How to word my ad

[MadMumInKent]

Perhaps those that have been following my threads over the past few weeks wouldn't mind giving me some advice... I'm going to post an ad, looking for a horse to share! :eek:
I keep typing it, and then deleting it again! What would a prospective sharer want to know from my ad? What I'm looking for, for a start.... Where I am based... My experience.... (or lack of!) ;) What else? I don't want to over-sell myself and appear more capable than I really am, but I don't know how to fit it all in an ad. Should I put that I help at the RDA? That I am currently having lessons? I think I need space to write an essay, not a 50 word ad! ;)

Can anyone help me word this ad? :D Thanks!

[Kerry Claire]

In the ads I've done I've always said how long I've been riding, what I've covered (eg all paces and jumps up to...), my height/weight and how much I'm willing to pay. Also any other skills or experience such as breaking in, work with rescue ponies. Plus the factors you mentioned.

[Pickles]

I'd try to keep it to minimum, people tend to scan adverts so you want to catch their attention.

Put in the essentials, ie mine would say "bombproof hack, sensible ride, up to weight".

Be as honest as you can about your skills and how much time you have, if you can ride/look after a horse mid week this may be a big plus for working owners.

[MadMumInKent]

OK, thanks you two :)

I'll have another go at wording it... see how far I get this time ;)

I have 50 words to play with....

Wanted to part loan/share: Weight carrying cob around 15hh for 35 yr old female in Thanet. Must be bombproof and suitable for a novice rider who has returned to riding after a 15 year break. I currently have 2 lessons per week and also help at Riding for the Disabled once a week. Am confident in walk and trot, and getting there in canter, so just looking for a horse to do extra schooling and occasional hacking, and to give lots of love to. I have school age children so am available Mon - Fri only.

Hmmmm thats 96 words :rolleyes: This is harder than I thought it'd be!

[AliC]

Just a thought related to this - have you looked for a horse to share in our local free horsey magazine called Pegasus? That's where I found the horse that I loan. I live quite near you - I am in Herne Bay.

Ali

[Wobblydeb]

That seems to cover it - you could easily get the same info down to 50 words. e.g. By replacing "and to give lots of love to" with "and to love" or "I have school age children so am available Mon - Fri only." with "Available school hours only".

Good luck! :D

[AliC]

Here's my "go" at the ad!

Wanted to part loan/share: Weight carrying bombproof 15hh cob for 35-year-old novice female returning to riding after 15-year break. Currently having two lessons per week and helping at RDA. Confident in walk and trot. Looking for horse for extra schooling, occasional hacking and giving lots of love to. Available weekdays only.

That's 47 words excluding the bit that says "Wanted to part-loan/share" as I suppose that would be in the heading part of the ad rather than the body of the ad.

Good luck!

Ali

PS - Do you ride at Nelson Park?

[LinzCos]

Sorry but that wouldn't make me call you, MadMum. I would be worried that you wouldn't be able to cope out on your own even on a supposedly "bombproof" horse.

I couldn't resist spending my lunch hour editing! Try this;

Wanted to part loan/share: Reliable weight carrying cob for returner rider, 35 yr old, (? height) female. Thanet area. Experienced RDA helper and having regular lessons I am now looking for a horse to do extra schooling and occasional hacking in return for yard duties. Available during days Mon - Fri.

Good luck :)

[MadMumInKent]

Linzcos - Thankyou! I really appreciate you giving up your lunchhour for me! Sounds good - I think I'll write these down and show them to my instructor tomorrow at my lesson. She'll know whether I'm over selling or under selling myself as she's got a pretty good idea of my capabilities.

AliC - Thanks! Yes, I do ride at Nelson Park, do you know it then? No, i haven't seen that mag... Any idea where I might be able to find a copy?

Wobblydeb - thankyou :)


Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your help. :)

[~Perdita.M~]

pegasus, country market etc are normally to be found in tack shops and feed merchants along with a few other mags! I know I always come out with an armful :D

[AliC]

Pegasus is usually available from tack shops, pet shops or feed shops. You would probably be able to pick one up from the pet shop/tack shop in Cliftonville, I think it's called Creature Comforts and it's in Harold Road. If you can't get hold of one I'll keep an eye out and see if there's anything suitable next time it comes out. I usually pick up a copy from Johnson's Garden Centre on the Thanet Way at Chestfield.

I had several riding lessons at Nelson Park last winter when I coudn't ride my loan horse (Jess) because it was too dark in the evenings after work. I rode Minstrel and Licorice and was taught by Julia. They were lovely horses and seemed really well cared for. My friend rode Webster, he was a shire X and was about 18.2 hh!

Good luck looking for a horse to share. I was really lucky, I only phoned one number up and it was Jess - she was perfect for me. Does the horse definitely have to be in the Thanet area or would you come further afield, eg, Herne Bay way? I could ask around near me to see if anybody's got anything suitable.

Ali

[kyanya]

Where are you advertising, MadMum? 50 words doesn't seem very much and there are lots of other places where words aren't restricted on the internet. That's how I found the horse I share now and all I did was advertise on free websites. If you'd like to know the websites I used, just let me know.

With regards to your advert, I'd look closely at how limiting your words are. For instance, by saying 'Weight-carrying cob' this immediately narrows down the potential share horse criteria quite considerably. This is fine, as long as you are sure it is ONLY a weight-carrying cob you are interested in. If the owner of a Dales pony (for instance) saw this, they may not get in contact with you as the pony is not actually a cob but you specified a cob, despite it's great capacity for carrying large amounts of weight.

Also, the location issue is a big one. Although you have said where you are located, you have not said how far away you are prepared to travel to share a horse. As it is, you may get lots of useless emails about horses a long way off that you would not consider. Having to turn these down becasue they are too far away can be heartbreaking, especially if the horse sounds perfect and you're having no luck within your local area. I would specifiy an area at least loosely to give the people reading your advert an indication of whether their horse is in a sutaible place for you to consider it.

It's a great start though, good luck with it! I bet you can't wait until the ad's ready and the replies start coming in!

This is a copy of the two adverts I used. The long version was my main version which I put everywhere that words were unlimited and the short version was for one website where my words were limited. I'm not sure if they're any use to you but I did get quite a large response. Quite a few were unsuitable, but I arranged to visit two horses and I'm now happily sharing the second one I saw.
Long Version:

WANTED: Horse to share/part-loan
Kind, sensible 17 yr old girl seeks horse to share/part-loan/help with 1+ days a week (weekends/after school/holidays), depending on ease of accessibility from Uxbridge, Middx) Would consider all surrounding areas, including South Bucks, East Berks, West London + South West Herts. Ideally horse would be 14hh - 15.2, and fairly sane, but not necessarily ploddy. I'd just like to have fun with hacking and general horse care, but any schooling/competing would be a bonus. Experienced mum would be prepared to assist, although I have a fair knowledge and experience of horse care, along with riding to an intermediate level. Small financial contribution available, along with commitment and reliability. Also would consider riding school/livery yard/stud farm part-time work.
Please contact Emma on email address here or telephone number here (out of school hours please)

Short Version:

Kind, sensible 17 yr old girl seeks horse to share/part-loan 1+ days a week (weekends/after school/holidays), depending on distance from Uxbridge
Ideally horse would be 14hh - 15.2, fairly sane, but not necessarily ploddy
For fun hacking/schooling/DR/SJ, competing a bonus
Experienced mum would also offer assistance
Small financial contribution available

[MadMumInKent]

Perdita and Ali - Thanks for the tip... I'm off to Cliftonville :D I need some bedding for the rabbit anyway, so I'll use that an excuse if I get intercepted by a suspicious husband ;) Ali, I ride Liquorice all the time! She's a gorgeous horse isn't she, so patient, and she has a really smooth canter, which is a godsend ;) I would really like to keep my search limited to Thanet, the less travelling I have to do, the more time I can spend with the horse.

Kyanya - thanks for the help, and for sharing your ad with me... I have a huge list of websites in my favourites, and will start going through them all with my ad soon. You've given me things to think about... and you're right about the 'cob' aspect of the ad, after all, I don't ride a cob at my lessons usually.

I really appreciate everyone's input... I'd be lost without this site!

[Pickles]

Just one last thing, if you do include "in return for yard duties" in your add it will sound like you are not prepared to make any financial contribution. I don't know what your situation is but this may put some owners off.

Good luck and keep us informed of your progress.

[Luxie]

Good Luck MadMumInKent! I've shared in the past and am now loaning, and it's great.

One small thing you might want to consider though is the necessary unpredictability of the arrangement.

Some years ago I agreed to share the most gorgeous little (15 hh) three-quarter Arab gelding. His owner had another horse to which she devoted most of her time, and the result was that he was virtually mine, I could ride him whenever I wished. So for four wonderful years I did just that; he was a really 'fun' character, lovely to hack out either alone or with others, and quite ready to learn new things - we had a weekly private lesson, and got as far as flying changes (not always very straight, mind you!) and the very beginnings of piaffe.

But then his owner had a falling-out with the owner of the yard, and moved all her horses (four in total by this time) with a week's notice. The yard she went to was impossibly far from me, and I offered to buy him, but she wouldn't consider selling. I went to see him a couple of times (heartbreaking, he obviously recognised and welcomed me), but then she moved again and I couldn't find out where. Two years later I was told he'd moved on again, had had an accident and had had to be put down.

BUT I never regretted having shared him for those four years, and try not to reflect that had she agreed to sell, things might have turned out differently for him.

I've now got a totally different (16.3 standardbred!) horse on permanent loan, and am just as devoted to him. He belongs to the owner of the yard, so that makes a removal less likely, but I have to bear in mind that he is NOT mine, and that decisions concerning him can be made over which I have no say.

You do need to be realistic about this! But like I said, Good Luck, and Go For It.