Receipe for An Unscheduled Dismount :)

[hackedoff]

First take one cob aged nearly 6
Marinade in field and stable for a week 'off work' style.
Pamper and massage with fragrant ungents, treat better than OH.
After 7 days, remove from field and tack up.
Now place in group hack with a sprinkle of HerbyHorse (:D )
Attempt to canter up massive open field being sure to take the lead for maximum 'yeeha' factor.
Add this cob's mortal enemy to gallop up next to him and instigate race.
When speeds reach maybe gas mark 200 try to pull up.
Lastly, forget how to ride and attempt to turn brake pray and swear fruitily at the same time.
Now sit back, then fly forward over cob's head as he plaits his legs and kisses the ground.
Enjoy with mild concussion and neurofen.

:D :D i'm ok guys, just a sore neck.
Hackedoff

[chickflick1066]

Oh dear! Poor you, get well soon ;)

[Clipperchuck]

...

[Imp]

Brilliantly good humoured report of the event Hackedoff :eek: :D I'm glad you're ok though :D

[bexj]

Funny:D Hope you feel better in the morning:D

[domane]

Glad you only lost your seat and not your sense of humour!

Sorry to be so amused by your description of your departure :D

Hope you are OK.

[herbyhorse]

I knew she hadn't damaged anything vitally important when i saw her land on her head!

:D

[HairyCob]

Brilliant recipe, and one I remember following pretty much to the letter back in the HC days! Very amusing spin on a fall:D

Glad you're OK, keep taking the nurofen for a couple of days;)

[amandal]

Glad you're ok, love the humour of it

[ANN H]

Sorry - but couldn't help having a giggle! Glad you're OK and can look back on the event with such good humour.

[JamesJackson]

I found the following a good way:

1. Take one 16'3" rider
2. Put on top of 15.2hh fuzzy welsh beastie
3. Go jumping for the first time
4. Land rather forwards, end up around horse's neck
5. Horse must then canter off in excitment
6. Decided to jump off with dignity intact (yeah right) before falling off
7. Land on both feet with reins in hand :D

[ALP]

Oh dear, hope you feel better soon.

Alisonxx

[*Sez*]

Hope you're okay! Loved your report :D

[hackedoff]

Glad you all enjoyed my latest landing :D Took my other horse Wizard out yesterday and cantering up field a pheasant flew up and he threw an almighty spook but I yelled "I'm not ****ing falling off today!" and clawed my way back on board using his mane in a Rapunzel-like manner. Then guess what? HE decided to have a race with pony behind him which saw me once again tearing along the field at Warp Factor Stupid (but I was enjoying it really:) it reminded me of my old draghunting days). Once the pony behind had ditched its rider (sorry hun) and there were no drumming hooves behind him, The Wiz slowed down and pulled up nicely (did we win the race mum?) and bless him strutted back perfectly to rejoin the group.
Am now known on yard as RocketButt, but dearest Mature Riders, sometimes I feel a bit old for this ****, I could have happily gone to bed with a hottie and a horsey mag at about 8pm;)
Ever onwards
Hackedoff

[amandal]

:D :D :D you realise you're inspiring me to go hacking - I want your attitude to falling off :D

[herbyhorse]

oh go on... you know you love it.:D

superglue on trews egh what! sat the spook out really well ...

I am beginning to get a complex about taking out hacks!:( :eek:
it's not inspiring when everyone it earth bound:(

I personally blame Boris, i had nothing to do with instigating it from the perfectly well behaved Archer:D

HH