How can I find the confidence to hack out alone?

[CrazyMare]

Yes , I know, a pretty simple task that most horse riders do often . But I am so nervice of hacking out alone with my horse, I am mostly afraid I am going to bump into another horse and he will go mad and I won't be able to control him on my own etc! :eek: I have owned him for 3 years now and I am getting a little anoyed with my self as i have to take my Dad or wait for my sister to come at the weekends to come with us on foot! :rolleyes: :( I start to feel sick even thinking about hacking out on a long hack where I am likely to meet other riders or me having to hack him out on my own, will I ever be able to ride him by myself!!? a friend has asked if I wanted her to ride him past the horses for me and basicly help me out with my nerves but i idealy need another horse and rider to hack out with! :( do you think I should swallow my pride and ask her to come and lend a hand? and how can I stop feeling so nervice? I feel really silly now, I should be able to hack my own horse out by now! :mad:

[ANN H]

I've had Misty for three years and we only went on our first 'solo' a couple of months back (and that wasn't very far). I started by taking a friend on foot last year, then went on to hacking out with a friend and her horse, and then we started going further afield. We now try to hack out at least once a week in the summer and sometimes five of us go. There'd be times when I'd feel physically sick beforehand but you really have to force yourself to do it. Our added disadvantage is that we have to do mainly roadwork. I'd recommend the Bach Rescue Remedy (here we go again!!) It really does work. My friend has had her horse for six years and still won't hack out, and you can tell by her face when we're leaving the yard that she'd love to come, but can't quite make the initial step. Good luck and let's know how you get on.

[smaggi]

Why don't you start in small increments. You could start by walking him out of the gate for about 20 steps and then back again. Do this over and over again the first day. If you are both OK with it, then double the distance. You may not be able to increase the distance on the first day or even the second or third. Just keep increasing the distance at a pace that is comfortable for both of you. That way you and your horse will get used to hacking alone without going for it all at once.

[shirley]

Crazymare.
Take you time and do things in you own time. Like smaggi says just do things in small increments. This way you set yourself up for success and feel really proud of yourself when this is aheived.
I still do not hack out alone on our road (they are quite busy), and I have owned my by for five and half years. We do have perimeter rides and it has only been within the last year that I have had the courage to hack out around these on my own. We even ventured out onto the road several yards and turned back the other day. I have gone to local woods along these roads with others, so I know my boy can behave, but it is the confidence to trust myself as well as him that I am building up to. We will get there, but in the meantime, my hubby and dogs do get some nice walks as well.
Cut yourself some slack and do not be hard on yourself, or so down. Just venture forward bit by bit. After all the proverbial tortoise did win the race!!!

[chewitmonster]

I only just hacked out completely on my own last week. In 12 years of riding I've never ever hacked out alone. I didn't go very far, but went further than I told mum who was watching me back at the yard and panicked when I disappeared from view :rolleyes:

I've had Silver 10 months and its a lot to do with him as hes only just 5 years old. But then I couldn't even face hacking out on my own on a complete happy hacker someone at the yard said I could borrow!!

I'd suggest getting your dad to come with you and ask him to drop back more and more so you are essentially on your own but you can shout him if you need to (I tried this with mum but we got into chatting :o eventually it works). Then I replaced the chatting with my own voice and just spoke to Silver, or even sang. One day last week I just said to mum to stop at the top of the hill and I'll just try it. She walked back to the yard and I planned to just go to the end of the lane and then come back...ended up going out for 20 mins!

It sounds like I was dead confident, but I wasn't. It really helps though to start small...and to breathe!!! Don't think about meeting others just relax, and if you do - so what just keep going and ignore any thoughts you may have of what your horse will do! My horse tends to spook if I think 'ohhhh he might spook here'

Wish you all the confidence in the world :) xxx

[notpoodle]

it took me the best part of 6 months do go out alone. it never worried me when i was younger, but then my pony (after a couple of succesful solo hacks) started napping, which didnt help my confidence at all :( we got over that though, thank god and she will now go where i ask her to go without any trouble.

i think the key thing is to not go alone when you think you 'should' but when you feel ready to do so, doesnt matter how long that takes. you can always just go just outside the yard gate or an empty field for starters and build it up slowly.

julia
x

(i still dont go on the roads alone!!)

[virtuallyhorses]

Start out with baby steps. Take a hack - to the gate of the yard! or around the outskirts of the property or anywhere you think of as safe. Then congratulate yourself. Next time go a little further - maybe outside the gate of the yard and a few feet up the lane. As per Smaggi, if you feel like you can repeat it a few times. But if you just feel happy doing it once then just untack and think about how good it was.

You need to build up a memory bank of new feelings and experiences. If you have been fearful and anxious for a long time then you need to work at replacing those ideas and emotions with new ones and that takes time.

I hack for miles and hours on my own and take nervous people and horses out for their first big hacks in the outdoors. However, I was explaining to someone recently that I never left the arena for about a year because I was afraid of hacking. My first 'hacks' didn't even leave the yard! But I did get there eventually - it just takes a little perserverence and being willing to work with your limitations. Sometimes you need to do what you feel comfortable with and praise yourself for that, sometimes (when you've had some good experiences) you need to take a little risk and push your boundaries.

If you are getting really anxious - don't push, because your horse will feel it and get nervous too then you may have a bad experience and put your progress back. Remember to smile and whistle or sing! These help you to breathe properly and relax. Good luck - you can do it! :)

[Gilly 101]

We hacked out on our lesson today and I scared my self silly. The horse I was riding I have been riding for a few months and I love her to bits I would buy this horse if she didnt belong to someone else, but today was the first time I have been out of the school on her. The horse in front of me spooked and she stood there good as gold but I was scared by what was going on in front and my panic showed to her and she started to panic and started spinning and doing little rears anyway got her under control but I was still shaking. We got to the end of the lane and turned round to go back got to the same place where I had paniced on the way out and she started to go backwards and spin, I ended up facing my friend who was behind me saying I have to get off I cant do this, she shouted the instructor who was up front who shouted back hands forward and leg on, I felt so stupid cause I knew that but I was so scared by this time but did what she said and got back to the yard in one piece but I know I need more practice at it as this was only me second time out, I might ask if I can ride in the yard outside the school tomorrow.


Oops bit long but I feel better for getting that off my chest :D

[Moomin]

Its always been important to me to be able to hack out alone - my last horse was a doddle and never tried anything but Moo is a different kettle of fish. First she was fine and would go anywhere, then she tried every form of napping you can imagine over a few months, now she's fine again but reserves the right to play up when she feels a bit naughty! ;)

In order to start conquering your fears it is important that you have an answer to each question he may ask. You will feel safer if you feel you can deal with each situation. From what you say your solution to each situation is to panic, which won't help you or your horse - he also needs to know that he's not going to have to take over when you panic, in which case things will certainly go wrong.

By this I mean that he may turn for home and try to run there. What are you going to do if he does? Work out a simple solution - something like you're going to do a one rein stop and turn him back where you wanted to go. He may stop dead and not go. What are you going to do? Work out how to get him going again. He spooks at something. What are you going to do? Ride him past calmly and give him (and you!) encouragement. You come to some other horses and you feel very nervous and think he is going to play up. What are you going to to? Perhaps you could get off and lead him past them and get back on when you and he feel calmer.

I think when hacking out alone you have to accept that even on the safest horse in the world at some point you are going to have an incident of some sort. Be prepared! I love hacking alone, and usually my rides don't go to plan for some reason or another - I might get down a bridle path to a certain point and there's something going on in a field I know will panic Moo - so I might decide to get off and lead her past, or even to change my route or just go home from there if its safest. I'm not afraid to get off and lead her rather than fight with her if she's really scared of something. You have to get into the habit of making these decisions - be a responsible rider out hacking and you will soon find yourself becoming more of a confident rider out hacking.

Good luck - take it slowly - don't listen to anyone who doesn't give you encouragement and happy hacks!

[CrazyMare]

Thanks everyone ,I know I should just take my time but I feel so guilty when i don't ride him on my own, i think my dad and sister get a bit fed up having to drop every thing and come with me every week as they know he won't get rode else(he needs it as he gets fat easily!)And then I start feeling presured into riding him as My dad and Sister keep saying '' If you don't start riding him and looking after him he's gotta go as he is costing to much money just to be looked at in the field , you have had him for 3 years, you SHOULD be riding him out on your own by now!" and the annoying part is I know they have a point! :mad: and I have spent all of my childhood begging for years on end for a horse so i am not about to let him go that easily! The problem is if I kept him at stables He would be fine and so would I as I would have people to hack out with, He is just so use to my dad or my Sister coming with us now that he will get all fretful if they are out of sight on a hack and rush back to them, he kinda looks to who ever is on the floor for confidence rarther then his rider! :rolleyes: I think thats why he looks to go with other horses as he knows I am not confident so he looks for reasurence some where else! :( I was thinking maybe about getting some one like a sort of sharer who is more confident who comes out during the week to ride him for me, to give him abit of confidence I suppose for when I ride him at the weekends, or is this just going to make him worse with me?

[domane]

I don't think you should feel bad CrazyMare, we all have our hang-ups.... I'm terrified of jumping but hacking out alone doesn't bother me at all. I agree with the others that doing things in small steps might help. It sounds to me like you are expecting things to go wrong from the minute you decide to hack out and therefore start to feel nervous so your poor little man feels your nerves and acts up, thus perpetuating your fear!! It's a viscious circle and we all fall into them from time to time! Having a sharer won't help you because this is something you need to conquer yourself. I don't think someone else hacking out your horse will help because when it comes back to you on board, he is still going to pick up on your nerves.

I think you need to focus on all your achievements over the past 3 years of horse-ownership, rather than thinking about what you don't do - tell yourself how brilliant you are because you have done this or that, for goodness sake, just coping with a horse for 3 years is a heck of an achievement!!! Well done you! You need to build up your confidence and STOP FEELING GUILTY!!!! It may or it may not happen for you and as long as your horse is getting some exercise, does it really matter if it's not always hacks out alone?

I HAVE to hack out alone..... I have no choice as I have only lived in this area for 6 months and Paddy is the only livery horse in a lady's own yard ao I don't know anyone to ride with and it does get a bit lonely at times. So enjoy your horse, enjoy your riding and enjoy the company!!! :D