Getting rid of horse's fear....

[hummingbird94]

My 3yr old quarter horse mare is so scared. I just got her last week and she is terrified of every type of movement. She acts like she has been mistreated. She has come around some, but still. A couple of days ago my son was about 6ft from her and clapped his hands....she had a fit.
If you move your hand or anything fast around her, she jerks back like she thinks she's gonna be hit. Last night I was leading her and I slipped and fell(it was raining and very muddy and slick), she freaked out...jerked backwards and rared up slightly. It was all I could do to hold on to her and took me a minute to get her to settle down. I'm handling her every day and rubbing her and loving her. Any tips on getting her over this fear. She likes the attention and I can pet her, groom, and my dad even trimmed her feet until we could get the shoer out. But if you make any sudden/quick movement around her, she freaks.
I want to help her. Thanks

[clip-clop-oops-crash]

ive got a horse who behaves exactly like how u describe + at 17hh stallion its getting a bit of problem! - in my horses case he was previously abused which is why he reacts this way but if that isnt the case with your mare then she just needs 2 learn 2 trust u better, make a conscious effort 2 do everything quietly + avoid loud noises or sudden moves so as she doesnt learn 2 associate anything with frightening experiences at such an early age - its also worth trying the monty roberts methods of 'joining up' with her + take some time 2 just b with her. also is there an older or more reliable horse u could take with her when introducing her 2 new situations? some horses are naturally a bit 'edgy' and although your mare does seem a bit extreme - at such a young age she is still discovering the world + everything is new 2 her so give her a lot of reassurance + encouragement + hopefully she will settle down soon :) p.s - if all else fails + she is constantly in a nervous state then 4 ure mares wellbeing it could b worth trying some of the calming herbal remedies available 2help her just 'chill' :)

[Maci]

I'm not quite sure on this, so I can't help you on a good solution to this, but maybe I can give you an idea on why she is acting like this.

*Do you know who broke her in? Was this person nice or cruel with her? If you don't know, she might have had to deal with the harsh way of being broken in- instead of patience, love and praise, smacks/hits, mean words and yelling. You said you just got her, so take it slow when riding her and handling her from the ground. You want to let her know that you are going to provide her with a kind home and that she should not be afraid. Lot's of praise when she does good, aviod sudden movement if you can, and if she does wrong, try not to result in smacking her right away- firm, low but effective voice "NO!" A yell might scare her. Don't rush into riding her- let her settle in and get used to her new owners and surrondings. Some horses take longer than others to learn to trust. Remember, she's 3, so you want to develop a kind relationship with her now so she/you don't have problems later!

Hope She Gets Better!
Maci :)

PS-"Joining Up" with her is a REALLY benificial idea!

[hummingbird94]

I think I am her 4th owner and she's only 3. I don't know how the trainer trainer her. The previous owner that I got her from had not touched her in 8 months and said that the people that trained her said to lunge(sp?) her for at least 30 min before riding her to calm her down. I'm afraid that they may have used a whip on her during this. I haven't attempted to ride yet since I'm trying to give her plenty of time to know me. The prvs owners tell me she is 1 month pregnant also. I've been keeping her in a lot away from the other horses for now, but she can see them and everything. I get her out and feed her around them, but seperately of course. It just breaks my heart to think that she was abused. She had a halter that had been on her for who knows how long that was actually making dents in her face, not to mention the hair loss and sores. When I removed it she gave me the sweetest look. The halter was extremely to tight and twisted up on her.

Thanks for the advise everyone.

[fionahogg]

Try to think more of gaining trust, as opposed to getting rid of fear. Once she trusts you (she has to REALLY trust you - not just accept you) she will be a friend for life and will give her all. Trust is very hard to gain, and easy to lose, so take a look at how you handle her. Really scrutinise your behaviour around her and think how you look in her eyes. Remember that you are a natural predator whereas the horse is a prey animal so while you may think you are handling her sympathetically, she may still be wary. I would suggest you try some Parelli Natural Horsemanship to help her to trust you and also to teach you to think as a horse (i.e. a prey animal) and her to think as a human (i.e. a predator).
It sounds like your horse is displaying typical wild horse behaviour. In the wild, a horse will always be on the look out for potential dangers, and will run away from anything that could put them in danger. This is because they are naturally claustrophobic, 'full-throttle-aholics', and uh, can't remember the other one :)! Whereas a human, as a predator, tends to face up to danger and not always be on the look out for danger. So you need to encourage the horse to become a little human and you need to become a little horse. When you've achieved this you will understand why he behaves like she does and vice versa. But until then she will see you as a predator, especially if you unwittingly send her signals that tell her just that. I'm not saying you're treating her badly - far from it and I'm sorry if it sounds like that! I'm just saying that maybe you should re-evaluate how she sees you. You need to find a way of handling her that is half way between the 'carrot' and the 'stick' approaches. She needs to see you as a friend, and friendship will take a long time to be built up.
Different horses have different horse-analities. Just like some humans are more wary of dangerous things, so are horses. Your horse does sound as though she may be naturally more alert of danger, and therefore you need to act like the lead mare in a herd and show her how to act when faced with a scary situation. But instead of teaching her to flee, you need to let her know that maybe life isn't so scary.
Like I said before, trust is difficult to gain and easy to lose. So you need to be very careful and introduce various different situations in order of 'scariness' making sure she is completely happy before you continue.
Also, why do you keep her seperate from other horses?
If you want more information on Parelli Natural Horsemanship then I recommend you buy the book, 'Natural Horse-Man-Ship'. It is available through Amazon for about £10.


Hope this helps!

Fiona

[Dizzy]

Oh dear what a sad start this young horse has had. She's had 5 very traumatic experiences, 4 different owners and being weaned from her mum. She's been broken very young, and made to work very hard, if she's been lunged for 30 mins before her ridden work began. She's also worn a head collar for goodness knows how long, as you said she had the imprint on her head. And to cap all that she's in foal.

No wonder she's afraid of her own shadow. You will have to be very sympathetic, understanding but confident when you're handling her. She'll need your confidence, to be able to build her own when she's around you. She also needs a regular routine, this will make her feel secure in her new home. Keep on as you are with lots of handling, grooming and attention. But I do think she would happier out with another horse, I wouldn't advise putting her out in a herd, if you have one who is gentle and easy to get along with, that would be ideal. Having another horsey friend will help her to settle in. Also if she has a horsey friend she gets along with, you could take them out for walks together and let her see that life's not a scary as she thinks.

I'm so glad she's now found a home, where someone will love her. I wish you all the luck in the world, you have a difficult task ahead. You need to give her lots of positivity, praise, be understanding but firm (when I say firm, I know you know I don't mean hit her) but don't be afraid to raise your voice and stand your ground. I don't believe in tip toeing around any horse, when your around her, talk, sing, whistle, when you do that, its creates a relaxed atmosphere and she'll be aware of where you are and get to know you're 'good' company. One other thing is when you approach, don't look at her, talk, have your head/shoulder turned slightly away from her, but be confident.

It makes my blood boil, when humans abuse horses, I don't know why they breed younsters they don't want and sell them on as babies, leaving their future to God and providence, and now this 'baby' is in foal, starting the sad cycle again.

Once again, good luck, and give her a big hug from me.

Lesley

[Mossy]

A word of warning,if I may. Take it gently round her by all means but don't be so quiet that you reinforce the fact that she is OK to be scared. Move normally and confidently but watch your body langusage. Talk to her and let her know you are around. Run your hands over here as you go towards her back end. If you watch her body language and how it responds to yours and there are no physical problems hopefully she wil come round. The fact that you can handle her is a good sign. What with one trauma and another it has taken me 12 months to regain Connie's trust after I took some advice which turned out to be very bad and, as a result,lost it!!!
Good luck.

[Gracie]

Hi!
I just want to say I totally understand where your coming from with your problem. We have some race horses at our barn who were thrown in a field and had no human contact till now! They won't even except a carrot from you. I just reccomend meeting the horse in the middle. Don't be whimpy but don't be threating... be some where in the middle. I would praise the horse when she lets you touch her, gain her trust. Like some have said trust and love even is hard to gain from a horse. I own a two year old paint filly who I'am still trying to gain trust from and I have owned her for almost a year! It takes them a while to understand! Just try not to stress the mare out too much because I believe it is possible that horses can abort their babies ... By the way doesn't ne body know if that is true!
I;am pretty sure but I don't want to scare!
Any how I wish you and you mare the best of luck!

[fionahogg]

Yes horses can abort for pretty much the same reasons as humans.

[Wally]

Mossy has got the right idea.
I have a bundle of nerves for a horse, it's taken me 2 years to even get him to trust me enough to do up my girth while mounted. Don't pander too much to her fears, just be absolutley calm and confident around her and show her that sudden movements are nothing to be feared. Poor Ljóssie used to have heart failure if Frances chucked a brush over to me, now he's got the plot, flying brushes are not a thing of terror! You have to remain utterly calm and quiet during one of her fits and ignore her,hard as it is with 500kg of panic going on around you!

If I had fallen over while leadig him I would have had the same reaction, utter terror, I reaslised I had made real progress one day, when we blundered into a bog. We ended up floundering about and I managed to get off him and roll out of his way, he then got himself free, stood perfectly still, took a deep breath and remained calm, it took a very long time, so just work with her and watch her every move as a reaction to your body language.

[Mossy]

Thankyou Wally for the compliment.
Just to reassure you that it does happen eventually. Connie was nervy when I got her, due I suspect to previous handling as she was fine for some things but a heap if she saw a lunging whip or a hot horseshoe, not bad from a horse bought from a farrier! We had a very rough few months last summer during which I had lots of support from folks on this board, and then an enforced winter off. Anyway this bundle of nerves would not let a carrier bag anywhere near her last summer. I have been dropping things, throwing things and generally being normal, with one eye very firmly locked on her ears. Today she voluntarily lowered her head and bent her ear towards me so I could rub her behind her ear with a plassy bag on best crackle mode. Well she is 15.2 so if she wants her ear rubbed her cooperation is essential. I am only 5ft 5! She is only five now, four when I bought her.
You have time on your side so take advantage of it. Try Parelli type games. they are great for confidence and partnership building.

[hummingbird94]

I will be trying your suggestions. I'm proud to say that I've had her for 2 weeks now and she is slowly improving. I was so proud last night when she came up to me and let me put the halter on. I've been having to brib her with food first and then sneak a rope around her neck. Then when I went to put her back out last night, she tried to put her head back in the halter after I took it off. I think we are starting to bond. Now to just get the courage to get on her.

[Mossy]

Sorry to butt in again but my thoughts are very behaviourist orientated on this one. Get the confidence and trust on the ground before you even think of getting on board. If you accidentally catch her in the mouth or anywhere alse when trust is half formed it will take her a very long time to forgive you, and for anything else as well. I know riding is the long term aim but make haste slowly. An horse's memory makes as elephant look forgetful!

[hummingbird94]

I don't want her to loose that trust, but I don't want to wait to long either. My father is really pushing me to get on now, but I told him I had to wait until Lily and I were both ready or it wouldn't work. Thanks.

[Maci]

That's great that you both are bonding and starting a "break through"! I agree with you on riding- wait until she's comfortable enough to relax without hesitation around you. It might take time, but it'll work better if you wait, in the long run of things! If you do think that you are both ready for a ride, someday, take it slow- walk and maybe trot. Just to get her comfortable. Slow and steady to get her built up and used to you and her new way!

Good Luck, And Hopefully MORE Success!
Maci :)

[Mossy]

Hi
There is no answer to your question about how long apart from when you both feel ready. One day it wil just feel right, just don't try on your own no matter how right it feels. Put you own safety first. I know how your father feels. This expensive thing eating it's head off! I bought it for her to ride! However you cannot rush horses esp youngsters, not too slowly either mind you.
Good luck

[hummingbird94]

I'm 25 and bought her myself. My father has just been dealing with horses longer than myself. LOL, his horses are at my home and pasture! He is big into going ahead and doing things ASAP...no waiting. But I see differently.

[Wally]

Training a horse like the one Mossy has and, by the sound of it, like you have, is like building a house. Take time and patience and get the foundations right, then build the walls bit by bit, that way you will have something that will stand for years, it may take a bit longer but with horses there is no quick fix. Rush things and the house will come tumbling down around your ears!

[Maci]

This isn't quite about the subject, but it has to do with rushing, in this case, new riders, and the disadvantages that come with it!

There's this trainer in my area, that rushes EVERYTHING- if you were a new rider, no horse experience what-so-ever, going to her for lessons, I can garentuee (sp?) you that in 3 weeks time, she'll have you jumping! And when the riders quit her school, and come to the one I go to (which takes things slower), they have such bad technique, form, etc. and they have to start from the beginning! Conclusion-taking things steady and as they come is more benificial than anything!

Good Luck!
Maci :)

[clip-clop-oops-crash]

i totally agree with u maci - i was taught 2 jump way 2 early + found it uncomfotable + quite scary! when i changed instructors she spent literally months working me over trot + canter poles b4 she felt i was ready 2 even go over a cross-pole!

[fionahogg]

Totally agree with you Maci!

If you take the time, it takes less time. People who rush things often don't have the time to do it right, but always have the time to do it over and over…