Mums - How Do You Cope?

[The Flying Irishman]

Another thread has made me wonder, all you mums who ride, how do you juggle the horses and kids etc? I have 3 horses and 2 kids and somedays feel like a completely disorganised, tired mess. Not to mention the frequent guilt trips (am I neglecting my kids/horses/OH) So come on tell me how you all do it

[Denbenj]

I found my daughter very trainable in the art of mucking out and brushing lower parts of horses legs lol !! and of course the yard! ( in return for pocket money!!) my daughter is 9 ...

[The Flying Irishman]

Tried training my youngest(4) to shovel the poo into barrow, shovelled it up fine but missed barrow every time and ended up chucking poo all over the clean pile, so then showed her the art of filling water buckets with hose byt , as she has attention span of a gnat, she kept missing the buckets and stable floors ended up soaked. Now i get her pony in and tell her to groom her until i'm done "so that she'll shine like a proper princesses pony should" - found thats doing the trick for now!

[Pink Pony]

Scoobiedoo, I always feel like a disorganised, tired mess. I have one horse, one pony and four kids. I work weekends too so, like you, I also suffer the guilt trips. I know how you feel! Grooming keeps them absorbed for hours though, doesn't it? And it keeps them from getting under your feet - or, more importantly, a horse's. When the horses are too wet to groom I send them into one of the other paddocks to 'play'. The older ones look after the younger ones and as it's an empty paddock that they play in, there is no worry of them bothering horses - or horses bothering them. I have to admit, I also leave them at home with their dad. But the thing I find that suffers the worst is my house work! Yes it's hard - really hard sometimes - but I wouldn't not have my horses (or kids). Besides, if I didn't have the horses I wouldn't have an excuse as to why the house wasn't looking fantastic!

[H & Bailey]

i have 2 little ponies and bailey 14.2,i have 3 kids aged 10,4 and 2.now that the nights are longer and winter is upon us ive more or less given up with the thought of riding :( i cant get a sitter an still have the youngest with me all the time,ive cordened off a safe area at the field and have put up a 'play shed' filled with old toys.he amuses himself in there while im mucking out and doing nets.or he will help mix feeds or brush a pony if its allowed in to munch the grass.
The only time i would get to ride is on a weekend but as O/H is off work , he expects to do 'family' things or go to the pub..he is totally non horsey so doesnt sympathise with my needing to ride.in the summer i can get a ride out on a night after school etc when O/H has finished work.
im always running about like a headless chicken trying to fit everything in and hubby is always picking faults with what i havent done in the house because ive been up the field :rolleyes: even if i do get to ride he moans about the length of time ive been out :rolleyes:
never mind eh!

[GOBBY]

When my 3 were all under the age of 4 including a very handicap son, i had 2 ponies 1 horse, i worked around my husbands shifts when i could and when i coudnt got rid of them, thats the kids to a childminder, and had a cleaner 3 times a week. now theyre 13, 14,17, both boys dont do horses, daughter does her own, and the money i used on cleaners and childminders goes on me, yes im a selfish bag!but holidays in the sun and false nails are my treat.

[NoviceNic]

I have 1 horse, 1 pony and 2 kids. I work 16 1/2 hrs a week also. Basically my housework is kept to a bare essential. :p My daughter is 8yo and she mucks her own pony out. I ride as much as I can about 3-4 times a week. But sometimes when my daughter begs is it her turn I let her ride her pony. ;)

[momofsix]

If it makes you feel better--I have 6 kids, 1 dog, 1 cat and 2 horses. I am a stay at home Mom, but I belong to 2 book clubs, have 2 church volunteer positions and am vice president of our local twins club and adviser for twin nursing--basically I just can't say no.
It helps to have a husband who works at home lots and a teenage daughter who doesn't mind babysitting in exchange for riding and a few friends who drive my son to soccer practise occasionally. I don't have to muck stalls since mine are in pasture.
But I still feel disorganized and crazy most of the time. I have a hard time getting in little errants like having my hair cut, doing grocery shopping and such. I don't blame the horses though, I think they have been great for our family. I love riding with my husband and my kids. All the rest of it, you just do the best you can. I keep telling myself, the kids probably won't remember, if the house was dusted but they will remember all the fun we had together.
My kids all do certain chores, which helps. I did have to come up with some system, I have certain days for certain chores (Monday is always laundry day etc.) and I learned that I can make my days go much smoother if I cook in the early moring, my least busy time, then reheat for dinner.
Don't worry, I am sure that your kids and horses know that you love them-don't allow yourself to get too stressed out!

[pengapenga]

A very supportive OH :D I know exactly what you mean, I am still trying to get organised. Everything is chaotic except the stables, but I am have a wonderful time with the horses and OH is pleased that I have found an interest.

[The Flying Irishman]

Thanks for all your replys. Its nice to see that I am not the only one trying to juggle the balls (and frequently dropping them :o )
OH had just chucked me another ball tho, we are now in the process of moving house - needless to say I spent yesterday moving the important people in - my horses - they have a nice new tackroom (the garage) which is totally organised - saddle racks, rug racks etc - meanwhile the main house is just full of boxes etc ha ha!

[Gay]

I'm going through the dilema of dragging the kids (3 & 5) up to the stables every night when I go to bring my foal in. Am starting wonder if I can do this for another 9 yrs or so or should I sell my youngster and buy them a pony so they can get more invovled instead of sitting in the car for 1/2hr. Any opinions appreciated. By the way are any of you North Easterners near York? :)

[momofsix]

My twins (who just turned 3) love our horses, but sometimes when they come along, they do get bored. I have a DVD player in the car where they can watch a movie for a little while, as long as an older sibling is in there, or the car is parked right next to where I am.

I was thinking of this thread all day yesterday. This is what I did yesterday:
Got up at 6am, cooked breakfast for everyone, took younger son to soccer game and cheered loudly while OH took girls to ballet, fed everyone lunch, walked dog with middle daughter while OH ran errants with twins, showed up late at friends' baby shower, then spend the afternoon blissfully at the barn with horses and OH and older son and daughter, cooked dinner, did scrapbook while OH fed kids, gave baths while OH changed the oil in his car, sent off emails about upcoming events to twins club while helping middle daughter with homework she suddenly remembered, snuggled and read books with twins, prepared my Sunday school lesson for the next day while OH put kids to bed --and then went to the store in my pyjamas because I needed something the next morning and was too exhausted to change!! We must all be crazy!
Good luck with the move.

[chev]

I have four kids, aged 2, 4, 7 and 8, two part-time jobs and a home-based business, a sick OH, and currently 11 ponies including two foals, a yearling, two 2 year olds and one that will be coming back into work this winter.

I don't know how I manage :confused: it's a bit of a mystery, but we seem to do ok.

Some days are awful; last Friday I had three kids to get up for school, then over to feed all the ponies, back to do a shift in one job before rushing back out to do an afternoon at job 2, back to check on ponies and then when I got home discovered OH hadn't been well enough to cook so I had a meal to cook before getting all the kids into bed. Days like that make me wonder if it's worth it; but to be honest, most days I manage to get to run fairly smoothly somehow. Everything that needs doing gets done (albeit in the dark at times!)

[The Flying Irishman]

Well I've never been to shop in my jama's before :D Did spend most of yesterday rounding my two goats up (escaping into horses field all the time) whilst trying to occupy my four year old (twisting) and feeding up the horses. Thats a really good idea regarding a portable DVD player in the car (might try that one)

[H & Bailey]

omg chev i really dont know how you fit everything in! :eek:
to gay- i dont think that selling your foal & getting the kiddies a pony will help.if they are interested maybe but if the foal is your project for the future i would stick with it as kids are fickle.Im lucky in that i rent my land and can put as many ponies of my own ,on as i want.so i got a shetland as a companion for bailey but also for the little kids.they love him to bitsif it had been a toss up between a pony for the kids or something for me.im afraid i win!

[chev]

I don't, H! :D I just fit in enough to stop things falling apart!

The thing is that OH's illness is highly unlikely to get any better, and very likely to get worse, as it is at the moment. I have this feeling that if I don't do what I want to do with the horses now, a couple of years down the line it might well be an impossibility. So while the sensible thing would usually be to wait for the kids to grow up a bit so that I can carry out my horsey plans when I have more time in the future, realistically the future may well be more about caring for OH than anything else.

That kind of thought does wonders for my motivation... :D :D

[The Flying Irishman]

Hi Gay. I'm from Durham

[Gay]

Thanks H. We have ordered a portable dvd player over the net so hopefully it will make things a little easier. I'm fed up with them screaming and shouting at the top of their voices when I leave them in the car whilst going down the field. The horses find it a bit unnerving too when it's getting dark. I may look into leasing a field so I can leave my foal out next year then I would have to buy something for the kids to keep him company! I just hope it gets a bit easier as they get older!!! :)

[H & Bailey]

i have the portable dvd player too,but also have a big van where they can take toys and can play in the back.the only good thing about them being abit bigger is they can help a bit more ie,fill nets and stir feeds without making toomuch mess.my eldest hates going to the field and moans and grumps all the time he is there so i try and do the horses while he is at school out the way