I have made a final decision!!!!

[Midge]

I have come to a final decision!! I have realised that I am just not going to "Gel" with my mare. I have ridden a few other horses at my yard, without any fear what so ever??? So, I've had a long, hard, think and decided (VERY SADLY) to sell my mare and get something else that would suit me better??
I love her so much and she has given me no reason to be nervous of her, but I just am???????

Now I'm worried about finding her the right home, that will love her as much as I do, but give her the life I can't!!

[stephydoo]

hey dont worry sweety, irealised the same with gymy.
the reason we have horses and pay out all that money is to have fun and if thats not happening then its clearly for the best

[Midge]

Thanx, Stephydoo!!
It's the hardest decision I've made in a long time. I'm very tearfull all the time??

[KarinUS]

We bought our second horse a few months ago and at this point I do wonder if we are the right home for her as well.
So you are not alone.
Maybe I have too high expectations though. My first horse was the perfect match. He can do no wrong. :D. It's just so much easier for me to be understanding with him because I have always felt a special connection between us.
I don't have that connection with the second horse.
It really shouldn't matter though because she belongs to OH. But that's where it gets even more difficult.
I can ride her and she will behave fine for me but OH is really having a hard time with her.
He just got into horses because of me! He bought a bigger truck, a horse trailer, the horse and he is building us a beautiful barn to bring the horses home to. But now he is nervous of riding and recovering from a broken rib.
While Missy ws advertised a a kid safe beginner horse she clearly is too sensitive to be truly happy with a 'real' beginner. Her last owner were too terrified to ride her.
She's not bad! I am no expert but I can ride her. But she's not my horse. I already got mine.
I think Missy has some real potential to be an awesome horse but I am having such big doubts that we can bring out that potential in her.
She has made such big improvements at first and really seemed to thrive in our care but the situation as it is now is not acceptable for the horse or her owner in the long term.

I guess we need to make a decision and then either give it our all to live up to being the perfect home for her or finding out what the perfect home for her would be.
With my own horse I can simply sense what motivates him, how he thinks, etc. and so it is easy for me to respond correctly.
What makes dealing with Missy so difficult is that I don't have that connection and understanding her is much more difficult.
I am just not sure if her behavior at any specific time is based on fear, pain, disrespect, etc. and so reacting appropriately is a guessing game.

OH still likes her and wants to keep her but also keeps making excuses for the two of them which is what made me think if neither of them sees a need to change the situation will not improve.:confused:

I hope your next horse will be a perfect match like mine (#1) has been for me... :)

[StableCat]

I went through the same thing last year, I put my horse out on perminent loan to a friend of friend who owns her own yard in Buxton. When I bought her I assumed I'd have her til the end of her days. It was the most heart breaking decision and coupled with overwhelming sense of guilt at not being able to give her what she needed it was tough time. But then I realised... In admiting it was never going to work and making sure I found her the right home I had given her what she needed. The move was a success & I'm fortunate enough to get regular updates & saw her compete in July - She is fit, well, and above all enjoying herself. I'm sure you will have a similar happy ending. Best of Luck.

[Midge]

I do hope so Stablecat!!
I'm now finding it difficult to accept there may be a home out there that would be good for her. My heart knows there is, but my head doesn't agree?????? Eerrrrrrrrrrrr!!! I hate this!!
If you guys know of anybody looking for an Arab mare, 16years old, 14hh and a real sweetie!! Let me know, Pleeeeez!!

[cazrider]

Hi Midge

Exactly the same happened to me. I adored my first horse, and was heartbroken when he had to be put down. Eventually i decided to get another horse, and totally overhorsed myself with a lovely but quite sharp mare, who I loved but came to ultimately realise was not for me. I kept her for a year and a half because , a) i loved her, and b) felt guilty and that if I persevered it would all work out. Eventually, I realised I was paying someone else to have the fun I should be having, so very reluctantly decided to sell her.

I put her with photo in Horse and Hound, being very honest that she was a second horse that needed a confident rider, but for that kind of person would be lovely, and had about 20 enquiries. Some, I filtered out at the first hurdle as they wanted a confidence giver or it was their first horse. Eventually, the first person to come to see her bought her. She owns her own livery yard and wanted a horse for her and her daughter to do working hunter, compete, and hunt. It is six months on now, and they love her to bits, she has done loads of things I would never have dared do and is clearly with the right home.

I have bought Sennie, a 14 year old welsh section D who is perfect for me, easy going and doesn't need riding every day.

So, my advice is go for it Midge, just take the right precautions and your lovely arab will have the right home and you can concentrate on getting the right horse for you.

[kedwards]

That's such a hard decision to make, but as with many things, the right decisions aren't always the easiest.

I'm sure the right home is out there and, hopefully, when you find it, you will be comforted.