Help!!

[Sue]

Hi. I'm writing this in the hope that someone can help me. I'm in my forties and went back to riding about 18 months ago after a LONG absence (about 30 years!!) I was really enjoying myself and getting on reasonably well until I had a bad fall back in May. Unfortunately I fractured my spine and consequently was off work for 3 and a half months. However after physio etc etc I've now been told I can go back riding but of course I'm really frightened. I want to go back but I'm not sure where or even how. I've lost confidence in the school I was at for various reasons not just the fall. I live in the Manchester area. Does anyone know of a school with a sympathetic teacher and VERY steady horses? Any tips? Thanks

[Karla]

Your determination is awe-inspiring!

I, too, had a similar incident occur, but decided to continue on with my present school. By chance I managed to get a new instructor and that helped to regain my confidence. There's nothing like a bit of emphathy in the face of fear.

I'm from Canada so I can't offer any advice on schools in your area, but over here it's best practice to visit a school you might be interested in during an actual lesson. You can get a good idea of the instructor, the way they teach as well as the school itself.
Hope this helps.

[Nancy]

Dear Sue,
My fall under the horse was this past Jan. We slipped on the ice and I was smashed up , the horse is fine. I went back to trail riding in Aug. I was a little uneasy for the first month, but not too bad. Then he took another trip. No one was hurt, but by nerves are shot. I'm 51 and need to work! The horse is a good one but it is a struggle to enjoy the ride and not think of a million things that could go wrong. I try to focus on the years of riding with pure pleasure and no bad incidents. Today in the park I was a wreck on the way out, but my riding partner just kept pointing out the beautiful fall colors, the berries on the shrubs, the turtles on the logs in the lake. By the end of the ride, I felt much better. Try a little visualization and deep yoga breathing before riding and don't give up. I'm hoping it's like childbirth, we'll forget the pain and find the joy again.
Happy trails,
Nancy

[Myrmex]

Sue - sounds like you had a pretty nasty fall. Would it help to try driving for a while, rather than riding? It's great fun and might be a good way of getting used to being around and controlling a horse again, without the fear of falling off getting in the way.

[Mar]

Sue -- aaaahhh, I feel your pain! The same thing happened to me in July 1998 and I fractured my back.

I knew I wanted to return to riding. FOLLOW YOUR GUT, and do not go back to that school. I felt the same way -- it was not necessarily the fall, but it was other things. If I had followed my gut a long time ago, I would not be starting all over with my riding today! (And I mean ALL OVER).

Spend lots of time looking for a new barn and a new instructor who emphasize safety issues and the philosopy of kind training for the horse. And find an instructor who is willing to LUNGE you for as long as it takes to get your confidence back. I came back from my accident, found my dream barn, and had them lunge the h---- out of me, AT THE WALK, until my confidence returned. And I knew I found the right barn when they not only agreed to lunge me, but REQUIRED it!

I now drive 45 minutes one-way for a lesson, where I used to drive 10. But it's worth every extra mile on my car.

I could write a book! If you want to talk further, feel free to E-mail me at kelleher@brown-szaller.com

And by the way, fear can be good -- it reminds you to have a healthy respect for these powerful animals. Fear is a part of most riders' experiences -- whether beginner or experienced. Do not feel embarrassed because you are afraid, and do not think that it can keep you from riding. Personally, I feel that if you don't have a tad of fear, at some point on a horse, you're just plain nuts! ha ha Fear can be overcome with the right instructor and barn (and schoolhorse, of course!)

[Mar]

One more thought -- when you find a new barn, ask if you can help out around the barn, doing barn chores and the like. I'm sure they'll let you -- they always need the help. Muck out stalls, do lots of grooming, offer to help with turnout, things like that. Being around the horses in a less "threatening" environment (off their backs!) will help with your confidence.

And speaking of turnout -- make sure the schoolhorses get plenty of it. That is one area that I will NOT compromise on.

Off the soapbox now!

[Sue]

Hi again,
I would just like to thank everyone who replied and gave me such encouragement. It has inspired me to go out and look for a new stable, I'm going to one this afternoon, and I an determined to 'give it another go'! Thanks once again