Horsey Pals - Please Help

[HELENA]

I have been following all the news on this site for some time now but did'nt know how much I might need your help and support until recently.

Having had only 12 months lessons and always accompanied by an Instuctor I purchased my own horse recently. Luckly he has a lovely nature. He is on livery and the yard is very supportive in helping me learn how to care for him.

Just recently I feel at my wits end! - I tense up when I ride - my instructor seeing how much I was pulling on the reins quite rightly I think put me on one of the school horses in an attempt to get me to relax and gain trust enough to stop pulling on the reins - to cut a long long story short this went well and I was put back with my own horse just over three weeks ago.

Our relationship went well for a while until my lesson this week when after a tap with the whip his ears went back and he reared! - not very high I have to say but just enough to scare the daylights out of me just when I thought I was getting my confidence.

He's a very forward going horse (been used for hunting and not much else so a little green - as is his mum) -

I feel I'm losing all confidence in my ability to control him - I'm scared to go out hacking incase he speeds up and I'm unable to stop him - I try to brace my back and pull my shoulders back instead on the reins but my instinct just seems to take over and now I'm really frightened that he will rear again.

Please help - I don't want to part with my boy but it does'nt feel fair to him if I car'nt give him a varied and enjoyable life.

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[floppy]

have you seen how is out hacking with someone else riding him?
maybe you can ask your instructor to go on a couple of hacks with you and she ride your horse and you ride a school horse?
i knew a lady once that was albsolutely pertified of her horse out on hacks and so she use to walk every...it took about 6-9mths when she didnt care anymore and just let her horse have a good gallop! she use to just trot and walk.
But anwyay...
Do you always ride with a whip? have you tapped your horse before with the whip before the incident of him rearing? maybe he is in pain...have you had his teeth and tack checked?
Does anyone else ride him or just you?? mayeb you could find an experienced rider to ride him a couple of times a week so you can ride a school horse to help gain your confidence back..
if ou do go on a hack there are many things you can do, you can ask someone to ride with you, someone to ride besid eyou on a bycle (proivded your horse isnt scared of bikes) or you can ask someone to walk out with you with the horse on a lead rope..just for 10-15 misn or something...go for short walks and gradually make them longer and longer..it will help build your confidecne up that nothign is going to happen to you!

maybe you could go back to riding school horses and riding your horse occasionaly but do alot of groundwork with him like TTEAM so you can build up trust from the ground?

When you ride dont forget to breath deeply from the bottom of your lungs no matter how nervous you are because horses sense the change in your breathing pattern so just try and breath deeply to calm yourself down..you will still feel nervous but it does help!

anwyay must go for now i hope i have given you some suggestions. Im sur ein no time that alot of people will have posted replies too and give you even more suggestions..almos everyone has been there at some point!

[Kerry's Partner!!]

It is awful when you lose your confidence. Everything seems like such a trauma. Do try to get some enjoyment from your horse doing ordinary things like grooming so that you build up a relationship really slowly. The best thing I ever learned was about having (creating for yourself) a "NO PRESSURE DAY". To do this you have to set your sights on something you can do without feeling anxious - whatever that is for you both. No pressure days (and I've had loads) helped me enormously to calm myself and of course that helped my horse too. It can take a lot of time to regain your confidence - I'm still rebuilding mine so I know - but every effort really is worth it for both of you.

[helena@horses]

hi helena you've got the same name as me.
about your horse' you can order special lessons for nervous riders if you live any where near cornwall there a course of them running, at penewin near trulefoot saltash
otherwise you could try and get some older or your instructor to give your horse a few training lessons.
i've seen this happen to my friendthey planned to give up but she didn't and now shes happy with her pony it was because she perisurviverd never give up the world will be a whole lot diimer with out horses and a challenge on horse back. maybe youcould write into a horse mag like pony oryour horse they're loads of help.try annthing don't give up you will do it and think about what your pony is doin not what he might or he/she will. don't give up. tell me how it goes i would like 2 know thanx

[spirit]

don't worry. i go galloping on an exhunting horse sometimes and he spooks and goes extremly fast and he is very hard to control sometimes because he gats exciteable.
if he rearsup it may be hes in pain it could be his legs,back or head.

bored could just want to get out of the school and go on a long hack.
he may have to many concentrates in his food, cut down on concentrates.
no ridden enough- exercise more
spooked-could of got spooked at somethink
But if your horse rears again i would go and take him to a specialist who can train him not to rear.

now about your riding
your nerveous just try and relax try and think of something nice or treat yourself to a bar of chocolate if you think you did well.
or the only thing i can think of is to have a few lessons on a lunge not only does it help your balance but helps you to relax aswell.

Goodluck
Spirit

[artemis]

Try humming. Something mundane like 3 blind mice. I was told once that you can't hum & be tense at the same time. Worth a try.

[sallym]

Could you have some lunge lessons on him, so you don't have to worry about controlling the pace and can concentrate on your position/hands?

One thing I find helps me if I tense up is to drop the reins! I spend 5 - 10 minutes riding circles, serpentines, etc as accurately as I can just using weight and leg aids, holding the reins on the buckle.

Best wishes

Sally