts. All the kids were told to head for the backside of the horse I was on if they got out of conrtol. I'd start the hunt with no kids on the lead rein.....half an hour into the meet I'd be like a flippin' baloon seller, I think my record was 4 kids on the lead rein at once.

Bless old Humphrey, he'd put up with kids cannoning into his backside all day.......made you want to call the vet in at the end of the day to make sure they were all accounted for!!!!:D :D :D :D

[haribo]

it does make me chuckle wally,

Maybe some of these riding schools are hoping to teach there clients to get that closely ,that by the end of a few weeks they can cut down on there horses, and put two saddles on one horse and no one would notice, its known as lift share.



:D

[kedwards]

and I feel like I need these group lessons to progress.

What is it about the groups that make you feel you need them to progress? I think it helps to have some experience riding in a ring with others, but most people learn more in private lessons. If it's just about extra riding time, can you just book an extra lesson a week with your good instructor?

That said, if you want to stay with the new instructor because you really feel that she is helping you progress, then you need to dig deep within yourself and decide whether you can handle her style of teaching. Although she is likely to give more information about the "why's" during individual lessons, I don't imagine her basic style is going to change.

I do tend to agree with Lynne that we adults can tend to over-analyze things a bit sometimes and can benefit from just doing the thing and asking questions later. But, ultimately, as a free thinking person, you have the right to make an executive decision when you feel something is beyond you or truly dangerous (such as circling if you feel you are getting too close and can't control your horse's pace).

Welcome to the board and good luck in whatever you decide to do. I too started lessons as an adult and it has been one of the great joys of my life. I hope it continues to be one for you also.

[Lovecat]

Originally posted by Wally
I'd start the hunt with no kids on the lead rein.....half an hour into the meet I'd be like a flippin' balloon seller, I think my record was 4 kids on the lead rein at once

Sorry, no advice to offer beyond what's already been given, but ROFL, Wally! What a splendid image I now have in my head:D :D

Sounds like your lessons are like the kids ones at our yard - the "One horses's length apart!" cry every 10 seconds is VERY familiar...:D

Welcome to NR, imabrit!:D

[FRED]

I had a situation where with one instructor, I wasn't happy, so I opted for semi private lessons{just two riders}with another and made good progress.I tried private lesson 1st, but this didn't work for me with my instructor{she moaned about my school horse,said he was too lazy, moaned about her husband and children, then ran off to the tack room for a whip, she got the shock of her life when she got back because I said "thanks for leaving me"{she shouldn't have done that}but on the other hand my lesson was going well without her and the whip wasn't needed.It was my last lesson with her.
I loved group lessons, even when they went into choas
:o I learned something, more so discipline around horses while ridding I think.
I have seen a pony do a double barrell kick at canter more than once,it was good the rider behind was keeping a safe distance,if I say so myself. I never did understand why the pony did these antics.
I ride in the great outdoors now.There are times Im shocked at the lack of rider discipline, sometimes we decend serious steep banks and a rider will canter away or trot off when riders are half way down, its a good job we are 'aware' to be aware.
Good luck with your lessons.

[Laetitia]

It's just as irritating going up long hills, the leader comes down to a walk and then off they go -trot, just as you're reaching the top and want a little walk. Does my head in.
Have a private lesson with this woman and see how you get on. Personally I can't be doing with group lessons, find I don't concentrate and end up feeling haven't achieved much. L

[imabrit_us]

I thought over how I felt and decided that while I enjoy the dynamic of riding in a group, I don't enjoy this instructor's style . . . and I'm not sure we'd get along any better in a one-to-one setting. I chatted w/ the owner of my yard and she recommended I switch group lessons . . . turns out there's another novice group lesson taught by the chief instructor (who's already said she'd like to have me in her class . . . and who I've seen teaching) . . . so it's done!

I'm not questionning her "rightness" and I'm not switching because I disagree w/ her . . . I'm switching because I disagree w/ her style. No'one likes being belittled and shouted at and I didn't feel like having her chip away at my hard-won confidence.

Coincidentally, I had a private lesson this morning w/ my other instructor and stuck around to watch the lesson after mine . . . turned out a more experienced rider was riding the "fizzy" horse I had ridden in my first group lesson . . . and the instructor gave a fabulous lesson on her character, quirks and how to ride her . . . it was so cool and really helped me see that my difficulty riding her (she's very choppy, unbalanced and a little flighty . . . doesn't bend very well) isn't just to do w/ my inexperience, but is partly to do w/ hers. AND it showed me that she's just a baby and trying really hard . . . and honest.

So . . . thanks for all your supportive words/advice . . . onwards and upwards!

N

[kedwards]

I'm glad to hear that. It really sounded like you weren't "clicking" with the other instructor. Keep us posted on how the new group goes! It's wonderful that the chief instructor has already asked you to be in her group. She must see something she likes in you, I would figure.

[galadriel]

Originally posted by imabrit_us
No'one likes being belittled and shouted at and I didn't feel like having her chip away at my hard-won confidence.

Absolutely. I'm glad you've found a nice solution.

[imabrit_us]

"It's wonderful that the chief instructor has already asked you to be in her group. She must see something she likes in you, I would figure."

Yeah . . . a challenge!!!

Many thanks,

N

[Waikato Valuta]

poor filly. I'm suprised you would find two people with such different teaching style's.

The new instructor sounds great, good luck!