Lost heart in riding?

[Soupdragon]

Due to my ongoing problems with Magic, I haven't really ridden for a few weeks now - just had one lesson on a riding school horse in an indoor school.

I've had a couple of offers to ride a couple of friends' horses and whereas in the past I would have jumped at the chance to ride anything, now I just can't work up the enthusiasm ... To be honest, I also feel inadequate and that I'm not capable of riding anything other than a RS pony/horse in a RS environment. The thought of riding an unfamiliar horse in the big wide world unnerves me!

I know my friends' horses wouldn't ditch me like Magic did and are safe and sensible, but still ...

Sorry, just a bit of a whinge. In the meantime the Magic monster continues to eat his head off and is enjoying his holiday whilst we humans scratch our heads at his mystery lameness.. (Although actually his holiday ends today! - he's going to be ridden on bute (but not by me!) to see if his behaviour improves)

[shirley]

It is extremely disheartening when the dreams we have seem to be coming to real and then do not quite materialize in the way we want them to be. We cope with that and then something else happens and soon that dream is becoming a possible living nightmare,one we want to get out of.
Getting remotivated again is hte hardest thing ever as well. No wonder you are feeling so down and fed up with life, universe etc. Which of us would not. Just seeing how my daughter rides and other youngsters makes me wonder why I ever try.
But then I start to remember that I am a lot older than they are, I bought a horse to plod around on and when I realise that I actually have what I want it helps me.
So Magic is a mystery in progress still. Just how much do you get from your relationship with him on the ground, in the stable as well. Perhaps if this part of your relationship is a little down, spend time buidling it up, do some new things with him, play with him, groom him until he shines like a new pin. Spend time just looking at life go by over the stable door with him. So as the time goes on and you gradually unravel the mystery lameness you are building up your relationship with him, getting to trust each other on the ground.
Have you also thought about the different scearios there could be to resolving this lameness and how you would react to each. So what is the bottom line, selling him if chronically lame for the rest of his life or caring for him and be content with gentle hacking etc. Perhaps also take this time to work out why he bucks /spooks etc and see if there are ways to help resolve some of these from the ground, so thereby when back on him these are not still the same issues, but getting beyond them to resolve them. So not waste time.
Go and ride your friends horses and do not let yourself get rusty, learn what you can from riding them. Also book some lessons wth a riding school and start to see just how much your riding has come on since owning your own horse. Actually getting some riding school horses to listen and actually do as you want is a huge challenge for any rider - if you can acheive that then be proud of yourself.
No you cannot tell the future or the outcome of Magic etc, but please do what you can now - these opportunities only ever come along once in a lifetime, so make the best of them, learn from them - make this time work for both of you.
Good luck for the future and hope you stay with your dream and do not give up please.

[Wobblydeb]

Soupdragon - if all you feel like doing at the moment is riding RS school horses in a RS environment, then that is okay. Don't beat yourself up about it, you've had a tough few months :(

You may find that some time out is all it takes to eventually want to go out on your friend's horses. If not, and you want to get out of the school, then how about seeing if the RS will take you out on accompanied hacks at first? I've not been hacking for a couple of years now, and even though I love it, I think I'm going to do this to ease myself in gradually, and have someone on hand to help :)

And dont' forget lots of people don't hack - you could always take up dressage :)

[CMR]

Don't beat yourself up about not having tons of confidence :) Don't rush yourself either, just do what you feel like doing :)

[Sparklie]

I've been there before and I empathise with you completely. I had a 17hh horse with problems and his size obviously made the problems harder to deal with. He'd rear when being led and because of his height I couldn't hold on to stop him. He'd freak out for no reason and run round broncing like a loon (not with me on him I hasten to add) and there was nothing I could do. All this left me feeling like a complete failure and that I'd ruin any horse I went near.

Obviously this was not true and I got a small fat pony who completely restored my confidence. I guess she was a riding school type as she was well behaved and I didn't dare do anything adventurous like hack out or even ride in the field but that was fine with me. People at the yard took the mickey out of me for being so 'silly' and not wanting to bomb about flying over cross country fences and the like but I was just happy to be back on a horse and not petrified that it was going to a) attempt to kill me or b) be ruined by my dreadful riding.

This was a couple of years ago and I've just bought a new horse after a long break from riding and he's continuing to help with my confidence even though he is a bit of a loon, I'm ready for that now!

Please don't lose hope. If you feel comfortable on a riding school pony for now then do that, you never know, you might surprise yourself and want to do more soon but you'll know when that time is yourself.

I've read about your problems with Magic and understand that it must be a downheartening situation but hopefully some good with come of it in the end. Maybe a short break would be good for you, some time off riding. Go and watch Black Beauty or Seabiscuit to cheer yourself up and help you to remember how good it can be.

I don't know if this has been any good to you but good luck and try to keep your spirits up (and no...I'm not encouraging you to get drunk :p )

[Soupdragon]

Thanks for kind words and support. Will try and keep my chin up - got a lesson booked this Saturday which I was thinking about cancelling, but that is partly because I need to go and do some Christmas shopping.

The Magic monster was ridden today on bute - and in the words of the brave volunteer was "on fire"(!) and did charge off across the school. So he got off and lunged him for 10 minutes, bit of broncing on the lunge, and then got back on and said he was better.

He also reared up when being led in from the field - which is a bit of a worry, as in general he has always been very good to handle on the ground. He has mini-reared before, but not for ages and only right at the start when I first got him.

Will be ridden for rest of the week so will see how things progress. He looked sound when being lunged so the bute seems to be working. Obviously, the bucking and rearing today could be due to him being fresh as he han't been ridden for a while now.

[Soupdragon]

Sorry, just wanted to add

I've been there before and I empathise with you completely. I had a 17hh horse with problems and his size obviously made the problems harder to deal with. He'd rear when being led and because of his height I couldn't hold on to stop him. He'd freak out for no reason and run round broncing like a loon (not with me on him I hasten to add) and there was nothing I could do. All this left me feeling like a complete failure and that I'd ruin any horse I went near.

Sparklie - that is exactly how I feel and describes my situation with Magic. He is only 14.2 but very strong, and I'm only 5ft and 7 1/2 stone - so I can't hold him either if he decides to go. He also ditched my 5ft 10" YO - he has a lot of tricks up his sleeve to get out of work, it seems.

I was just happy to be back on a horse and not petrified that it was going to a) attempt to kill me or b) be ruined by my dreadful riding.

I do feel Magic, if not trying to kill me, tries to get rid of his rider and out of doing work (some of which could be pain related I suppose). And I've lost confidence in my riding too - to the extent I worry that if I get on a horse it will just ignore me as I'm so pathetic and can't tell it what I want it to do!

Shirley - I have been thinking endlessly about what I'm going to do with Magic one way or the other. I just feel at the end of the day I may have this horse that long-term I can't do anything with as I'm scared to ride it, and nobody else will want it as he's lame/has behaviourial issues. The plan before he went lame was to reschool him to give him the best chance and try to sell him to someone confident and experienced who liked a challenge .. the alternative as I have been advised to do is to send him to a dealer/the sales/have him PTS.

Unfortunately I can't afford to keep him just as a field ornament.

[Trewsers]

I must have missed your other threads - I gather you've been having problems with your horse? Anyway, just wanted to say, I hope your lessons go well, and try not to be too downhearted - sounds like you've had a tough time. I had a testing time with my mare back in April when I first got her but we've worked / are working through it - things are much better but I still can't hack out on her without her bolting (rather scary:eek: ). Hope things get sorted for you - its easy to lose heart but I'm sure it will come good in the end.:)

[NoviceNic]

I too must of missed a thread or two. When did you notice his lameness???

When things went pear shaped with my first horse I went back to riding the old faithful at the riding school. I loved him to bits. In fact I bought Captain on the basis that he was the exact character and ability as my RS pony.

Go out on the old faithful and have some fun time. No need to worry about what they might do next. Just hack out and have some fun. :)

[Soupdragon]

http://www.newrider.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=67496

Sorry I posted about Magic's lameness in General. Hope the above link works.

Vet has been out again since his first visit - and said Magic was playing tricks. It's not clear where he is lame - x-rays and symptons on the ground don't match up. The vet initially thought he had a bone spavin on the right hind, but the x-ray was clear, and flexion testing didn't show anything. There was a bit of fuzziness on the x-ray of the left hind, but trotting up and flexion testing didn't show any lameness on that leg. Vet thinks he is thudding down more on the left fore, but there is no head nodding to indicate lameness in the forelegs... Vet confessed he was flummoxed!

Typical Magic - being awkward!

Vet now wants to send him to vet hospital for further tests to try to get to the bottom of it. His lameness is very subtle, it seems, but it just means I can't make a decision one way or the other as to what I'm going to do. In the meantime, vet put Magic on bute and said we should exercise him to see if his behaviour improved.

So I'm still in limbo. :(

[RustyMary]

Sorry to be stupid but what is bute? It often gets mentioned but it's not in the dictionary.

Soupdragon I'm a complete beginner to horses and riding so I can't comment about Magic, but I have been reading your threads, and the advice of others here to relax, go and ride where you feel safe to build some confidence back up and give yourself some time sounds really sensible from any point of view. I know you say that you can't afford to keep him as an 'ornament', but is it possible to just let things ride (oops - didn't mean to pun :) ) for a while and see how it develops? One thing I've really learned in my life is that things become clearer with a bit of time, and then decisions often make themselves.

[Bay Mare]

RustyMary :)

Bute is the 'short' version of phenylbutazone which is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug which is used for pain relief and also, less commonly, for reducing fever.

It is used to treat a wide range of musculoskeletal disorders eg muscular sprain, damage to the muscles and damage/strain of the tendons, tendonitis, arthritis and acute injury/strain to the joints. It doesn't cure the problems but does controls the inflammation which helps to limit damage and scarring. It also makes the horse more comfortable and also makes movement more comfortable which prevents loss of the range of movement. It doesn't, however, mean that Bute can be used to carry on as normal! The injury is still there so the effect means that you can mobilise the horse but have to be careful as it does mask the pain somewhat.

There is a human version called Butazolidin which is used for localised inflammation of bone joints that cannot be controlled by aspirin or other anti-inflammatory drugs eg rheumatoid and osteo arthritis.

[RustyMary]

Thanks Bay Mare - a really clear and helpful explanation :)