Do your children ride?need advice

[momofsix]

I need input from those of you who have children. As I might have mentioned before, we have lots (6 children,ages 13,10,7, 5 and 2x2). At first only the 7 year old was crazy about horses but now they all are, especially since we got our lease horse. They all want to ride all the time. We can't afford to put all of them in lessons all the time, so we have let the older ones take turns taking lessons. We also take them with us to see our lease horse a few at a time and let them help take care of him. I have walked them on a lead line on the horse and I have lunged the older girls also on our horse. Our horse is very sweet and calm, but I am terrible at lunging, so it still makes me nervous. I might let them walk him with reigns once we have had the horse a little longer. Am I just being totally paranoid? I wish I was experienced enough to teach them more. I feel kind of guilty that I am right now riding more than they are. Do you tie riding priviledges to chores and good behavior, anyone?

[Jayne_Holli]

Hi, i have 4 children (7,10,13,15) but they all have their own horse/pony. BUT before they did they all had riding lessons weekly and until i knew they were confident, expierienced and commited enough to have a horse they didnt have one. All of them were confidently jumping in riding lessons before i bought a horse, apart from Jemma who is 7 and she is learning to ride but i have taught her myself but couldnt do it without a pony, and to be honest a little 11hh welsh doesnt cost much to keep, infact it will work out cheaper than £15 a week riding lessons. But if you cant afford riding lessons for each, would your horse be sensible enough for you to have a hours riding lesson on your horse but share it between your children? if they are just starting out riding and still learning but your not expierienced enough to teach them, then i think its best definately to have proper lessons to avoid loss of confidence with your children/horse if they did ride it. im sorry i cant really give much advice, but i know what its like to have 4 horse mad kids (2 more for you...)

Jayne

[Echo64]

I don't have children but I am the child of someone who had to share a horse. Mind you, it wasn't six children and it wasn't for very long either. My mom didn't want to discourage my riding any, so I was never "punished" by being kept away from the horses. You want to be careful that your children don't become resentful about this situation at any time.

There's a lot of turn-taking involved, and I think the idea where you let your older three rotate lessons is a good idea. That way they do get to learn and everyone gets a shot.

Is there no way that the older ones can "earn" lessons at a stable from working there? No back breaking labour, but some mucking or grooming or anything like that? I used to do that when I was nine; one time to earn money, I picked rocks out of someone's lawn so they could mow it without ruining their lawnmower blade.

[joosie]

Being brought up in a low-income household, where our parents struggled just to earn enough money to pay the bills, my sister and I learned from a very young age that we could not expect to have everything we wanted bought or paid for us. Instead, we would have to work for what we wanted and pay for things ourselves. I have been horse-mad for as long as I can remember, and since I was about six I begged and begged for riding lessons, but it was not something my parents could afford. Money was tight and taking up an expensive hobby like riding was just out of the question.

In the end, I finally got to learn to ride when I was about 13, because I made a new friend who taught me on her own ponies. Since then I have always had to work for rides, relying on the kindness of other people to let me help with their horses, which has taught me to appreciate every second I get to spend around them. I have never had a proper riding lesson in my life - my knowledge has come purely from practical experience and mountains of enthusiasm. And there are so many riders out there - including many here on NR - who have done the same because they were in a similar situation.

I know this isn't exactly advice, but I thought I'd give my two cents' worth. In my opinion, you are already doing so much to allow your children to develop their love of horses, and they are so lucky to have a horsey mother who is willing to indulge this expensive hobby. My parents do not like or trust horses and never even encouraged me to start riding. But also, I think you are such a great mother to be so keen to get them involved with horses. In a few years the older ones will be old enough to get Saturday jobs and pay for their own lessons. Until then I think you are doing more than enough for them.

I think that if you have to work for something, rather than having it simply provided, you appreciate it a lot more. Many of my friends who had lessons or their own horses or were in the Pony Club have quit riding because it wasn't special to them any more. My passion and enthusiasm, however, has continued to grow and I cherish every horsey moment I have.

[MadMumInKent]

I can't really offer any advice, but just to say that I'm thrilled that my 8 yr old shares my love of horses. He has mentioned its a bit unfair that I get 2 lessons a week whereas he only has 1, but I don't feel guilty about it... My love of horses has existed since I was a toddler, and I've waited such a long time to get where I am now. He's only beginning and has a whole life time of horses to look forward to. When I was his age lessons were dependant on my parents having the money, and money was tight most of the time.

However, although I only let him have the one lesson a week as oppose to my 2, I don't think I would ever take this away as a punishment, or use it as payment for chores - I want to cherish and build on this adoration he has for horses, and for him to make the most of it and get what he can from it. I'd hate to take away the one thing he has a passion for, same as my other 2 sons and their football. Children need something like this, it teaches them such a lot about life.

If/when I ever get a loan horse or my even my own horse, I'd like to be able to lead rein him for the sheer enjoyment of it, but he would still only have his one lesson a week at the stables.

Sorry for rambling on, and I know this doesn't help in the slightest... Its just my little story of kids and horses :)

[~Perdita.M~]

I have three children..........and a pony.My daughter ( 7) is the only one that has really shown any interest, and it didnt really pick up until recently. They have all been happy to do lead rein on Sham until recently, when she started to take more of a real interest in taking care of him too, asking me lots of questions and so on. So, because our pony is too big for her to learn on properly, she has recently started lessons again at a school, on a tiny one :) She will have lessons until she A) gets bored and wants to stop. or b) she is competant and enthusiastic enough to have a first ridden small type for herself. I dont think I would be able to afford to have all of them in lessons :eek: You may find that if your share horse is new, and you riding is new, the novelty may wear off for some of your bunch when they see the hard work that goes with the looking after side, its not just about riding. Then the remaining children who are still desperately keen can can have lessons and help with your horse! ;)

[butmum]

I was exstatic when my oldest told me she loved horses. As soon as she was 5 we sorted out lessons for her. We have just been given a pony for her by a member of the family, but her lessons will continue as she is not yet experienced enough. However, I have found that the cost of lessons for one is staggering, so don't envy you. I am lucky enough that we have land of our own, so when the lessons stop I won't have to replace that with livery fees.

I think you are doing a fab job, keeping them interested and juggling lessons between the older ones. Keep up the good work :) :)

[hackedoff]

Dont feel guilty about making yourself happy babe!!! I am a slacker with only 2 kids but they are both boys so not riding as part of their peer group. I dont withold riding as a punishment but I am expecting my 12 year old to start working for rides this summer! He rides our youngster in lessons and on slow hacks which saves a bit of cash. I have tried to teach them a bit of 'horsemanship' not just riding which means we all get a turn doing something! Teaching a dippy 10 year-old boy lungeing is quite a trip!!!

[chewitmonster]

I'm one of 4 and luckily the only one interested in horses (my mum is into them too). My mum and I have finally bought a horse of our own and cherish every minute. At one point all 3 of us siblings rode (my little brother couldn't have ridden at the time - too young, but mum joined the ranks soon after - she was itching to ride when watching us) regularly and really enjoyed it. My older brother and sister didn't really get into it though and it soon just became me..then my mum joined in...then my little brother. My little brother hung on the longest - a good few years, but the novelty wore off and so it's back to the original me and also mum. Mum often thinks how lucky she was that only I ever really had the passion for it...she dreads to think lesson costs for 5!!

Like someone said earlier, it all sounds like its quite new for them - you've only recently got your lease horse - so it's quite likely that the novelty will wear off, not that I'm saying you want it to though! I think sharing lessons between the oldest is a good idea...and maybe they could all just help with your horse? Do little jobs to keep them involved? Ask around for anyone who is wanting their ponies ridden/will offer lessons on their horses?

It's not personal experience as such but I know my mum found it hard to afford things....she didn't take my lessons away though, probably because I'd try and take hers away if she was naughty!! xxx

[NoviceNic]

Same happened to me when I started riding. My then 4 yr old daughter wanted a lesson. I booked her a lesson on her birthday and she loved it. Then my son wanted a go. So I booked them both in. They didn't really have regular lessons as I couldn't afford it on top of my lessons. Anyway I got to know more people in the horsey world and along came a chance to loan a pony. The loan actually worked out cheaper than riding lessons x 2 per week. So we enjoyed a Summer with our first pony. In the Winter the kids continued to ride but the loan pony was going to be sold. This I knew would upset my daughter so we saved like mad to get a little native pony for her. Luckily I found the perfect lead rein pony for her. We have owned Bonnie for 3 years and my daughter still rides as much as she can. My son isn't really that interested that much but he can ride Captain. I bought Captain last August for myself. He is 14 2 and ex riding school so is used to novices. One of the reasons that made me buy him was that he will be suitable for my daughter when she grows out of her pony. Sorry long. I am sure that once you get to know a few more people there will be an opportunity to loan a pony that will be suitable for your children.

[Chile Pepper]

That's a tough situation. I don't think your kids will be scarred for life if you don't sort out the lesson thing. Most kids lose interest anyway in the late teens. I wanted lessons desperately when I was in my early teens, but my family couldn't afford it, so I made do with an occasional ride with horsy friends--and eventually I discovered other interests. I have just started lessons myself and hope to own my own horse within the year--but I really don't want my kids to take it up. I realize that driving to the yard is more dangerous than riding the horse. I have no fear myself, but the mother instinct kicks in when my boys enter the picture. The older one is not at all interested. The younger one has a heart condition, so I REALLY don't want him up there! Is it unfair to push them into tennis while I go trotting off into the sunset? Probably. But we're mums, after all, so they expect us to be irrational.

[momofsix]

Thank you so much for all your input. I was out of town over the weekend for a moms of multiples convention and so enjoyed reading all the responses when I got back. This thread made me feel like we are on the right track. We will just keep doing what we can to keep them involved and maybe I can make some kind of deal at the barn in exchange for labor. After all, as you say, I have been wanting a horse 30 years longer than they did, so they have to earn it. In the meantime, they do enjoy helping to take care of the lease horse and riding her when possible. I keep telling them that is more than most of their horse crazy friends get to do. (I already had one mother of a friend trying to book her church group of about a dozen 8-12 year old girls for an activity night on my horse. Yikes! I said "No, I am sorry" as polite as I knew how) You are right, the novelty may wear off for some of them. Although, it never did for me...

[MI Horsey]

I think your doing a great job.Plus I think the idea of helping out at the barn in return for lessons may work out well . I have two kids , a nine year old son who only wants two ride when his sister wins ribbons and a seven year old little girl who is very serious about it ( horseshow mad she is :rolleyes: )Currently I am working her and my lessons off as the lessons would be $50 each two time a week and well were not rich .I am looking for a horse to buy but it's going to take awhile since it has to fit both of us .Personally I don't withhold riding but I will prevent her from showing if she gets in too much trouble :) .Only had to do it once, worked great , lesson learned :D

[notpoodle]

my previous YO tied riding to good behaviour of his little kids ... coming to think of it, so did my mum when i was little (eg if you dont bite the dentist, youll get an extra riding lesson)

julia
x

[cawker1]

We have 7 kids all aged between 8-21! Only two of them are horse baserk luckily!!(10year old and 21 year old who is groom at dressage yard). Could you not have them on a rota during the week like certain days between them? Is there anyone on your yard who would teach them or give them some tips for you cheaply or free even? I find your own kids never listen to you and just think its all a game, but if someone else you know tells them things they get on with it no questions asked? I find the mixing horse with home doesnt seem to work either?? it does with our older daughter but not our 10year old, generally because shes a lazy git. Or does anyone on your yard have a pony/cob that also could do with a bit of exercise? I dont think the possbily paying an instructor with their prices will probably be an option with all them kiddies, home and horsey to pay for for you at the moment??? but maybe someone on the yard could lend a hand for an extra bag of feed or bale of shavings/straw?? Only option I can see at present would be to share the days out with who rides and who does the care side of things mucking out etc. Instead of lunging you could always just go around at the very end of the lunge as a safety thing and just let the kids ride how they want and get accustomed to it their way? I'm a panicker mother too. My daughter 10yr old, has been riding since a tot but only now as a 10year old will i let her canter, and thats! very! reluctantly, I just cant watch!

[sidesaddlelady1]

Not a mum but an ex-teacher with thousands of young cousins. Personally, I see nothing wrong with chores for lessons if they understand the principle behind it. My friend's grand-daughters help with house work so the money that otherwise would go to paying a cleaning lady and ironing service (mother works full-time) can be used for riding lessons. Sadly, with insurance and Health and Safety rulesit is increasingly difficult for children to work for rides on responsible teaching yards