help! want a different instructor

[arabianbaby]

i think mine is great for the most part... but i KNOW i'm very off balance. when i ride bareback i can tell from how much hair is stuck on my right leg compared to left. i have asked my instructor about this many times and she can't see it/help me. i have tried to sit up straight, focus on my left leg, etc and it feels awkward. anyway.. before i bought my horses i had a wonderful instructor who pointed this stuff out to me (very abruptly :P) and would love to have her help me again.
here is my problem... i don't know how to tell my instructor as she is the barn mgr and i know won't be happy about it. does anyone have any ideas/tactful ways to tell or ask her if it's ok to get another instructor in? i have no problem lying if it saves her feelings and my relationship with her as i see her every day. i'm so torn but i really feel my riding can't progress when something so basic is off.

[Skib]

I am unbalanced / crooked too.With many people this crookedness arises from their physical build, age or injury. It does with me. And is very likely to be something that can improve gradually over months, rather than something that responds to immediate or deliberate correction.

The teacher who made you aware of the problem did a good job. Some teachers as soon as they see me tell me I am crooked. Very negative, since I know that and anyway it has much improved. Riding bare back is a great method of improving.
From the point of view of your present Yard owner, she may be telling you not to worry, to encourage you to relax and to enjoy riding, since it may well be that in the long run your crookedness will improve. Most people have one leg stronger than the other and some even need to ride with one stirrup longer than the other - it is not necessarily curable.
The real question is your knowing whether it affects your riding - or influences your communication with the horse. Your present teacher may be speaking the truth - it may not be visible. But you may be able to check. This is my list.
1. Is my weight even on both seat bones? With me my right leg is stronger and the weight is likely to be more on my right seat bone. That is because it hurts me to put more weight on the left. Is your horse drifting to the side in walk? If my weight is to one side, my horse may drift to the other side.
2. Am I sitting central on the horse? Or sitting to one side? If your right leg is stronger you may gradually slip over to that side. Once you start trot or canter you need to check this and to sit back in the centre. If you ride bareback you are probably correcting this already, or you would slip off to one side! If you are really unbalanced the saddle itself may slip to one side.
3. Are you sitting crooked, i.e. on the diagonal across the horse with your stronger leg slightly more forward than the other. Some of us do this if the horse is too wide for us to sit comfortably. When one sits like this, one may be balancing oneself by having the opposite shoulder or knee further forward too. Can you canter straight? If your left weaker leg is further back or you are gripping with the left knee, your horse may drift to the right when you canter.
The remedies teachers offer when they actually see this happen are not always helpful in the individual case. One may be told to put more weight into one's left foot (you talk about strengthening your left leg) but that may stiffen me and make me bounce. In my case I can straighten myself by increasing the distance between my right shoulder and my left knee. That lowers my weak left leg and keeps the horse cantering straight.
But the teacher who helped me work this out, has not mentioned it for ages. She knows that I know and I pay constant attention to this. A lot of riding is remembering the things that work for you personally - like remembering what your previous teacher said and teaching yourself. Including while you are having a lesson with someone else.
In a normal school lesson crookedness may show up if you are less balanced riding circles in one direction than in the other - If you notice a difference riding without stirrups or in sitting trot or canter on one rein, i.e. a visible unsteadiness, then that is something you could ask your present teacher about. It gives a definite problem with which she may be able to help. But if your weaker leg is not creating problems with your riding, does it really matter so much? You sound very worried about it. And your present teacher may feel that worry is not a good thing for riders.
Since crookedness improves so gradually, and yours is possibly no longer so visible, would it be possible for you to work on this for yourself for a few weeks and then ask the yard owner whether your previous teacher might come to teach you for a session, as she would be able to observe and assess whether there had been any gradual improvement. Just riding a lot has improved me no end.
But my wise teacher told me that there was no magic cure - and in the mean time there is a lot of other things to be learned and worked on - as you say yourself, your present instructor is great.

[momofsix]

That's complicated. When we were looking for a boarding place, we found out quickly that lots of places you can't bring in another instructor because "the barn manager gives lessons" and usually they don't like people coming on their turf. I was determined to keep my instructor who travels to different barns, so I picked a small place where no one gave lessons and they don't mind having someone come in. I know it can also be an issue with their insurance. Can you trailer out to a different location? Your barn manager wouldn't have to know what you are taking the horse out for.

[oliver twist]

you really have to tell her. i mean, your paying to improve your riding and you need to feel your getting the most out of your lessons. you might say something like, you want a new/fresh experience or oppinion on your riding. its really important that you feel your getting what you want/need.

[Naturally]

You and your horse are the best judges of how yoru riding is progressing. You have obviously identified some problems and feel that you are unbalanced etc and yes, a yukky situation with your instructor.

To avoid embarrassment all round, perhaps you can look at some of the things that are easier to change first. Here are some suggestions that might help.

Try doing some cross training in the gym to make sure you are equally strong on each side. Pilates type exercises are great for builidng your core body strength and it goes a long long way to improving your balance. You may even already be really fit, but it doesn't mean your body is balanced and in harmony.

Try doing some extra riding without being under your instructors guidance. Concentrate on your independant seat and play some games with yourself i.e. riding with your eyes shut (in a safe place ofcourse) It gives you great feel for the horse. Try focussing on a particular point and riding to it without touching your reins (you may have to set up a pattern first by using your reins once or twice so the horse gets the idea). Trotting a figure 8 using a lead rope (leave your bridle on for safety if you and your horse are not OK with halter riding). All these things and there's plenty more, will help you with balance.

THEN, when it's time for your lesson, try having a lesson plan for your instructor. You can say you've been putting in extra time and you'd like to concentrate on a few specific issues. YOu could ask to do transitions, which is a great seat builder, without specifically concentrating on the "seat" in her eyes. You will know if it's going well or not.

So, instead of concentrating on the problem...start concentrating on some positive solutions. :) Good luck.