Just can't seem to 'get' it

[Caro]

Hi guys
Feel a little despondent today. Had a 30 min schooling session last night – 3 of us, and the other two were good riders (it’s pretty standard stuff that I’m always the worst). I was on a horse I haven’t ridden before, but he behaves really well for others, walking out well, and pretty forward going really. He’s actually a real sweetheart, and I enjoyed trying him, but I simply couldn’t get him to walk forward more actively – so the others kept on having to pass me, which made me feel stupid. Then both times we tried for a canter he struck off on the wrong leg, and I just looked such an idiot. I’m beginning to feel I’ll never get my riding together – perhaps it is sometimes too late?

He’s a bulky Exmoor type, and I’m used to riding much lighter horses – does that make any difference to how they are to handle? I just felt frustrated more than anything – I understand about aids, and I think I’m doing what I see everybody else is doing, but it just doesn’t seem to work with me.

Sorry, just needed to have a little cyber sob. :( I’ll have bounced back later today!

[canadianbeaver]

everyone, always feels disssapointed in how they ride, and riding is not always perfect. Instead of saying you're the worst, think of yourself as being the least experienced. Not everyone picks up things first thing, and it does take many many years to become a great rider. Don't be so hard on yourself! What went well in the lesson? Did you feel any improvements? Sometimes it's easy to take things too serious at times, although it's really hard for me as well!!!

[Laetitia]

Caro hello, don't be downhearted. We all get days when nothing seems right. Look at the positives in your lesson - you stayed on - he went into canter, O.K wrong leg, so what. I can assure you that the other people in your lesson have been where you are and I expect they weren't even looking at you. If they were they weren't concentrating on their own riding.
Don't look at them and compare. Just don't look at them. You're there to have a lesson paid for by your hard earned cash, so get the most out of it. Ask for a different nag if you find this one so dozy, no point wasting your time and making huge efforts when there is no response, and exhausting yourself. Onwards and upwards. L

[notpoodle]

hehe these bulky exmoor types :) i always found very heavy cobs a bit hard to steer, but thats just me i think (anyone else was able to steer fine and dandy ...).

as for striking off on the wrong leg ... dont worry about it, at least you got canter :D

(my instructor has just told me not to worry about wrong legs in canter with my pony for the moment, because pony isnt used to cantering in the school, so as long as she canters its great!)

julia
x

[ANN G]

Hello Caro,
I had a lesson yesterday where I rode Frankie who on a few lessons ago rode like a dream, keen and went into a canter for a whole lap of the menage!
Yesterday he just wasn't in the mood and couldn't even be bothered to try a active walk let alone a decent trot or canter:( As I was sharing my lesson with my friend who has her own horse and is much better, I ended my lesson feeling a little dejected!
Then as I read the comments from others on this site rgds your post, I thought that's just life full of ups 'n downs and next time will get better:rolleyes:
Ditto for you, take care and Happy Riding!
Ann:D

[Yann]

Don't worry, it probably had nothing to do with your riding at all, and everything to do with the horse and what mood they're in. They are just like us, and have good days and bad. So much of riding is about the horse and it's something you don't often get told in riding lessons. I can remember feeling like a duffer in lessons one week and a star the next depending on who I was given to ride:D Eventually you'll find you can deal better with a horse that isn't cooperating, but that comes with time.

Even now on my own horse I have lessons where I come out of the school thinking '#@£>&@! some weeks, and beaming ear to ear others. Progress is definitely 'non linear':D

[carrimclaren]

Originally posted by Yann

Even now on my own horse I have lessons where I come out of the school thinking '#@£>&@! some weeks, and beaming ear to ear others. Progress is definitely 'non linear':D

Back that comment up completely. :)

Caro, i felt like a complete idiot on my last lesson (about a month ago) when i couldn't even get my act together on a really forward going horse. I had an 8 year old kid circling me and i felt a prize prat. But like Yann said some days are good, some bad. As long as you carry on and keep going then you'll find that in a month or so you'll probably get back on that same horse and think "huh, i'm riding pretty well now".

I schooled mine on monday and was so ****** off with myself at the end of 20 mins that i felt like screaming. Wednesday schooled her and it all went perfectly well.

[Caro]

Thanks so much - your advice is sound and it definitely helps.

I think I've come to realise that I do tend to compare my riding to that of those around me, and probably so much so that I start getting disheartened before a lesson really gets going, so I don't really give myself a chance. I definitely have a real chip on my shoulder - or whatever it's called, perhaps envy - about those lucky enough to have been taught properly from childhood. It's not in a mean way, just in a 'wish it was me'/I'm now so old way, but it's not good for me. I've decided to book a couple of private lessons, if I can find a good local instructor, and work on myself so I don't have any of these distractions.

Your posts have also reminded me that horses are just like us in that of course they can have off days - mine was definitely having a sleepy day.

I've sorted my kids out brilliantly with their horsey education, so that's a real positive. Just gotta sort myself out!

Thanks for your comments. They have really helped me to sort this out in my mind. Cheers! :)

[shirley]

I have a cob who just loves to plod, which is fine when out hacking in the sunshine on a relaxed Sunday morning, but not in a dressage test. I have been working on this with my instructor and she informs me to push with my legs and give with my hands. So I put an analogy of clutch control on the car. Let me explain. Everytime I was pushing with my legs, and not giving with my hands the only response my boy could do was to go into trot, but as I give with my hands his frame can extend and so his walk can go faster. But I am learning to just get enough push to inform him I want a faster walk, and not a trot. But we are getting there, even to the point he is starting to walk a little faster when we are out hacking. So talk to your instructor when you have your private lessons and see how she can explain it, certainly better than I can I expect.
Horses / ponies are able to collect and extend their paces within walk, trot and canter and now I know it is done by various means, as I said 'clutch control', and probably accelarator control as well.
Good luck and do not forget those that have been riding since childhood seem to have it together, but sometimes do not really understand the mechanics of what they do, whereas you can.

[KarinUS]

Oh Caro. Don't worry! :) I haven't been getting it for 4 years! :D The trick is to take private lessons so you have nobody to compare yourself to but yourself the week, months, years before. ;)

[laura jeanne]

Caro, I particularly liked Laetitia's advice. I always think I'm the worst one in our lessons (well, true enough) but usually now I am so busy thinking about what I'm doing that I don't even look at the others except to keep the spacing in the arena in mind or when the instructor has us do an exercise one at a time.

I ask myself all the time if it's too late since I didn't even start lessons except for a few at age 10-11 til I was 52. I'll probably never be that great but when I look back to last year (been riding a year and a half) I can see a big improvement and now feel so much more comfortable on a horse.

How long have you been riding?

(you can see a pic of me at age 10 in my fabulous riding outfit in a post called the Flying Nuns after the old TV show. My sisters in crime are there too.)

[Caro]

Hi all

Just to say another thanks - you really do help to boost spirits. I've since had a couple of really good hacks out, on the dependable 27 yr old we're sharing, and I feel a lot happier, though I'm not learning much as such on a gentle hack! I love the analogy of clutch control, and am working on collecting different speeds at trot at the mo.

Laura Jeanne - I've ridden on and off most of my life, but with a 6 yr break for my children, and with few actual lessons. But I'm really not that good - I'm not just saying it. My form of riding is very much derived from getting on, and going with it. And I was taught to grip with the knees - which is a very difficult habit to break out of. Instructors used to tell us to imagine we were holding £5 notes with our knees against the saddle! I now realise how much I am lacking - the problem is as we get older we think more about the possible problems, but I don't feel any older. Kids are so natural as they just get on and go with it - I'm envious of my 4 yr old's natural 'go with it' movement and deep seat on the back of a walking horse for god's sake!!!

I'm so pleased to have found NR, though. It's full of advice and help. Thanks folks. :D

[maya-m]

Yes, it's really hard not to envy them. :rolleyes:

BUT, honestly, it's the worst thing you can do. Really don't think about them.

Keep in perspective where YOU are at, and try to keep your mind still. That may be partly why you couldn't make your horse walk forward - he could feel your anxiety/frustration, even if you thought you were doing the right thing.

Don't forget to allow yourself to realise how far you have come, instead of worrying about how far there is yet to go. This is what we tell our kids, and then forget to do ourselves!;)

It may also have been because getting a good walk is much harder than a lot of people think - (it's double marks in dressage, I think!? Not for no reason)

I had a lesson just like the one you described, it was the one I videoed, and it was the watching of that video that made me leave that school.

I'm not suggesting you leave this school, I'd just say, don't have any more group lessons if you can help it, just for a while, one to one will help you no end. Try lots of different instructors (and schools) if you can. Choose the one you 'like' (ie, make progress with) - never mind if someone takes offence - choose them before the one you don't want chooses you! :eek:

It'll be ok, promise. One good session and you'll be right up again. :)