Rant

[Silver1]

Sorry guys, go ahead and ignore this. I just need to getr it out of my system before I explode.

I finally moved my horse to a new ranch, its really nice, the price is right, the owner really cares about horses, and she's willing to give me some tips about my riding. Thats where the problem started.

You see my interest has been taken over by driving. I wanted to learn how to drive, so I had some lessons on my old ranch and I got really excited about it because it was so much FUN. So I started breaking Mear to drive, and she's been going really well. However on this new ranch the owner Jennifer keeps running right over the top of me when I'm trying to do stuff with my horse.

I want to go to a driving trial this summer. I will definately loose but I'll have fun blasting cones into outer space and galloping Mear in circles. How ever, if I'm going to drive her in a competition in say, August, I certainly don't have time to spend dawdling do I? But every day I go there she has something planned already, and her plans are always more important then MY plans. She keeps talking about how I need to have more 'fun' with my horse etc.

But I thought I was having fun.

So she slaps a saddle on and drags me around for an hour, and tries to teach me to post a trot (I am definately not comfortable in an english saddle, especially if I'm not allowed to drop the stirrups. Stirrups always throw me off for some reason.)

Then she said she was going to buy me a saddle for helping her with the stalls, which I do a lot. I thought "Well, she's just trying to be nice and she really wants to be helpful." So I explained to her that I'm trying to buy some harness right now and I'm really not interested in a saddle right now. So then she said that she wanted the saddle and that she'd buy it and I could use it when ever I wanted. Oook then...

But today was the last straw. Her vet said that the *only* way for her horse to stop being jealous of my horse is to ride together in the same arena. But she can NOT control that horse at all. I don't care what she says she can do, her horse isn't really broken. It just doesn't buck when she puts a saddle on it. The horse kicked her other horse to pieces when she turned them out together and I have no intention of having my horse encounter a similar fate just because she wants to ride with me.

I don't want to ride, I want to drive. I only want to have fun with my horse the way I want to have fun. I don't see the point of wishing it were all over with while she gallops past saying "See, isn't this fun?"

[galadriel]

Originally posted by Silver1
Her vet said that the *only* way for her horse to stop being jealous of my horse is to ride together in the same arena.

I really don't understand this at all. Were you there when the vet was there?

Bleah. Sounds like you've got it a bit rough; it's hard when someone's excited about helping you, to get them to let you alone to do something different. It also sounds like she's delighted to have someone to ride with.

Hmmm...Had a thought. Perhaps you could take in a big calendar, to post by your stuff or her stall, with goals for each couple of weeks marked out on it, and great big circles & stars around major events (like the trials). If you make it very clearly show that your goals are related to driving and being excited about driving, maybe she'll have a chance to see (without you having to grab her by the shoulders and shake her) that it is what you want to be doing.

I suspect this is a situation for diplomacy, not my strongest talent ;) I wish you luck...maybe someone else would have some better ideas.

[Silver1]

That is a GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!
No I didn't see the vet, and I didn't know she even had one, she does everything herself. Stitches, floating, vaccinations, and she's good at it too. She really does impress me, and she's a wonderful character, just that like everyone else she has...well...unique traits that are a touch hard to get used to. Like chattering non-stop and making plans and assuming they're ok.

But if I put a calender up, she'll see MY plans and they can become HER idea and so she tells me what I want to do that day and...everyones happy! *pleased*

[galadriel]

Originally posted by Silver1
she'll see MY plans and they can become HER idea and so she tells me what I want to do that day

(laugh) Hope it works that way! :)

[virtuallyhorses]

oh dear - a people problem, I hate that ;) I guess waving a dressage whip with an old shopping bag tied to the end at her to make her backup out of your space isn't appropriate here huh?

[Silver1]

LOL, no but it might help her horse out. She claims he's broken but...well...the horse scares me stiff. She says my horse has been beautifully trained by someone and is an absolute lady. (Which is true. You aren't going to catch MY horse in the mischief hers gets into)

But her horse (who is apparently jealous of mine) has been an absolute pig about everything. He was furious with me when I reacted to his charging and rearing by taking the rake and driving it at him. (I pretended it was a horse head and used the snaking motion dominant stallions use.) I didn't even touch him but he acted like I stung him. Got all mad and had to put on a big macho display, and when THAT didn't work...he was out of ideas, so he went and munched hay while I cleaned his stall. (This was after barging past me into the pasture. He fully expected me to chase him around the pasture for hours while he had fun. I closed the gates to the other horses pastures, leaving him alone in the pasture, got all my stuff into his stall, then went out and drove him back into the pasture.)

Now recently I've gotten permission to give him treats and he tries to steal them, pins his ears and demands them, and does everything else but ASK for them. He acts as if treats are his right, and not a privelage. He was shocked out of his mind when after he tried to grab it...I went and gave it to another horse. Now we have an agreement, either he walks all the way outside of his stall and I put the treats in his feeder, or he politely takes it with his ears at least not twisted back.

Her other horse (Whom she also trained herself.) Is a joy to be around and shows the extreme difference in personality, so its safe to say I don't think its her training thats causing the problem. The only thing he did was when I tried to pick out a hoof he didn't want picked, he slammed the foot down and walked away. I followed him till he stopped and picked it up again, and had no problems that time.

As you can see, except for the problem with always planning my days for me, the work at the stables HAS been interesting, and Mear has never had better onhand stable care. I can only be there so much, and Jennifer watches over the horses like a hawk. She even noticed a nail poking out of my pipe corral before I did and had it removed. :D

We had a talk yesterday, when I was training Mear in the english saddle, and she told me to go get the western one so I could ride. I told her that I wasn't going to ride today, I was going to do some ground driving. Turns out...she wants to train Loki in harness as well! So maybe...just maybe...there will be an end to this madness for awhile.

[galadriel]

Originally posted by Silver1
Turns out...she wants to train Loki in harness as well! So maybe...just maybe...there will be an end to this madness for awhile.

Beautiful.

"Loki"? You know, the one unbalanced/nasty horse I've ever known was named Diablo...before he developed whatever his problem was...

[Laetitia]

Watch that one. If she now wants to drive and had been anti before, she may take over and have you doing her horse and leaving you llittle time for your own.
Sounds as though she is one of those people who need, crave constant attention and don't even know how demanding they are. They are usually absolutely charming and its very difficult to distance yourself politely without causing a major sulk. I presonally would do as you're doing, quietly and persistantly continue to do what you wish to do with your horse. Cheers L