Conquering fear?

[faruseya]

Hi guys. I haven't been around for a while cos I fell off a horse during a lesson when it got spooked (did stay on for the first bit of it, but eventually lost my balance). Wasn't a really bad fall, just bruised and strained some muscles, but it did leave me unable to walk for a few days. I got back on immediately but was just crying and crying. Then I took a break to recouperate and have now had two lessons.

My instructor is very patient, but I'm PETRIFIED. The moment the horse stumbles or I hear a dog bark I get so scared that I want to cry (v. unusual for me, but I'm just so scared) and get off IMMEDIATELY. I feel kind of stupid - especially when there are 5 year olds cantering around me (I'm only trotting these days). I'm not riding the same horse that I fell off of, but it's not making that much of a difference.

I really want to get over this, but am feeling so down about it I haven't booked another class because there's no point when I'm not able to do anything. What should I do??? :(

[vimto92]

Awww don't worry. Take things in your own stride! Don't let anyone force you but try and force yourself. You just need to regain confidence. Forget about what happened in the past when you are in your lesson. Keep thinking "it won't happen again". Surely the ponies/horses at your school are now used to strange noises like a dogs bark etc but if they are not which some aren't and that doesn't bother me because why should a horse not get scared when a human can? Take your time....don't worry about the kids cantering around you.....they probably haven't had a fall with as much emotionalness. If you don't take your time and relax the horse/pony will get tense and know you are frightened and might not do what you ask of him/her.
Vic

[*toHorse&Away*]

Oh, poor you.
Listen, if you want to keep riding you will.
Try not to worry abuot that spook. you did well to stay on for the first bit. Just maybe take it steady, and don't rush yourself. Get your confidence back in walk and trot and maybe do some lungeing/ private lessons. That way you are not surrounded by the young 'uns making it all look so easy and getting frustrated and maybe fearful with the distractions going on around your horse.
Lots of people of this site have had bad confidence knocks, you must only progress at your own pace, do not be pushed from your comfort zones and set little goas for each lesson.
The spook was a one off. Yes, maybe one day something similar will happen, but its more likely it won't!!! :D

[vimto92]

Sorry if I was like "force yourself" I was being sympathatic, honestly :) Just go at your own pace. We are all very sorry about your fall. Don't let anyone force you!

[crazystevie]

Hi, i would probably just follow everyone elses advice. Take things slowly, and at your speed, but try to be open to new things - don't hold back too much. Let your instructor know how you feel, and i'm sure she'll understand.

I used to be like that, and freak out everytime my horse spooked. Now, 1 year later, i just laugh when my horse spooks - it's funny in a weird way. I nearly came off yesterday when out hacking oin his own because i wasn't concentrating and he spooked. I just rebalanced, laughed about it, and carried on - 1 year ago, i would've turned around jumped off and led my horse home.

You will become more and more confident. I think the best way to deal with a fall, is just to jump back on, and laugh about it. It's not always easy if you hurt yourself, but try and laugh about it later. You'll soon forget it, and it won't seem such a bad thing. Don't make a big issue out of falling off - it's part of learning and building confidence. It happens to the best of us. 99% of the time you come away with nothing more than a bruised pride and a sore bum! It was a one off, this horse spooking - and riding school horses are usually pretty bomb proof - In 2 years of having riding lessons, I saw a horse spook once - and she was neglected and beaten in her past home! The chances of it happening again are teeny!

I understand that this fall really knocked your confidence - but you did deal with it properly, even though you were scared, you got back on.

[crazystevie]

And one more thing - make sure you keep your heels right down - this really helps keep you secure when a horse spooks. My horse spooked when we was galloping flat out one time, and because I checked my heels were far down before we galloped, I didn't budge out of the saddle - and my seat is terrible!

[pattir7]

Oh gosh... I feel for you. I've only been back in lessons little over a year now and was looking for a horse to lease. My trainer had me ride a green broke 5 yr. old TB. I should have known better when I couldn't lead him out of his stall past the fan...he was terrified of it. But, I led him around another way and tried him out. Well, we were doing fine until someone crumpled a white sheet of paper and he spooked. Like you, I managed the first part, but eventually decided my balance was unrecoverable and I bailed. The ground is a long ways down from 16+h. I didn't get hurt (other than a sore neck and bruised hip) and I did get back on...but after that little episode, I was ready to go back to a lunge line on only the most 'bombproof' horse in the barn. My confidence was shook very hard. Well, the next week, my instructor had me try out another green broke 5 yr. old TB and I tell you, I was quaking in my boots....I was terrified. But, I forced myself and we took things slow...and I kept telling myself.. different horse, different horse...not gonna happen, etc, etc.. And long story short, I am now leasing him and so far, so good.

If you wanna keep riding (you really gotta decide that), and you really are that terrified, take some private lessons on a 'safer' horse on a lunge line until you build your confidence. It's important that you ride the same horse each time so you get to know that the horse is not gonna spook at the various noises around him/her...so you can eventually come off the lunge line and progress. It's hard, I know....just take things slow. Don't think about the kids riding better than you. They simply have no fear...and falls don't even hurt them as much as they do us 'adults'.

[faruseya]

Thank you all so much. I do want to continue - at least I don't want to decide to stop because of this. Going to book another class tomorrow.

The heels down issue is a biggie for me....my heels seem to be magnetically repelled by the earth - at least, that's the only explanation I can find!

Thanks! :)

[dcp]

Keep at it you will get over this. When I got back into horses I was terrified of the the next accident. Whether it be falling off, bolting or on the ground they get a fright etc etc I promise you will overcome it all as I did. :)

[smaggi]

I agree with everything that everyone has suggested. I think that starting out again on the lunge line is a great idea.

I had a bad fall 1 1/2 years ago and injured my back. I was terrified too. I ended up selling that horse and getting another one. When I first brought him home, the first thing I did was get to know him on the ground with groundwork. That helped both of us learn to trust each other.

When I started riding him, the first thing that I did was make sure I had an emergency brake with a one rein stop. I taught him to flex his neck back to my leg, stop his feet , and relax. I started at a stand still, then a walk, trot, and canter. To teach it at the trot and canter I would let stop him after about 20 feet of riding in the gait. If you are confident that you have a good brake at all gaits, then you won't be nervous in the gait because you know that you will be able to stop him if you need to. This single bit of training helped my confidence more than anything. I even use it before he spooks while trail riding. When I see his ears prick up or another prespook cue, I ask for his head and he gives and relaxes.

Above all don't get discouraged. We all get scared sometimes.

[Cheko]

I work in a hospital that deals with people who have become frightened of various things. One of the things they teach, is visualisation therapy. It's probably easier said than done but the person who's frightened of something - say driving a car is told to imagine they're driving a car down a leafy country lane, the sun is shining, flowers are out and all is generally well with the world. They're enjoying driving because they're going somewhere they wanna be. Perhaps you could just imagine you're having a lovely ride through pretty woods full of bluebells and primroses. Your horse is going really well and you fancy a nice slow canter which you do with ease and confidence. Anwyay see how that works.

[Jo Ellen]

i know your pain, trust me!
i fell off a couple of months ago and it bruised my ego :) as much as my body. i am back in lessons myself and cantering the first time was extremely hard but you gotta "get back on the horse". Stick with it and i know you'll build your confidence back up, i did!

[Jinete789]

Hi

Just wanted to say "me too" - I had a bit of a wreck and seriously lost my bottle this Easter. Still suffer from the odd attack of the heebee jeebies but it's getting better ;)

Also wanted to add that with good patient instruction you can get over this. Two months ago I had to be walked on a lead rein and almost jumped off everytime the horse pricked his ears at something, but now am back to cantering providing I know and trust the horse in question. I would never have done it without the help and support of my brilliant and sympathetic instructor though.

Very best of luck, so many of us have been there and know exactly how you feel :)

[RiderGirl]

Ride a calm, sweet horse that has never had a bad reputation.
wear a helmet of course.
Just walk around the arena and do slow trots.
Do stretches and exercises on the horse, like taking your feet out of the stirrups and stretching, rotating your arms, etc.
Take deep breaths and (here comes the cheesy part) it helps to sing in your head.

Over time, you'll grow confident again!

[kedwards]

Faruseya, from what you describe, your self-consciousness is holding you back as much as your fear is. It's normal to be nervous and perfectly OK (in fact, preferable) to take a step back and take things a little more slowly if your confidence is lost after a fall. Please don't feel that you should be ashamed of this. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone who is really experienced at riding won't look down on someone who is working through a fear, because we've seen it before and probably been there ourselves at one point or another.

If you can, perhaps you'll find it easier to concentrate in a private lesson or longe lesson, where you won't be distracted by what others are doing or thinking.

It's difficult enough to get injured, difficult enough to work through a loss of confidence, please don't make it harder by berating yourself.

[micaela]

The first time I rode the horse that I ended up just buying I took a big spill and was basically terrified. I kept riding him, but everytime my coach would have me canter, I would get so scared. I loved the horse, but didn't trust him or my coach enough and would just sit there and tremble after we cantered (how I fell) and my coach would just sit there and talk to me after we stopped until I got calm again. The worst part is the more scared I got, the more wacco the horse got. At least in my experience my main issues were trusting my trainer again and trusting the horse again. I eventually was able to do both, but it takes time. I just feel again on Tuesday, and it was pretty bad, but I hopped back on. It was just a bad ride in general, but tonight I know I have to get back on and do it again. If you really want to keep riding, you just have to tell yourself that you can do it, even if its hard. I just tell myself that the horse and I are working together and try to make sure that I keep breathing and sometimes talk to him or focus on exhaling. I know its hard though and takes time, so don't beat yourself up if it takes you a little while to get over it. The best thing you can do though is to keep going because the longer you wait, the harder its going to be. Sometimes its better to have a horrible ride and say hey at least I did it, than to not ride at all.

[Linzi x]

Aww, I too feel your pain, it took me 20 years to come back to riding after a horse bolted on me, heaven knows how I stayed on but thankfully I did. I agree with don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine :)

[Horseswillrule1]

Same thing happened to me I broke my arm while showjumping and I was out of riding for 9 weeks! :eek: But luckily I eased quite nicely back into it. I was absoloutly terrified though!

[sarshapebbles]

well your not the olny one i fell off my 13.2hand high pony when i was 7 i got back on every day for 6weeks i still am scared of riding her but now at 12 im not so bad i was on a lead all the time or in the yards i hated it but my mum made me
i still have her shes as bad as ever ...
the spotted devil pebbles

well get back on at all times and you will be fine


sarsha

[KatPer]

I've been thrown a good 20 feet before, but honestly the best thing you can do is just take a super dooper big breath after your on, give your horse a pat and get on that lunge line! Once you get on the lunge line you should do some confidence building exercises like sitting backwards, posting with your hands on your head, stuff like that.... It really helps TRUST ME!

The absolute WORST thing you can do is get on and start to panic about everything. Then your horse can feel you getting tense so he gets tense, then you feel him getting tense and you get more tense... It's just a viscious cycle. Take it from me who rides a spooky 5 year old thoughrobred... lol!