Big news! (with a moral for those out there training babies)

[Tootsie4U]

Two things:

1) Gold (Chestnut filly) has found a home! All the cautions about her have been disclosed and one kind hearted woman has agreed to bring her home. She had a chestnut filly out of the same stallion and really likes the idea of having another. Im so happy for her.

2) Finally, after four long months, I stopped to smell the roses. I tried something different and decided to listen to my horse. Three friends of mine, who are also instructors, had been making suggestions about how to fix Bonfire's leaning/pulling/falling out/evading issues and each suggestion just made him more confused. So, I decided to take some giant steps back and low and behold, instead, Bonfire spoke up (probably because I was finally listening to HIM) and told me what I was doing wrong. I changed my focus and it opened up our communication pathway and now the problem is gone. Note to self: always listen to your horse, he's about the best instructor you could ever have.

So, Im happy again - on cloud 9! :D

And if anyone is wondering what he told me to do: "Small steps, break things up, dont ride me like Im a 15 year old show vetran, be clear in your aids - maybe even make them too obvious" ;)

This also fixed another problem we were having... I had begun to think that he just wasnt capable of learning to respond to my leg/seat aids. Then it dawned on me, don't block him with the opposite leg. Took the opposite leg off (completely) and he moved away so nicely that I almost fell off from shock! :D Now, we can be at a halt and I can ask him to step right with my left leg (but must completely lift right leg off his barrel) and he'll step straight over! Neat stuff!

Moral of the story: you know your horse, always consider what he has to say and don't write it off as stubborness or laziness. Good chances are that he just doesn't get what your asking.

[Showjumper]

Brilliant! :D Yay I'm happy all's looking up! :D

[Mehitabel]

good news on both counts! especially relieved about gold though, it must be a weight off your mind.

i had a baby weekend too - little denim cantered for the first time on friday, jumped on the lunge this morning ( a whole 9 inches!) and we went out bitless today as she's eaten her bit - a rubber one.

[galadriel]

YAAAAY!

Dancing around cheering my head off, here :) Two wonderful developments.

Tootsie, if you've never read "Riding Toward the Light," by Paul Belasik, I think you'd quite like it. He talks about his development as a dressage rider...how he had to learn to balance A) objective knowledge about how to ride with B)listening to the horse, and also balance 1) cut-and-dried technique with 2) the fact that riding is an art form. Really a very interesting book, and one I think that you'd appreciate after all your struggles to find a way to communicate with Bonny Boy.

Anyway, congrats on the breakthrough. Just terrific!

[HairyCob]

Brilliant:D Well done!!

[kedwards]

Wow! Wonderful new all around. I'm so relieved to hear Gold found a good home. And, as always, it's great to hear about you and Bon's continuing development. They really can give us a lot of feedback when we're patient enough to listen, ay? You two sound like you have a lovely bond.

[larri]

Brilliant news - isn't it great when it all comes together:D

[DITZ]

Great news well done. It must be a wonderful feeling to have your horse understand you:D I know what you mean about having to take the leg completely off tho, I have to do that with the turn on the forehand, he just wasnt getting it till I realised I was using both legs equally!

[chev]

Good news all round! Especially pleasing that Gold has found a home, and a really good one too by the sound of it.

Sounds like your relationship with Bon is just getting better and better.... brilliant! :D

[cvb]

Big congrats !

I know what you mean about breaking things down. Fi goes sideways (leg yield or sidepass or shoulder fore etc) beautifully under saddle.

But when I was working from the ground she was anticipating and "doing" sideways ie what she thought I wanted, and I couldn't work out how to correct and get what I really wanted (quality steps, one by one, and only when I asked).

But when I broke it down and worked on the steps like moving forehand only, now yield hind only, it starts to improve very very quickly.

So I was trying to do "joined up writing" when Fi could only write in print ie letter by letter, or her spelling went haywire (to stretch the analogy).

Curious tho - you said you worked out by listening - but what did you observe that led you to the conclusion ?

[Tootsie4U]

Originally posted by cvb
Curious tho - you said you worked out by listening - but what did you [i]observe[/i[ that led you to the conclusion ?

I just had a gut feeling. His protests kept growing exponentially, from leaning and falling out to shaking his head, pulling, and just having mental breakdowns after a few minutes. He was confused and I realized that I had to STOP before he became sour. Some people said he was playing up and taking advantage but I know my horse and thats not what was happening.

I had obviously skipped some steps in his training somewhere, I didnt know where exactly but b/c he disliked contact so much, I knew I had to start from scratch again. He's in a full cheek french link and if he's having a problem with contact in that, then its important to go back. You dont have much if you can't get your horse to turn.

My horse has become a good natured horse. He doesnt buck, he doesnt bolt, he doesnt rear, he doesn't fight with other horses in the ring, he is tentative and willing to me on his back. If he's tossing his head it means something. I was ignoring it and doing as everyone else told me to do - more rein, louder leg, etc. and it just made him more frustrated. I had enough and told everyone to just let me try it my way, which was Bon's way. The biggest thing though was that all these other people were asking me to ride Bonfire leagues ahead of where he is in training. They reasoned that "you just have to do that" and I never did that at any point leading up to where we were before this all started. Bonfire learned all other things by simple repetition. He told me that what they wanted was too much and his mind couldnt comprehend all that input at this point in time.

So, now we're working slowly again, he's telling me how much contact he's comfortable with. I keep him slow (to the dismay of my friends - "he's jogging when he should be trotting!!!" - they say. But, to him, he's still trotting, right?) so he thinks slow and wont get frazzled again. Plus, the slower he's going the better Im able to keep him controlled and that allows me to think slower so I can be more focused. Whats the hurry anyway? We're just going in cirlces... :D

I just have to trust our relationship and trust my abilities I guess. I have trouble doing that.

You guys are great. Its nice to be able to share these things with people who can be happy with me. Thats not a common thing, especially now since I've basically insulted my friends- oh well, they'll get over it :rolleyes:

[cvb]

:D there's some quote I vaguely remember from a European Trainer taking about British riders - that they walk too slow and trot too fast !

IMHO its important - especially in early training - to work within the horse's natural rhythm and tempo, and not insist that they do X beats per minute that people [i]think[/]constitutes eg a working trot.

I think the reason people tend to scurry along is because when they go slow they lack energy and engagement and end up on the forehand. So to get those things back they increase speed !

Rather than going for quality regardless of the speed.

I would rather see a horse supple and flexible at a slower pace than stiff backed and unhappy at a higher speed.

[Esther.D]

What great news, about both of them:D

You guys are great. Its nice to be able to share these things with people who can be happy with me

Seconded, it is great to share these successes with people who understand. We have gained so much from NR, especially with Pablo, everyone else was telling us we should sell him or have him put down but everyone on NR has understood that he is a lovely horse and worth keeping on trying with.

[Mehitabel]

you know i've been having lessons lately - my instructor says everything needs to be done as slow as possible for the first few times - a horse can't learn if it's rushing. we were doing quarter turns about the forehand while still walking this time, and to begin with we were positively crawling along. also for shouldering in - had to really slow the walk (and then the trot) down so petal could work out where the legs had to go and what to do. towards the end of the leson we were back onto a normal speed and doing well.

[Tootsie4U]

Originally posted by cvb
I think the reason people tend to scurry along is because when they go slow they lack energy and engagement and end up on the forehand. So to get those things back they increase speed !


And I think that was my one friends view point when she was trying to help me with Bon.


Originally posted by cvb
Rather than going for quality regardless of the speed.

I would rather see a horse supple and flexible at a slower pace than stiff backed and unhappy at a higher speed.

And thats the way Im thinking and whats working.

See, Bon is trying but if he's always being pushed while the learning process is going on, he'll recieve less rewards (releases) and more demands/requests and I can certainly understand why he just can't handle that emotionally right now.

Es, you've said it well. And, thats exactly what I need to keep doing with Bon now that Im back on track. Slow, put in as many steps as you can to get to the final goal and then build on that.

Someone get me a pen and paper, I need to write that down :D

[KarinUS]

Moral of the story: you know your horse, always consider what he has to say and don't write it off as stubborness or laziness. Good chances are that he just doesn't get what your asking.

Toots, you made my day! That's exactly what I tried to talk to you about a few weeks ago. I am so happy that your belief in Bon has won out over the ideas of these friends of yours.
Regardless of what kind of progress you will be making in your riding, I think you have taken the biggest step forward in your relationship right now!

Congratulations. I think this will change everything for you two! :)

[Lovecat]

That's such great news, Toots - really pleased for you!:D :D

Having read your posts here, and after a big think, I've decided to try (!) not to stress so much about Murph's lack of canter in the school. Sadly I can't lunge him in canter, I've actually been advised not to, due to his size and ungainliness, as the lunging paddock isn't large enough to give him the space he's going to need. Unfortunately there's no safe place large enough to do it elsewhere, the turnout fields are too lumpy and rabbit-holed...

My instructor has accused him of taking the p* and not trying, but I can really feel that he 'wants' to canter as we approach the corner ( if that makes sense!), he just doesn't quite know how... I suspect this is why he's been bucking into it, out of sheer frustration.... so I've decided that rather than keep on getting het up about it and whacking him (as has been suggested by said instructor) I'm going to listen to him, take a deep breath, say 'so what if my horse can't canter in the school', take him for loads of hacks now the light evenings are here, get him used to canter in a long straight line (thank God for Epping Forest bridlepaths!) and maybe when he's more balanced, try him in the school to see what happens.

And to give us something to work towards, I'm going to enter him for a non-canter dressage class in May!:D

Oh Lordy, I've rambled on yet again and all I wanted to do was say - well done & congratulations - you've inspired me!;) :D