More help please - had my whinge so trying to be positive

[brandy's mum]

I posted yesterday re thinking of giving up following my RI being very negative after I'd fallen. I'm tryng hard to stop feeling sorry for myself and problem solve. One of the things she said was that I have a real problem because I have strong short legs (makes me sound like one of the dwarfs out of the Narnia film) Anyway she sems to think that this causes a major problem with not being able to "wrap my legs" round the horse and squeeze without gripping too tight, so I also come up out of the saddle. So, is it not helped because the horse I ride is 16.5 hh (I'm 5 ft 2 and yes my legs are on the short side) Is my problem curable, if so how, bearing in mind she now says he is the only horse they'll let me ride???

[Shadowlark]

I would have to say your problem is curable.. by going elsewhere to be blunt.

Your RI's attitude is rude and derogatory. An instructor is there to build confidence, help find horses that match you and can best help in your instruction. You are paying money for help in gaining a skill - not to have derogatory comments made about things you cannot help!

Some pettite women are among the best riders - LOL look at those tiny little ladies on the HUGE warmbloods doing dressage!! And while we are at it.. what about jockeys? I don't envy them that ride, but boy they are good riders. to balance up there!!

And this whole I only have one horse you can ride. You know it just sounds like she doesn't want your business quite frankly!

[Laetitia]

I always thought that riding schools had horses/ponies for all types of riders and abilities. If they haven't why not?
The horse you have sounds a bit on the big side if you are learning to balance and use your legs effectively, doesn't help if you can't reach!
Why is he the 'only' horse you can ride? what's the matter with the others?
Ask a few questions - don't be put off. YOU are paying them for a service and to learn, not to be put down. L

[NoviceNic]

As blunt as that sounded I think you have a point Shadowlark. It shouldnt matter what the size of the horse is, your RI is there to help you through any problems. If she cant help you I am sure that there is someone else who can.

[brandy's mum]

the thing about that being the only horse they'll let me ride is that I've fallen twice since december trying to learn to canter, once off the current horse when the RI flicked her whip at him and he leapt off and then 2 weeks ago when I must have accidentally given a wrong aid and another horse did an unplanned canter. she now says that the 16.5 horse is the only one they think is calm and safe enough for me to be allowed to ride.

[vince42]

Um I'd be looking for somewhere else I think. Better Half is similar stature (also with strong legs) and has had a history of coming off occasionally at canter too, last time when the horse freaked when RI ran towards her with a stick (seeing a pattern here :rolleyes: )

She's progressed no end since working at another school having ridden 3 different horses there as opposed to the one that she ordinarily rode. Still doesn't canter but this is being actively worked on now and will happen, hopefully in safety, sooner or later.

Realistically, if the school are only willing to offer you one horse THEY have lost confidence in YOU and your confidence will only suffer from here. Definetely worth trying to find an alternative school and get a fresh look at your riding and some new horses to try.

Vince

[Grace O'Malley]

I too think you should look for a different riding school. Sounds like they're not very comfortable teaching adults, and instead of admitting it's *their* shortcoming, they're trying to make you feel useless :mad: :mad:

You can learn how to do this. It really isn't helpful when the instructor hits the horse to make it go. You always get a big, startled leap forward, which is difficult to sit. Besides, it's rude!

[Bay Mare]

One of the things she said was that I have a real problem because I have strong short legs (makes me sound like one of the dwarfs out of the Narnia film) Anyway she sems to think that this causes a major problem with not being able to "wrap my legs" round the horse and squeeze without gripping too tight, so I also come up out of the saddle. So, is it not helped because the horse I ride is 16.5 hh (I'm 5 ft 2 and yes my legs are on the short side) Is my problem curable, if so how, bearing in mind she now says he is the only horse they'll let me ride???

Sorry but that's complete crap. You MAY be gripping too hard, you MAY not be wrapping your legs around the horse. You MAY have strong legs. It doesn't mean that you CAN'T ride a bigger horse (?16.2hh - presuming it was a typo). You need instruction on how to overcome your problems not just to be told that it ain't going to happen because of your physique :rolleyes:

I have ultra strong legs from when I did dancing and ice skating and do have to be careful because I don't know my own strength. I'm also *only* 5' 4" and that isn't made up of leg (unfortunately). I have ridden everything up to 17.2hh fairly successfully. If you look at my avatar the horse that I'm jumping xc is a 17.2hh.

You probably need to think seriously whether this RI is for you. There are some good ones out there, I promise :D

[brandy's mum]

thanks loads everyone for all the advice/support. I'm certain I'd have given up without NR. I''ve got 2 more lessons booked in so will leave them in my diary for the moment but am looking actively at other RS. Any more suggestions of where would be welcome. Warwickshire/South Leicestershire/Birmingham areas.

[esse]

I agree with the OP's. Well past time to find yourself a new riding school and teacher.

I would use the two booked lessons ( well, maybe the last one ...) to ask just WHAT she means by "wrapping your legs around the horse". Human legs are straight things hinged in the vertical plane at the approximate middle. The knee joint does not possess a rotatory capability, and none of the major long bones of the leg - the femur, the tibia and the fibula - are bendable or flexible, at least in the average healthy adult human. So point this out to her, show her an example of a model toy horse with pipe-cleaners WRAPPED AROUND it, and ask her to demonstrate to you how SHE wraps HER legs around the horse!!!!!!!

[brandy's mum]

thanks esse, you've actually made me laugh and start to cheer up , I feel silly letting it get to me as much as it has, it seems out of proportion!

[esse]

It's a pleasure and I'm glad it's given you a laugh. Many people take my form of sarcasm far too seriously!

Too many riding instructors and other horse professionals are very quick to tell you to do something. However, it is all too often (a) a physical impossibility or (b) a totally foreign action to a normal person or (c) a mantra they have been taught by their instructor, and essentially meaningless. Sometimes it is all three at the same time.

Ask them to demonstrate what you are being told to do eg "wrap your legs around the horse" or ask them to explain what you are being told to do eg "sit deep" in a manner which makes sense to someone with the most basic understanding of anatomy and physiology, AND THEY CANNOT DO SO. This is because they are telling you to do things which are physically impossible and/or which they do not understand themselves.

They may be an excellent rider but that is no guarantee of their having ANY teaching ability at all, still less of their actually understanding the biomechanics of either rider or horse.

[brandy's mum]

not "understanding the biomechanics of either rider or horse".

your posts have made me realise that since legs won't "wrap around" like she wants it's probably not surprising that when I try to do the impossible either my toes have to stick out and/or I have to grip with some part of my leg!! Probably no wonder I can't quite manage it
Thanks again

[laura jeanne]

Brandy's mum- I know exactly what you mean! I even made a post or two once asking about the same thing. I'm 5 feet and always seemed to get the 16hh+ horses in my lessons.

See this old thread:
http://www.newrider.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44937&highlight=wrap

I had been riding about 2 years when I posted that and now a year later, I think I have finally that I have overcome that feeling. I have switched instructors and do a lot of my lessons without stirrups. That has helped get my legs into a more natural position. We (OH and me) do a lot of the lesson is a slow sitting trot (jog) which helps you learn to just move with the horse.

My current instructor says that your seat and thighs and balance are what keeps you on the horse and your lower leg doesn't have much to do with it. If you can, when you are warming up in walk, try taking your feet out of the stirrups and closing your eyes and feel how your seat and thighs move with the horse.

[stormandsummer]

Oh please don't give up riding, i would as everyone has suggested changing schools or for now ask for another instructor where you are now.

I am 5ft2 and a plus size rider and when i was a child learning to ride, i spent more time kissing the sand in my lessons than the time i spent on the horse, so your two falls is a low amount from my point of view, my mum used to joke that it cost her money to see me on the floor :eek: Horse used to turn the corner in the school in walk and i would happily slide off into a heap in the corner:p my instructor used to say try staying on :rolleyes:

In time all things comes to those of us that try :D where as my sister never ever fell off she seemed so much better but it came to easy for her, she seemed a natural but soon became so bored and now wouldn't even go near a horse :eek: We need challenges and this is yours !!

I too had issue with wrapping the horses ( my nick name still is little legs :rolleyes: ) and over the years and with some great considerate instructors i have over come any issues i may have had with this.

Never ever let someone else put you off from anything you wish to do because of size or any issues, every problem has a solution no matter what it is in life, you want to ride so do it, and do what ever you have to do to achieve this, change schools, instructor what ever it takes to get where you need to be.

As a client you have ever right to change instructors, in life we do not always get on with everyone, and it may be that although she has good intentions in teaching you, that you can't handle the negative way she is approaching this, so change and i am sure this will so be not a problem :D

if riding was easy there would not be instructors and riding schools, so we all have to learn and be taught by someone we can commnicate with to help us advance to where we need to be.

Keep us posted i am finding this an interesting topic

[brandy's mum]

OOOHHH that's so nice, nearly made me cry (again) what a wimp. I suppose I've realised it's been a really crap last couple of years and starting to ride was one of the few positive things that took my mind off it.

[stormandsummer]

OOOHHH that's so nice, nearly made me cry (again) what a wimp. I suppose I've realised it's been a really crap last couple of years and starting to ride was one of the few positive things that took my mind off it.


There you have answered yourself, riding is positive but take it slowly, I have been riding on and off all my life and i am 36 this year :eek: over that time i have had various riding issues but it was always a distraction to every day life for me, i have always found being with the horses so calming and stress free

I have had many issues like we all have had in our riding years but never ever given up, i even got used to the taste of the sand ;) as a kid i almost got to the point of disapointment if i didn't fall off as one instructor told me that until you have fallen several times cant remeber the number now but you was not a proper rider ;)

I have recently started riding again after a car accident, now i need to learn to ride all over again with a bad back and numbness to my right leg too and even though i can't feel my leg this will not stop me learning a whole new way of riding.

You can do this, brush yourself down honey, and say i will master this :D
When is your next lesson ?? Have you ask to change instructors too ?

I wonder if the sand still taste the same

[brandy's mum]

next lesson is thursday after next, haven't asked to change instructors yet, there's only one RI available at my normal time but depending on how next lesson goes I may change my lesson time to one she can't manage!! (she works elsewhere some of the time). not sure re taste of sand but I can comment on taste of a cocktail of silica and rubber (very nice) and also of sawdust ( bit dusty)

[chapsi]

I'm under 5ft2", and getting overweight and too fat too. I've been riding for years and I've changes as much schools and riding instructors. Whenever I'm not happy, I'm changing.
I think short legged people may experience problems riding big horses; in my case it's not as much a case of my legs wrapping up the horse, but of creating real impulsion.

My current instructor is funny. He reckons that size doesn't matter at all; in fact he reckons that short people like us are in advantadge to him who is tall. What I'm trying to say, is that a good instructor will try to devise ways of helping you and making you feel good about yourself. If he isn't, then it's about time to change schools!:D

[cazrider]

I'm a bit mystified Brandy's mum, as to why this particular, clearly too big for you, horse is "the only one they'll let me ride". Don't they have ponies suitable for beginners? If not, what sort of a riding school is this? What do they put ten year olds on? Most decent riding schools I know, including the one my OH is having his beginner lesson on right now, have a range of horses/ponies suitable for beginners. That is what they do for a living after all.. teach beginner riders. How dare they complain about your legs when they clearly don't have an appropriate horse for you.

[Ross]

Hi,

I've only just found this thread, as we were away yesterday, and yet again I am incensed on someone else's behalf! Don't let them put you off through their incompetence!

You pay this RI good money to instruct you, not to destroy your confidence. And yes, you need her to correct you - BUT it needs to be done in a constructive and helpful manner.

Definitely time to change riding schools in my opinion. I take it you don't have your own horse (I know someone brilliant for conficence building in our area but she's freelance)?

Ross

[brandy's mum]

tbh I'm not totally sure why she's saying I can now only ride this horse. I've assumed it's because I also fell off their other "laid back" one (he's about 14.2 hh) even tho I'd ridden him a lot of times last summer and did well with him in trot and walk. I've ridden other ones there but a couple of them were "very forward going" according to her. to me they tended to get into very fast trot and were very hard to slow down and stop at that stage of my riding.. I've only ever fallen off the 2 times I did unintentional canters. They do seem to have a lot of horses/ponies but obviously some of the horses need very experienced riders. Maybe it's because at 11 stone I'm too heavy for them? God, now I feel like the fat dwarf in Narnia. Seriously I can't even face asking why. I'm normally able to be assertive but it was such a horrible experience I don't feel able to ask - not the falling off, that was ok - I mean the conversation with her last week, which was the week after I fell off. She said the she doesn't think it's fair for her to charge me for a lesson and for me only to be able to be in walk during the lesson. which was pretty weird since she went on to let me trot!! I'm still feeling really bad about it !

[coverblown]

Oooh brandys mum, please don't feel that bad.:( :(

It is the poor teaching of your rs that is making you feel like that, NOT YOU!

There is NOTHING about a NORMAL SIZED 5'2 or under 11 stone LADY:D like you that means that you should not be able (or permitted;) ) to ride.

I think you should leave this RS at once, before they do your confidence good and proper, and go somewhere where they will appreciate what YOU CAN DO and build on that.

You describe an area rich in riding schools. You do not need to stay with these charlatans.

Leave immediately.

I look forward to hearing your positive posts within the month....

A.

[eml]

Oh Brandys mum I thought you were going to say you were 18 stone plus :D :D !!

Cannot see why on earth you should put up with this. You are a normal sized person who could ride a wide variety of horses/cobs/ponies and find ones you feel comfortable with.

I am taller and heavier than you but just not a 'big horse' person I do ride them if I must but seem to 'fit' cobbier types better. Go try other schools and instructors and experiment!

[happy highlande]

BM you are soo lucky being 5'2" - you have a whole selection of ponies to ride that us poor taller folk just have to look at!!! And a lot of them can carry 11 stone with one leg tied up!!

And as for not being allowed to ride a horse you fall off - imagine if that applied to owners - we would all be swapping horses like mad. And the top 3 day eventers and show jumpers would have to give up and turn to floawer arranging!!!!!!!

If (when??) you change RS look for a riding school that does RDA - they will have a better choice of equines trained to behave for novices. And book a trial lesson explaining your previous problems. And if you only want to walk they should be able to think of imaginative things to do in walk - I have spent a whole lesson in walk before now and learnt loads - and ached afterwards!!!!

[Lexter]

Hiya. Just caught your thread. If I could swear on your behalf I would. I am 4' 9" and my boy is 15.1. I have ridden horses from 12 hands to 16.0. I am still a nervous rider and have difficulties in wrapping my legs round a lot of horses (my inside leg is only 25" so probably I am technically a dwarf!).

I was told by one RI that I would only be able to ride ponies, and when faced with a 16.0 Chestnut mare at a new stables, promptly burst into floods of tears and said I could not do it. Lo and behold once I had calmed down, had the best ride of my life (so to speak!!!!!????) ;)

Please change schools. You are only having your confidence diminished. There are lots of good schools around. Many do half an hour assessment lessons to give you and your instructor ideas of where to go and your problems. Please please please don't give up. If it was not for the consideration of my last instructor I would have given up years ago. It takes time to find the right RI but this one is definately not the one for you. There is someone out there - trust me.

Take care of yourself and please do not let your RI get you down!

[DavidH]

Size of rider is NOT a limiting factor UNLESS the instructor is incompetent :mad:
If it was my OH who is 5 foot nothing would not be taking my boy (17hh plus ISH) in to affiliated dressage. Will get a pic tonight and show you what she looks like on him.
Instructors should look at horse / rider combination then modify the teaching to acommodate both paries strengths and limitations. By the book instruction only really works for that mythical average horse / rider combination.
As others have said....change schools now!

[amandal]

Change your instructor... I'm 5ft 4 ish but have short legs, if any instructor had treated me the same way you'd been treated they wouldn't be getting my money. You're not heavy at 11 stone, you can ride a wide range of horses and ponies and that will only help your riding.

Are you near Nuneaton ? When I was younger I was taught by someone who's now running a riding school there, she used to be great - one instructor I remember very fondly.